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Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
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7:20 pm - ~Please Press Ctrl+Alt+2Pac To Begin!~
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And so... I finally have news. It's time, time to begin anew--at last, a restart!
I know I haven't been journaling as much as I used to. You look back a year ago, and it's like I fell off the Earth, aside from the con posts and a post between them. The reality is..? I had nothing to report. After the first few weeks, I simply ran out of things to do outside of video games and roleplayin' it up on the AOL. A few months after that, and I even ran out of THOSE after a while. Towards the end there, even when I was getting enough to only pay my dues, it was largely just staring at walls. A whole year passed before the prospect of a job became a reality, and it’s the longest I’d ever been without work.
Until March 3rd.
Even still, I didn't want to start talking about it, in case it fell through like the last exciting prospects I got really worked up over. No... This time, I would be sure! So, the background is this... My neighbor is Victor Lopez. He lives in the same community as I do, and he's a tremendous guy that's offered me this job! He offered it before, but I don't know that he was actually serious, and I didn't think he knew me, and the months went by after that until we managed to catch each other again around last year's holiday season. It was here he offered again, and I readily accepted!
However, here we deal with what is largely known as Government territory. The job is a security job, for Job Corps. For those of you who don't know what Job Corps is, Job Corps was initiated as the central program of President Lyndon B. Johnson and his Administration's War on Poverty, part of his domestic agenda known as the Great Society. (The War on Poverty is the unofficial name for legislation first introduced by United States during his State of the Union address on January 8, 1964.) It's like college, but it teaches trade skills instead of a higher education, and helps young people ages 16 through 24 learn vocational and academic training.
I'm essentially security now for the US Department of Labor, now. Sweet stuff, right?
I actually knew a few people that went to Job Corps! Wally, Megan, and Jenifer. I got to hear mixed reviews about their process, Wally favored it and Megan didn't, and according to Chris (Steinwinder), even Ryan gave it a go... But I could see why it wouldn't work out for some, even having now been on the campus myself. There are rules everywhere, and there's no use in fightin' it for people like me--we're night owls. The idea of curfews at ten, not allowed to leave campus or sit in certain parts at certain times or a dress code on what colors I wear or any of that? I couldn't do it. I like my freedom too much. But, for people who need a real chance, and got nowhere else to turn? It's absolutely fantastic as an opportunity.
The application process was very long. Even though we discussed the idea, and Victor started trying to get the job up and open for me in December, I didn't actually even get to begin the application process until March. It was a three month long process, at that--even longer! In the meantime, I proceeded to get my Guard Card and training to go with that Guard Card for use at Job Corps through McGrew And Associates, Inc. with Zeke. I filled out two applications for Job Corps, processed two full Hogan Personality Surveys, had two full phone interviews, and a final tribunal-esque interview in the end.
I actually thought I blew the tribunal interview. I've usually always been very good with interviews, and for some reason... I just bombed. No idea why. Possibly it was the lack of sleep caused by worry over Mitch going to the hospital (again!) for exhaustion or helping my friends with their problems rather than getting my good sleep. Maybe it was the tribunal effect, or Victor telling me not to be nervous that somehow made me think there was a reason to be. Maybe it was because I didn't feel as warmly welcomed there by everyone as from Victor himself. Maybe it was the tribunal-feeling itself, something I've never been in before!
Plenty more reasons it might be, but that's just excuses. The point is? I was confident right before entering, and it all went away like some kind of curse-magic the moment I sat down. I felt like I really blew it, didn't deliver the usual confidence I got in these things Fortunately for me? That wasn't the case. After putting their notes from the interview for review, the ruling was made to hire me (sweet!) and it finally went through June 3rd! (Exactly three months later!) Even then, there were still a few more hoops to jump through before my first day--yesterdsay--and unfortunately for them, that'll be the only day I'll have to work...
Because for the rest of the week? I have my other job to tend to. You guessed it!... Metrocon.
Things on the Available Sound/Team Dynamite Productions Inc. front have been a little rocky and uncertain as well, with months before a final answer coming in last minute as well, so it was back-to-back jobs causing nail-biting, but this was largely due to the Metrocon world being very, very chaotic and busy this year. There's a lot that goes into this business well before anyone ever gets to see it or it even starts, and that means things slip people's minds or work just piles up--it makes it hard to do anything, really! On our personal side, we had hotel issues--evidently, the hotel blocks were all reserved for the Metrocon gig. Out of rooms!
Originally, we reserved the room back in Janurary. The guy we talked to, we assured him we were coming in June, gave the dates, told him it was for the Metrocon event--he confirmed it all! But when I called to check on it to be sure (you can never be too sure with these guys, we found out that that guy put us down (for whatever reason--typo, possibly?) for MAY 15th-20th rather than JUNE 15th-20th. We were able to get a room, finally, but it was reserved outside of the Metrocon block, and mind you this was after a lot of work to even getthis far--they prolly bended 'cuz it was their blunder that put us in that mess in the first place! But, they couldn't budge about the fact that it was not going to be under the Metro room rate.
In order to get it a part of the Metrocon block, we had to bother Alex with it. The guy's constantly busy, and here I gotta bother him with one more menial task. I figured it'd take a while, but I had no idea I'd go for that long under largely radio silence, so I kinda did panic. Called him a lot, left messages, but in the end? He came through, fixed it up, and I am very thankful for him doing so. Thank you Alex, once more, for savin' our butts on the rooms! We really appreciate it, believe me. So, yeah, last-second that got taken care of, and after my one day at the new job, I immediately had to bounce and get ready for this one. Now, me and James are doing exactly this--in fact, we're in the Atlanta airport right now, waiting.
See, we'd also found out that Fax didn't need us to load up for Metrocon like last time, he did it in advance. Meant we could fly straight to Tampa, MUCH better for finances.
So! Come one, come all, hit up the Metrocon with us, and we'll have a damn good time with it all. We're hopefully doing the same routine as ever before, only better, and there're dozens of people I can't wait to see! Our room status (outside of me and James) is a bit packed... There's been a lot of switches, but it seems to be finalized at Mitch, Matt, Mike, Black Kyo, Jessica, and two new entries--Mue and Colin--will make up the teams this time around. I know, I know, full set, and this ain't counting whoever we end up helping, 'cuz we always do at some point right? But thankfully, Matt's still wheelchairs and crutches, and that makes us liable for the disabled room that was recommended to us by the fabulous Elsie Mendez (thanks, Princess!)
This is good, because it is theoretically much bigger than the typical room-set, according to her!
We've done it before, and we'll do it again, so I'm really looking forward to this. I'm looking forward to working hard and playing harder, to rockin' every show we can (up to and including the traditional Iris Support tour like last time, hitting her every show), seeing all of our old friends all over the place, and getting to meet Caroline and her cast of friends that'll be doing a panel there and singing group Melody Chomp Chomp. We're supposedly getting shirts, even, for the group, so be sure to see the Octanium running around branding them the whole convention for sure! The next you hear from me on this, I'll likely have stories to tell of this job and the new Job Corps job as they've unfolded.
To The You,
Walker Pennington
current mood:  appeased
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
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7:16 pm - ~ShadoCon!~
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ShadoCon 2010 was a blast! My apologies (again) for taking so long to discuss another convention that took place months ago... I really should have, but again, more of that medical stuff took up a lot of time. Now? I got me a clean bill of health a week or two ago, so it's time I got back into this--no excuses! I know there was a lot of apprehension out there for people who wanted to come, but weren't sure if it was going to be all that and then some... Indeed, there were some who decided not to come at all. Well, you missed out. Even if you never went to Metrocon I and Metrocon II, and you didn't have the nostalgia effect that we did by seeing it's landmark and many of it's traditions recreated, dollars to donuts that every single soul that went had a blast.
We got on that plane from Houston to Tampa like we planned to, and everything mostly went without a hitch. It wasn't the most comfortable ride I'd ever been on, not nearly as much as the one previous to it, but it was nice to be on a plane without my back hurting like Hell. (seriously, that's still weird to me). When we landed, aside from dying of thirst, things were all pretty simple here--we saw Mitch, who told us Matt was too good to come up to where we were (i.e. he was still a cripple after his leg broke and decided to be in wheelchair mode), Mitch got to meet Jim, and then the three of us went to go get out luggage without issue. From there, we headed out, found Matt and our ride, Matt's uncle Jack... But the unsuspected surprise? Matt's mom, Robin, decided to join us too!
Now, I think Matt's mom is easily one of the coolest people in the world. She helped me out through a tough time, and has always been worried on me and mine, and it was good to see her again--and I figure this is why she came along. Hugs were exchanged and all that, but the issue..? We weren't warned she was coming, and while this was Pam's fairly large vehicle that can comfortably fit five people my size... Well, there were now six. This, alone, made it awkward. So, we crammed as hard as we could into the back while Matt hung out in the "trunk" thing... It's that space in the back of an SUV reserved for where our luggage was supposed to go. With the luggage crammed into our sides and hands, no one could really move--especially James. And yet, no one knew how to get to convention center... Even tho I sent Matt the address! >O
James figured it out given enough time and his fancy Palm PRE, and soon we were there... Before the great hotel that helped start it all. The memories of me, and Cass, and Troy first meeting HERE, our first Metrocon--the FIRST Metrocon. Where I met Nick, where I met Mitch the next year after, where the balloon-knockin' tradition first started, where the Final Fantasy Ball had it's second year, and third... Good times! And we were about to have that again! The first person we hear from is Vicky as she drives up, while we're unpacking Matt and our luggage, saying goodbye to Jack and Robin, and we realize we're definitely in the right place. Suppose there was no doubt--it IS the old Crowne Plaza--but it's good to see things confirmed and well underway.
That new trait hotels love to do--where you must have all of the payments on one card or you're shit out of luck--hasn't been lost on the Crowne Plaza. They picked it up as well. On the plus side, they went with free Internet and free parking, all complimentary, the latter specifically for the convention. We weren't expecting this, as The Embassy rarely allows such things, and I was all at once thankful I brought my laptop. Then we hobbled up to our rooms, deposited our things, and then did what we always do--go in search of Shadowfax and James (Kaufman) and Isa Sherry (who spent this convention rocking an AWESOME she-Kamina concept), and help with Tech Things. That didn't take long at all, as it was the same exact ballroom used all those years ago, at the very end of the hall.
Being in the hotel again was surreal. It was our notion that we'd likely never see this place again, although I always planned on coming back some time. I figured it'd be during one of my trips to Florida unrelated to Metrocon, when I would have more money just to... Hang out with people. I'd fly in, and rather than using The Embassy, which I naturally see every year and really don't like all that much, I'd use this. Maybe now that ShadoCon's here, I'll switch to the Westin for that faraway plan... or the Wyndham. Whatever they're calling it these days. I'm not sure, I'd have to experience it again, but I have this memory that it was my favorite of the official Metrocon hotels, aside from those damn elevators. Of course...nothing beats the Mariott right across the street the staff used to use, does it?
Anyway, the upsides were still there; the fire-exit doors aren't alarmed, and they're an easy-access up to your room in case you don't feel like taking the elevators. And considering there's only three of those (which is one more than The Embassy has) and far less floors than The Embassy, this was definitely the way to go. Keeps you in shape, too, for those of you that don't have stairs in their home like we do. Also, it was familiar and small-time, the way old Metrocon used to be. But the downsides..? The hotel didn't age perfectly. You could see where it had come from better times, to be sure, even in our room... Which had a sizable crack and hole on the upper wall above the couch. Still! It was definitely good to be home! And the ballroom was no exception.
I don't honestly remember the ballroom being so small, it's the one thing that was out of place through the whole ordeal... Things just looked smaller. I know it's not because I grew, I've been my size for a while now, it's probably more to do with the bigger scale we've seen Metrocon at. Now, I look at this ballroom--something smaller than even Ballroom A where me and Mitch usually post--and wonder how we could even consider cramming people in this damn place! But I figured I'd see it in place, and concentrated on helping Fax and Donny and the like. ...Unfortunately, the set up was not to our usual standards, and it was done almost as quickly as it started. We were warned of this, but... Wow. It was fast, with all that help that was already there and everything. I felt kinda useless!
After that was over, I'd say the occasional "Hello"s to those that had already arrived early. Doing things like rehearsals and such. We definitely put in a call with Frankie, and he and Black Kyo were on their way... Well, packing last minute, but on the way eventually. We then moved our position to the little café in the hotel, where we sat down and enjoyed a fairly tasty dish (compliments to the waitress that suggested it!) and greeted people like ol' Kurt, or James Wood. It's funny how it came about actually, 'cuz we sat there to pretty much stop walking back and forth and just wait for Beth to get here, facing to the entrance so we'd see her, drinking cheapass coffee! And while we sat there, the fourth seat was CONSTANTLY changing.
I think Frankie was the original guy. But then he'd tag in Kurt, who then got tagged in by James Wood, and they'd each take over the seat. Eventually everyone came back too!
It was such a big grouping that others just started showing up just to hang with us, like the two Katies, or Beth Riley and her boyfriend! The funniest thing to come out of it..? Katie L trying to paint Matt's fingernails, and him refusing... So me and Mitch stepped up to it! By the time she was done, Mitch had sparkly rose-pink fingernails, and I had Lorne-fabulous fingernails! (that is to say, my fingernails were the same color as Lorne, but sparkly!... Which fits!) It was a pretty easy-going day, all and all! The only thing I did notice was the crotchety old security guard giving everyone hassle... THAT wasn't any good. I kept an eye on him, but figured he'd get the idea that this wasn't his normal job pretty soon and lay off. Boy was I wrong... But more on that later.
Frankie and Black Kyo eventually showed up, but they'd requested over the phone on the way that they bring a third guy with them...someone who didn't have any money. I was already gonna be paying for me, Kyo, and Mitch; I couldn't even help Matt when he wanted to come, I wasn't sure how I was gonna pay for this next guy, but they assured me that this dude was an artist, that he'd sell his ability to draw and he'd have the money by the end of the convention. I figured that was fine; I couldn't pay for him, and I wouldn't ask the others to chip in for some cat they don't even know, so that seemed to work out alright. ...But again, it didn't, and more on that later as well. (Always something with these conventions, isn't there?? At least Matt didn't break his leg again!)
The rest of the day was basically us wandering from place to place trying to be of some use, meeting old friends, or just being basic support for everyone. We met up with Cris briefly, we got our badges from Laura, we watched the performances during their auditions and enjoyed the fun and music that came with it. Honestly, there were some great things here--especially the dance-off. VERY imaginative, and I could see it'd be even better when the lights were out and the show was on for real. We also got to see Beth on the way! She took a long time getting here for her rehearsals, but getting to see her meant we all got to catch up on old times both before, and after, AND that she needed a place to stay!... So she stayed with us!
See, the thing of it is, typically when someone goes to a convention, they room with someone else... Elsewise, it can be expensive, and for us poor folk, that's a no-go. Unfortunately, not everyone a person rooms with is an actor or a staff member, so that often means they reserve the room for Friday night and Saturday night, and go home when the con's over! After all, why pay for more days where nothing's going on is their theory, right? Only, this tends to leave the actors high and dry...and often? Me and Mitch, when we have rooms, can fix this! But THIS year it was absolutely put to the test, more-so than even last year, and it started off with Beth here!
The shows themselves, though, were damn awesome, and all of our friend's performances were excellent (which is everyone!), and I don't know if James could see the "magic" of the convention yet, but I think it certainly wiped away any preconceived notions of it possibly being boring! There was acting, storyline, dance tricks and flips, and an abundance of energy from all the new friends he was making. Good times! The only thing that came up was, again, the old guard coming in and making complaints about the noise. It happened again when we all went back to the room; Frankie, Black Kyo, and Drew had stayed behind, I think it was just me and Jim and possibly Mitch at this point coming back into the room, and the rest had set up their X-Box 360.
This is the thing about conventions. Expect loud. Not shrill shrieking (usually), mind, but it's not a Library, and it's never going to be. This extends even to the rooms, and while I'll admit our room was a little louder than our last two years had been (no Steve, ha!), if you're there for the convention, you pretty much assume that's how things're gonna be. Well, not our late-night hotel staff! Evidently, while we were gone, the guard had come to the room and decided that we had been too loud somehow. He said "this is a warning", and left them be. I heard about it, and I knew the security guard, but I kinda shrugged. Maybe they were being even louder than this, who knows? Only, then he came back and did it again. I forget who answered the door--think it was Jim!--but I heard him say, "This is your second warning, there won't be a third."
We weren't being that bad at this point. So, I decided, am I not staff to some degree here? Not quite the staff I am at Metrocon, prolly, but I'm fairly well known here and I know we're supposed to be security. It's time I had a word with this guy, security to security, 'cuz this he can't do anymore. So, I went down after him. That's when I spotted him lingering near the front desk, and figured I'd bring both people in at this point. I said, "Hey there, I just heard you at my room threatening to throw us out for being a little rowdy, and I wanted to talk to you about that...because you can't do that." The girl said very little, but the security guard seemed to have his feathers ruffled by that with his rebuttal, and I realized he prolly thought I was being a jerk customer or telling him how to do his job, so I had to back track slightly and explain myself.
I made sure he understood where I was coming from... That I understand his job, I've worked it before, but I could tell he very obviously wasn't informed about what he was going to see the next few days. I explained, this is not a typical set of overnight-stayers he's going to see landsliding through his front door, and that no matter how much I explain to him what it will all be, no matter how much I could prepare him, he will not be prepared. I'm going over memories of Metrocon I and Metrocon II by this point, and what I remember Crowne Plaza reporting to us--always "We were NOT prepared" for this, and those were the words I used here, too, to stress the caliber of the situation; that he could NOT throw every single person not using their library voice here at the hotel, or else he'd very quickly be throwing out every single person staying here, and both losing money and causing anger from both of our higher-ups.
I pretty much bawled him out, but in the nicest way possible; both "Yeah, I understand" and "But, no". He seemed to be getting it to some extent by this point, but we were still kinda debating over it, he was still a little upset he was in this situation in the first place, and that's when Cris and Vicky came over and helped with the situation; with our combined explanations, we assured him of the situation; that we've more or less bought out this hotel for the next three days, and that we had our own team of security he could talk to and work with the whole while if something was truly out of hand, but to expect general hyperactivity, loudness, and shenanigans to run rampant pretty much night and day as long as this 24-hour convention lasts.
Initially he'd said that someone had complained. When I asked who, 'cuz I was a little surprised, he'd backtracked to saying one of OUR guys in the Hawaiian shirt complained about it, but that's suspect, and when I said that was weird, he admitted really all he heard was noise down the hall some, and by the end of it all, we were on first-name basis and shaking hands. Since then, Gene had a pretty decent time of it for the rest of the con. The only hangup was the witch behind the counter, the night-shift manager? Man, she HATED us, and I suspect that's where a lot of our problems likely started with. She looked to be one'a them er...born-again types, had the cross, hated cursing of any sort, and that many of the outfits worn were inappropriate, and she was enraged when she told me. ...Ah well, I tried.
~Day One: Press Ctrl-Alt-2Pac to begin.~
We went to bed very, very late... Or early, as the case might be. Between constantly playing Super Street Fighter IV with the roomies, or gossiping between me, Beth, and Mitch, sleep didn't happen 'til like...3:30, 4am! And unfortunately for me, it wasn't long-lived either. I woke up on the floor to Black Kyo and Frankie rustling around for their shoes around 5:30-6am, and found myself too awake to even consider sleeping again. Maybe the same apprehension came over us as that comes over kids on Christmas Day..? So excited for the festivities to begin, they can't even sleep, they wake up early, and they hum near the tree waiting to get into the meat of the fun! That was us! And we decided to spend it going down to the café/restaurant thing we hung out at yesterday to get more'a that cheap coffee and their cheap buffet.
This time our waitress was Kathleen, who was pretty awesome in her own right, and certainly put up with us while we waited for the madness to begin... These people had NO idea what was in store for them. We figured we'd end up catching the two Katies leaving for some kinda college thing in their business suits, but we didn't...but we got to cover a lot of fun jokes, catching up on current events in our lives, and general shooting the shit 'til people would start coming in, and we got to see all manner of good friends throughout! I just wish this restaurant was happy to see us after this...'cuz they didn't want us using it at all, and ended up even closing up for the weekend of it. Guess they don't like business, even if it's for coffee?
A lot of the day was spent wandering. It's kind of our thing, the thing we enjoy doing more than any of the shows, any of the rooms--it's that rare chance to catch up with old friends, regale people with tales, tell tons of jokes, produce tons of shenanigans, and make some great new friends. Hell, for the first few years, we rarely *attended* any events! We just had such a blast drifting from one hall to another and just enjoying all the energy, and it's prolly the thing I love about these conventions--Metrocon's and, subsequently Shadocon's, in specific. Like I've always said, very much a family, although we learn something new about this family every time we get here!
One of the first major events that we hit, if memory serves, was the talent show. We helped move a massive, overly complex bar table from the ground to the stage without too much issue, and then James went to fetch glasses as for the bar, because it was to be used as a judge's table for Tyler Walker (awesome guy!!) who was playing this year's Kefka, Thomas McGowan (who was playing this year's Simon from Gurren Lagann), and newcomer Brelin Luster who was just hilarious and very skilled indeed! The three of them would sit there and go through each person doing their thing, and comment on each of them in their various ways, often to themselves, and often improvising--that's the best kind of thing, you remember our original Star Party from 2009! Improvised character acting... I think it makes everything hilarious!
A number of our friends were going to be there, some of which rocked the last-second improvised talents such as Beth and did really awesome, and others which rocked the K-Pop scene even more-so (Iris was CL!!), and--we suddenly had to go, and didn't get to see the end of it. Which was too bad, because several of our other friends still had acts to go! But, they needed someone to perform security for a door. I guess special VIP people get access to the special VIP room? Some obscure, almost shady down-the-hallways room of the hotel proper which needed guards to check badges until a new security man showed. Well... That was just up my alley, and Jim wanted to help, so we all bounced out and hung out by the door for about an hour, I think? Jibba-jabbin' about hotel structures and the like 'til the new guy came by. But the lady behind the door gave us soda :D
Later, when we returned, the Talent show was good and over, if memory serves, and things were happening for the next major event... The Breakdance Breakdown. This scripted event was the one we walked in on the other night being rehearsed, and while the bar was moved more center-like, Beth was still in the show with Amanda McLelland and Jenna, Liz and Hippie and various others being background customers at the bar scene (and later, background dancers!) for the events that played out. The story was of Kamina (played by Sherman!) and Simon (the aforementioned Tom) traveling about and getting cornered by Viral (played by a very convincing Vincent Decomo) and challenged to a dance off for their mech. So...firstly, they noted that Viral had a crew, and that meant they had to find a crew of their own!
As the story unfolded, they got KOS-MOS from Xenosaga fame (by crowd-favorite Madison Bickel), Killer Bee (Aforementioned Brelin Luster), Mugen (Jamey Feshold), and Ace (Reko Rivera) to help their dance off against their noted enemies--Viral got Eddy Gordo (played by Jeoffrey Anderson!), Tyki Mikk (Msante Des Vignes), Laharl from Disgea (Briar Hines), T-Elos (Chanteau Knight), and...I think there was another? Memory does not serve, BUT, it was an excellent story none-the-less. Everyone thought the dance moves were very well done, and everyone laughed and had a fantastic time. I'd love for this event to come back, and it's times like these that I wish we had a dedicated camera and recording system--professionally, like we did when I was working with Sydney at R&J, recording performances to keep for an eternity. VERY well done, by all.
And, of course, Kamina (almost) died, and Simon had to win the day. Very dramatic! XD
When it was all over, later in the day, we had to clear chairs. Get them all out of the way, because the Final Fantasy Ball was back in town! The Final Fantasy Ball was originally created as a method of showing people the magic one can feel in a formal dance between young people... The kind of things you figure characters feel in their Disney classics, the princes and princesses dancing it off with their people, and in this instance? A Final Fantasy themed one, inspired by the dancing in Final Fantasy VIII. (Good scene, not-so-good Final Fantasy!) So, in order to awaken that kind of spark so rarely seen in youth in this day and age, they went out of their way to produce one...and it was so popular, it was incorporated into the very first Metrocon the next year.
It was a hit, so they brought the third FF Ball back for Metrocon II. The next Final Fantasy Ball seemed to go off without a hitch! I'm not entirely certain what happened after that, because it stopped showing up, although it directly inspired the Metrocon Masquerades that came after it... The same format, telling a story with the intention of showing magic, with dancing between acts of character development and plot throughout the play. Still! It was very fantastic to hear it was coming back, as ShadoCon intended to bring the beat back of the original Metrocon, and was run by the very person that (if memory serves) used to run the original Final Fantasy Ball! It was like the stars were aligned right--or, perhaps, that Shadocon was all planned as a way to get that play back on board, with the feeling of the old convention an excellent staging ground to make that happen.
Either way, it was good. VERY, good.
The plot of the Final Fantasy Ball IV was that our heroes had all gotten together with their respective romantic interests...the two biggest deals of each game--from FFVI up to FFX, which is an excellent place to stop!--were taken, with Katie (Atkisson) and James (Wood) playing Terra and Locke (that never made sense to me, Locke gets with Celes! VERY obviously! Terra and Edgar were more a thing, I think, right Rahan?), Brandon and Shelby (Catalano, not Johnson, obviously!) playing Cloud and Tifa, Deena Hayes and David Nickeson playing Rinoa and Squall, Elsie Mendez and Eli Flens as Princess Garnet and Zidane, and Grace Anderson and Lillian Greene as Tidus and Yuna, respectively. Other characters ended up showing up...Tyler's Kefka, and Iris playing the Cloud of Darkness, Sasha Beers and Scott Bartlett playing White and Black Mages (they said these were Chocobos, but...clearly, sir, these were no birds! Too genius!) and much more.
During the ball, we sat to the side, out of people's way. It was me, Mitch James, Matt, Heather, and Arianna, just enjoying ourselves and kickin' it! Watching the story, watching the energy of the people there, watching the dances, when suddenly Elsie showed up--I guess she realized none of us were dancing 'sept Heather occasionally, so she was prolly concerned that we large bearded folk were being stubborn!...which was true, we don't dance. I surely never learned much of it, aside from once with Rebecca (Stansell) four years ago! And even then, I was clumsy, and I wasn't much better here. I prolly might have been, but the Princess' dress was very long, to the floor, and I got big feet...so most of my time was spent trying not to step on it, which meant going backwards while trying to do the three-step, and prolly crashing into more than one person. I prolly looked the fool, but it was FUN! XD
Soon after, we all got braver from it. We did a little dance--me, Mitch, and Arianna--while James had disappeared to guard stuff for Fax without telling anyone, and Katie Lombard and Brian Schief and Rebecca (Hendrickson) performing various, secret roles out of nowhere with the big surprises, and Beth (Riley) taking the people on a quest through Rudy and Adrianna's story... It was all very well played out, and an obvious plug for Dissidia (a game I've yet to play... DAMN you, PSP!) When it ended, everyone prolly left with the same warm fuzzies we had. The twinkles in our eyes. The "this is why I go to these things" thoughts in our minds. We visited with plenty of the actors, and Fax himself, and partied well into the evening. I'm pretty sure this was the night we ended up in a corner of the hotel with Mitch, both Katies, both Jameses, Frankie, and eventually Brandon. Gooood times!
Another interesting thing that happened before this, or... After, I don't remember, but developments occurred that one'a our friends--our Metrocon crew!--Katie Lombard ended up needing a place to rest, and who better than us? You know how we do, we love helping people. Beth had only needed the one night, so the bed was theirs. ...Granted, it was crowded. We had a few more people than I expected (Drew was bring around his new.. girlfriend?... ), and it prolly exuded an aura of macho sloppiness, but I hope she'll forgive us for it! It won't be that bad the next time around, I imagine. She had her friend with her, and unfortunately I forget her name--I didn't get to meet her very many times, but I hope she forgives us too. It was a good night, and I think we were all pretty tired by the end of thing. More wandering around, maybe more X-Box, and eventually... Sleep.
~Day Two: Events, Events, Everywhere There's Events!~
Saturday got better sleep than Friday. We had an *excellent* time hanging around, and saw several interesting things. The first of which was the "Shado Tournament". This is Shadocon's answer to Metrocon's chess match, no doubt reminiscent of how things used to be back in the old Metrocon days, and consisted of various characters summoned by a man "Lord Shado" (read: Cris Colina, possibly a play on Roy's "Lord Metro" to fight for the ultimate prize: A wish that can grant anything. The best part about this lineup is that they can and do summon characters from all over the board... Anime, video games, books, and so on. While Metrocon's chess match does this too, they're an anime convention--so where Indiana Jones shows up and the whole crowd's going "WTF is this shit?", Shadocon could pull that stunt and get away just fine, because the convention specifically covers more ground and was intended to do so!
The list of characters is significant, so I won't bust out the roster, but many actors show tremendous talents attempting to keep in character. It didn't look like they had as much time to practice as a typical Metrocon events, but where they lacked in this, they made up for in making everything feel natural... A lot of people were really enjoying themselves (not to say they don't always training for the chess match, but!) and their roles, and they seemed to be at ease doing them: This was an event tailored from the ground up to be fun, while simultaneously entertaining for the people watching, as opposed to be a big production that's there solely to entertain. This will prolly change as Shadocon grows in tremendous popularity--the bigger things are, the more professional they tend to have to be, but hopefully at their core they'll have everyone still having fun and not become militant!
The show hosted several people I already know--Ariel went and played a spot-on Ridick, Elsie went and reprises her role as Garnet in conjunction with Shelby Catalano's Tifa, Brandon busted out the Gambit look, there were several people all playing Pein, and naturally Richard Roberson reprises his very excellent role as Deadpool that ended in several amusing moments with Jessie Marston (AKA Kira Black) and her role as Negi from Negima. The fighters went in a bracket-style martial arts manner, that often ended in some typical, unforeseen shenanigans that prolly broke every rule in the book--but who's here for rules when you have a card like Deadpool? And the end result was Legato played by Sherman Christensen! As Legato, Sherman was the major villain mix up in all of these (naturally!) and without a Wolfwood to stop him, that caused a lot of fun and interesting surprises.
The best, of course, was the big reveal..! Legato was actually SHERMAN all along! ...Yeah, we knew this, and it wasn't intentional, but during one of Sherman's falls, his wig comes off and Sherman, being the actor that he is, doesn't miss a beat! He stands proud and strong, as if it's all as it's supposed to be, and it comes off very much like "all along I am actually SHERMAN", especially with the line that comes with it. Again, this was NOT supposed to happen, and I understand the Sunday version didn't have this, but for me and many others it was hysterical--in a good way!--and didn't take away from the actual plot at hand. After a few laughs--because we all got the same joke in our head without saying a thing to each other--we put back on our imagination and the show continued without pause.
We had a *lot* of fun, and in the meantime? We got to help Mike who got a panel who had us give him as many "famous last words" we could come up with.
The next thing I think we ended up doing--aside from random hangouts with all sorts of people--was hittin' up the local store for that alcohol. After all, we rarely have ourselves a drink, and this is the time to do it! Me and Mitch sit down with Donny, James, and Arianna as we thought about possibly getting something. We mentioned that me and Mitch were gonna eventually wander around for the alcohol later down the roads, but unlike downtown Tampa, there didn't look like there were many buildings around here that weren't hotels. Leave it to Donny! He comes up with the idea to just go out in the truck and get some! So, we gather our monetary values, head into Donny's truck, and off we go. We discussed a lot of the aspects of Metrocon and Shadocon, got our things, and generally had a good time just kicking back 'til the next big gig.
The next major event was spent with me and Matt, and I think for some of it even Mitch, goin' down to the Korean-Pop panel like the one that was in Metrocon! Unfortunately, the Crowne Plaza is a very small place... It certainly didn't seem so small back when we first came here in the early Metrocon days, but now coming back I sometimes wonder how we managed. This is one of those times. These performers are *excellent*... They switched out who's who, but some names off the top of my head are Iris Moon and Elsie Mendez (obviously, by their earlier act!), as well as ol' Sherman once more, Anne Tully, Tony Ho, Bethlyn Christman, I think even Macky Castro who's an *excellent* guy to work with, Lillian Greene, Megan MacNeel... And Hell, even Casey Ritchie--who I thought wasn't gonna make it 'cuz she was in Miami for some kinda dance-off!--managed to show up and kick ass. Casey wasn't around for long, just that, and it was back to her competitions with her.
Their show was excellent, as always, despite the crowded room. Everyone huddled around, and Steve (Sorato-Steve!) continued to play the beats while they danced it off and taught the crowd how to do many of their signature moves, and Sherman hung out often in the back with me and Matt and the rest as we watched, offering us "manly variants" of the dance moves in question, showing a plethora of manly poses in spots where a more girly displays would happen. NOT that Sherman was uncomfortable doing otherwise, as he soon demonstrated afterwords, and had demonstrated in the past!--merely, an alternative for guys like me n' Mitch and Matt hahaha. It was a good time, and I *definitely* think you guys should be checking them out this next year at the Metrocon. I'm hoping the get good enough to get into Ballroom A with me and Mitch, 'cuz they've *gotta* be pulling in more people than, say, Fairytale Theater!
At the closing of the show, Megan and Elsie announced their other gig--a little mini-rave dance off thing with the theme of steampunk pirates! It was a very small event, more for fans who just wanted to have a good time, but it was amazing! Elsie played the bossy Captain that was adverse to any fun at first, but shined on to the idea of a dance party so long as it was done in her name, and in the honor of the crew, and Megan rallied people to that cause, with Steve... Man, Steve was on FIRE. Dude was all about dancing, all about being hip, he was a real blast to watch, and he has a way of inspiring you and making you feel like you've made a difference--and from my part especially, thank you Steve for the big shout out. You're an *amazing* person, and we'll make it through the hard times to get to a better tomorrow, I guaran-damn-tee it. So! If you like the dance, and you see these guys gathering again next con, be sure you join in! Me, Jim, and Arianna certainly enjoyed it.
The next thing that I think ended up happening was Mike's little Mario panel that he came up with I think last second; it was one of the best parts of the convention, by far. The guy really sells down his own genius, but here he is--I think he planned for an hour panel? And it's just Mario telling a makeshift, wacky tale of The Legend of Zelda. Selecting people from the audience, I ended up being the guy chosen to play Ganon (!) and Frankie was brought up to play Princess Zelda (!!) and... I readily admit I don't think I knew the person brought to play Link. It certainly was a *damn* shame Matt missed it, considering Zelda was his thing, 'cuz we all had a blast; Mitch and Jim watched our silliness as Mike, in character, told the story by having us position about the room, run around, making sound effects (like I had to evil-laugh) and lots of ad-lib; especially Frankie hahahaha, oh man...
Anyway! When the story ended about a half-hour early, you think any normal guy would be stuck. "Didn't plan for this!", right? Not Mike. He proceeds *right* into a hysterical improvisation, just an entire half hour of ad-lib Q&A. Let people ask whatever they want, typically tailored towards what the character Mario might know, and he replies--and it was practically stand-up! He had us rolling, and while you're watching him just... Bat a thousand, it really makes you wonder how anyone could throw this guy under a bus, much less *not* make him the head of any program. He's a real character, and a Hell of a performer, and he brings people in. What started out a small, almost unknown gig, brought a full room in a manner of minutes. The laughter, alone, brought them in from all walks, and everyone could relate. Cheers to you, Mike!
After reconnecting with our in-room people (what people we could find, as you know they were wandering everywhere), we immediately turned to go and join the cast down for another Dr. Horrible singalong act like usually done at the last two Metrocons! The same cast seemed to be there for the most part, with some minor changes. The downside was, again, the very small room compared to it's usual presentation; a stage show has a hard time performing stuffed into a corner, but? The caliber of these people--no doubt brought from repeated performances, now they know how to step without even looking--made the transition to this small-room environment very well. We all had a good time as usual! The *only* downside to going to the Horrible show is Brandon Lewis was looking to hang out with us that evening, and he didn't wanna call my cell... And we more or less missed each other. But! The hangouts would happen eventually on...
~Day Three: The Octanium of the Beard~
You know that scene during a TV show... Sometimes after a specific episode, sometimes after a long series of events, but it's the one where everyone's sitting around a table (or something akin) and the camera spins around the room--around them--slowly, as everyone talks about their day, and whatever they say is answered by another person flawlessly--they're in sync, they're full of that synergy, passing around plates (or something like it) to each other, and just... Comradery and fellowship at it's best. Examples are the last episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (or other episodes like it) and their poker table, or that episode with Angel where he's dreaming all his friends are together, or... You know, commonly used as a scene to fade out from, just to show they're united, they're a family, and that--at least for this day--they're together. It's that they're people.
Well this was one of those times.
I'm not sure how it started. We spent the day doing our usual wandering around and seeing if people needed a hand, and we managed to run into Constantine Kyriakou from Ariel's GGX Wrestling Show at last Metrocon, and man was it good to see him again! We shot the shit and connected just like the old times, and I remember tellin' him we were gettin' pizza when he said we was hungry. Come along! And he agreed to when he got back from hangin' out elsewhere. We told Mike as well, but he said he was busy doin' a thing as well, and that he'd be back later. Sure enough, we some of our crew know too--you know, the cats that were originally going to be staying in our increasingly growing room size! All different people.
This ended up being a weird convergence... Me, Jim, and I think Matt were already at the table. We'd been waiting around forever for this Goddamn pizza--I think Frankie might'a been along too, but as soon as that pizza hit plate, Frankie, Mitch, Kyo, and Consta all showed up from different parts of the Shadocon world and took a seat. It was like a dinner bell range, and the family came over... And we just all hit it off like magic. Complete synergy, totally in sync, and I know I wasn't the only one that felt it. People from completely different worlds, united under one banner... Anime? Not entirely. Games? Surely we all play them, but there was something.... More. Passion for righteousness? Very possibly, but beyond that! THE BEARD. As we got to talking about it, in one of our requisitioned tables--as we finished each other's sentences and began to consider the possibilities, we came up with it!...
The Septium of the Beard.
This rightly means Seven, and it looked good! This is before Mike got there, but Jessica--Mike's girlfriend WAS with us in the formation, and she made it clear she was holding his place... So, when we realized this, we quickly averted to an even greater name: The Octanium of the Beard. We decided that WE are the life of the party! That when the situation called for it, so would our return, as the Rise of the Beard! We enveloped the art of manliness and declared (Mike's idea) that real men will waste no chicken wing! And under this ground, it just felt... Exactly like that, like I'd ended a chapter of my life with a real high note. Maybe it sounds silly to you? But to us, we think it's pretty amazing, to be united like we are, and furthermore stand for things again. We all invented nick names for one another, and I made sure to plan to make a Facebook page for it all the moment I got home!
One of the many "talents" we'd picked up was the complete and total center of attention and praise we'd give to any entity we decided at that moment deserved our boisterous applause, akin to the BSG Fran Chant, but much much more. And boisterous it was indeed! We made so much noise, the eight of us, we didn't need the rest of the world to join in (although join in they sometimes would!), we could--and did--call the whole hotel's attention onto the deserving with uproarious cheers and hammering applause, absolutely not using our inside-voices in any form or way. I think we heard ten of the nearest libraries in the city move away that instant--it was amazing, it was *electrifying!* And we did this all that day, strolling around as the Octanium and bringing our attempts to create good energy and good will to all mankind we could fine--and be manly 24/7 when doing it!
We didn't get to see the closing ceremonies, largely because of this, but we did get to see the Metrocon-style sendoff at the end that they always do shortly before rolling up the chess board. There's usually a lot of emotion here, and a lot of long faces... Many of these people won't see each other for half a year, and because it's often a full year, many of these people still FEEL like it'll be a full year. For someone like me? Facebook, AIM, and more keep me in the loop, but in many respects me and Mitch were always considered The Outsiders anyway, very Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, and considering the BSG was nWoin' it up and was very much the "outsider organization" to Metrocon as well, it really fits like that. Even if we consider everyone apart of our extended, Metrocon family, I can all but assure you the sentiments aren't returned by everyone we give it to haha! Not that we mind.
We we watched from our distance, as production rather than team, and watched the people ride their emotions. I'd love to be comforting, reassuring, and get those hopes back up, but it's just not that kind of sadness. They're gonna miss each other, as we all miss everyone when the time comes to split! I'm just glad ShadoCon is here to give everyone the opportunity to do this twice as often instead of the one time annually! And when it was all over, we went about the disassembling of everything in the room, as per classic Metrocon routine. The amount of people here versus our usual probably wasn't different, but it seemed greater due to the smaller room, and the smaller scale of effects. With various people giving a hand, often our tasks were done before we even got to them, and you were kinda like a headless chicken! But it all likewise went very quickly, and even though my back still had a huge hole in it, I was able to help some.
And to my credit, Fax said I looked healthier than I had the last few times. Just wait'll they see my currently completely-repaired format... I'm better than ever.
In the middle of this all, I ended up breaking off to go help Katie Lombard once more. She needed to take her test for school, and Hippie--evidently he had a laptop or a webphone?--wasn't available for the help, so like our usual, we were the first on board to lend a hand. Matt and I both had laptops and brought them, as I always do when I can to Metrocon visits, and so I took her on up to the room and set up the lappy-toppy so she could have a spin without issue, and nothing getting in her way. Then I went back, helped with the last few things, and we were... Done! Done sooner than we ever were in the past. So it was time to party! ...Unfortunately, I was expecting a pool party like last time, and that's not how it cooked up. This was going to be like classic parties from back in the day, in a room. ...Not that it was a bad thing, considering the night-manager utterly loathed our very existence.
Unfortunately, even at our best, we were a little noisy for a small bedroom, and there was a lot of staff. This was becoming an issue, so me and... I think it was Sherman? Came up with the idea to use the ballroom. After all, I doubted our contract had entirely expired on it, and Rudy and Cris *really* liked that idea. I immediately went to ask about the feasibility--after all, those rooms are *made* for noise, and for a large crowd. When I got to the front desk, I was worried... Again, the usual night manager was a very Christian/Catholic thinking girl that didn't like cussing, girls in mini-skirts or leather, children out after 7pm, or any general fun whatsoever. ...But thankfully, it was the day manager! The guy who went to High School with Liz and Vic, and knew we were good people through them, and had done everything he could to be a hand.
Our time with the ballroom was indeed up, but just outside the ballroom was a mini-room... Which was lot small at all, and just right for our size, with double-doors that closed us in and everything. With permission from him, and the assistance of our new good friend Gene the Security Officer, we moved our entire operations downstairs, on a set of tables we dragged in from poolside right outside the doors, and Q setting up the mini-bar of drinks he always did. Fun and games were had by all, with lots of playing around, chasing, card games, dance moves... Likewise, the Octanium claimed a table of their own, and we were right at home among them. Most of the evening was me, Mitch, James, Frankie, Black Kyo, Matt, and honorary member Iris, and even our buddy Brandon who we'd been trying to hang out with and drink with every single night since we got here!!
The entire night was a blast, with very few exceptions. It was one of the greatest nights of our time, in my opinion, and I very much look forward to doing it again.
~Day Four: STILL Lorne-Fabulous!~
We partied hard 'til the wee hours, as expected. When all our good friends were on their way, so were we. It was a full house again tonight, 'cuz replacing Katie Lombard as our special guest for the final day was our good friend James Wood, who wanted to be able to sleep without rushing out the door on Sunday, and leave on Monday instead! And who could blame him? It is why we *always* get Sunday night as well, so we can work and play without any worries of that evening's festivities. When we all woke up, we got our things and huddled out. ...It was empty, and weird. Life had returned to normal, the kind of normal Gene and the staff were used to, and they all seemed at ease. I told them they weren't prepared!! If any of them are around next year, they'll be more prepared!
We said our Goodbyes to what few we saw, and helped out where we could with any last-minute packings... But for the most part, it was just casually waiting until it was time to pick us up from the Crowne Plaza and return us to the Tampa Airport. Most of it was spent loitering around with some'a the Octanium and James Wood, eatin'. We told Matt that we didn't want to have the same capacity of people the next time around, for some reason he was ill-equipped to be able to stop his mother from insisting as I understand it, so we were once again crammed into this tiny, tiny car... Again, it's not like I didn't enjoy seeing Robin, and saying our goodbyes! It really was! But Good Lord, we prolly would'a grabbed a shuttle instead like last time with Jon if we knew, and he'd told us, they were going to do it anyway. When all was said in done, we said our goodbyes to Mitch and Matt and Jack and Robin. ...It was time.
Me and James spent the flight back without too many issues. The biggest one is we never got paid from ol' Drewbie Maben, something we talked about in length with one another... I don't think anyone was happy, not even the people who brought him. A lot of his time was spent flirting with his girl or having fun or using the money he had to buy them both food, so whatever, I overdrew my bank account and made it work, since I certainly wasn't going to ask any of the others to help split the fallout. With everything said and done, we got back home, and returned back to life as normal... Which for me? Was a lot of healing, and a lot of doctor visits, and a lot of just trying to be as fit as possible in such a downtime, as well as constantly trying to get a new job, filling out applications and attending various interviews. So much time, that I'd neglected to write in this!... Until some of it was cleared by my clean bill of health.
And I never removed the nail-polish. For the next month, I was *still* Lorne-fabulous.
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
PS: I'd like to personally thank Cris Colina, Rudy Gomez, Victoria Woodard, Adrianna Cornett and their whole staff and team for giving us another reason to come out there. Back in 2006, me and Nick had what we called Metrocon 4.5, a Metrocon that took place in the fall officially known as "Metrocon: Amano's World," which is where we met Adrianna even, and it was one of the funnest out there. It was for the dedicated, so it was smaller and even more family-feeling than Metrocon... Which is hard! And I think it was achieved again with this fall-based Metrocon-inspired event. It fits right in the spirit of it all, and I'm glad we have .5s back... With a name of it's own! I can't wait to come back next time, and I look forward to being as much of a helping hand as I can to see it through. You guys are awesome.
PPS: Isa kicks ass.
current mood:  accomplished
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| Thursday, November 4th, 2010
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4:04 am - ~What's Next.~
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So, here's the real update you've been waiting for. ...If you were waiting. Possibly you weren't waiting? ...Yeah, well, whatever! So, here we are. The last you heard (outside of the posts about Metrocon themselves), we'd recently moved into these new digs. ...Well that was June, and we're in November, five months later. A string of things went by that more or less took away a lot of time. Not necessarily things that were difficult, just time-consuming. Some things have gone very downhill, and others have come back up... Opportunities seized that I was beginning to think would *never* come around. Between politics and well... Politics! Let's go down the various stories that will bring you up to speed:
~PetSmart~
The biggest problem we got was around the June-era was that PetSmart decided to freeze my unemployment by making some noise. I wasn't even aware what was going on with it all at first, because during my move, some weeks were just missed in the back-and-forth, but when the money stopped, it got worrisome. Their claim was that they didn't fire me for going to jury duty (which was bullshit), but that they fired me for being written up three times; the packet came in much later with the dates to come in and contest it if I wanted to. An investigation was going to go happen, and I honestly wasn't sure how it was going to turn out... Not because I wondered if I was wrong, but because corporations have experience with this sort of thing. ...But that's not how it happened at all!
Starting in September, the case was lost, and I won. Their claim that I got written up three times was, in a manner, accurate...silly reasons, all. For instance, I was written up for being fifteen minutes late from being pulled over by a cop. It was 3am, walking to work, with a coat, lookin' scary like me. Happens all the time! They even told me to tell them to call them if they thought it needed to be verified. ...Did PetSmart call? Don't think they cared, fifteen minutes was fifteen minutes. However..? These write-ups took place *well* before the day I got fired. The fact that they fired me right after I had jury duty, and the fact that (thanks to James' ideas) I had date-and-time notepad information, blow for blow, of everything said and done between us since the matter begin turned into them, pretty much meant I was gonna win. And they dropped the case at the last second, continuing my claim.
Unfortunately, in the meantime, this meant it froze up a lot of my ability to do... Well, anything. Responsibilities went down the tube, and that kinda made me feel bad. Not being able to contribute, not being able to pay any kind of way, much less all my way. I'm sorry to anyone that's effected, what bit I could save up went towards Metrocon's bit... Or the surgery. A surgery I was told would prolly cost me anywhere from $10 to $600. ...But more on that later! The point is, now that I'm back on track, it's payin' what I can to make the difference. ...And it's all about getting a new job next. I've hit a few places, had a few close calls... Game Stop, Euphnet, 8x8. Jobs I thought I'd be good for, most definitely, and jobs I'd nearly gotten into, if not for some damn thing getting in the way... Some I don't even know, such as Euphnet! And some silly, like the fact that I'm Zeke's friend? They don't want me. Someone off the street! Pfui, I said, but things'll work out. I have confidence.
~Passing The Torch~
Since moving here, we've had several guests! June 1st, we moved in our old friend Jamie. She was basically having serious man-troubles. She was willing to leave her own home to get things repaired in her life, and the streets were not an option, as far as we were concerned. So, we figured she ought'a stay with us while she gets back on her feet! She needed her own place again, to get away from the bad and start fresh... This meant finding a new job, 'cuz her current one seemed about to go under, and new digs. At first, like the first week and a half, everyone was very excited. Moved in some things, set up the kitchen thus-so, good energy... But then, I think it wasn't expected how life was going to be sleeping at our place. We didn't have any furniture, since abandoning it all in our last move (we didn't want bed bugs again, mind)... So there wasn't anything but floor to sleep on.
Me and Jim didn't mind it so much (at least, not enough to go back to a situation we didn't want to), but the combination of this, our lack of air conditioner, or some of the passing cars next to our apartments making some small noise, she kept going back to the place she was trying to get away with. All that convenience haha. All the same, we tried to make the best of things; watched shows, got a couch, and the like, and she eventually got her own place in the end. ...And got back with the guy that'd she'd been trying to leave 'cuz he was a jerk. I'll never understand that... But, *right* after her leave, we then got another house guest; the switch-off was near perfect timing, July 1st, with our old pal Brian Randall bein' kicked from Wally's spot so he could help his brother-in-law. Brian asked if we could help, and we said we could let him crash at our pad for a few weeks, no problem... But we couldn't go too much farther than that, as there is an obligation with Janae (our apartment manager) in our lease contract that we only keep our house guests, at the most, for two months. And we like Janae! Jamie was one month, so... It was passing the torch.
This worked out well, I thought. Brian wanted to move in furniture into the place, and we were ok with that; far as I figured, he wanted to put his stuff in a place without paying even more cash to storage, while at the same time having it useful and used during his time searching for a job and getting new digs to stay in. Most of our time had been a lot of fun there, often playing Civilization IV all night and well into the morning, conquering the nations that weren't ours... Brian often played India, James took on Russia... I think? And I was Greek, although I used Tokugawa as my leader-man. 'Cuz, come on... No Leonidas I? Flummery! Often this would end with me churning out dozens of Spartans (read: Phalanx, Greek's specialty) 'til the modern age, when I would switch to churning out tons of Tanks and Mobile Weaponries, Brian bustin' out religions and super-workers (India's specialty), and James concentrating focus on major technological improvements (Jim's specialty). Between that, kicking up Eureka and Castle and other badass shows, and beatin' down various video games, we kept ourselves plenty busy.
This was also around the time I hit the Metrocon, and had a blast there, as well as James hitting his own personal vacation to New York to see his family. I'm pretty sure I made a couple'a Sacramento visits in here as well. Eventually, however, we came upon September. It was nigh September 1st, when we had to ask Brian to depart... Two months time, and while technically Brian was our guest for two months, someone could even say we had "a guest" in there for three months. So, he headed back to his mom's, unfortunately, and I hope he gets back on his feet soon... It's hard to do in this day and age, man. What's it, there's one job for every five people, something like that? Might'a gotten worse, I hear it has. That's what ended up taking up a lot of my time, tossing in applications using the Internet as much as I can, or hitting the job fairs, or showin' Nagel various shows and movies as well during his unemployment hahaha. The one other thing that took up a lot of time, however..?..was surgery, or the option of it. That's what September brought down!
~Back Surgery~
I've needed back surgery for a while now. I might'a mentioned it to a few people before, but for the most part, no one really knew about it, and I didn't carry myself in a way that showed I had it unless you really knew me. I had a wound on my back that had gotten infected, and hydrogen peroxide and prayers weren't fixing it. One of the many reasons I went back to Sacramento when I did (among many) was the chance to hit the college again, not only to make a difference in my life, but also to be able to get back on my mom's insurance plan with Kaiser and be able to get the surgery done. Unfortunately, that surgery didn't work. Kaiser decided to do a local surgery--where I'm awake and they stick me with local anastesia--and they cut in, removed some flesh, burned the rest, but it wasn't a big hole, and I don't think they went beyond the skin layer. I remember telling Dustin, I was so excited to finally be fixed, that when the packing was done I'd be done! But I didn't have enough follow-ups in my time before my semester of college was over. No college at the time? No insurance, and it was eventually revealed to me that this surgery didn't stop it, just gave it a minor reprieve.
When we got stable enough to do anything (read: moved from Monroe), James--who was one'a the few that knew anything--decided I needed to have this checked out. I told him I didn't have insurance, that I didn't have the money to pay for a surgery, or the rampant hospital visits, but she wouldn't hear of it. I could pay him back, he had the money, we were a "Go". So, we eventually went down to the El Camino Medical Foundation. I'd been here before, they took a look at my damages after the Great Samoan Debacle of 2006, but this was a different building. The thing I hate most about hospitals is that they never take your word for it... And they don't communicate well with one-another. I called to say I needed surgery, and they said they needed proof. Why not call Kaiser? No, have me come in and talk to a doctor. Pay a hundred bucks for someone to go, "Damn, you was right!" and send you on your way. ...But that's exactly what I did, and these things were done around the time I was working for PetSmart--at the very end of it all. When the girl recommended me to surgery, this was at the Palo Alto Medical; the place Aaron (Cuene) did his schooling at. We go in, annnnd...they said it'd cost at least $6,000 for the first surgery.
When we said we were game (after a few repeat visits with the help of Chris Steinwinder), we were more or less declined. Like, we weren't flat-out told "No," but we were constantly deflected to "Go get insurance." They weren't really budging, behind those smiles. I was crap out of luck, I thought. Then through unexpected situations, both Zeke and Chris Steinwinder get to telling me about this great program Santa Clara County has called the APD Program. It's essentially insurance for the poor, kept specifically to their hospitals and no one else. This meant the whole process had to be done again--more doctor visits, more waiting, but this time it was the real deal. They said it'd cost me anywhere between $10 and $600 for my co-payment, and I was definitely going to get help. My doctor, Dr. Cahill, was absolutely certain I'd need the surgery (once I got to him), but his big concern was when. I think it was... End of May? When we made the initial appointment with Cahill? For the end of August. Then, we can start the working up to the actual surgery in question. I was gonna get fixed up! In the meantime, we were moving house and home, and I got several more injuries, very Kevin Nash style. No one believed me! Hahaha.
After all the stuff was said and done, I was finally off to surgery. September 3rd was our initial surgery date, so I showed up to do exactly this at, I think...9am? And we waited until 3pm, just... Sitting there. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink 24 hours beforehand, and they kept showing these commercials of food in the waiting room. It was cruelty, haha! During the lunch time, everyone had gone; we were the only person around as near as our eyes could see. But then people came back around, and by 3pm, we were told... Sorry, there were too many surgeries today, come back some other time. Now... Someone, I think Jesse, commented to me that this is why we shouldn't have public health care, because people'd get sent home or have to wait like this. But see, my rebuttal? Even if it took a month to reschedule, I'd get this surgery at all... And like I said, that was something I had been seriously doubting I'd ever get. Fortunately for me, it wasn't a month--it was a week, and the actual surgery date was September 10th.
The second time around, I was top of the list. We went in, and they took me off; the absolute most awkward part is the gowns they put you in. Couldn't they think of something better for the naked man?... Howsabout breakaway pants? They got the snap-buttons on the side of the leg, just pull and they all come right off. THAT makes sense to me. Not these goofy little tie-strings that don't quite work right, and are basically a kilt! I eventually got everything up, but it was all embarrassing to be that way. Thankfully, I didn't have long to think about it... As they took me away, James went his own, and I found myself in the room with the anathesiologist talking about things that largely didn't matter... Just various questions about how it'd all feel, actually being put to sleep and then waking up later on. The dangers of it, the lack of them, and then suddenly... I was awake, and the operation was completely over with, and I was somewhere completely different than I had been. I didn't even get to see Cahill come in and do the operation!
The operation was to cut beyond the skin layer... To cut out absolutely any part of the infection and surrounding area, and leave it open. Once it was done, I'd be sent off on my way back home... At least, that's what everyone told me but Cahill. The first (and so far the only) time I'd ever seen Cahill (making the appointment), he was certain I'd have to stay over. ...And it seems he felt this way after the surgery, because despite what the hospital world told me, I was forced to stay over for a couple of days in the hospital ... THIS shit, sucked. I was SO bored. This thing wouldn't even connect to AOL, when I fought to get Internet in the damn place hahah. I mostly communicated through Facebook chat. I remember things never really hurt, even after the drugs they used in the surgery wore off, but that the drugs themselves gave me sleep apnea; I couldn't sleep. Everytime I tried, I'd sorta wake up choking 'cuz I'd forget to breathe... But not enough to wake up to stop myself. It was all bad. Christ snuck me in some burgers ('cuz seriously, hospital food?) late at night, and my room mate during my stay was straaaange. Eventually, you run outta things you can do on the 'net, and I was bored to tears by the end of the next day hahah!
When I was checked out, me and James got a surprise visit from #2 and Bobby while waiting for the paperwork to clear. THAT was awesome. We spent the day bullshitting and talking about my wound, which was the size of a BASEBALL. Bigger, even, with the corners, and as deep. #2 called it a civil war wound haha. It was constantly being fussed over by the nurses, the draining needed to be changed a lot, and it wasn't sewn shut, like I said... It just was. But I was doing pull-ups and walking around on the first day staying over, so they were all impressed with that, and when I got to go home, the four of us got to go get the landslide of medical supplies; I was to change my wound dressings by myself at the home for the next however-many weeks it took while it healed. In the meantime, we hit the Mongolian BBQ to celebrate, and had us a good time, before Brian Peterson helped me get the last of the supplies... Why? AFTER the surgery, they took me OFF the APD program 'til I proved I was as poor as I said I was! Whatta bun'cha shit! Hahah.
We got that mess cleared up about a week later; they claimed later it wasn't that I was completely removed, just that the in-patient APD Program is different than the out-patient APD program, and I had to sign up for the in-patient when I was made to stay over. ...But why would that effect my ability to get supplies? And it did. But now, everything was gold. Changing my own bandages was weird and difficult, although not like it had been with Kaiser; this was a fully-open hole, no stitches, no skinlayer. The idea was to pack it full of gauze, and then put the bandage-packing over it, and tape it up. When I woke up after the very first day, I flipped out some 'cuz they say to watch out for fevers, that it's a sign of infection... And I had one. I thought, "Damn it I already fucked this up! I can't do this!" and signed up for the wound-care clinic right then at the Valley Medical so they could do it instead. ...Only, they didn't operate on weekends. But James pretty much called me a pansy for flipping out, and so... I just changed my own anyway. No infection was there whatsoever.
By the time my wound-care appointment came up, (later that week), I'd gotten along fine with my wound changes. The nurses that told me how to do it didn't do a great job at telling me how to clean it, but Google helped with that! These guys were tremendous, and I'm glad I did set up the appointment with them... They were physical therapists that specialized in wounds like this, same APD program. I don't go every day, but I did every week, and considering I saw Cahill's staff every two weeks to check on my wound... It was like having two different expertise look at the same damage. Two heads were better than one, and they made sure--weekly--that I was coming along ok, and there were no complications. They also made some changes, that the surgical office approved of later. Originally, I was to change my gauze twice a day; I did it at 12pm and 12am, every noon and midnight going up for a new shower, a new set of dressings. The wound clinic, though, they changed my gauze to AMD... Antimicrobial gauze. THIS meant I only had to change it once every 24 hours instead!
The funnier thing about this whole thing was the quirks. You spoke to different doctors and nurses damn near every visit, either at Cahill's or Wound Clinic... And they'd all have a little something different to add, some new step. The other funny thing was the different kinds of tape you used to make the bandage, well, a bandage! The original nurses that had me in the hospital gave me this plastic-type tape that I liked a whole lot. When you get out of the shower, you're pretty much a little wet, even after you dry off; condensation alone does this. It sticks, despite that. On the other hand? It itched to high Hell after using it a ton. The Wound Clinic got me this... Cloth stuff, which broke away in already-knit strips and didn't irritate anything, but on the other side it didn't stick at all. The third brand I ended up getting stuck with (the one now!) sticks a little bit better, it's more paper-based, but it doesn't tear away at all unlike the other two; gotta cut it. So, there are ups and downs... Always found that interesting. I kinda want the plastic tape back! Hahah.
By now, the hole has been reduced from the size of a full-fledged baseball to about the size of a fifty-cent piece. The doctors say I'm healing extremely well (one called it "scary") and I'm two weeks ahead of schedule, absolutely no infection, extremely clean. I also never took any of the pain medications they gave me, something Cahill thought was "a miracle" hahaha...I dunno, never needed that stuff. At it's absolute worst, the first two days or so, I just took two advil and a beer... Something they all got a kick out of. I should be done with the whole process any time now, and I *just* got put onto a third kind of gauze that's both antimicrobial and intended to force everything to be even as it heals in this final stretch, so... I'm very excited. It's tremendous to be able to sit on something like a chair, and feel no pain. The only downside? This new flesh is undeveloped, and the lower-back supports your weight and movement around when you stand and move. I used to be able to walk from Monroe to Westgate Mall (who remembers that??) without pause. Now, I can barely make it to 7-11 and back without a fuckin' break hahaha.
Guess this flesh needs to develop from carrying babies to carrying Walkers. Give it time! Can't wait to hit the gym! Something I've been wanting to do for years.
~End Result!~
Now we're sitting here in an airport waiting for the plane to get here. Specifically, we're in Houston, Texas on stopover heading out BACK to Florida again! This time, James is with me, and we're going to first-ever ShadoCon that I mentioned in the last post! We spent the day doing our voting, which was kind of a runaround since they never mailed us anything and our original district had been turned into a "mail-only" district... But, we got to fill everything out after making some noise anyway. I'm just glad Carly didn't make it out. This convention? It's gonna be off the Goddamn off the hook, I can feel it; Metrocon only got our relaxed-meter half-way full this year, and I'm seeing that that was no mistake... So we could relax the other bit here! The room-status is as followed: It's gonna be me, Mitch Mitchums, Matthew Darnell, and this time including James (Erickson), Frankie, and Black Kyo! If you're at ShadoCon, I insist you meet up with us! We're gonna be working for Rudy in the Final Fantasy Ball, and of course Fax again with James (Kaufman).
Look for us there! I guess it's about time we headed out now, but THOSE were the updates... Those were the things that took up all of my time. A lot of it is constant doctor visits, or sleeping a crap-ton for the healing factor, things like that. But I'm hoping to hit the ground running when I get back; more job searching, gym membership and getting into shape, all that stuff I've always wanted to really do. Making money, finally, and making headway... Paying back debts! Yoush! Gonna head on down to Sacramento sometime soon, too... To get my stuff back from that accursed garage, sit my little brother Stephen straight on any shenanigans he may have adopted and help him with his future, and definitely see Sarah Bronson in her visit from Austin, Texas! Check out my next post for the great epic tale of ShadoCon and how it goes down, which THIS time I swear won't take months to publish; I got a desk, and the doctors visits are officially two weeks out now, and things are under control... I even get to sleep in my own room! Hahaha.
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
current mood:  excited
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 19th, 2010
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2:14 pm - ~Metrocon VIII.~
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Well, ladies and gentlemen... Here it is. VERY late, obviously! I meant to write this right after I got done with the convention (as I usually do), but things came up. A lot of things. Things that rocked us from a normal Walker day in the life to months of uncertain-money-expenditures and real chances to make some positive changes in the life... And writing kinda just took a back seat. That, and I didn't have a desk this time around... Having a writing surface that isn't a couch really does change your ability to just put a lot into a long writing process for me. But! These stories take away from the grandness that was Metrocon VIII, so I will absolutely be covering them all in the NEXT journal entry, and not THIS one... As THIS entry will be fleshing out July 23rd - July 25th, 2010 and the days surrounding the experience. And what a time it ended up being...
I remember, I sat here in the airport, and I eagerly awaited hitting Florida. I remember thinking to myself that we'd just made it, as usual--despite complications. EVERY year, has it's complications... Sometimes for the best! And sometimes, not so much. A change in roster is the first thing of note. Instead of me and Jim meeting up with #2 and Kurt and all of us heading to FL from the CA to room with Matt and Mitch... James dropped out, as has Kurtis and #2. Even Nick, who until now had never missed a single Metrocon alongside me and was gonna potentially guest-star in the room, didn't make it this time. Jon, on the other hand? Definitely ended up coming from ol' Sacramento, as well as getting two others-Mike and his girlfriend, Jessica Warner! Who were abandoned by their previous room attenders, and needed a new stay. I remember Fax once asking why I tried to get six people available for the Tech Crew aspect of things. ...This is why. No matter how many you invite, they don't make it. Unfortunately for us? The complications absolutely didn't end this year.
~PROLOGUE.~
The plane ride was a little quiet. I had spent the last several trips to Metrocon alongside someone else; Me and Jake, or me and Kurtis, or me and Matt. This time, it was back to the solo, which is fine. I had a fun drive to the place with James, who was very sorry he couldn't make it still, and then headed in with little problems. With the laptop, I could pretty much keep myself busy. I'd call in periodically to Mitch and Matt, or check in with Jon, whenever I could to ensure they were still all ready to go, and to give them updates, or just to randomly poke fun. Unfortunately, the fun stopped quick. With Old Spice's new campaign ads, it's custom for us to mention something about Old Spice multiple selves--and this time, I told Matt to look at himself, and make sure that he smelled like The Man Your Man Could Smell Like. ...Unfortunately, he was getting this text after he fell down a flight of stone stairs. A similar text by Mitch had him responding to me, "No but we have a problem. Matt just broke his leg!"
At first? I didn't believe it.
It wasn't because I didn't want Matt to have a broken leg, although that's obvious too, but more that it was just too damn unlikely. Here we are--very last second, suddenly, right before Metrocon, our ride to Tampa (not to mention my ride from the airport) suddenly up and breaks his leg somehow? Matt's not a fight champ, he tends to play World of Warcraft or Final Fantasy XI or some other MMO. That, and we'd been poking fun and playing tricks the whole way up to Metrocon, as we all tend to do all the time. I'm sure I dropped multiple "I can't make it" scenarios to these guys just to see them flip out. It was deserving revenge! So I was like, "Yeah ok Mitch, see you two here in a few." As I had almost landed in Sarasota. ...But no. "No, really!"... Oh shit. I call Matt, and surely his mom answers (HI ROBIN :D) and tells me, sure enough Matt was excited--even after Mitch told him to calm down 'lest he hurts himself, and the paint on the stairs is an oil-based paint. The kind you paint your house walls with to keep rain sliding off.
This kind of paint's not meant for stairs. Not only does it negate traction, it makes things worse.
So naturally, and as to be expected, it's raining and Matt's slightly excited and shit's slippery. Boom. He falls down, one after another, and breaks his leg three times, with the fourth being a fracture. By the time he lands, he's belly-first, his mom's running back over to him, his leg is in the air and his foot is turned around in the air 180 degrees. I think, the way the doctors described it, the only thing holding his foot to the rest of his leg is the skin, as the actual bones have more or less severed it now. ...And man, it was bad. He was so excited to be hanging out, to be giving a hand at the Metrocon, to bein' one'a the boys in a world that's exciting, and then this shit. ...Well, we had to go see him right away, if nothing else than to offer condolences. So, Mitch's dad--Mr. Steve Patmagrian, who is an incredible guy and if you ever get the chance to meet him, you absolutely should!--picks me up with Mitch, and we all drive down to meet Matt's parents at the hospital and check in on Matt.
Once we get there, the doctors are busy with him, so it's a lot of waiting around before we can. Matt's mom can go in, but that's about it. So we shoot the shit some until I get the idea that we should all eat. We walk around, and this hospital mind you is right across the street from the house I was living in when I was living with Matt. So, this is all familiar territory, brings back some memories--made me wish I could walk it a bit more. But instead, we decided to hit the Firehouse subs. THIS place...is excellent. Here in Cali, Togo's is my favorite out of the big three (the other two being Subway and Quiznos), but if Firehouse were around these parts? It'd be all about Firehouse. Firehouse is like any play that makes a sub and heats it up, but this place concentrates on the spicy. Among their selections is a huge counter-top full of a vast array of different spicy sauces, ranging in all kinds of flavors and heat ranges. I was sad I couldn't try them all. ...Someday!
I picked out my few, made a mix, bullshitted and planned with Mitch, and then headed back to give everyone else their food. When we got there, we were able to go see Matt--or rather, I just walked in and there Matt was without doctors swarming him, and I called in Mitch. We talked with him, caught up, tried our best not to laugh at the situation and laughed anyway. And we all had a good time. The unpleasant part of it was when Matt had to be taken back to the car! They didn't have a wheelchair for him, and he never did quite understand how to use those crutches very well. Thankfully, Mitch's dad had an old wheelchair about and was able to lend it to Matt for the duration of the recovery. Still, Matt was living and overseeing Pam's house, and that meant getting up the three little flights of steps into the home. Unfortunately, I was a little lost on what to do...I helped where I could, but I'm very tall, so it doesn't work well to sling around my shoulder, and it didn't do that I'm not the most soft stepper there ever was. All the same, we eventually got it done!
Well, now Mitch and I decided to stay with Matt, to attend to his needs.
The next two days in Florida went about as well as you'd expect--it was pretty much more of the same. Me, Mitch and Matt sittin' around, grumbling over our string of bad luck. Due to things, our planned event at the local Denny's went to Hell, and we never got them back on board. Hell, this even brought up drama from another situation entirely (something I'll get to in some other journal entry), and that was about the most interesting thing that happened the whole day. That, and taking a shower and somehow causing the water to break through the ceiling from the upstairs, but that's neither here nor there... Anyhow. We were *supposed* to start packin' up the truck, getting all of the supplies on board at a leisurely pace the next two days, but that never happened either. Fax said he was just too busy, and still had to run back up to Tampa to get some things. So, we just watched 300 instead.
The next day, it started out a lot like Monday... Very uneventful, mostly sitting around and taking care of Matt, until we finally got ahold of Fax and he had us come down to actually help out. Only... The time he wanted us to come down was at 6pm, which was awfully last minute comparatively to what our hopes were. What we expected was for things to be very simple this time--I mean, we got it down by now, right? Unfortunately, things did not at all go as planned. Through this night, things continued to spiral into Hell. What was worse was, Fax wanted us to go home immediately after we finished...which didn't make much sense, 'cuz our wheel-man had a broken leg and Fax had offered us a drive to Tampa in the early-AM anyway. Made sense to stay over. ...But oh well.
When we got there, there was Fax, some other dude, Donny, and James (Kaufman). Me and Mitch didn't have any of the people we were plannin' for... No #2, no Kurtis, no James, no Matt. Usually we have a decent collection of people, but this time is was mostly the two of us--it's not like James and Donny weren't a helping hand when they could, but they pretty much had plenty of things they needed to get done for themselves. What was worse, though, was that Fax said he had to go--evidently, he had a gig at Applebee's that'd take him into the early AM, and he expected we'd be done by then. He just kinda took off, as did the other guy that was there. So there was me and Mitch kinda staring, with our little sleep 'cuz of takin' care'a Mattsauce. But, with James and Donny's directions, we were able to get it mostly figured out.
About half-way through, a girl showed up named Arianna--definitely cool people, I'd never met her before. Everyone looked like ragged around then, even Arianna, so I figured everyone needed food. A quick (by that, I mean not-so-quick) verbal lightsaber battle with the Pizza Hut and an Old Spice advertisement for their time as they approach the door (HELLO~ PIZZA HUT.) and we get to eatin's and drinkin's of Pizza and Mountain Dew. Fax's gig ends up taking 'til like...4am? I wanna say? Something like that, and he comes back and tells us he didn't hafta go at all. By this point we'd done all we could do--but were still not done. So we tried to sleep, and kinda failed. Once Fax was there, we got fresh direction and finished it up. By the time we were done, was it 6am? It was early, that's all I know. We took an hour sleep (cut up by people switching out who took a shower) at Fax's place after all, and then we were off on the road to Metrocon.
~MITCHROCON v2.0~
Day One (Wednesday): Once we got there, me and Mitch were ready to go crawl to our hotel rooms and just start our unpacking and deep slumber. After all, we have two days to set up Metrocon, rather than the twelve hours we're usually stuck with. Considering all the shit we had to do without Fax there, I figured Fax would let us go catch it up. ...Unfortunately, Donny wants it over with ASAP, so he wants us to do it now. Now, I don't want to sound rude when I say that, but you have to understand the mindset I was in--Mitch and I had little sleep when we *got* there the night before. It's kinda traditional for Metrocon, but this time we had all this time and we were still bein' rushed up. I was kinda pissed. I also had to leave some stuff behind--we all did, and Fax had to go back for them, BACK to Sarasota. So, we set up all this crap, and I'm sitting here hoping I don't drop this equipment or fumble the ball like I'm prone to when tired and blah, blah, blah...
Just running on "mountain dew and hate", as the term was coined for this whole trip.
By the time it was done, we were allowed a small reprieve, before we were called for some more. We stumbled to The Embassy Suites, our second home we hadn't seen in a little more than a year's time. We checked in at the front with a very awesome lady, but once again were flagged with more issues. Evidently, The Embassy Suites had this new policy... Either they had to reserve a room a credit card and it couldn't at all be a debit card, or the bank account the debit card was being used with had to have all of the money in it. All of it. This, was absolutely ludicrous. For one, two of our people weren't here... Mike and Jon. Mitch had a fourth of it, I had a fourth of it... This was bullshit. I was absolutely at my boiling point. I didn't notice, but I was evidently dropping F-Bombs left and right. I didn't scream or anything, but I guess I was clearly frustrated.
We tried several different angles, but nothing was working. This was stupid. This is 2010; mechanically, there's no difference to the Debit Card and the Credit Card, except one is drawing from a place where the money already is, and we aren't supposed to pay until the end when we check out. So there is literally NO REASON for them to be doing this except to verify that we have a method of payment. They never did it before, never. In my experience, no one--no one--had a credit card that I knew. Not a soul. Unless you're trying to build credit, it's not a safe move, and everyone I know knows that; play with what you have, not what you don't, blah blah blah. Not even Fax or my mom could help haha, we were stuck. Then, outta nowhere...
Outta nowhere comes Alex. Alex is the new CEO (along with Nick Fazio), and he seems to have a great relationship with Mitch building up this last year. To be honest? I'd never worked with Alex directly, or even met him beyond a brief passings; when I dealt with any direction, it was with Fax, or it was with Roy who had the company before Alex did. And yet here was Alex, trying to check in, overhears our problem, and what does he do? He saves our collective asses, is what. He steps up, wants to put it on his card, and they try the same run-around--debit cards must have all the sums, sorry!--and he just puts it down for us. He pays for the room in full, and then tells us, "just give me the money back when you get it together, right?"
And... The dude was literally our unsung hero for the whole event and months after because of it. (mostly because we can't sing.) A BIG THANK YOU TO THIS GUY, it was one of the most generous things I'd ever seen other people do, and certainly the most generous anyone's done for me. We were happy.
Fax also came back with our stuff, which was nice...but I dunno *what* happened in the meantime. Fax had been gone all day going who-knows-where, and by the time he came back and I got my stuff back to the hotel, the suitcase--the contents inside of it which were all clothes--smelled like... Well, BAD haha. Like... Rotten bong water and cigarette smoke combined. Which made me D: 'cuz 'fore that, my suitcase and the clothes within had smelled like Tide Febreze Spring & Renewal! With some grumbling and washing at The Embassy Suites' washer and dryer, we were able to get things back on track. When we finally go down for real, we're done proper, and there's still no Mike with us.
Me and Mitch were absolutely exhausted, as we had been; we just didn't get good sleep, and we were about dead. I don't remember if this was on this day or the day after, but we stumble to our elevators and we're SO ready to just sleep away absolutely everything... We're done, we're fucking done, we're SO done it's absolutely not even funny and we--wait, was that booze? Mitch spotted it first, looking over the ledge. You can totally see the lobby from our second-floor vantage point waiting for those elevators, and sure enough as I look with him, there are people... Milling about with cups of alcohol in the rest-area. And Mitch goes, "Walker, didn't... They say something to us at the front counter about free alcohol from 5pm to 7pm?" And we look down at our clocks, which say 5:30pm.
...And then, as one mind, we *completely* throw aside our absurd amount of exhaustion and rush down the stairs. We booze it up, and we feel all that stress and hate *finally* give way to joy, and it looks like Metrocon might just work out after all!
Day Two (Thursday): The next day was more of the same, except add Mike into the mix as far as our hotel room goes--in fact, add a LOT of people! The majority of it was spent either setting up Ballroom A (AKA MitchroCon) or meeting old friends and meeting new friends. We saw Iris, Katie, and Mike the most prolly, outside of the tech crew of Fax, James, and Jamus, and assured Iris that we were in full Iris-support mode; she had some four shows she was doing, I think? And we intended to try and be there for all of them assuming nothing stop us from them. Anime Idol, the Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog play, the Maid Café bit, and then the K-Pop dancing and singing she had had going with Isa, Casey, Beth, Anne... Some folk I didn't recognize. She'll even be in the Masquerade briefly. She was nervous about all of these to some degree, so were like, hey? We'll be there and stuff. As well as the other shows that'll be big with our friends!
Like the previous days, most everything was fraught with nonsense and peril. We literally had components missing entirely forgotten again in Sarasota and missing all throughout the day. We had batteries going missing, we had torrential miscommunications between our higher-ups that ended in them screaming at each other, we had fire alarms and the late deliveries on everything causing whole rehearsals to be interrupted and... It was just bleery, nothing was going right, and everyone was upset. It seemed like there were whole sections of Metrocon that literally had no idea what we were doing, and that just didn't come off with the professional high-ground we wanted after all these years. Then, suddenly, the day finally, finally ends! Maybe booze-o'-clock happened here, but we surely got Mike moved in, and that evening we were joined by Jon from his flight in Sacramento.
Day Three (Friday): THIS day was when the fun really started kicking in! Mike and Mitch got up before me and Jessica ever did, but we all manage down there. Things are tinkered with, and then shows must go on. We had opening ceremonies, we had Anime Idol, we had--suddenly! While we're guarding the doors and just hanging out, me and Mitch get a random text from Fran... "Hey there" or something to that effect. I'm... Pretty confused by this point. First off? Fran never, ever, texts me, or IMs me, or Facebook-anythings me first. It's not that she's a bad friend, far from it, she just lives a very busy life and doesn't remember to keep in touch with people; we all have things we aren't great at. But here she is, after I responded "How are you?" saying, "Fine. Where are you?" I start manually entering in "At Metrocon", but it dawns on me that she obviously knows this... It dawns on me that...
And I say it, "Guys? I think... Fran is *here*." And Mitch is like, "What?? Let's find out!" And thus, a Fran-chant began, and with it, she popped out of nowhere right in front of us! WOW, I didn't expect that. The whole time I talked to her, she said she wasn't going to be able to make it... How, she was moving out of Florida, how Tampa and Sarasota were a gone thing, new family in South Carolina. I ragged on her a lot, but I never expected her to actually show! And she completely blows me out of the water by doing so, and it is just *amazing*. With her are her friends, Keifer and Ford, we hit the lines first and got everyone badges, and then we proceeded around the convention. I tried to visit every place that I could to introduce them to cool people that I knew, and a lot of it was checking out shows the Mitch-ran Ballroom A already had on, but we also hit other things as well.
This is where we got to see the Metrocon Star Party for this year! It was pretty fantastic, and it made me laugh, even if I'd seen some of the skit from rehearsals. Unfortunately, they only did it this one day, and it wasn't the Star Party it had been the year before; not only was Mike not running this show for some extremely silly reason that I can't even comprehend, but it wasn't an interactive experience like it had been the previous years! I'm not sure if it's anything like what Amanda does similar at her Supercon or whichever she does, maybe they don't do games with their crew, but for some reason the whole crowd-interaction thing was taken away... And this absolutely left no room for things to take too long or go awry so that the last day was completely ad-libbed... So I mean, it wouldn't be as good in my opinion because of these, but it was still a blast and everyone did very well!
Performing there was Frankie and James Wood, naturally, as well as Logan and Kurt, and Madison, and Liz joined the cast this time, and Katie was one of the many girls being made fun of...a whole slew of new people I got to meet! Such as Kevin, and Stephanie, and Katie Lombard, and Culver, and Matt Elliot, and Flor and Hippie; all these very cool cats, the next generation of Star Party (for me at least), and...while NOT interactive, it was still a damn good play with their several skits, funny jokes, and jumping into tune. Seriously, you guys had Zelda singin' The Guild's "Do You Wanna Date My Avatar" to Frankie and the gang dancing around, up to and including Frankie bustin' out into Hammerdance! You definitely will find it hard to beat that! And it was terrific to meet the new people, and just get to be apart of that show. Thanks, guys!
The biggest highlights aside were the lunch time, which we all had a blast I thought, up to and including the discussion of Evil Dead, and the other big highlight was the Masquerade, and we had a us a time just hanging out and running back and forth. A lot of the convention is just traveling and people-watching, it's like me and Mitch tell every new person; you don't get Metrocon 'til it's already started, and you're just standing there watching people during the convention. It's a lot of magic, and allows for bullshitting, meeting new and old faces, and that's exactly what a lot of us did. We also ended up going into the Dealer's Rooms a lot, walking around with Fran and letting her scope things out, and just enjoying the company of her and our new friends. We also hit the happy-hour with Iris, Katie, and Mike and all them, just having a few drinks and relaxing it up... This is what a vacation's all about, man, and this day is what turned my vacation around for the awesome.
Like I mentioned, we also went the Masquerade. It was me, Mitch, Fran, Summer, and Jon all to a table--the VIP table we always take, every year. I dunno what it is about that Masquerade, man...some years we don't even get there to understand the plot, and even in our spot at the VIP Tables (habit started from me and Nick at Metrocon 4.5), we often don't get to hear more than half the shit they're saying ever (just give them mics in their hands, fer God sakes! Works for wrestling!)... It still feels me up with a smile. I like people-watching there, you see a lot of people falling for the story, and their whole vibe is very much romantic and into it. There's an energy there, and I appreciate it from a distance. Plus? The company was good, and we all had a good time with it. It reminded me of when Brian Peterson had offered me to hit dancing classes a little before Metrocon, and I thought How would THAT be useful..? and then, suddenly, here was my answer. Haha!
After it was all said and done, we did the traditional trek to Walgreens as per traditions of Metrocons long before this, and ended things by saying goodbye to Fran and such. It was too bad to see 'em all go, especially Fran, 'cuz they spent only the one day with us, but it was more than fantastic and amazing that they showed up and were there. I'm hopin' all three of them show up next year! After it was all said and done, we retired back to our hotel. By now, it was me, Mitch, Mike, Jessica, Jon, and Summer. It took a little doing to rearrange everyone proper-like, I think Mitch preferred the floor over the chair-thingy I always end up in, and all agreed that Summer--being the girl--should take the couch, since Jessica and Mike took the bed in the next room over. It worked out well, and we got much-deserved Zs. This was the best Metrocon day in a long time.
Day Four (Saturday): Saturday was chock-full of just chillin'. It was a day largely projected by helping out Mitch or supporting Iris in her various roles, and this included going from the Ballroom A events to the various different parts of the convention housing Iris' performances. The first thing we attended was the ending of Ariel's wrestling show, which was pretty damn amazing! I was surprised to see it even occur this year (or any year!) because it wasn't really something to do with anime, or specific to Japan/Asia as a whole. Even though Japan has wrestling and they're huge with it over there, it's a tremendously different experience that it is over here in America with a total difference to the storylines and mannerisms, and this was absolutely more of an American production. But it was an awesome one, at that! Ariel had everything practiced out to a perfect effect, and both shows were amazing.
In the shows there were a few people I actually knew or got to know, too. Patrick did an America-Eye of the Tiger-type routine with You're The Best playing as his intro, and that worked really well. Richard provided amazing commentary and everything. Ariel, himself, is what really picked up the show the day before, and this time it was no different. He called his brother in from the military, I guess he was on leave or vacation or whatever it was, and they had a tremendous and dynamic match, and the storyline was fun and reminiscent of old wrestling times, and it looked like it'd continue on from this the next year (or the next time it's held, couldn't tell you which.) After it was over I got to shake everyone's hands, thank them for the show, and exchange some phone numbers. Had some great conversations and felt like I made a lot of good connections, so that was absolutely awesome. We did the Chess Match thing again as well.
The next event worth noting, in the linear respect, that I can recall was the Made Café. This was Iris' next major event that occurred, along with other people I knew like Casey, and Flor who I met at the Star Party, I think Anne and Lillian were there, and some new faces I got to meet such as Anna Binder, Tony Ho, and the man himself, Dash Felker! I was worried it wasn't going to hit off as big as it did, but it really went off well; so much so, they had me watching the front door for about 45 minutes before the event started due to the sheer number of people that gathered there to see it. I tried to entertain where possible by asking various questions to the crowd, ended in Old Spice commercials... Old Spice commercials being the brunt of a lot of jokes during this con thanks to Old Spice's 186 online questions and responses campaign, haha! Then they finally let the doors open, and in we went.
Dash ended up being the guy that took photos, along with Isa, for all of Metrocon on any sorta official level. We shot the shit for the whole event really, and just had a great time with it. One of the things that came up was the ability to get Jesse a job doing the camera work with these two, since Dash said he wanted a whole team. We've all wanted Jesse to come to Metrocon for years, so this was a good a reason as any, and I think her tremendous skills would be an excellent addition to any team that Dash decided to create! Between talking to Dash about the old Metrocons and ideas that never became and could be again some day, and texting Mitch about the madnness that broke out in the Ballroom A during the karaoke, it was a grand event. People would see the various skits, and between them do little various mini-games that interacted with the audience. ... It was very much the same thing behind Metro Star Party in the previous years, but without the Nintendo wacky theme, and more maid and love stories! Everyone was solid.
The next big event that I can remember was the K-Pop scene. Iris, Isa, Anne, Beth, Casey, and some cats I didn't know all formed a group called The Con Artists. I heard about this from Iris way before Metrocon started, and you might'a heard me promoting it a lot in places I'd go, because I was expecting tremendous Korean-based musical dance performances and I was NOT disappointed--these guys kicked utmost ass. It was held later in the evening, and kind of far out of the way, which I thought was too bad 'cuz it really deserved front-row stage presence... Because they had exactly that, presence. Tony Ho did a few numbers even in there, and Steve (Sorato-Steve) did the music presentation, so I mean--the whole group, really, they had an amazing presence and performance, and I sincerely suggest everyone goes down for the next one. If you go to Metrocon for nothing else, you won't leave Metrocon disappointed.
The last big event was the Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog that they did last year, a play version of the performance, and it was awesome. Sherman plays lead (alternating with James Wood for costume purposes), and Iris (once again) steps up to the role of the girl of the story Penny--and I think we can still all agree, like we did last year, that Iris is a way better Penny than Felicia Day (no offense to Miss Day.) Between Sherman's very defined performance all the way to Anne's singing Bad Horse riffs, it's a really good show, we loved it last time, and we loved it this time. It's actually how I got introduced to the whole thing, I didn't know of it before (which was an amazement to some of my friends who knew I was a big fan of Joss Whedon's work, and an especially big fan of Nathan Fillion), so it was really sweet to see that performance once again. It also rounded out the end of the day, with the only thing left to attend being The Rave that takes place 'til what... 3am?
The last thing I remember about the evening was the three of us joining Frankie on the top of the roof, watching him smoke a cigar and exchanging stories (which, Frankie was banned from telling anymore stories XD Hahah), and just us bullshitting, shooting the shit, and having a good time. Between Friday and Saturday, things were pretty damn epic and amazing and my outlook had definitely changed from what Mitch described me as "Walker you look homeless!..you look so disheveled!" (he didn't look much better) caused by the earlier days of surviving on Mountain Dew and hatred to the outlook I had now, which was... I was really sorry that there was only the one day left, and it was about to be all over. The only worry on us now was leaving Summer and Jon in the same room, 'cuz they kept hitting on each other and we were positive he'd sleep with her if we weren't careful XD
Day Five (Sunday): The last day was more or less quieter 'til it came time to close. We saw a few more performances, including the Chess Match again. A lot of our friends performed really well in it, but there's a few things I wasn't happy with... I really think they ought'a hire me and Mitch to write them a better storyline, or if nothing else, a better way to deliver it. I think I could really shake things up, 'cuz right now Metrocon very much advertises the Chess Match as the #1 reason a person should come to Metrocon, and it actually isn't! I'm not taking away from the badassery of Aerial's combat skills, or the cool match where Katie fought, or knocking anyone's performances really, but the plot and direction ... It needs a hand. Especially when you have Indiana Jones coming in at the last second and saving everyone. This is an ANIME convention, remember? I know they wanna move into a broader category, but never forget your roots or what the FANS are coming for.
After that and a few other things in Mitchrocon (AKA Ballroom A), we then began the long and tedious finality. The goal of taking down all the things we set up in Ballroom A, and then going upstairs to help take down the rest of the Main Ballroom with James and Jamus and whoever'd be up there to lend a hand. Only, this time? It wasn't like the other times! See, usually we're there by ourselves, and we're there all night long. Last year we got things done so much faster 'cuz everyone was focused, the cast was done and we could go, and Casey and Mike helped us out... Good stuff! But this year, we tore through that sumbitch so fast, we didn't even know what to do with ourselves. Can you imagine arriving at the after-Metro pool party ON TIME? Yeah, that was us. And we owe it all to the people that helped us.
Unlike when we were packing everything into the truck to take it down to Tampa, this time the cast party was there, and they just felt like giving us a hand. Amazing? Absolutely. Everyone picked up a box, and everyone just walked like a line of ants to Mitch and the truck and handed him something. They were available so fast, he didn't even know what to do. There was still some downtime and waiting over for the other truck and Fax's end, but we mostly knocked that shit out of the box, my bad back and all. It was exciting, and fun, and I'm very thankful to everyone for that whole operation. Really put a smile on our face, and really showed what Metrocon's kinda supposed to be all about; a family working together to bring something great. Sometimes, I think it loses it's way, loses it's shine, people start gettin' greedy or elitist (like sending actors home for being a little late!), but then things like this happen, and I bring it back into a smile.
The giant pool party was amazing, and everyone was there. The only downside about it, really, is someone at that hotel is clearly angry at us. Room shenanigans combined with the fact that their super-harsh alcohol Nazis patrolled the poolside ready to break the legs of any would-be man or woman with a beer really made me question what the fuck their problem was. Last year, we kept things very classy. Noisy? Absolutely, it's a party, an we were damn noisy without the official wet bar and badass drink-making expert next to the pool side, but there we had it anyway. So Fax and gang set up the bar in a room on the same floor as the pool, and while we got less due to it, we got some all the same. We also ordered a mountain slide of pizzas for everyone, and even Nicole joined the staff in the pool for good, wholesome fun.
One thing we learned from this party was that people, instinctively, were terrified of tall, large, bearded folk like me and Mitch. We'd get into the pool, right? And people didn't want to be near us. They didn't say anything ,they weren't outwardly offended, but... For some reason, they'd drift slightly away. So, we'd also drift towards them in our jibba-jabbas, and sure enough they started to also drift away from us as well. It got to a point where most of the whole pool behind us was utterly vacant, and everyone was shoved into the corners, not at all realizing they were there like that, not at all looking at us incredulously or even noticing they had done this--it just was! Hahah, I remember Mitch looking at me--"Well, they're at the edge... NOW what?" and I responded, in true 300 fashion, "TO THE CLIFFS!"... But of course we didn't really do that. Eventually because we actually started swimming all over the place, everyone got back to normal.
The best part about it was the killer whale football. They had a giganimous blow-up Orca someone decided to name Jimmy. Jimmy, here, served as this catalyst for a full-on physical game that wore people out and was tons of fun. At first it was just punching the thing back and forth, half the people on one side of the pool, the other on, well, the other side of the pool, and just knocking it back. Whoever managed to cause it to crash onto the sidelines won a "point" (although absolutely no one was keeping track by this point, and this was not where the game really began anyway). Then, like football, it started to evolve. It got to where you'd try to knock it to the back of the pool, the opposite side of the pool you were on. And they'd try to stop it, catch it, and knock it or run it back to OUR side, and we'd have to grab on, drag it one way or another, and use all this strength and dexterity to make a difference running under water that was up to our chests. It was really awesome, this is when scores were kept, and everyone had a blast.
It was really, really good to see and talk to everyone there, and I think we had a total blast--so much so that we didn't want to leave. We were there 'til all hours of the morning, joking with Arianna and...man, we didn't wanna go. We eventually did, we eventually got tired, and we were all pruned up. One of the interesting things about our evening was the sheer number of people we ended up getting. I don't remember why Logan and Kendra (from the Star Party) needed a place to stay, but things weren't working out for them. So we offered them a hand. We'd done this likewise the day before, helping Beth and her friend have a place to stay on Sunday night so they wouldn't be rushed out in the middle of Sunday afternoon from their room. what this ended in? Was ten people staying in our room, intended for two. Me, Mitch, Mike, Jessica, Logan, Kendra, Summer, Jon, Beth, and Beth's friend. We had to make some room! But it definitely ended in girly gossiping with the menfolk (me and Mitch included) as well as many, many teehees (also me and Mitch included!)
Thank you so much for staying with us! THE ROOM WAS NOW DIAMONDS!!
Day Six (Monday): We all went to sleep when we finally did, little half-manly giggles and everything from the funzies had (seriously the manly teehees have to happen at least one night a convention, ever since Metrocon 4.5 with Adrianna and Nick! It's tradition!!) and we eventually woke up with the knowledge that we all had to go home, me and Jon included for California. We spent most of the day just shaking hands and saying goodbye to the people of the Metrocon staff who had managed to stay over, especially a huge thank you for Alex who helped us get our room and told us we did a good job for him; I don't often get the thank yous in any job that I do, and while I totally don't expect it nor demand it, it felt good to hear, and I appreciate all the things he did for us along the way. Um... We went to a lunch, bullshitted, passed some stories... All in all, it was a tremendous experience, the whole Metro convention, and... The best news? It wasn't over.
The real downside about this Metrocon, if there ever was one, is the "Reset" button I've brought up in the past. Metrocon has always been about that one time in the year we get to leave from our daily lives, and go somewhere, and get it all out. We have stress meters, and we can take an awful lot of it, but it builds up to explosive levels after a year's time, and things seem to get horrendously piled-on and worse right before the convention finally happens, and then ... POOF. Suddenly, reset. Blank slate, meter's brought back down for the next year. You don't even realize how much you needed it until you've finally gone to Metrocon, and then you're just prime and amped for a year without issue. ... But not this year. For all of it's incredible and awesome, so many things were bumpy as well, even after set up, that me and Mitch made a claim that it only half reset us. We still needed a break, we needed the fun to overwhelm all of our other thoughts, and sometimes that didn't happen.
It was like we were going to get another year with half-a-tank of stress still in.
THEN the good news... I ran into Adrianna and Rudy, and their pal Beth Riley, and it turns out... Do you remember years ago? Metrocon 4 ended, and they mentioned at the end the Metrocon 4.5? And that was hands-down the best of Metrocons? That's exactly what they're doing again, only rather than actually being entirely Metrocon, it's run by Shadocon... And much like Metrocon's owned by different people than it used to be, Shadocon is also not run by the people of Metrocon per se. It's run by Metrocon PEOPLE--indeed, I'd say 98.6% of the cast are all Metro people--but the people in charge are different, and it's a different angle. I guess Cris Colina, Victoria, Rudy, and Adrianna all got together and decided, Remember how Metrocon USED to be? Let's bring that beat back!, and that is exactly what they're doing. It's even held at the original sight for Metrocon, the Crowne Plaza, where Metrocon I and Metrocon II occurred as 24/hour cons.
Remember when we had the pleasure of things being that awesome? It's back.
To this effect, me and Mitch are calling it NostalgiaCon (a term lost on a lot of people who were Metrocon III and up), and the very presence of it makes me wanna call up Troy and Cass and get them to room together with Ken and Martin for the ultimate experience. Unfortunately, that doesn't look possible, BUT like Metrocon 4.5, it's being held in the Fall--specifically November 5th through 7th, and I'm gonna be there once more. In addition to the cheaper hotel rates and 24 hours in the original stomping grounds of the Metrocon life, it'll carry the original Final Fantasy Ball that existed before the Metro Masquerade took over as the big dance-off for Metrocon; Final Fantasy Ball had existed even before Metrocon I (by one year--could be seen as Metrocon Zero!) and it's return has made a lot of people giddy. The usual Metrocon suspects will all be back in it, and all playing roles of various Final Fantasy characters. In addition, the convention isn't solely an anime convention, branching out into comic books and video games! It'll be way more core, prolly smaller, but fun.
When me and Jon finally parted ways at the air port, I had my worries and concerns, but I was glad I came out to Florida and got to see everyone I did. I wanna say Thank you to all of the people I saw at the Metrocon--all of my Metrocon homies, now far too many to name... You're all fantastic, fantastic friends, and I love you guys. I'm sorry--to anyone that wanted to read, which I doubt that's a long list--that this came out so late, like I said there's just been this landslide of bullshit that has absolutely taken all of our time back here in California, and I'll get into them in the next entry fairly soon here ('cuz they're near an end), but I hope to see each and every one of you at the next Shadocon, and we'll be there, me and Mitch--working on the side lines, getting shit done for Fax and Rudy and the rest of the gang. Catch us there! And don't say it's too far... We'll be coming from California. Cheers!
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
PS: I got asked from questions from various people that I want to address and answer concerning Metrocon. Let's see how many I can put to rest!
So I got back from Metrocon about an hour ago... I know they're under new owners and shit but what the fuck happened?! This was supposed to be Floridas BEST Anime con? That is correct... It's what we call Growing Pains. I've mentioned some of the things I think they need to concentrate on, and I hope they'll realize that being an elitist group or being snooty in any fashion isn't the way to go; this is Metrocon! This is family, not a military, not a job. Whatever things went on that may have disappointed you, rare as I'm sure they were, they'll be fine by the next year, I have no doubt.
First off, what was up with security and their "holier than thou" attitudes? Good question. Even we get that, sometimes, and we work there! We mostly just shove through what security cards seem that way (obviously not all of them are), but it's a bit of a problem when authority goes to people they think makes them feel better than the rest and in control. Just take your time to tell head of security when there's an issue, especially if it's like that time security caught people fucking under the bleachers during the Masquerade. ... Seriously guys, what the fuck? But DON'T cry at security when Black Kyo kicks a mud-hole through the heart of the Edward Cullen cardboard cut out that offended Metrocon for nearly three whole days... 'Cuz that shit NEEDED to happen.
The dealers room had enough bootleg material to fill a Chinese flea market! Yes. Make sure you're getting your money's worth, and if it doesn't look like it's legit or worth getting, then don't get it.
And of course the chess match... Why the hell did Indiana Jones save the day? Because that has everything to do with Anime right? I wont be spending my money at the con ever again if this is the direction the new owners are taking it! They really need to up their anté, as far as the flagship event--the chess match--is concerned, this is true. The actors are perfectly capable, and are absolutely willing--and do--work hard to achieve great things, but it still needs a fresh direction with themes that people aren't going to expect, but are going to enjoy, and that's a tough balance. They need someone for the job. They need me and mine! Hahah. Anyway, like I said, Metrocon's not about the Chess Match, it's about the Metrocon attenders--the people, and the events that they create! They are what makes it worth every single second of your time and then some. Come on down!
current mood: accomplished
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 11th, 2010
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7:11 am - ~Somethin' Like A Party!~
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"Exactly 1 year ago today we wererocking out at the post metrocon pool party going on 7-11 adventures."
This is the message I got to wake up to today, and it really does sum up for me what I wanted to look upon in my pre-Metrocon entry...and what irony! Because today is, in fact, 7/11...*perfect* for 7-11 shenanigans, and near enough to Metrocon but far enough from my last journal entry for me to write it up again! MAN, I cannot WAIT! Like I said in the last entry, and prolly many entries in my past, Metrocon...for me, and for MANY of us, is a time-honored tradition where we get to finally set aside our problems. A several-day experience (or sometimes weeks, if you're like me!) where you can finally...no, really...unwind. It's a reset-button on all of our stress levels for an entire year, with things almost comically growing worse in your life just before the bell (read: just before Metrocon starts). And that time, once again, has come.
Metrocon's held at different times every year. This is why we can have such an overlap, and be able to reminisce on post-Metrocon shenanigans while still eagerly awaiting the next one. I recall last time, on this day...we walked to where the post-party was, and this was easily the first party outside of Metrocon that we got to participate in...which, to me, was always surprising, 'cuz I'd put dollars to donuts that we've been attending Metrocon longer than at least half the people here, and have become so dedicated we've more-or-less become the go-for in... Well, I'll talk about this later, I think, but the point is? We love this place, and we love the people, and anyone who's been to Metrocon knows it never was, and never will be, about the leaders, but about the People. The experiences each, and every, one of you here have had there, I'm willing to bet, outlast any drama you could name, and bring smiles to all of your faces.
It was an absolute honor to be there, and every event of the post-party--including being pelted with huge blocks of ice by douchebags driving by at high speeds when we were walking home--has been a memory we cherish, and laugh about, even today. And I can't wait to do this all again!
EVERY year of Metrocon is different...that's why I encourage everyone to attend every single event like I have, like Nick has, like Fax has, and many others. EVERY single year, is a different story, from beginning to end, with different people involved, different situations...and I'm not talking about the stories told in the Masquerade or Chess Matches, necessarily, although those apply as well--I'm talkin' *ALL* of it. The experiences of just...walking down the hallways, the experiences of the locations--who you're rooming with, and what you do! Traditions mingling with absolute, and total, new territory. New opportunities to meet new, like-minded people and expand your family--such as the Star Party cast of last year--and we're gonna be doin' it again! We're gonna be in that beautiful convention center, and we're going to just BE there...helping out Tech, helping out Security, goin' from here to there, and SOAKING in it.
I remember, I try to explain Metrocon to people, right? And I don't wanna sound sappy, just like this? This, I worry, comes out as sappy, but I try to explain to people that've never gone...you know, so they'll go! But all I get are adjectives... You know, Metrocon is AWESOME, Metrocon is GREAT, and they're like... "What makes it great?" and, I kinda fail them. I mean...I try. "The family", I'll say--I'll try to be comparing it to other cons I've gone to, and stress the kinship and experience, and... It's never right. I remember with my room mate Matt, I tried explaining it, and he decided to go with us. Load-out day, we're workin' our asses off--him, me, Mitch, James (Kaufman), Isa, you know...just tryin' to get things up and ready, and when it's all over he's like, "Man I shouldn't have come. What is this?" and...we're all just like, "No, wait for it to start, TRUST us it's gonna rock, you're gonna love this place, trust in us!"
And not even a full day passes...and he understands. We're sitting there, not doin' a God damn thing, in the halls of the Convention Center, just...watching people walk by, talk, pictures, costumes, people with us bullshitting and enjoying stories, and--Mitch just leans back, "See this, Matt? This feeling you're feeling? THIS is Metrocon." And we all knew it. THIS is what you come to Metrocon for. It's not like the others, 'cuz you know everyone here! And they're almost always welcoming, and honest, and it's really amazing...but for all of you that have gone? You already know this! Whether you joined Metrocon in...Metrocon 1, or Metrocon VIII (this years!), it doesn't matter, you're gonna know, and you're gonna get to be a part of something that's just... Amazing! So, I look forward to meeting anyone new there, too, and introducing them around...if you ever need anything, depend on me, come on down and just let us know! We'll do what we do.
I really hope to see ALL of you at this event...but I know I'm not going to. Money's tight, these days, and many people have moved far away... With me? It's my personal mission to come down from California and attend every single one, but I know not every person can do that. So... For those of you that're gonna miss it, man, I miss you already. Like... Jean and Suzy movin' to California and Arizona, respectfully (how we gonna have Metrocon without The Twins??), or Gumby n' Heather (Wilson) and her daughter Bri movin' to Michigan, or...dare I say it FRAN moving to South Carolina! Or...you know, whatever it is, it's hard to attend. But, I wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts, and we'll try to have pictures, and notes, and whatever else we can to make you feel as much in-the-loop as you can! To the rest of us gonna be there? We're gonna have a *damn* good time, and if you see us cruise on by you? Drop us a line, shout us over, we'll exchange good times and pleasantries!
I can't WAIT to see the sights! Black Kyo rockin' Hulkamania poses with us, to do the same down the escalators...pool parties with Scott McNeil, setting up and taking down the tech, the traditional walk to Walgreens after the Masquerade...good times, good laughs, it's gonna be slammin'! It's lookin' like a party, rave-status and everything. It's gonna be a blast, and it's comin' on us sooner than you'd think...with some surprises, 'cuz it looks like Mike and his girlfriend might be staying with us and everything! Unfortunately, it also seems like #2 won't be joining us, and there's a good chance Kurtis won't either. My BSG brothers from Sacramento I guess ran outta luck when it comes to the money game...and like I said before, they're in my thoughts. On the other hand? James, as far as we know, is still on!
On...the other hand, I'd also like to address a concern of mine. I'm not...listing any names, I'm not starting any drama, but...to the people who decided that...I don't belong at the con? That we, don't belong at Metrocon? Hey, fuck you. ...Maybe that's a little strong, but seriously man, the idea that...there's a person, or there are people, out there pissed off 'cuz me and my crew are considered staff, and wants us to be... separated, or segregated, is ridiculous to me. We've been all about Metrocon since day one man--that's what I was getting at earlier, right? When...Cass and Troy, when they first invited me down to FL to attend Metrocon as a way for us all to meet each other? That cemented it, man. I met...one of the best friends in my life through that thing, man, and in that chain? Everything sprawled from there.
ANY way you paint it, I got a counter for you. You think... These guys aren't a part of Cast! I hear that one a lot, mumblin' behind our backs like we're the Goddamn Leper colony, you know? I'm not saying everyone does, but I heard it a few times. CAST is king, right? CAST is what people come to see. I'm not sayin' Cast isn't important, absolutely not, they work damn hard, but I'm sayin' we deserve to be there as much as anyone else who worked their asses off to make Metrocon happen. Sure, we aren't in the spotlight yet, but that doesn't mean we don't care. Someone might think...but you don't know all the technical details! You just pick shit up! Yeah, and keep inventory, and run errands, and make phone calls to argue with the hotels on behalf of everyone, and...anything that we can do...to lend a damn hand.
We're your family, man. Most people coming to this con? Especially people I'm Facebook friends with, taggin' in this very note, they all know, and it's prolly not likely anyone not my friend's gonna read this...but I feel like saying it anyway, we bust our asses for this convention. I come from California, for this convention--and I'm poor! And what's more, I bring people with me. Kurtis, Jake, Rebecca, Monica, Brittany, Jon, Matt, Jim...to just go off the top of my head. And I know I ain't alone in that. Nick brought Bender, or Mitch, or Justin, right? So we all do this. We advertise to every soul we can, that this is the place to be. And what're we looked at like, what'm I looked at like, to some? An outsider. Someone not good enough to be considered one of you. Fuck that, and fuck you if that's how you feel. 'Cuz we're not goin' anywhere, and we will do whatever we can to maintain ourselves in that same community you feel you're apart of--that we are apart of.
I attended Metrocon since '03, went to every single one--including the Amano's World! When we walked in on Shadowfax and Christy and no one else giving them a hand packing up their game in '06, I said we should volunteer, and we did. We helped out without a single thought of reward, and that's still how I feel about it. Yeah, you might be upset that we didn't sign any official website document asking to volunteer, but that's how we do man--and now? We come early, and we stay later. This year, we're spending three different nights we wouldn't have stayed if we didn't work for this convention--and why? Because we love doing it! I love doing it--helpin' you all out, and being apart of something. Because you're out family! And that's something I wanna get through to everyone this year, stress what makes Metrocon awesome in
We aren't "Goons" or "Lackeys", we're staff--and we're gonna help you, whether you like it or not!
Now, obviously, like I said, most people don't see us that way. Like I said, I'm not gonna point out who, and I'm trying not to make any big deal out of this--I'm just sayin'...I'm stickin' up for the guys that have worked hard, and will work hard, from this day forward...don't think us outcasts, don't think we're here to steal spotlight or ruin your parade, don't think we're creepy bearded folk in the corner of your stage, don't think we don't deserve to be among you or at your parties or whatever--just see it for what it is, we're here to be your friends, and be your help! Let's do this shit together, right?? Let's kick ass, let's take names, let's party it up, have tons of fun without any of the stress, and do what we always do when we attend this gig! Let's rock.
To My Metrocon Homies,
Walker Pennington.
Tupac Shakur sez: I exist in the depths of solitude pondering my true goal, trying to find peace of mind and still preserve my soul, constantly yearning to be accepted and from all receive respect, never compromising but sometimes risky, and that is the only regret a young heart with an old soul--how can there be peace? How can I be in the depths of solitude when there are two inside of me? This duo within me cases the perfect opportunity to learn twice as fast as those who accept simplicity.
current mood:  nostalgic
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 24th, 2010
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5:22 am - ~Never Understand This Society... ~
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So it's been a while since I've typed to this thing...and there's lots of reasons for it, I suppose. In all honesty, I tried to explain my thoughts so many times...went on here and wrote some shit down, figured I'd try to talk about a certain cool-ass event (like the fact that I found cool friends again such as Keri or Alex!) or beliefs I strongly felt on a particular thing that happened, but sometimes I just don't know what I need so I took a breather. I figured, I don't need to run around and preach my shit all the fucking time...right? You can't have something to say if you're always saying something. But like the man said, "Right about now I think I've been quiet long enough!" So let's update you since the last time you had a sit down with me--with Walker. Let's go through the motions...pertinent, as opposed to chronological, orders:
~Moves.~
First and foremost! We've moved again, me and Jim. New spot we live in now is *tremendous*, at the very least better than the places we used to. This place lets you do things like...have parking lots, and be rid of irritating bug things. My room's noticeably bigger, and comes with the shelves required in the room itself to get things sorted. The only thing holding us back from unpacking a league of boxes in our living room right now is the fact that the place doesn't have *any* furniture 'til we got this couch just now, and Jim's gotten his desk assembled. Means no shelves downstairs, which is where a lot of it needs to go--and it's all mixed up and discombobulated 'cuz we sorted things very quickly, and not with the intention of being slow or indecisive. Things we keep go here, things we don't go there. XD
Our apartment manager is named Janae, and she's pretty damn awesome herself...*definitely* cooler than the cats at the two last places, neither shady nor shrewdly business-like (and ALSO shady) like they were. Turns out? It's a small world after all--and- that's true more and more these days. My room mate Jim got hired from ye olde 8x8 to Palm by a man I met named Brian Peterson. ...Well, Brian? When we saw each other, he looked very familiar, and he said same to me, but we couldn't place how we met. And if we HAD met, it was obviously before he knew James. The potential lay in that Mike and all his friends knew Brian's ex, so everyone--including Peter Robertson--from that area of life knew of him in some way, which weirded James out for sure, but...
It turned out, when going to a dinner with Zeke, Jim, Nagel, Jamie, and Brian, during Jacob's visit (to be discussed later), they'd gotten there first and there's Brian across from Jamie, and they're lookin' at me!...and Jamie's like, "I didn't know you knew Brian!" and Brian's like, "You knew Jamie??"...'course I know Jamie, I've known Jamie for eleven years hahaha, and it had dawned on us that we most likely met at the parties she took me to with Rachell and Novim. It really was a small world after all. This same kind of thing happened later on, we were in Janae's house, meeting her awesome husband and our new neighbor Muhammad, signing the papers for the place before going out to dinner with Wally (and too bad they couldn't come along x.o)...when she leaves us to go show Muhammad to his new home, and we're just waiting and shooting the shit...
...When my roaming eyes catch sight of a picture I've seen before on her wall. Dunno where, but I've seen it, and I always thought she seemed familiar to me, so this kinda proved it right? I go back to the Facebook later down, look up her name to be sure, and sure enough I was right--I'd seen that picture randomly visiting Rachell's facebook in the past jibba-jabbin' about party invites and such, in the left-hand corner where it cycles through friends. She, TOO, knew Rachell!...she doesn't remember me (nor me her) from any specific party or event, so maybe we never met there no matter how familiar she seems (unlike Brian that we were able to pinpoint), but it was still pretty trippy...in the good way, 'cuz, again, she's cool. So, all and all, it's a great spot, and very reminiscent of the Townhouse from yore in it's layout. ...Only, it's just us two and a friend we help out here and there. Quiet-like.
Moving here was a mess. Like I said, we just kinda threw things together, and it took a lot of motivation to get things done--especially when we'd get opposition about doing it when we tried. Nagel helped out a tremendous amount, and Steinwinder too chipped a hand, so thanks to them both! Whatever we did, the I busted my knee doing it, and the combination of that and the ungiving floors here ('cuz, again, we brought no furniture) ended up causing my back to really mess up. By the end of it all, I had two back injuries and a knee injury and some kind of infection--at first the tooth, and as soon as the tooth repaired itself, the ear followed. On the plus side..? All this stuff forced me to check out Zeke and Steinwinder's recommendation to check out Valley Medical, who evidently give out poor-people insurance if you make under a certain amount.
I'd thought it had a hitch, to use such a cheap co-pay system...but nope! It's free, for the poor.
These injuries are slowly recovering, and are about done by now, but wow what a cog in the wheel. In the meantime I've been throwing various applications about while collecting unemployment and tax returns, and the one big thing I thought that was gonna work out was Game Stop. They had me fill out an application on THREE DIFFERENT OCCASIONS, and a fourth one for a separate store, and Zeke and the assistant manager really gave my hopes up by telling me they'd get me an interview--s'all I wanted, right? Just a chance to prove I was good enough. But in the end, the head manager broke it with a sledge under the grounds of "not hiring friends any more." Why not say so in the first place?? Like hiring random nobodies is doing good for you, you keep firing them--and Zeke and Chris (Merritt) are not just good friends, but PROFESSIONAL references! I've worked with them both, and they both now work at Game Stop!
It was too bad, I was really looking forward to working with Zeke, Joanna, and Jolene. Next time!
~Events of Interest!~
Half the time I went to try and write things down in these journals, it was to cover some grand and exciting event. Things that happened that just really kicked ass. ...But then, I just didn't have it in me, 'cuz I was wanting to write about things bothering me as well. Didn't want to combine them, didn't have enough from either material to make their own big thing. Well now? It's all together, and prolly unnecessarily longer, but oh well. The biggest event that happened this year was that I finally got to meet The Tux face to face. Me and Ken Cox have been friends for...thirteen years? And there was a time, once upon a time, that we were always hanging out. He got me through hard times with Rahan and Zak, and we rebuilt ye olde UGoI and ESF together with Mike and Nelson, and we really just kicked ass--HE kicked ass. Then suddenly...boom, he was out of our life, and who knows where.
The thing of it was, I think Ken somewhere along the lines got uncertain. As far as it seemed to me, it felt like Ken made decisions in his life he didn't think we'd approve of, and he lost confidence in himself because of it--which is really unfortunate, 'cuz that's just not how it is. I respect Ken's opinion a lot, and while we lost time over it, I'm very, very happy we reconnected again. When I found him here on the Facebook, I confronted him on the thing, and he told me his story...and that's kind of where I got the idea that he felt maybe we wouldn't approve of him breaking out like that, but that's not how family works right? We support shit, and when we don't, we talk about it! And Ken's family. He always had *my* back through the shit, right?? At the tail end of it all, we come to find that Ken actually is in the military, and is here in California for training!
WOW.
It blew me away. It blew me away 'cuz he was literally an HOUR away. I said, "What're you doing?? We need to hang before you go back to...wherever you gotta go to!" and we arranged something. He came down, and me and Jim headed off with him to ye olde Mongolian BBQ and had us a blast. It was really good to hang with him--and we went all over the place, all kinds of philosophical banter and funzies. It's funny, he was surprised that me and James shot the shit like we did--that our go-to for fun was either stories, or philosophical discussions. Not like "Socrates thought this." kind of stuff, but opinions being shot back and forth and being diagnosed, existentialist observations, martial arts lore...man, you name it. It was a really good time, we ate well, and in the end I like to think Ken went home happy. Plus, his wife (Ken's married now!!) is a damn good cook--she made us food for him to give us on the way down :D I hope to see him again soon!!
Speaking of the Mongolian BBQ, it's a great place for lunches. Jacob came down with his new girlfriend, Brandi Betty, to see San José and attend such things as Great America. While I didn't come along to any of those, we did hang out when he was done running around and in between those things. One of them was a big lunch/dinner where me and Jake met up with Zeke, and Jim brought Nagel and Brian Peterson, and...I wanna say Brian brought someone too? I can't recall, but I remember we all had a great time. I hoped Jake liked San José, and he's shown a real interest in moving here. Frankly, the job market's a lot easier to get into than other places--first off, it's the Silicon Valley. Shit's created here that's not really done anywhere else. Secondly, as you can see, networks often overlap. It's easier to get a job when you know someone that learns about your strengths and work-ethics and is willing to stick it out for you. ...Better than Sacramento, anyway! This is echoed in #2 and Kurtis, who might be visiting and moving here down the way.
The next badass even was Cody's Birthday Party! This, to me, was a personal dream partially realized. The last time I saw Cody was some four years ago when I left to return to Sacramento in 2006. Since then, I'd lived in Sacramento and worked at R&J Video, and I lived in Florida after working at the TILT Arcade, and then came back to California with Matt and...everything was so busy and far apart, we just never got around to it. His fiancé, Kahterine, was always inviting me to events, things like dinners at Dave & Busters, and it was just never the right time. ...Until now. This was an opportunity...and I knew it was, so I got a hold of Brian (Randall) and had him come along with me and Jim to the party...and there it was, dream finally real, and I could take a step back and watch it happen with this kinda smile on my face, and finally move on.
Years ago, 2006-era, I'd lived at Cody's place for a while after the Townhouse gang with Jim and the rest split up. Then I got a job at Books Inc. in Mountain View, which Santa Clara was just way closer than San José...so during the week, I'd stay at Jim, Brian, and Peter's. They'd offered me the shot of getting a place there, a four bedroom house with the three of them so I'd live closer, 'cuz it'd been a while since we hung out 'til I started visiting for D&D and, eventually, got the job there. Then Peter became a douchebag, and it was remarked that it was too bad the four-bedroom house couldn't be gone through with. And I thought...hey, it still can! Me and Cody back in San José lived with a douchebag named Richard. The way I saw it..? Ditch the two pieces of baggage from both groups, and pair up into this ultimate house of responsible, badass room mates. It was gonna be AWESOME, 'cuz it was like Surrogate Japan meeting Surrogate China--we'd all get shit done on time, we'd not be fighting, all these tremendously common interests.
I had been so damn psyched for this, and we got right up to the door--everyone signed lease papers!
Then...well, I don't know what happened. I was tossed out by the jerkoff newbie manager at the Books Inc. that replaced Gary, and soon after without cash to put into the Santa Clara location until we could solidify the deal, Peter had me removed from the property and no one stood up for that cause. After that, I was just so pissed the way things burned down and broke apart, I took my mom's advice to get back to Sacramento and go back to college. Why not, right? Well, we all know how THAT turned out, but I'd say...for two years there? I was always a little bitter that it didn't work out. It seemed, at the time, to be just THE most awesome set up we could ever, ever, ever accomplish, a festival of greatness under one home, and I saw it being unbeatable...and then I'd look around where I was at the time, and just grumble. But HERE?...here they were. They all got along. And I got a brief, but fun, amount of time with a dream that could've been true.
Silly? Maybe, but I was ecstatic. ESPECIALLY since there were more surprises--like I'd forgotten they lived with my old room mate Robert Wilson! We all had so many awesome laughs, and Kat made damn good food, and her family was nice and...it was a small, but very memorable event. My only regret in it all is that Larry couldn't (or wouldn't?) join us...that kind of united would have blown the roof off the buildings, you know? But it was really, really awesome to see Cody and Robert again (ol' Red and Tig XD), and it was really cool to meet the family Cody's going into, and just shoot the shit on everything from lame 8x8 politics to the new Super Street Fighter IV. Brian and Jim seemed to enjoy themselves too, and it seemed like a great way to get Brian out of the house and around a large number of people again. We really should do it more often! And with that in mind, I look forward to the next time.
The last event was actually very recent, and it spawned this journal entry after the three months of being quiet...and that was going BACK to Sacramento, like I did in the last entry. This time, it was to see my little brother Stephen graduate from High School. ...Man. Can you believe that shit? My little brother is JUST now turned 18, and he now graduating. It's blown me away. I went there the day before thanks to Zeke givin' me a ride down, and we jammed with the rest of the West Coast BSG and friends for a minute there--me, #2, Zeke, Kurtis...Bobby was there, Mason was there, and of course? My brother was there. We went to the pool hall, played, haha my little brother card-sharked everyone there for there for the most part...hey, you can't blame him for the talent right? Took him a moment to shake off that rust, but soon enough he was just cleaning house. I retired by spending the night at #2's house with his girl Rochelle and with Kurtis, who often stayed there. The goal being to hang out all night, and NOT sleep on the crazy floor of my mom's place hahaha! It worked out well, and me and Kurtis even got to see ol' Dustin and Tilly by hangin' out at the Denny's after--we had a BLAST storyswapping there! It was so good to see those two!
The next morning I lightrailed it on back to my neighborhood and we were off to the ceremony.
When we got there, me, our mom, and my little brother's girlfriend Ashley all split off and let him do his thing. We waited for my little brother's dad's side of the family to show up--as you all know we both had different dads, and his dad--Neil--flew down from West Philadelphia to see it all. Likewise at the event was his twin brother Adam (who's always been an amazing guy), and grandma Marsha and Fronze who I hadn't seen since I was an itty bitty kiddy (well, more like 10) aside from a very brief "hello, goodbye" scenario when they came to get Stephen and take him to something or rather. It was really good to see everyone again, and the ceremony itself was excellent--my little brother ended his reception of his diploma with an RKO pose and everything! I sat back during it all, and thought...you know? Everything happens for a reason, and the only regret I had was that Barbara and Elana couldn't make it (even though we met up with them later)...they only let so many tickets get given out for the event, and I'd ended up taking one.
Had I known, I would have bowed out! I was kinna told they weren't coming when I *got* there. D:
BUT it was good seeing the both of them, as well! We went to the Old Spaghetti Factory and ate it up, telling stories and having good humor across the table, and...I dunno, like I said, it was just genuinely good to see everyone again, and I am *so* damn proud of my brother for it. We had ended up at Adam's house for a time, and here Stephen's dad and uncle were both trying to get him jobs, you know? Or as Adam put it, got him the interview...he was getting a brand new phone, he has a college fund for him ready to go from Neil, they were gonna help him get a car. I was just stunned. Stephen went from being this guy that was kinda...spiraling down in his life, to having opportunities I *never* had. You think I got my cellphone given to me? Naw, you think I got fancy jobs like that from the family?...WHAT family? XD I was just blown away, I was glowing with excitement, I was like, "Dude my little brother's gonna BE somebody, and he's rockin' the world right now!" in my mind. I hope he meets those opportunities head on.
The only real disappointment that day? Washing my suit jacket in hot water during the move caused it to shrink some. It's not my super-nice one from The Men's Warehouse, mind...that's still in mom's garage somewhere (lost forever no doubt), and me n' Zeke'll hopefully go back up there to college my things from that pit proper, but still. I wanted to look fancy for my brother's big day, you know respect his event and make it classy, and I have this idea I looked a bit off in it. Aw well. I went back home afterwards, and from there hit up #2's again, and basically stood up all night with Kurtis watching all these badass movies--Van Helsing and the new Sherlock Holmes. It was a damn blast, and the idea was that we'd wake up and go to Nessa's...only instead, I ended up having to head out with the family where we ate, and spent years at Best Buy waiting for them to get Stephen his phone. Still, all the same? It was cool to hang out with the family there too, and we all had fun. I even barely beat Ashley at the classic Slug Bug game.
The next huge event on our list of things to do? Metrocon. This time, I've finally managed to convince Jim to come along...after YEARS! And I intend it to be a damn blast, as usual. This time around, we've split things up a bit...not everyone's gonna fit in one room anymore, we've gotten our crew too big: Me, Nick, Mitch, Kurtis, Bender, #2, Chris (Merritt), Steve (most likely), Jim, Matt, and possibly even Jon. Zeke and Jake seem to be bowing out (too bad I hope they change their minds!), but that's still a big figure. So it seems that Nick, Bender, Chris, and Steve'll prolly take one spot, and me, Mitch, Jim, and Matt'll take up a second, and...depending on if Kurtis, #2, and Jon actually come (either or all), we'll either make a third room or try to pile it in ours. All I know is, we're gonna get there, and we're gonna bust ass for Fax, and we're gonna have this huge, huge blast...I'll no-doubt post a Metrocon-only write closer to the con, but damn.
It takes me back to simpler times, you know? Metrocon's always been that way. I remember it now.
~Reminiscence.~
I miss 'em man. I miss...the good times, you know? Not to say that we have none right now, 'cuz just last night we had this big blast with me, Jim, and Jamie inviting down Rachel, Geoff, Nagel, Brian (Peterson), Bryant, and Alethia to this badass Denny's slamboree, and that was *awesome*, but all the same...I miss it. But, sometimes, I'll...take a walk down memory lane, and I wish shit just had worked out better... And sometimes, it's just unfortunate timings, and unfortunate distances. For instance..? Seeing Kurtis, Dustin, and Tilly. Man, that was awesome. I sat there, like--and it took me back! It took me *back* to ARC, when we're sitting there at the school library just laughin' it up over useless shit, just having a good time. You know who I hang out with in my lunch times right now? Notta soul, that's who, but then? It was amazing stuff.
Or hanging out with crew? Man I remember D&Din' like that. Does that mean I never D&D it up here? All the time, but you miss the dynamics there too, you wish they didn't live so far, or had more means to just drive the fuck up there! Or man, bringin' me back to hanging with Jake and his sister and brother in Placerville! Or Placerville New Years parties! Or speakin' on the D&D, who remembers Denny's back in Florida? It's such a bitch to not be able to see my friends there...to not be able to hop in the car with Mitch, Matt, and Chris (Merritt) and just hit the Applebee's to work for Fax and listen to the aftermath. It sucks being unable to just hit #2's place and watch movies all night with him and Kurtis and totally geeking out about the newest roleplaying thing. I LOVE my friends here, but--it sucks ass that I'm so far. Believe me, I'd think the same (and DID think the same) when I lived in either of the other two locations.
Sometimes, it's not even *people*, I just wanna walk the scenery!...walk around where I used to walk when I lived in Florida, to the Park passed The Face down the eerie-ass street. Or walk around my old place in Folsom down to the park, or the giant reservoir in Olivehurst where me and Salvador used to kick it (one of my only memories of those days), or the Elementary school... I just wanna walk the streets of Lincoln Avenue on Staten Island, or the big State Park in Rancho by the river...Hell, sometimes, it's a place in time! I just wanna hang out in the house me and Matt were in on Datura Street, or look around the yard of the Folsom house, or kick it in the old Townhouse of yore. ...Sometimes, it's remembering times I'd love to be in again with certain people. Like, *any* Denny's event from either three places (Sacramento, Sarasota, San José), or reliving the Shoreleave 22, or the way me and Rebecca used to talk in the early AMs, some fun-ass WoW moments with people like Andrea and Johnny, or Jeff and Huan, or the whole gangs they were made up of...
Hell, remember sorting out comics for Cody in NYC, Rahan? Or tabletoppin' with Tommy. Man...
Hell, SPEAKING of cons, that gets a thing all by itself! I love Metrocon, and every year has always been absolutely astounding and amazing--see, I been to other cons? But nothing's ever like it. And it's always different, and it makes me wish I could just go back and experience the oldschool as well. I wanna be sitting there hanging out with Cass like, RIGHT now, watchin' that Lodoss War and jibba-jabbin' with her mom and brother in that awesome house, or jammin' it up in the Nickster's old room before his move to the 2430 on that badass couch throwin' Slayers about the room...or at the con itself, rockin' the balloon-hitting game we started on Metrocon 1 in the old hotel before it switched over, or kickin' it with Mike, Iris, Frankie, Katie, Casey, and James (Wood) in the Star Party or doin' the Fran Chant with Kurtis and Nick and Mitch, or doin' Naruto-Hulkamania poses with Nicole (Cruz), or room-mating it up with Adrianna and the WHOLE Metorcon 4.5, or swimming parties with Scott McNeil discussing the finer points of Disney rides or--ANY of it!
It's actually something that happens the closer we get to the con...anyone who's been to Metrocon knows the family vibe it can give you, and it becomes this...sanctuary, a place you can let go and just rejuvenate with people that actually give a damn. You're a part of something, and it's friendly and lively, and...it resets your patience-capacity, you know? You can just take SO MUCH after Metrocon, 'cuz your sorrows and hardships are absolutely wiped clean. ...But, as the year goes by, shit builds up, and by the end, you're just tired again. The closer you get, the more the con withdrawals...you wanna be back there more and more, 'cuz you just do *not* got the patience anymore, you're at your limit, and you just need those few days of solid, good times with wonderful people. Man, I'm looking so forward to this next one...I really hope it's on par, and it's never disappointed in the past. Never, ever, ever, even with drama bullshit that tries to show up.
~Tired.~
Being so close to the con? You know I'm just tired. Tired of all kinds of bullshit. I mean to make a list, I kinna came up with the idea of doing so with Nick but...he posted it so fast, and it was just a solid list, I'm not sure I even need to anymore. I'll say this much tho...I'm *tired* of being assumed as Goddamn creepy, or scary, or like I have some kinda alternative motive. That shit's getting really, really lame. It was kinda funny when you walk down streets and say "Hello" and everyone stares in horror for a half second (or try VERY HARD not to look at you at all) as they walk by, and say nothing, but...it's gotten to the point where it's more than that, and I'm not alone. And I've seen it crop up in all places of life, and I'm really...I dunno. It's all bad, dude. Try not to assume a book by it's cover, guys. Most of you don't, we're friends after all, but sometimes...sometimes I get some shit, people don't confirm with me what's fact and the fiction they wrote in their own heads, and it all goes downhill 'fore I even had a say.
There's a Facebook page right now, a thing you could Become A Fan of--or, I'm sorry, "Like" now (that's for you Joe) that's labeled: "I am not, flirting with you. It's called being nice." And, I'm sure this was meant as a sort of "I'm a girl being nice to you, stop taking it as me flirting with you and don't ask me out", which is fine sure--but *I* appreciated another context that went with it that was, "Stop thinking I'm here being nice to you ONLY because I have the ulterior motive of hitting on you, I'm literally JUST being nice. Stop thinking I'm creepy." Similar, right? But one's definitely suited for girls more than guys, and the other visa-versa, and I don't know if the guy intended it that way or not, but I definitely appreciate the dual-representation, 'cuz I don't think it's talked on enough. So, I'm'a talk about it, 'cuz I've a funny feeling it's the bottom of a lot of this. I'll give you just TWO examples out of plenty:
Last journal entry, I went down and name-dropped all my PetSmart buddies I could--a lot of them we'd exchanged Facebooks with. I added a lot of them 'cuz, hey, you were damned cool, and I won't be around anymore, and we all got along and had all these laughs...we all had real good chemistry, the people that I added, and it wasn't a fickle wave-and-leave thing...I worked with these people, I knew their full names and things about their lives, their passions, you know. I felt connected to those I cared about, and I wanted to *stay* connected. One of these people? Was Nicole Matz, prolly you saw me mention her last time. Now, Nicole worked in the Banfield part of the PetSmart, but we always talked it up when she worked, like I do everyone else that wasn't Denise. Just tried to see, you know..."How's life doin'?", "How's the boyfriend/girlfriend doin'?", "How's looking for other jobs?" ('cuz no one wants to actually work there!) or "Have you heard from so-and-so"...
You know, just shootin' the shit! Like I do with all of you. When you're bummed? I'm there to cheer you up, see if I can help. If you're happy, I'm there soakin' in the glory of joy with you. See?
Now, Nicole here? She's cool, she likes motorcycles and isn't really into movies...she likes activities that keep her moving, 'cuz otherwise she'll fall asleep. The vet isn't her ideal job, I think it was something paralegal she was heading for, but this is an Employer's market as we all know...so you take what you can get. But, you know, an interesting person to talk to, we'd often discuss the missing Elias or whatever...and like the rest of the PetSmart world, I asked if I could keep in contact, got added when she agreed, I'd occasionally drop a comment on whatever she threw on her page--I think I left only one, and that was on her new motorcycle she was gonna get. Either way, complete gentleman--'cuz why? 'Cuz I didn't even *see* Nicole any other damn way than a friend! Ain't like we got tons in common, right? Ain't like I had any footing, or any interest in that kind of footing! Chick has a girlfriend, and a life that's very different than mine, and I just never, ever, saw her in a way that was crushing or romantic or *anything* but a cool person.
Then a few days after I added her, day after I got canned, after I drop the comment about the motorbike? She removes me. No explanation. I try a message her way, 'cuz you know me, I don't like being the guy in the dark, I don't like being removed for shit without knowing why...in case there was some misinterpretation, or maybe I offended her by saying something on my FB, whatever it is I wanna clarify it, communicate it right, and fix if possible, and I do this for ALL my friends. So I sent the letter, basically asking why, and she gives me...nothin'. I'd'a accepted..."Too busy for friends" or "I never knew you very well", which would'a been bullshit in my opinion? But at least I got something, at least that was the direction you were going in and I didn't just get this massive cold shoulder for doing absolutely nothing, but being this really nice guy at your job and thinking you were cool. Included to think, I guess I was just somehow...creepy? I don't know! Reminds me of what Tupac Shakur had said about Janet Jackson and their filming the movie Poetic Justice:
"We had a good experience on the set. I really thought I made a friend! I thought, 'I know Janet Jackson for life!' But... As soon as the movie was over, it was like, 'Booooop~ This number has been changed."--And it was like a movie! I mean, it was like the *day* after the movie wrapped! I mean like...hahaha, 'Aight, I'm gonna call you.' '*writing # down* Alright!"--'This number's been changed. Hahaha, I said, '*Ohhhh*...OK?'"
And that's exactly how I felt! I was just like...the fuck? And this has happened before, so I didn't blow up about it, but it really made me feel shitty that...it was all two-faced. That friendliness, it was all counterfeit, and it's happened so much. These geeky women...they're the only women I can get, 'cuz everyone else is scared of me. And I know, I'm a big guy, I got the long black hair and goatee and deep voice and my coat, and...but that's not it, you know? I've been in places where that was never the fact, any of those, *all* of those, and it still happened that way. ...Well, I could never change my deep voice or my height I guess, so maybe they're the reasons why, but it's pretty much bullshit, and I thought..*those* were the reasons why, but it's not. I seen the same thing happen to my peers--every one of them that try to be good guys, be concerned or friendly, up to and including Chris (Harris) who's...you know, not tall, 165 pounds, blonde short hair. All that Southern charm, and same shit for him.
What the fuck now..? It's not always 'cuz we're hitting on you. I'm not sayin' there ain't creeps out there? There are, but I mean...don't judge 'til you got some proof, is all. Some don't.
Another example, *recent* example, a friend of mine here on Facebook recommends another friend to me...Zane, I think, was the one, recommends me to Kacy Baker, recommends she be my friend. And I'm like, sure? Whatever? Maybe the dude thought we had something in common. So occasionally, I'll see posts go by...and I say, yeah hey, I agree with that. I'll put down a "Like". Or if I see something worth commenting on, putting my two cents, I do--with her, it was like two different scenarios where I went, "I agree with this, for thus-and-so, continue being cool." Just..you know, make someone smile, and let 'em know they're on the right track. Support your friends! By the second one, I actually took a look around the page itself, and I saw this really cool Facebook note on Chivalry, how it seemed dead and how shitty it was. And I *totally* agreed with that, and after showing my support, I found her online a little while later on the Facebook chat and I say...
"Hey, you don't know me, but Zane here thought we should be friends. And you made these awesome posts, and so I just wanted to introduce myself--I'm Walker! And say, Thanks for being awesome."
That's it! Is that bad? Is that wrong? Hey, I'm this guy, thanks for being cool. That's all. And she goes, "Uh ok. Thanks?" and IMMEDIATELY blocks me. Totally, and utterly, gives me the boot. Like, I said that, so OBVIOUSLY I'm hittin' on her, OBVIOUSLY I wanna start some kinda shitty long-distance relationship out there in Oklahoma. What the fuck?? It totally pissed me off, 'cuz like I said this has happened before so many times, and here I was, sitting here being the nicest dude I could be, and I get THAT. And it's not like I didn't see the other comments that flew down her page, you know? People'd be BLATANTLY hitting on her, like the shit some guys used to do on Keri's MySpace you know? I see that shit all the time, dudes thinkin' they'll "woo" a girl over by being absolute fucking sexist pigs, and hitting on them so blatantly, and in a way that they *only* care about their asses or something--they wanna booty call, and they talk about how sexy they look, never, ever, just getting to know someone or just being a friend for concern or who they REALLY are.
And she? She responded to that shit like, "Teehee thanks!" or whatever, like she'd get into it, she'd give them positive feedback--were they removed from the list? No. But Walker Pennington thinks your shit about Chivalry being dead was a damn good write, and suddenly HE'S Mr. Badguy?? NO warning, NO feedback, NO communication or clarification, just...*tssst, no." and I'm gone. What, should I been an honorless manwhore instead?? And seriously? Removing me from Facebook doesn't solve anything if you have a problem--it only makes it worse. You don't *ever* know the real story, and real friends? Or...Hell, real *people*? They sort that shit out first before throwing it to the wind, they have a sit down with their concerns and they talk about that shit...not REMOVE you as a reply! Hell, I missed out on the ability to be with someone I'd much rather be with *now* than the person I had ended up with thanks to shit like this, 'cuz I thought she hated me!
And SPEAKING of that, I'm tired'a bein' blamed for being poor! I'm tired of...what material I'm worth being directly linked to where I'm able to go 'cuz of the resources I don't have at any given moment. People get so uppity 'cuz I can't afford to do something with them, or I can't make it up to somewhere and I missed out, like it's *my* fault shit's down the toilet in this country right now...communicate with me rather than just blaming me! TRY not to look at my in the worst way possible for once! It's not an excuse, I'm just saying money's not the worth of someone. A complete fucking asshole should not win out over me for friendship just 'cuz he or she's got...I dunno, a car, or an air conditioner, or cash to throw around at big events, or their own personal helicopter, or WHATEVER...'cuz you doing that, only reinforces in us that it's OK to be a bad guy as long as you have the cash to be, and that the honorless will always will over the good 'cuz they got better opportunities than us from the start. What kinda fucked up world's that reward system?
Tired of shit, man. Seriously. You know what else? I'm tired of people giving up. Whatever it is they're giving up on, it's bullshit unless it's something that's truly bad for them. Giving bullshit excuses for it is pretty lame too. Stop being a quitter! Quit bad boyfriends, yes, quit cigarettes, yes, quit doing fucking drugs that shit's lame--of course, but don't quit on things that are genuinely good on your life. Don't give up on your friends and the things you used to do just because someone else thinks it's kinda lame, you know? BE silly, we gotta live! Who the fuck cares what they think! Don't give up shit 'cuz the pressures on you to be the leader, I mean...yeah, it's hard work to be the go-to guy, but you're the fucking beacon man! Jesse reminds me of this shit all the time when I'm in my worst, and you know what? That means I'm signed on and ready for whatever needs doin', I'm here.
So yeah, I'm cranky. I'm havin' the con withdrawals. I hate being poor, and I hate being blamed for being poor. But I'm not giving up just because it's tough. I had...injuries all kinds, I've had bullshit raining down on my parade, but I won't quit. So don't you do it either! We got shit to do.
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
Tupac Shakur Sez: If you're not cheering for me, for what I'm doing, don't cheer for me. Don't cheer cause you think I'm cute, you know what I'm sayin'? Screw that. Cheer for me for what I'm doing, for what I stand for, and when I go to jail you should cheer *louder*.
current mood:  cranky
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, March 1st, 2010
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3:01 am - ~New Years and Beyond.~
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None were prepared.
The last you read, you were informed of the changes brought by the newest in New Years parties.
You saw the uprising of PetSmart issues and the possibilities presented with a new manager for the better.
You got to read the notion that I would make a return to Sacramento, once more.
Whatever curiosities and questions you had, they'll be answered in the usual lengthy-albeit-informative manner. One thing is for certain: 2010 will be a year of change.
~The New Year and Beyond... Round One!~
Sacramento was such a good time, the event was repeated twice. The first time around, it was the epic New Years party repeated every year, same time, same company...or at least that's the idea. This time, though, things didn't go right--as you prolly read. Jamie was doing Jamie things, and so Sarah Bronson stepped in as this year's fill in for her doing the co-hosting with me to make things happen. What *this* meant is that the location changed to be held in the Sacramento area for the first time in...four years, I think? Five? Ah, don't matter. Point is, been a while. Specifically, it was Elk Grove, at Sarah's house.
This very sudden change-up saved the party for many, but for some it just muddled things up. James and Ridgway both planned to go and couldn't any longer, 'cuz their jobs needed them the next day, and this was just too far a wake. Matt didn't go because...I don't know. That part really sucked. But! Others did come instead; Zeke and Becca, and their friend Anne Sidlauskas, traveled with me to the Sacramento to where we were supposed to meet up with #2, Kurtis, and the gang--whoever that gang would be, as some weren't sure of their ability to come. The first thing we did was go to my house, and see if my brother was interested in joining; he'd been to one previously, and always seemed interested in going back.
After that, we contacted the Jakester and #2, and Jake met us at my mom's 'fore we headed to Wal-Mart to meet #2 and Kurtis, and their respective girls Jennessa and Rochelle. Evidently, Jon was able to go, but the several times leading up on the Facebook, he'd told me he couldn't. I guess last-minute he was able to, but I didn't see it, so I made the accident of him not being able to go. I apologize profusely for that, 'cuz Jon's a cool cat and I'd'a wanted him to be there, as I'd wanted him to come to the last one! Oh well, there's always next year--and there will be. It don't stop! That's also where we sent David, Bobby, and Mason. David was also gonna bring Lela, *his* girlfriend, and evidently #2's ex.
...This created complications.
First off, I'd never met Rochelle or Lela before. I'd barely even heard stories. Jennessa evidently didn't like Lela, even though they used to be best friends, and Rochelle was in with Jennessa. So, the ultimatum I was on-the-spot being presented with was, either Jennessa and Rochelle go, or David and Lela go, or the unfortunate third option of Lela not going so David could go, because Rochelle and Jennessa won't go if Lela goes. It took a while to suss out, I don't like ultimatums...but the fact that I didn't like them helped me make my decision, because only one side was presenting one. Lela was willing to go to the party if Jennessa and Rochelle went just fine, and just be civil like me and Nick (Troyer) and Mitch and Steve did at the Metrocon. And that's what I finally came down to.
I didn't want to exclude anyone, but if one side's willing to play nice? The reasonable side's what I wanted. #2 and Kurtis both agreed it was the right thing to do, although both took time aside to talk to their respective girls they were about to leave for the party, and actually convinced them to join us after all! THAT was what I wanted, and I doubt everyone would have been able to come if I'd chosen the less reasonable side. Since everyone could make it, we were finally off. The cars consisted of me, Jakester, #2, Stephen, and Rochelle in his blazer--the one he finally fixed up that used to belong to his old man!(SO cool to see again!), Zeke's hosting Kurtis, Becca, Jennessa, and Anne, and the last was David's, housing Lela, Bobby, and Mason.
Our three-car caravan army headed for Elk Grove. I'd never been to Sarah's house, and the few times I'd ever been to Elk Grove for anything for than passing was usually to visit family. So, it was hard to say what would come out of it--we might get lost! But, thankfully, we pretty much didn't. Brent had arrived there well before we did, thanks to the arguing and sorting things out with everyone at the Wal-Mart, and he was able to keep us on the right track. When we got there, it was a damned large house, and Sarah was a damned nice host. From her side of the world, she invited and we got the honor of meeting Mike Chen, Rachel Smith, Sara Leisgang, William Herring, and...that's actually all the names I remember off the top of my head, but everyone there was super-nice!
The party proceeded well. It *seemed* shorter than our usual, but that's possibly because of the late start. *Everyone* got along--especially notable because Jennessa, Lela, and Rochelle were all being good friends as long as there were drinks to be had. It was good to see them forget old grudges for a night of fun--and anyone who says they were just pretending is tellin' me fibs! There was rockband, Smash Bros., fighting games, and the usual wrestling game escapades. There was a tremendous amount of nerd-talk and D&D jargon, and Sarah was down with the roleplaying to keep up, with plenty of convos drifting both outside and inside, drinks all over--but responsibly, and just an awesome time. I was really sorry Jamie and James went and missed it, or Brian, Chris, and Wally who said they were thinking about coming but didn't.
Also coming to the party was Dustin and Tilly! Later than normal, and not for long, but it was seriously good to see them again. This meant me, Dustin, and David could trade PetSmart stories, among other funzies. It made me wish for the good ol' days of me, Dustin, and Kurtis jammin' in the American River College library every day. ...Unfortunately, even if I wanted to go do that again, evidently ARC has taken down their library and has been remodeling it for...for a very long time! I am sad T_T...but ah well. The point is, the party was a success, and it was great seeing everyone again--and everyone had fun, even people that weren't sure they would. The only bad thing that happened was Sarah confirmed she was indeed, soon, going to be moving to Austin, Texas with her boyfriend, away from California and these good times.
~The New Year and Beyond... Round Two!~
Down the line, I got a letter in the mail from my mom. She sent me the first season of Castle, along with a letter from the Sacramento court addressed to me; evidently they didn't get the memo that I'd moved to Florida in Sarasota and Bradenton, and then back to California in Santa Clara and Sunnyvale, by then. Four locations since! The Hell?? And it's not like I hadn't registered with Florida, or changed my mailing address three times with the post office right? And, naturally, the courts wanted me for Jury Summons. At first, I was going to try and find a way out of it--I even made some phone calls, but the line at the place was *always* busy. Go go government. ...But then I thought about it. I checked out the dates--February 8th, I needed to report. I was on Stand By.
These days, you report by calling and the Internet. When you're on Stand By like me, you're not yet on the trial--you're there in case something happens to their original selections. Brent's done this before, as has my mom, and Joe Kramer, so I got all kinds of stories in the leading up to this. Typically, what one should do is go into work, and call--and if you're called in, leave work and go to it. What they expected was for me to call between 11:30am and noon, and if they need you, report into their building at 1pm. Now, if I did this and got accepted? I would have to get from Sunnyvale to Sacramento. *Not* going to happen in an hour, or an hour and a half. It's the equivalent of driving from Orlando to Jacksonville; it's about two hours if everything goes right, by car. I was going by train, if I went.
But I took a look at it. This notice? Was actually killing *many* birds with one stone. Not only did I get to talk to my brother, see my good friends again, and serve my country, but I could *not* work a full week of shifts for Denise at PetSmart (which I loathe doing!), attend the first of Eddie Saenz' "Successful Thinkers Meetup" first meeting, and, most importantly of them all? See Sarah off just before she leaves for Texas. It was *perfect*, and absolutely worth any trouble. I wasn't happy with PetSmart anyway--but more on this later. The fact of the matter is, PetSmart couldn't stop me from going. The notice said, clearly, that it was an honor to do jury duty, and that not showing up would hold me in contempt of court, backed by fines and/or jail time. I'd have to be excused in order to not show, no matter where I lived--and while I *could* say I don't live in Sacramento county anymore, as a reasonable request? That doesn't make it excused 'lest they say it does, and I needed to do that five business days in advance with a letter.
...I didn't have that kind of time left, and I didn't want to fight it anyway. This was going to rock, no matter the outcome--and? It was my duty to honor them. All stars aligned. I presented the documentation to Genie, our assistant manager, and she said I could either come in and wait 'til called every day, or take the week off--I went for the latter, and told her as much, expressing my reasons why. When she learned it'd be in Sacramento, she agreed--there was nothing that could be done. The week was mine. I left work after serving my shift on Sunday, and once more I headed back to Sacramento! Rather than bother Zeke and Becca with giving me a ride, like I said, I just grabbed a train. I don't have the money to cab it or fly, and trains are nice. I wasn't sure *exactly* how I was getting home, but since Chris offered to drive me to Sacramento (AFTER I bought the ticket!), I was able to assume he could pick me up if worst came to worst. It was all green.
Before we left for the train, James wanted us all to get some food--so me, Jim, Matt, and Mr. Nagel met with Brian Randall, although nothing went as planned. We meant to hit this one Marie Calender's-like shop, but it was closed for the big game that Sunday. So, we went to Mongolian BBQ--but IT was closed, 'cuz they're elitist and close their game down for several hours in the middle of the day. So, we hurried to Chili's...but all this driving and waiting for Brian and such wasted time, and I was pretty sure I should'a just hit the trains first and they could'a gone to eat on their lonely. But Jim would have none of it! "You must eat!", he'd cry! So, we tried. But it wasn't fast enough, and Brian tried his damndest to rush me to the train...but it was missed.
Thankfully, with Amtrak, you can miss a train, and just catch the next one. Same ticket, don't even need to tell them--so that's what I did. It'd be in a few hours, so back to Chili's!
Because I was late on the (very) relaxing train ride, I arrived naturally late as well--about 9pm. I had a sack of clothes, a magazine, and a gallon jar of Sailor Jerry's for the trip with me. Because I was late, however, this presented a new opportunity--David, Lela, Bobby, Mason, and Mason's ex-girlfriend friend Melony Ford were all gonna be in Sacramento at the time, heading to a club. They offered to pick me up so my mother wouldn't have to. Now, I'd never been clubbing before...I used to hit the occasional rave with Jacob and Tommy for funzies to see what that was about, like three or so times...and I've been to bars plenty more times than that to count, but clubbing was the third bastard-child of these two I'd never went to see. So...I thought. Why not? I could at least check it out, how bad could it be?
It was *bad*, haha.
Typical and true to me, when we go to this corner-of-the-wall spot, the first thing I do upon getting inside is see someone I know. I know a lot of people, especially in places I've lived; Sacramento-area, Tampa-area, Bay-Area, New York's area, I know a lot of people from these places. So, I walk in, and there's *my* ex-girlfriend Serena dancing there. I'd not seen Serena since...2006? And even then, it was brief. But, I thought I'd say hi. She was excited to see me, and I was glad to see her--introduced her to all my friends and every! Glad until...something was obviously different. When she left our crowd, she proceeded to wander around and make out with every guy and girl she could see. Among other activities that just got worse the later the evening went. In fact, that seemed to be the general theme of this "goth club" as a whole... amateur theatrics excusing swan-diving into sin.
If morals were a form of currency, I was Bill Gates slumming it. ...In Haiti.
Me and Bobby did the most company-keeping, since we both felt this wasn't our scene. Mason often chilled with us as well, and bought us many drinks. We met a person or two new to the spot as well, and all shared in our baffle. Melony, David, and Lela made the best of it, danced the night away. It was...an experience, but not one I'd prolly repeat unless it was to laugh at it all with my friends again... Which I'm not sure anyone appreciated! Especially wouldn't want to see Serena doing all that again, it took me everything I had not to initiate full-on Captain Mal Reynolds mode! We eventually left, and I was in such a mood, I walked in, talked with my brother--and then pulled out the bottle of rum. Asked if he wanted to join me for a walk and drink, to talk and reminisce and see what he's been up to! Since I didn't get much of a chance to do that at the New Years party.
...We ended up drinking the whole thing in about two hours, at a 60/40 ratio. (I'm bigger, I drink more, naturally.) We talked about *everything*, and it was very awesome--I hadn't done the brother-bond thing in a while, and waxing philosophy and stories is what'm alla 'bout. Around 3am, he then fell asleep at the park bench, and so I decided to snooze also. It was a *very* peaceful night, and a good ending. By 8am, we went back home hahaha. And this ended my first day, in Sacramento. Being back in the house, itself, was...better than last I'd seen it, obviously Stephen worked hard on it, and it was good, but it still smelled terrible and looked run down. I wasn't sorry I left it, in the end, for sure. I slept on the floor, and as Steve would say, it smelled like pee. Thankfully, I had clean blankets to put OVER it!
The next few days proceeded with mixed results. First off, Vic flipped out that I'd gone, under the notion that I hadn't told anyone else, even though I left a photocopied version of my letter in his office. I began to learn through my dealings with Vic that things weren't going to be golden; Denise and I would get into it over something so stupid, Denise just being petty and ridiculous, and I'd show Vic what was wrong. He'd agree with me, but there was no changes. I think he liked me, but he didn't like confrontation, and so while it landed mostly on my side--as in, I never got in trouble for disagreeing with previous ridiculousness--he never did anything to change the behavior of the issue overall, either. Now he was asking me, on Tuesday, to go and call off jury duty somehow. I tried a few times, but busy signal you know? And that's when I discovered the five-business-days thing. So, that wasn't going to happen.
I got to hang out with many of my friends; #2, Jacob, Kurtis, Bobby, Jon, Mason, David, Lela, Jennessa...and had many different activities, up to and including several trips to the Denny's, watching Turtles movies, seeing Avatar in theaters in IMAX, Kid Rockin' up and down our blocks, and so on. I wouldn't say it was a constant theme, seeing people--mostly it was the night times, as day time was spent waiting to call my jury duty, sleeping, and reading up on Sparta for Chris (Steinwinder)'s game. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see some of the friends I was hoping to...folks like Derek or Bryan, or Jeremy, or Dustin, or Eddie...well, it's a bit of a list, but the most important person I didn't get to see was Sarah Bronson herself, the #1 reason on my list of reasons for going here. I could go on all day and night as to theories about why this happened--I got the gist of it, but it also profusely confounded me. We were all looking forward to seeing her off.
Suffusive to say, nothing I say will change the past; she had priorities, and I wasn't on the menu. At least this saved Zeke and Becca a trip up to see her off with me, I suppose.
I hope she does good where she is--I hope Texas treats her as well as it can, as well as the guy she's moved over there with. I hope to introduce her to my friends there in the Austin area--David (Fields), Jic, Adam, Peggy, and the like, but we'll see. There's no doubt I'll get to visit them sooner or later, with Texas being my third-largest collection of friends in the world (behind California and Florida). It's cool being the well connected guy! All the same, there were people that I didn't get to see, and that was a bit of a let down...but I had an absolute blast being there with those that I did. Aside from a few friends, Eddie's gig, and Sarah, I got done what I wanted to, and was sufficiently relaxed in time to come home to the absolute bullcockery that was PetSmart's reply to me going for said Jury Duty.
The way home was a tad delayed from what I'd expected, but cool none the less. I ended up going with David (Wicks), #2, Lela, Mason, Bobby, and Lela's little sister "Love". I dunno if this is her real name, but that's what she introduced herself as. The idea was they were already planning on going to an anime convention in Oakland, so? They'd drive me at least that way, and then the Zekester would meet us in Oakland for a little hang-out 'fore he'd take me back home. This worked out doubly well, 'cuz I was planning on seeing Rebecca (Stansell) who lived in Oakland, who apparently couldn't make it down to see us for Matt (Darnell)'s leaving for Florida (bad news I'll get to later in this). Unfortunately for me, her boyfriend Tim wanted it to be a Tim day, and being a stone's throw away from her home didn't really do much for things. Ah well. There's always the future, right?
~PetSmart~
I've railed on PetSmart a lot in this journal entry. I'd like to take a moment and clarify it. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy any of my time at the job, and I'm not saying nothing and no one was any good at the place. In fact, many of the people were why I did enjoy the job! Many good people I've met have come out of the PetSmart line of work; many people I'd consider friends, or at least acquaintances I was honored to have been in the same business with: Dustin Welton, Elias Curiel, Marcus Przyborowski, Josh Kaminski, David Wicks, Fern Garner, John Nguyen, Adriana Schmidt, Jim Tietgens, Nick Slater, Stephanie Thompson, Stephanie Yue, Raymond Ramirez, Jesse Ballin, Jace Rose, Max Dickson--it's a long list. Hell, I even met and enjoyed the company of Banfield's Nicole Matz and Brian Pham! Great people, all, and as a sidenote, I really enjoyed being a part of your crew, even if I was never directly involved with most of you.
...That being said, and I'm sure many of you agree, PetSmart is a terrible company. The Hell kinda company bullies their employees like that? Demanding John stay beyond his shift "or else", or demanding that Fern and Marcus aren't allowed to hang out with each other outside of work when they're off the clock and not being paid. The Hell kinda job puts so much emphasis on getting a palette done on time, they completely forget proper courtesy and etiquette? That a manager like Denise would scream at you to finish something faster that's not even fallen behind yet. The Hell kinda job condones that same manager saying you can't go to the bathroom 'til it's your break, which she will assign to you rather than you taking? ...The Hell kinda job demands you come in uber-sick, and then gets pissed when you can't perform? What kinda job risks the health codes, and when you call out, fires you over it..? ...On Thanksgiving?
Yeah, man. PetSmart? Bad, bad company. And I was next in line. When I got back, I was essentially told that I'd crossed the lines by taking as long as I did. Even though I told Jace to tell Genie, right next to Jace who I was told was too busy to talk, that I wasn't going to be there on those days for Jury Duty. I'd taken the week off anyway before I even left. That's seven days, and I worked my first one 'fore leaving--or I'd be back before the seven were up, depending on how you look at it. Were they so damn dependent on me? Doubtful. But, I was in the shit now--apparently. It was "out of Vic's hands", Vic would say. He had to ask Denise to see if I'd have a job left, and I only had one day of work that week--that Monday. ...Aw well. This turned downright silly. I basically had to work until the Sunday after that Sunday to even work again. Before that happened, I called Vic and asked if he decided yet on my termination, since the only thing I could get out of him when I was there was "I don't know when or how you'll find out."
THEN he started saying..."No, Walker! You're not getting fired, who told you that?? Noo, no, we just meant that you had to be careful, you know, 'cuz you MIGHT get fired if you do more things like that." and so on. This sounded like backtracking, like they re-thought the stupidity of firing someone over Jury Duty, but..evidently not. Just yesterday, I walk in for my next shift, and they serve me my papers as Jim predicted they would. ...Why the farce? Why tell me one thing, then tell me another, then go back to the one thing? It wasn't changing minds, it was to keep me in the dark so I'd be off my game when they "dropped it on me". Unfortunately, throughout my whole six-month career at PetSmart, any problems I've had was manipulated with the refined work of James Erickson. Dude knew corporate politics better than I ever did--or rather, how to block it wherever he could. He knew the rules, and he predicted what they'd do without even meeting these guys. And he predicted all of this, too. So, we'll both move to the next step on the board.
Want to keep your job? Better not serve your country, that's this place's philosophy. Or, to be accurate, better not have travel complications. They cited some other times in my career I'd been non-existent at work; the time I was injured and sent home (which shouldn't have been an absence!) or the time a car broke down and left me stranded in South San Jose. Or that time the cops stopped me and forced me to come into work late, as opposed to on time. My fault, they say. Maybe someone believes so much bad luck could never happen to one guy...I dunno. This coming from the same company that mandates no social interaction between employees off the clock! ...But for now? It feels good to not work there anymore. Thanks also to Chris (Harris), #2, Nick (Bender), and Mitch for telling me to stick it through. You saved lives, and made them work for their methods. Here's lookin' at you, Unemployment.
~Center of Balance~
Like I mentioned before, too many people seem to think bad things couldn't happen as much to a person as they seem to happen to me. Several times, people have wondered to me if I just spin tales, and refuse to accept responsibility for the things that go wrong; not so. I don't know *why*, but things do generally go wrong in the life I live--or, as Mal once said, "You notice anything in particular about our luck these past few days? Any kind of...pattern?" It's all bad, haha! BUT, things seem to be improving...slowly, but surely. All the same, things always are going wrong. That ain't me refusing to accept responsibility, often if I'm explaining to you something went wrong, it's because you deserve an explanation. Facts, in my world, are very important--they help me suss out what's right and wrong. So, I deliver facts. And when I done wrong? I'll say it. Generally "Man, I'm sorry" or "my bad" over little things, for instance. In fact, I make *lots* of mistakes; I'm clumsy, both physically and in life.
It's how I know what I do--trial and error. I was there, so I know why it sucks, and I'm trying to help you avoid it! And if I ain't in the know, I'll generally summon a contact that does.
I say all this 'cuz I worry that people think I'm not in their corner. ...Or there's some *reason*, behind why I'm in their corner, or I'm not all I say I am. Let me discourage any of those thoughts--I might not have much by the way of financial power, but believe me, you can count on me to do right by you, to the best of my ability. Even if we aren't friends, I will always be trying to do the right thing, and you can count on me for that. ...And recently, during my time waiting for PetSmart to make it's decision, I made sure of it. Every once in a while, you gotta do a quest see? Gotta see if you're being the real you--to see if you're who you always wanted to be, or are what people see you as. Looking back at what you were, and what you wanted to be when you were you, is all manner of important--if you liked who you were or were happier then, maybe there's a reason to go back right? I was once told by someone else:
"I know that the sides of myself I show to some people might be accepted, but not other parts. ... When I am with you, I do not have to worry about that. ... I can not say how much that means to me. Then, if that were not enough? You have this personality that I find endlessly interesting. You are very strong willed and can stand up against anything if you want to. Sometimes, you have doubts and worries, but you still remain so confident. It is inspiring to me and it makes me feel more confident too. It is like, when I talk to you, I feel like I can also tackle anything. I do not feel scared about what is to come. It is like... you bring out the best part of me and remind me it is there. You are so kind too. You are always taking time to try to help people if you can, even if you do not entirely want to sometimes. Not to mention how honorable you are. You stick to these great principals that I think every person should stick to, but sadly is not seen often now a days."
There's more, but I'm not here to pat my own back--the point is, when they said this, they weren't looking to gain anything. This was just their view on me, and I was--and am--very honored to have received it. So much so, I wanna make sure I maintain this track; that I, Walker Pennington, maintain being this good person I've been so far, as time has a way of jading you and making you compromise. I hate compromising with who I am or what I'm about, so thankfully I'm not one to change, but...being more compliant than usual made me second-guess if I'd gone soft. When you're someone who seeks justice, you can't go soft. So I found out why I might think like this...and made sure I was just second-guessing what wasn't true, and then I immersed myself in the Walker of the OldSchool. Pepsi Throwback, Shaft, Highlander, old hip hop music the likes of which Angela Silva would'a jammed to, and more. In short...I centered myself back onto my goals, because any deviation--no matter how little in prominence--was too much. I need to be true to me, and no one else.
No more'a this being discouraged by Life.
Recently, I've seen some of this--my tryin' to help people make bad mistakes. Sometimes, I see mistakes, and pointing it out's not gonna do much. I get that. Sometimes, people gotta make their own mistakes...but, I wish I could translate my fears for them better. Like with this girl, she's got this guy...not letting her hang out with her buddies, right? Wants things to be for him, 'cuz the dude's the jealous type. Doesn't wanna get involved in her life, doesn't wanna meet any of her friends--wants nothin' to do with her. Hell, I'd seen this kinda shit happen multiple times in my past, and someone who might think I'm talking about them right now? Would probably be wrong, although I'll name no names. Point is...if you got someone you love, make sure you love 'em and that they love you. And don't confuse possessiveness or lust or any'a that goofy shit--I mean love. Or, once more to Mal, "I might not show respect to your job, but he didn't respect *you*. That's the difference. Inara, he doesn't even see you."
So, this is a warning shot across the whole bow of the world; don't fall for tomfoolery. Someone who loves you, wants to love you--the you that you were when he met you. He wants to get involved with your life and your hobbies, to see what you and what makes you smile. He won't stand for you shaping yourself to fit him exactly, that takes out the exploration and sharing of your two worlds! So don't be some trophy for him to show off to the masses, and don't string him along if you don't love him back; yeah, might hurt him to break up with him, but he doesn't deserve to be strung along either. Maybe I ain't #1 in the relationship department haha--like it's been said, a lot of bad shit just happens to me. I think Jim described it as Life trying to juggle trains on my face; it just never ends well. But I can assure you, I know what I'm talking about here.
A real man certainly doesn't refuse to hang out with your friends, or refuse let you out of the house, or get super fucking jealous over you having said friends. Seriously. That being said, you find yourself liking him, and him liking you, and he doesn't have to be glued to your hip in order for him to calm the fuck down--i.e. he lets you be you and live your life? Then, more power to you. I look forward to seeing it in action. But, for those'a you who think this is the way to go...maybe you're only taking him 'cuz you'll take anyone who'll accept you? Believe me, you'll be better off on your own, and you'll likely not be single for long anyway.
It ain't love if your reasons for being with someone are so that you feel loved, and that's it...you know? Love's selfless, and it's for the real deal. Just another message from me to you, trying to be in your corner; not trying to tell you what to do, but I'd like to see your step be as sure as I've seen it in the past. And it ain't. In short: when you date someone, see them as a possibility of spending forever with them. And if that's not your goal (which makes me wonder why you'd do it in the first place, but that's me!) and we're playing a Hedonistic route...living for the moment? Then uh. How's your moment? Are you settling for something, because you think better is unachievable? Or...is this truly, exactly, what you wanted?
~Forward.~
In the end, things might be looking on the down. We're a long way from where we'd planned to be, and many things didn't work out. But..? We're also a long way from where we were, a long way from the Monroe house, a long way from the Florida life, a long way from Sacramento--all of it. Life's improved. And now, there's a footing--with help, the direction is changing for me. Misfortune's paying off, and it's coming together this very year. 2009 was a year of...setting things up, putting things into motion. Rome wasn't built in a day, and they had at least something to start from. In 2009, there was nothing, less than nothing--there were things that had to be thrown out, even. Cancer. Now, much of that is done away with, we're in a new place, and while we're not settling for it? It's baby steps. 2010 is gonna be all about improving, and change.
I intend to come out of 2010 kicking ass. Even with Darnell going back to Florida, I have a feeling this is going to be a really good year for us all. In 2009, we started the year on bad terms--factions, even, silly as it seems now. It went from Nick's to Matt's, from Sarasota to Bradenton, from Florida back to California, and each step we grew, and got better. By the end of 2009, we'd all here gained a good enough foothold to do more than stave off the bad--we could start making changes for the good, and that's what this year's gonna be all about for me. Making changes for good. In me, in the people I know, in the people I don't know. I'm starting the path I've always wanted to be on, and I'm gonna do it on a full steam of health. Sure, it's gonna be tough, and things won't go right--but now, finally, there are spheres of influence. With friends like I have, there's nothing gonna stop us. Finally, success can be achieved.
And you need to believe it now, too. Remember when I kept talking about, someday things will be better? Future's here, now, bub. I'm shedding useless crap and embracing a new age of freedom. Old wounds are mended, and direction is set--even me and Nick are all good now, and like he said: "It's a new year, new decade, with a new job, new goals, new dreams, new obstacles to overcome. Its a whole new game from this point on. And I think I'm fairly confident that this is all going to go my way in the end. I'm almost at that point where I can stop catching up to life, and I can start living it. Welcome to the future." I couldn't have even began to say it better, myself. If you need anything on this journey we're about to embark on, you bring it to me, and I'll do whatever the Hell I can to do right by you. Let's make lemonade.
"Welcome to the Future,"
Walker Pennington.
current mood:  prepared
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, December 27th, 2009
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11:32 pm - ~Bouncing Back~
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Well, the last journal entry covered the going-ons of October and November for the most part...and I had to finally stop. It was too big to even go in one journal entry, LJ and Facebook had to split it into two, and in some cases--such as MySpace--it had to be split into four. So...for the sake of taking it easy on the reader, I decided October and November was enough, with just a touch of December at the end--not the real deal. That being said, we're half-way through December and some change, and I'd like to not let things stack up like that again. So, here we go with December's dealings and some extras:
~Makin' Some Changes!~
The new location had an immediate positive impact on myself, and on our lives. There was more buzz, better energy, and more interest in socializing. We’d gone from filthy apartment rooms with seven people who, if they were sober enough to realize where they were, didn’t care, to being in front of our own porch and good friends on it, sprawled about in a laze. I thought that was absolutely necessary for our success. Things seemed to improve already from then-on; Jim not only got a new job, but an immediate promotion within that job. He now made something on the score of $900 a day. ...A lot, yes. Enough to buy Matt a ticket outright to Florida for Christmas. Must be nice.
This was also within walking distance of my job, who's hours started to open up to full time. I'd now be making something along the lines of a $1,000 a month, if this kept up. Unfortunately, a lot of that had to do with the firing of Elias on Thanksgiving. As you'd read in the last journal entry, the masses were made sick by forcing John and myself to work when we got the sickness...one of those affected was Elias, who had to call in. Unfortunately, he'd had absences before, and this was downright intolerable in their eyes. They wrote every person up for being sick, and that write-up was the last of three thereby getting Elias fired.
And they waited 'til Thanksgiving to fucking to do it. "Hey, thanks for coming in to work. Happy Thanksgiving, go see your family!...oh, by the way, you're fired."
This happened mostly because there was no manager in charge of these people--Peter Yee skipped town. It was in SUCH bad form, I nearly walked out on the job over it. I don't care what their reasoning is--Elias could have been setting the store on fire while walking out with unpaid fish tanks strapped to his legs and cat food in his arms with a massive cat post across his shoulders, and I STILL think it'd be tremendously bad form to fire someone on Thanksgiving (or, in their case, the evening before.) The only way they could have fucked it up worse was to fire Elias on Christmas. Seriously, they could'a waited 'til fucking Monday.
I calmed down and reconsidered it, but, I wasn't at all happy, and it made me lose all respect for those in charge at the time. Things only got worse without a GM.
~Toeing The Line~
The next big incident came during our moving. We'd done things like move Nagel and working now the full time hours at PetSmart, the bones were weary this month with all this shit...then came moving stuff. The week of constant moving and constant working. Remember when I said I was done? Well, this was the PetSmart side of things. Normall, working a stocker job doesn't bother me--I can lift a lot, and I can do it for hours without trouble. But the sheer volume of super-heavy taking place outside the job only added to working the full-time Christmas haul of crap everywhere. It was madness. After the evening concerning final cleaning concerning all things, including that couch, I went back to work again.
My arm was feeling messed up, and my body wasn't much better--the back and legs. But, I felt ok enough to come in. Denise here decides to put me on Kitty Litter of all things, three palettes of the stuff...so whatever, right? But then, Denise decides that I seem slower than usual. Which is interesting, 'cuz I always go the same pace, and she always thinks it's just not fast enough, even though I generally get things done on time unless I can't find the damn things and have to waste time tracking them down (Denise adamently refuses to show you where an item is, you must find it on your own, and non-managers aren't allowed the use of a scanner.) This has been a growing friction between us since Day One: That I'm not as fast as, say, Jim.
So I tell her the cause, that my back and arm are super-sore after moving like three houses, and and she tells me that I should have called in before and not come in to work, so she could replace my hours with someone else's, because injuries mean I'm wasting her time for someone who could do the job faster, and the fact of the matter is I could make the injuries worse. This is tremendously contradictory to the write-up I got specifically because I had five days off this year when we're allowed six. Yes, I know, I got written up for almost reaching my maximum-allotted days off, even though I never quite got to it. Stupid. That's aside the point: I mentioned this, and she remained steadfast, I should have called in.
Duly noted.
I ask her if she would then like me to go home, and she says no, and has me do kitty litter. I finish everything on time and decently despite the injury's "slowing me down", and I go home wondering what the Hell it was that Denise was talking about. I hadn't been to sleep yet, mind you--not since before The Couch and the shit that came with it. So, after sleeping, the injuries get much more severe...not sure why, but according to my doctor, they got more severe because blood has gone to the area to help out, but it also causes swelling and stiffness, and now they're mad...but anyway, my arms could extend or curl without tremendous pain, my back was stiff and painful, and my legs and feet feel like they were on fire. I took Denise's advice.
I call another manager, Marcus, that evening after calling my doctor to get a note; Marcus is also a manager at PetSmart, and by far the best to work under so far in my experiences, rare as it is. See, PetSmart's policy is to call one hour before your shift if you're calling in...but like the last time, unfortunately, PetSmart opens at 4am, and there's no answering machine to speak of. I'd learned my lesson, and called as close to that as I could--just before they closed. I explained everything to Marcus--that I can't make it to work, since he's the only one there, and Marcus tells me I should see about talking to Denise and getting something lighter to do if I feel up to it. I agree, if he thinks I can get reduced hours. He says that shouldn't be an issue.
The morning comes for my shift, and I do *not* feel up to going...my shift is at 4am, so I cannot call before my shift as the store doesn't open before 4, so I call precisely at 4 to lay my concerns--better than walking all the way there. My pains've not gotten better, and so I call Denise and she insists I come in anyway, despite telling me I shouldn't. I tell her I don't mind coming in, so long as it's not heavy-lifting, and she understands that I will be slow, and then I ask if it's possible that I get reduced hours since I might not be able to work the full eight hour shift. Denise agrees, and says I can work four or five hours. Well, hey, not so bad after all right? So, I go in.
Once getting there, it's a complete 180, and she is not coaxing me with kindness to please come in and we'll take it easy like she did the phone--instead, she insists that I'm fifteen minutes late (I walked while sore--she knew I'd be late already), and that this would count against my attendance pool, and doubly-so if I left home early, despite the fact that I had a doctor telling us that I should NOT be coming in at ALL. Even with the knowledge of there going to be a doctor's note, it doesn't matter to her, and I get a five minute lecture on this. She puts me on pet care totes, which are black boxes stuffed with an assortment of crap intended to go on various isles. No big deal, I figure.
I do my totes, which take me two hours rather than one to complete. During this time, half of them are done within the first hour, but I have a few things I do not know where they belong, and due to the nature of my back--it literally will not bend--I do not put them down onto the low cart, but rather instead on the high-top of the shelf. Genie, the assistant manager, usually has me overstock anything that doesn't have a home anyway, and I do not see a home for these items. So, when I was DONE with Totes, I wanted to grab the elusive Denise and ask where things went, if indeed they went anywhere, and do as I should do. I can't find Denise, so I go on my break instead. Maybe that was a big mistake.
When I come back from break, Denise at length tells me I purposefully misplaced the items in question. Like, doesn't ask me if I did, merely states that I did, as if there was absolutely no doubt. And as I try to explain what happened, she doesn't listen and continues on saying that I was stocking them when I wasn't supposed to. This is another issue, because her standing orders outright conflicted with Genie's, and had done so in the past. She then started to add things, saying I'd been intentionally stocking the shelves badly--which is crap, 'cuz I'm always complimented--even from Denise--that I make things look good.
When I asked for an example, her only instance she could site being this one point where I was bringing fish-rocks over and I realized one of the bags had been broken on the palette they came off of. So I piled the bags on their rightful spot, and rushed the spilling bag into the back to be in the pile of things that need to be keyed out. I come back, and Fern--fellow employee--is next to Denise, and Fern has completed the task of putting the bags all away on the shelf and making them look neat. I intended to do this, but she'd done it first. It was very nice, but I was sitting here being told I intended to leave it as such.
Things got ugly, and I toed the line. I don't like being told what I intended to do, as if someone else knows me better than me. I try to say my case, but she says "I AM ENDING THIS CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW, NO MORE TALKING, IF YOU CAN'T WORK HERE, THEN DON'T WORK HERE." I felt talked to like an idiot-child, and like I couldn't address my personal issues with a superior at my job. My voice was stomped out, via threat. I bit my tongue for the moment 'til I could get some legal advice, but the rest of the day didn't improve things. Denise starts finding things I never even *saw* before and saying they were put in the wrong places and that I was putting them there. Things that did not come out of my totes.
I told her I had nothing to do with the things she was finding, and she told me, "Then I guess they MAGICALLY appeared there, didn't they Walker? Because they weren't misplaced an hour ago!" in a very sarcastic and demeaning manner. Again, I felt like I was being treated like a child. We debated it a little, and then I told her she could check the UPC/bar code with the inventory list of my totes, and show me where that product was involved with my totes. She stopped and never checked, leading me to believe she is LOOKING for reasons to fire me now--it's all a pattern. She'd done it before, and I'd seen it--this random accusing was very simply not professional.
Like I said, I finished my totes two hours in, and Denise comes around the corner and says "COME ON WALKER, WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW??" and she asks it in a way that feigns concern and confusion...and very pointedly, as if "allowing" me the chance to answer with the correct thing to say rather than what I told her hours before, she wanted me to say something like "sorry, I'll go faster". But that's not me, and I explain to her that, mere hours ago, I had a conversation with her concerning this very reason--it's why I called in, and she knew I was going to be slow. That's not what she wanted to hear, and she walks away in a huff.
I pack up all my boxes, put them all away, and then she appears moments later saying even though I'm injured, it doesn't mean I can't hustle. I need to be fast. I say, "uh..yes, yes it *does* mean I can't hustle! That is, in fact, *exactly* what that means!" and she goes, "Do I have to send you home?? Can you not do the job, is that what this is?!" and starts yelling at me with things along these lines. I had to interrupt her to say, "that IS the reason I called to try and take it off earlier today!" and so, she sends me home, yelling at me the whole time about how this is going to count as my ABSENCE rather than anything else, even though I was NOT absent for work this day--I came in, and I did things.
I just had to go home early. This is wrong, and it was false information she was putting on my permanent record. I had considered, by this point, doing what I usually do when I see managers not only acting unprofessionally and unfairly, but also not holding themselves to the same rules--I go around being as openly antagonistic and difficult to work with as anyone could possibly be. I call bullshit when I see bullshit. I pull no punches and don't even try to pretend I was toeing the company line. Every boss with the feeling that they could hold special interests for themselves, and special rules for themselves, got to see this side of me--I might even like them outside of work, but that hardly matters. When there's wrong-doing, I generally turn up the trouble 'til it gets real loud. I feel so much better that way.
Chris (Harris) felt the same way. I double-checked with him to gather his thoughts, since he's kinda my moral compass; he keeps me being me, and if I find myself drifting from that, he reminds me what I stand for in case I get clouded by that anger. He told me about the same--"Walker, whatever you do, don't quit. But outright refuse to do anything that goes beyond what you believe in. If they fire you, get unemployment, 'cuz in this recession I know that you can." And he was about right, especially since we'd be getting canned for things that were just ridiculous. I had it in my mind that I'd tell Denise the next time she complains about my "speed", I'd say "If you don't find me useful whatsoever, you're welcome to send me home at any time." And, eventually, one way or another I'd get my way.
Jim, being the more analytical thinker out of the two of us, suggested a different plan when he heard what I was going to be doing, and what caused this. He'd been telling me to do it here and there anyway, 'cuz of the write-up incidents about calling in sick and being forced to come in against CDC, but see I've never used the HR card, and quite frankly I didn't believe in it. The image I’d had of a rebel--which, quite frankly, I played up and exploited from time to time--had worked well to convince me that there was an "us vs. them" in a system like this. In the corporate structure it was a handicap. They wanted corporate committee clones, not mavericks. So, they'd see someone like me with a problem, and they'd just shrug. Just a number. But, Jim was very adamant that I call them this time.
And he had the plan to go and shut Denise up once and for all on the side.
~The Expensive "Fuck Off".~
Denise seemed to have the theory that this was all stuff I couldn't back up, and in any normal event, she was right. As a guy without money, or health insurance, I could be suffering the Black Plague and still not have the money required to go to a doctor to even get a check up. This isn't Mexico, Canada, or the U.N.--this is America, and (for the moment) America remains on a system that, unless you company supplies it instead, health care isn't available to anyone 'sept those that can pay. I fit nicely into that bracket. While I said I'd talked to doctors and could *get* a note, that was different then *having* one, and my next paycheck was a while yet. And she banked on it not being good enough to push this through.
She became more and more aggressive. But I knew something she didn’t know.
Despite the low amount of income I make as a person, that didn't mean the people I lived with were, and James was the heavy-weight chess piece of the PetSmart world by this point that descended from the rafters and delivered quick justice. He told me he could get it done, and took me off to a place--I think, now, it's Camino medical center, but I wasn't sure at the time, and paid for my visit outright. It was a fair chunk of change. We waited in the office, bullshitted, and then I saw the doctor who refused to let me work for the next two weeks. She took one look at the situation after some tests, and said I'd only make things worse if I did.
She didn't know me that well! But, I said, "I need to work, tho--I need money." and we kinda went back and forth on this before we agreed on "Walker shouldn't live things above 5 to 10 pounds for two weeks". Denise wanted this note presented to her on Sunday. Denise wasn't there on Sunday to receive this note, and obviously things got lost in translation. The following work day, it was also not brought--I walk, and it's raining, and who's to know if she'll actually be there? So she said I had to have the note faxed over before I left or things were over, again confident there wasn't one to deal with...but I did no such thing.
I just left, went and got the note, came back, and deposited it into the new general manager's hands. Then I called HR. In calling them, they took down my say-so, said that wasn't a good working environment, and then gave it to the District Manager Randy. Randy called me, concerned by what he heard, and I retold it all and gave him a copy as well. He told me not to tell anyone at the work that I'd done so, so he could keep an eye on things without Denise really knowing, and then went on to have me type up my notes his way. Then, he turned around and sent them on down to the new boss...Vic.
~Vic!~
The appearance of Victor Zullo happened on the very day me and HR and Randy had this talk--I'd seen him earlier that day, as well as had an incident with Denise that just really pissed me off. I didn't want to involve him though, because he seemed like a nice guy, and no need to throw crap onto his desk the moment he goes through the door--this was a problem well seeded, and he'd likely have no idea what's going on. But, Randy insisted this be brought to his desk anyhow, if for no other reason then he's the head guy and he ought to know. So, sure, Randy does as needed, and we'd meet the next time we could. The end result was good stuff--Denise was actually very polite to me and mine for the next, say, week and a half.
Vic, himself, ended up being a tremendous change for the store...you didn't need the numbers to tell you that, although within two weeks it continued to climb the corporate ladder in the "who's got the best store" listings, you could literally feel the change in the *air*...as if all the scattered energies vying for control among Genie, Denise, and others suddenly completely redirected to Vic, and he was holding the lightning rod that would absorb that power and make it useful. So far, he's absolutely tremendous...both practical, and pleasant. The initial image is very different then Peter's--rather than being a geeky-looking sour and uptight presentation, he looks like a biker that decided to hop into a button-down shirt and some khakis. Bald head, big goatee, big guy, and confident attitude.
Vic took a look at the situation with me and Denise and told me, "New leaf." He didn't care about how many absences took place before, that was old news. Old write-ups? Not his problem. He was starting fresh, and this was his new team, and he wanted to treat us all like we'd just gotten hired that exact moment and work from there. New slate. He told it to me, and he told it to Denise, and whatever else he said worked (at least for a little bit) because Denise wasn't an issue anymore for a while there. Vic didn't even care about things like shirts and how tucked they were, or what coat you wore when you were cold (he wears one often himself), or if you were a stocker jammin' to some tunes...he cared about results.
If the store was clean, organized, and customers were being cared for? That's what mattered.
And that is exactly correct. That's how the cellphone guys do it, and that's how every business should be...with the customer in mind. I'd heard once from Dustin that, at his PetSmart, a new manager really changed how things felt--I don't remember if the new replacement had been better or worse for him, but I do remember things were tremendously different according to Dustin. And now, I was getting to experience that level of change here too. It's not perfect, but those issues are being ironed out and handled with care, rather than the typical bullshit. Whatever leaks of stupid end up coming up, I just take it to Vic now, and my concerns are put at ease, for the most part! Let's see if it continues to last.
~Shenanigans~
I think I have discovered something that possibly exists at all times of the year, but focuses it's power to the holidays. I like to call him Anti-Clause. An exact opposite of Santa, but very alike in many ways--the Nega Duck to Santa, if you will. The concept is that he gains more power the closer the end of the year comes, and like the real Santa, you never see him, but he operates on this global basis fueled by hatred...and, he delivers not presents, but bad outcomes. There's no tree to put it under, no unwrapping, it's programmed to act just when you don't need it the most. But, there's a time in the year where things like that can be staved off. The continuous misfortune of our time can be set aside, and our spirits can be rejuvenated.
New Years. As everyone knows, this is the kinda tradition--started with Jamie--that I fly across the country to see attend (the other being Metrocon, started with Nick). It's one of those passions I never give up, and that I encourage all my good friends to attend all around the world. Lately, it's been a little difficult to secure a place to do said New Years party, but we always manage a way, and Jamie's new place with her boyfriend (also named Nick) would be the theoretical spot this time around. Unfortunately, things this time around aren't so easy. We'd been sort-of banking on it being at Nick and Jamie's place, but the problem is her boyfriend is fairly against the celebration...is my understanding. I don't exactly get why, but he has shown no interest in getting to know any of her friends in the first place. There's more to it, but it's not the point.
I'd intended to find an alternative, but Jamie said she was pretty sure she should host it at her house, it being her party and all, and so I went with this theory until the last minute, where Jamie told me she wasn't going to do it--that she had no support, and that it was too late to send out the invites anyhow. I was pretty sure she had my support, so I persisted and said, hey, everyone who knows you throw a party every year and have for nearly a decade, is going to expect it this year. So, it'll just be a matter of feeding them an addy! But her issue then became that she didn't expect anyone to come anyway. I fed off a list of confirmations I had so far, but she'd made note that those were my friends and not her's on the grounds that she never saw any of them 'sept a very few times in the year, if any, and...while I thought that's just because she keeps herself busy, the point stood that she felt she'd be hosting my party, not our party.
I tried again, you know...to inspire her! 'Cuz I figured (correctly) that she was feeling lousy, that she had no friends now, so I made sure to tell her that the people really enjoyed her presence, and they thought of her as a friend, and they were looking forward to seeing her again and the party again, and ended it with a "and if that ain't a good reason to throw the party, then 'Bah Humbug' right back at you!" as sort of a Brian Randall-esque joke. Only, I guess it didn't come off that way, 'cuz she thought I was guilt tripping her. We've since talked over a lunch with Jim and Mark and that matter seems cleared up, but I was worried...since then, Sarah (Bronson) had heard that the very New Years party she'd been invited to might get called off, and got a hold of me to tell me she intended the tradition to continue, and she'd let us host it at her house in Elk Grove. This is more like the old years with it in the Sacramento area, but I thought...why not?
Even still, Jamie doesn't want to do it. Thanks, Anti-Clause. One of two things I really, really look forward to every year is this tradition, and that doesn't weigh much. We'll just add that on to the bullshit of lately anyhow. But hey, even without Jamie, we'll do our very best to upkeep what we can...it's still being held at Sarah's, and we'll still do what we do. Anyone coming lemme know. Me, #2, Jacob, Zeke, Kurtis, Dustin, Becca, Brent, Bobby, Jim, Matt, myself, and Sarah will all be there so far confirmed, and nothin's gonna stop me from making it so; Hell, Denise and Genie conveniently forgot that I took off that day and told them I was taking it off a month and some change ago, the paperwork all good and lost right? Even that was a no-go. They said, "Requests are just that, Walker: Requests." and I said, "I wasn't requesting. I was informing you that I was not going to be here on the 1st of New Years. I'm sorry you think you'll need me, but I won't be here."
Fire me or don't, I'm not breaking tradition for shit, was basically what I put on the table.
Thankfully, Vic is a tremendous guy. He understood the problem, that money was spent to put this forward, and that this was a decade-or-so old tradition, and the year was 2010--a big year, indeed. He believed me when he said I got the day off by Genie, and told me to just take it--he'd work out the details later. Again, tremendous guy, and a very different direction then the others. PetSmart is already #1 in rankings, and it climbed up very fast from it's abysmal numbers previously established. He's let me go at the pace I need, and in return I've straightened up and fixed things in that place absolutely no one else would ever touch. I don't think I wanna work at PetSmart for the rest'a my days, especially with Denise and Genie and their new rules that aren't even in the books (we all take breaks at the same time now to account for each other, for instance), but I'm glad to work there with him 'til such time as I find better. Good show.
Anyway, that's all the big updates I have for now. I'll let you know what comes of it, New Years!
Happy New Years,
Walker Pennington.
current mood:  aggravated
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
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12:00 pm - ~Shit Storms pt. II~
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If you're just now getting at this, this is a two-parter to a journal entry that I just posted. Why, you might ask, is it I'm posting them in two places? Well, the fact of the matter is, the posts are just too big for Facebook. *THAT* much shit, has happened in my life, in the last two months, worth going into detail about. And we all know I'm pretty big on detail. Now, I've set up a few things, and the most recent of things would be the job market. Since then, I've been trying out at other places too, although loosely--like I said, I didn't even have a tremendous reason at this point to go looking for one other than the fact that I wanted more hours when I got out of Gyro's.
And Gyro's, and life dealing with Gyro's, was taxing enough as it was.
~Living Conditions~
~Life at the Elliot's~
I've always loved visiting Rebecca's family, which is where Zeke and Rebecca currently live. Her dad is just tremendous, although I'll be first to admit I never really got to know her mom or sister that well--they seem nice. Rebecca's dad was tank driver/shooter for the military back in his time with the army, so he's always got tremendous stories to tell (not that his good stories are only limited to military life), and we can talk about anything ranging from whiskeys to pleasant discussions on religions. And what's more, they tolerated my presence throughout this whole Gyro's thing without a single fuss. Dude simply said, "make yourself at home, help yourself to whatever", and that's rare. People's parents aren't usually that kinda nice to me--Matt's parents, Rahan's parents, and Nick's parents rank among the most memorable.
I was using the typical spot guests use, or at least the one me and Jasmine would use, a little side-cove to the entry of the front door. It was decked out with piano, a red couch, a British flag-decorated blanket citing the awesomeness of girls all over it (I assume this used to be Rebecca's at some point), Mention Geoffry, fish, an innerestin' clock made of weird lights I could never figure out, and a massive library of old, informative books, namely on cars and history. This room had seen a lot of memories, and it comforting despite them, and this was my "room" for what would be the month of October while things continue to go on back at the Monroe house. I had a tremendous time there, what little time it is that was spent not sleeping, and it was a relief from the stresses going on in my life--not much of one, but one all the same.
That's not to say there were no issues. Not only did I feel like kind of a mooch 'cuz I didn't (yet) have the money to invest in much more than treating Zeke and Rebecca to what meals I could afford us via PetSmart checks, but by being told by Rebecca's dad to make myself at home, I'd constantly--and inadvertently--do something to upset her brother Geoff. One thing would lead to the next, as well, so complaints stacked up and I don't doubt I made him more than a little irritated by it. Like, I'd use some shampoo and I'd hear, oh, that was Geoff's shampoo. Note to self, don't use it anymore. Then I'd hear, oops that was Geoff's poptarts, that was Geoff's mountain dew, that was Geoff's bread, that was Geoff's--I remember sitting in the corner of Zeke's thinking, "Wow, how out of whack is this? He owns more of the things in this house than the others put together, and he doesn't pay a thing!"
The list went on. Literally anything I touched ended up being Geoff's no matter where in the house it was, and Geoff would hear about it (or see it), and tell us he didn't appreciate his things being touched and would like it if I didn't do it anymore ever again. Even the community Mountain Dew ended up becoming just Geoff's. I didn't get it, especially from a standpoint that--where I come from anyhow, everything is pretty much community unless it's in your room. And even then, I don't mind sharing much. When I lived with people that didn't have computers of their own, for instance, I'd just let 'em use mine: Tommy, Shanna, Sean, Shaun, Emily, Carlos, James Major, James Erickson, Robert, Richard, my little brother Stephen, Jasmine, and many other guests compose a long list of people that used my computer for months 'til they got their own squared away.
And I never minded (unless they refused to get off when I needed it. Namely Richard).
So, it just didn't make sense to me. But, in general, I'm not a fan of the hoarding mentality anyway. I like to share, and do it for funzies; it's all material shit to me. But, I also didn't go around trying to take everything either--I'd generally ask someone if I could grab something from the 'fridge to eat or some such, and it'd be good. Then, I'd run into it later that it was Geoff's, and I made a colossal blunder. I finally just learned to touch and eat nothing. That quieted the complaints down some, at least! The rest of our time was spent either me reading Eric Bischoff's book, or us watching Kevin Smith's "Evening With" series. Other shows or movies would mix in if we were bored enough. But these were rare events--usually it was us sleeping, drinking, or working.
The only reasons we might NOT have been sleeping is because work was too soon to get decent sleep. I have a philosophy: If you can't get five or more hours of sleep, don't. You won't function nearly as well at work if you only have two hours as you would if you just plow through with no hours. Thus, no sleep pretty much ever. While all of this was going on, as it was mentioned already, I was barely ever at the Monroe apartments. Zeke's place became my home for a month, more or less; I'd check in on the Monroe apartments like twice a week the first two weeks, and then even less the following two. One of these instances had made some very major changes on how things happened from this day forward. It snowballed things.
~While I Was Gone~
At one point, I got a chance to stop back by the house. Zeke had expressed tremendous interest in the PS3 being brought over in the past for us to buy King of Fighters XII and Smackdown vs RAW 2010 for, as well as my other collection of fighting games, since we were into that sorta thing--us two and Randy, that is. So, upon getting there, I pack my PS3 up and my fighting games, and I leave that evening. That night, not too long after I was gone, Jim and Matt and Ridgway had all gone over to Wally and Cheri's to hang out with them and Brian, possibly Mike and Nagel as well--I couldn't be sure. The point is, when Jasmine came home on the very rare times that she decided to do so, she was locked out of the house.
The apartment was intended for two people, and thus there were three keys. Apartment complexes tend to give out as many keys as there are rooms, plus one. When I got there, Jim had a key, Ridgway had a key, and Veronica and Cheryl had a key. Since they were only temporary, and me and Matt were permanent, Jim decided to give me a key and told me that he was going to trust me with it. Shortly thereafter, Matt stole the key off of my wallet. It never made sense why he should have it, to be honest--he was always in the apartment unless he was leaving with Jim and Ridgway--people with keys, and I was the one that was constantly in motion entering and leaving the house whenever I needed to, and more than once did I suffer outside because I didn't have one anymore. I talked to Jim about it, eventually, so he gave me his key instead.
Still, this meant Jasmine never had a key, and here she was calling the room mates to see who she could muster to open the door for her. Ridgway responded to the call, he was gonna turn in early anyhow. So, he came home. With her with the downstairs neighbors--at least one of them anyway, going under the assumed name Adam. I doubt this name only because these are Mexican Thuglettes, and Adam just sounds too basic a name in the first place...but! I could be wrong. It didn't much matter, the point is, I never really trusted anyone from that apartment below us. They'd willingly admitted to selling and doing drugs (and not just pot, I'll add. Meth.) and they seemed extremely opportunist. You live in a ghetto-world long enough, you start to have an idea of who's honest and who's not in that kind of environment.
Adam was not one of those I considered to be honest, and I'd told Jasmine as much.
But anyway, I wasn't here, and Ridgway was. He opens the door and lets her in, and Adam with his two friends come in after. There's conflicting stories, but it boils down to this: Krystal, another person from down there, was not feeling good, and Adam was up there also, and there was beers to be had. Ridgway said he was gonna turn in, so as Adam's two friends are leaving, Ridgway says he'll leave the door unlocked so that when Jasmine goes, she can come back in. ...Big mistake #2. (the first was letting them in to see the stuff in the first place!) The two friends leave, and she leaves with Krystal and Adam down to their apartment. Door's left unlocked, and those friends circle back around and take Matt's Nintendo Wii and Jim's X-Box 360, and a handful of my video games and Ridgway's video games, including Smackdown vs RAW 2009, Guilty Gear XX, Disgea, the Street Fighter Alpha Anthology, and Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus.
Gone. What's worse, that Wii was a gift from Matt's mom, that was then modded-the-fuck-out by Rahan. The ultimate in Nintendo systems, all those saves? Gone.
It was a quick job, because no cords or controllers were taken that weren't immediately accessible. Thankfully, my computer wasn't stolen either. With Ridgway sleeping in his room with the door closed, it prolly wouldn't have been difficult. But most importantly of all? My PS3, which I'd taken with me back to Zeke's mere hours before, and my KoF collection, were safe and sound. In fact, that's why Matt and Jim didn't call the cops right off the bat when they came back home finally at ridiculous in the morning--Matt had seen me packing up the PS3, and naturally assumed I packed up everything else as well and took it somewhere. They went to bed feeling things were safe and sound. That is, until I made a return back to the apartment the next day (downtime from PetSmart, lucky them!)
Ridgway asked me if I'd taken them, and of course I said no. Then as silence settled on us, we realized what had happened. According to Ridgway, Jasmine had a party with friends over last night. This wasn't exactly accurate--sure there were friends and beer, but party? But that's all I knew, that it was a party, and the shady-ass downstairs neighbors were involved in it. So I went with that, and called Jasmine first. No answer to her cellphone, fine, next up was to destroy Adam. I threw on my shoes again, and my coat, pulled my hair into it's ponytail, and prepared to exchange knuckles. I don't think Adam expected me to pound on his door. ...I don't think Adam expected me at all, maybe he thought I moved out. It was an educated guess. Unfortunately, I hadn't, and I was there, and I was mad, and he knew it, and why.
After some questioning, he told me that they were Jasmine's friends, and not his. That she was the one throwing the party and invited him to join them, and then went and suggested it was possible she helped steal the things themselves to sell them. Did I believe that? Not really, but he was scared, and it was worth following up to see if they were Jasmine's friends and not Adam's. After all, I had no descriptions to go by, and Jasmine has a truck-load of druggie friends she barely knows that she rolls around with--Adam and Krystal are just one of them. So, I go back upstairs, and I contact Jim, to update him and hear instructions. After all, the most expensive things stolen were Jim and Matt's, and Jim is the only one on the lease. This is more his problem then anyone else's.
Jim tells me he'll be here, and immediately tells his job that he must take time off for the day to deal with the fact that his house was just robbed. No job's gonna deny you this if they hear a valid reason like that, and certainly wouldn't terminate you, so naturally they let him go (and wouldn't have a choice even if they didn't want to) and he arrived home in no time at all. We scoured the place to see what, if anything, was taken, and found that Jasmine's laptop was also gone. Jasmine never takes her laptop, so it was safe(r) to assume that it also was stolen--after all, a laptop is not difficult to disconnect and run off with like a desktop is. Once we added up all the damage, we called the police, and then Ridgway went to try and talk to Jasmine by calling her at the job.
The thing of it was, Jasmine was busy. Now, like I'd mentioned, you can tell your job "I just got robbed, can you give me a minute?" and they'll more than accommodate--I don't care if they're Nordstrom's or fucking NASA. But Jasmine didn't see it that way, and rather than explain things to her employers, she just told Ridgway--after saying those weren't her friends--that she had to go. Ridgway has the social graces of a Shrew, i.e. it gets worse when frustrated, so that didn't help things any. She hung up on him, and angry, he stormed out to go speak to Adam--in which Jim and Matt followed him. Ridgway went on to explain to them that Jasmine obviously felt it wasn't her problem, which isn't exactly what she said, but I could understand how he felt. All the same, I was too brain-fried and pissed to argue the fine points.
At this time, I was just trying to stay out of the way. James knew I wanted to kick open this kid's door and find the things myself, and asked that I do no such thing--and since it was mostly his stuff and Matt's stuff, they had most say over the happenings; I'd respect that. I blew off steam talking to Chris Harris, until I eventually went down to see what had developed. Jim had to takeover the conversation from Ridgway, more or less because at his meanest, he commanded all the respect of a cub scout in a room full of gangbangers. Adam insisted it wasn't his doing, but had by now claimed he knew the guys and he could try to get them back if he saw them, but for us to absolutely not call the police under any grounds.
I don't think James understood the magnitude of the problem, or that Ridgway intended to follow through calling the police. Adam was a great whiner--he’d get these puppy-dog eyes and be very emotional. He was a good con artist. I was shocked that Jim seemed to be trying to find a way to compromise. Maybe he was overwhelmed by Adam's passion on avoiding the police. He spun these great tales about how he'd get killed for snitching by fellow "gangstas", and so on. But looking back, I think Jim seems to have seen this as the path of least resistance, so he took it. Jim didn’t like confrontation or tough decisions. So, he told Adam that he wouldn't call the cops until 4pm, and wouldn't call them at all if our stuff was returned by then. It was something like, noon, by this point. Then, we went to 7-11.
It was my opinion that waiting until 4pm was ludicrous. OBVIOUSLY, he was behind it. Adam swore he'd nothing to do with it, it was only his buddies, but I mean come on. When I first moved there, Adam offered me an X-Box 360 complete with Guitar Hero, the guitar FOR Guitar Hero, and several games for $200. I didn't play Guitar Hero, and we already had two X-Box 360s (Matt's was at Nagel's thankfully), and it was shady, and I had no money to speak of anyway, so I declined...and then a few weeks before Gyro's started, Adam needed a phone number from the Yellow Pages. I had him wait by the door while I looked it up on the computer, and he scoped a peak at my PS3--and then the rest of the systems, and complimented many times that it was "very nice"...very nice set up, it must have cost a lot, etc etc.
Then, he's just magically enticing Jasmine down to listen to some rap demos. And he's a Goddamn meth-addict druggy. I hate, hate, druggies. All drugs. Hate.
But, James said he gave his word and wouldn't break it. So, wanting some kind of justice for the wrongs laid upon my friends, I turn to Ridgway. I wouldn't have Jim break his honor, but Ridgway made no such call, and he was opportunistic anyway. And he was literally chittering at the bit to call the cops, so he made it so. They came by the time we got back from the 7-11, and Adam was very, very gone. He also had a warrant for his arrest for beating his wife. What a guy. So, the officer showed up, and we explained the things that had been missing: Jim's X-Box 360, Matt's Nintendo Wii, Jasmine's laptop, and several video games belonging to me and Ridgway. We told him the accounts of everything until that point, and he wanted to call Jasmine that instant.
So, Ridgway gave him the info to do so, since he knew Jasmine's work number.
She was not happy. Apparently she was called over the PA that the police wanted to speak to her. Why someone would say that over the PA is beyond me, and doesn't even seem to add up--professional companies and all--but all the same, she was infuriated. She explained those weren't her friends and she had never seen them before, just like Adam originally did before changing his story, but Jasmine's was far more believable. Anyway, it was discovered that Jasmine actually took her laptop, so all of our concerns for her stuff's safety weren't really required, and (as she's said it) we were wasting her time. As ol' Jimi Hendrix once said, "I didn't mean to take up all your sweet time...I'll give it back to ya, one'a these days."
With that done, and the police done talking to me, I finally went with Zeke and left. I suppose I could have stayed rather than going to work that day, helped sort it out, but like I said...most of the stuff that was taken was Matt and Jim's, and the people on the lease were Ridgway and Jim, and the people present for the robbery that lived there were Ridgway and Jasmine. That means everyone was involved but Walker, aside from a few video games...and those are easily hidden and gotten rid of, so I was shit out of luck. Me, Zeke, and Chris (Harris) all said to check the local pawn shops and Gamestops to see if they've been sold as our parting advice (something else they didn't think of, something else you learn living on the streets), but no one kept the model numbers or any of that info. Aw well.
~Jasmine Is Out~
There's a coined two phrases that's circling around our friends here and in Florida (and any friends in between) called "Done Like Chris-Done" and "Done Like Jasmine Done". The first was created when Chris Merritt was having his relationship issues with Lauren. He'd say they broke up, and that he was done--for real done, and then they'd be hanging out together again, back together again, working things out again, then they were breaking up again, and he was done again. "Chris-Done" meant you quit for now because you were emotionally fed up, but you'd come back to it later. Later down, when Jasmine decided she was done with everything (she called them the "fuck its"), she didn't come back. She'd just give up because it was too much, and no matter how worth it, she didn't believe in herself enough to muster the courage.
Same thing as "Chris-Done", only "Jasmine-Done" meant there was no coming back later.
Well, it would seem things in the house were heading to "Jasmine-Done" at about a thousand miles an hour. I'd seen this kind of momentum before, the first time Jasmine flipped out because things got too much and exploded on James and James exploded right back. Matt saw my face when it started to happen--it was like a train wreck going out of control in slow motion: you can't stop it, you can't even hope to stop it, it's too much, BUT...it's slow, and it's going to suck. A lot. Last time, I spent days pulling every charismatic maneuver that communication-classes taught me alongside ol' Dustin Welton to manipulate the setting back into a friendly one; I literally spent a day talking to everyone, setting up a huge family meeting, and making everyone's (very true) concerns get fleshed out and in the open.
Articulating degrees of concern without being hostile and reconstructing things takes a certain kind of negotiation. That's why you need a negotiator. That's what I do.
This time around, however, I wasn't there for that, and the train-wreck was personified by Ridgway. I'm not saying he's a heartless bastard, but he certainly didn't seem to like Jasmine, and Jasmine certainly didn't seem to like him back. Ridgway saw an opportunity to finally get Jasmine out of the picture, and in his mind possibly a very legitimate one, and jumped on the opportunity. He'd say things to Jim like, "she refused to cooperate on the phone" even though that's not entirely it--she just believed she couldn't do it at that moment, and he wouldn't let her go, so she finally hung up on him. When she eventually called back, Ridgway would say she never said she was sorry, and he said that she said she wasn't responsible for any of this whatsoever--and that wasn't entirely it, either.
Which would be just silly to say, 'cuz those people (Adam and friends) wouldn't have even come up there if it wasn't for Jasmine being there, and she was the last to leave. Responsibility in all things. Not to say she meant to do it, far from the truth, but if I'd unintentionally gotten my friend's stuff stolen, I'd not only feel really awful about it, and feel very much responsible, but I'd be offering to help pay it back when I could. Anyway, I'm not saying that Ridgway is purposefully misquoting either--he may have seen it like that, and concluded it wrongly, there've always been a lack of communication with these room mates--it's why I had to do what I did to resolve everything last time, because people wouldn't say everything, or they'd just assume the other knew and get upset that the person didn't act on it.
What I AM saying is, rather than letting it slide, he told it to Jim, and multiple times, and earnestly. He wanted Jasmine gone. Now, I wasn't here so I can't say for positive, but what I've concluded happened is that Jim, not having enough to really solidify what Jasmine actually is saying and also not feeling that his things are yet safe, wanted to sit down with Jasmine and clear absolutely everything out before continuing on. I talked to him some on it, and in his mind, this place is his--James and Ridgway are on the lease, no one else. That means Jim and Ridgway's concerns tend to be what is legally important, and you just don't invite people into the apartment that isn't exactly yours was his understanding. The stories conflicted, and he wanted them to be cleared up, so he told Jasmine that, until everyone's got a chance to sit down and talk it through, she needs to stay somewhere else.
Now, when I heard about this the next day from Jasmine while I was at Zeke's house, I felt that I don't think he would have offered this if he didn't expect her to do it anyway. As much as I was disappointed in James for not standing up for Jasmine earlier, I still trusted him, and do to this day. He's an honest person--sometimes painfully so. There may be a lot of political DNA in James, but I don't think there's a dishonest bone in his body. Jasmine had barely been at the apartments, maybe as much as I'd been. She'd be out partying and living it up in other people's houses, not ours, such as the many times she'd go and stay at Katie Headley's (not to be confused with our own Katie Atkisson).
It seemed to me when there was pressure on her, I think she’d get so frustrated with things that she couldn't function. Then she'd throw up her hands and go party for a week or two at a time. At least it seemed that way to me. She had the emotional constitution of an eggshell in my opinion. But once again, poor communication--and it's not the kind of poor communication where things are said wrong. It's that whatever's been said is assumed to mean something else. In this case, Jasmine took this to mean that James was kicking her out of the house. Now, Jasmine has assumed things many times in the past. Why? I don't know. We all know how to spell Assume.
You can't know the reasons for why someone's doing something. You can deduce, you can hypothetical, sure--but even then, nothing is in concrete, and nothing is for-sure until it is verified. If someone says "Man, I'm hungry." and someone else assumes, "Walker wants money from me so he can buy food", that's wrong. All I said was that I'm hungry. No hidden message, no asterisk, no double-meanings, and no additions...for fuck's sake! There MIGHT be something more to it, but it's not what you think it is, and you should ask...assuming there's anything there at all. Real men speak their minds, point blank, typically. But again, I wasn't there to clear this kind of thing up like I usually do. So, she packs up her game--everything she owns--and she leaves. Forever.
Talk about your shit storms.
James seemed to be ok with that, because none of his concerns were answered. To him, her taking off when there needed to be a talk was her basically telling him either that what Ridgway said was true and she had no way to fight it, or that even if it wasn't true it wasn't worth fighting to keep Jim's friendship. It was over by the time I heard about it, and just as well because I didn't have the energy to do another of what I did. My brain was so fried by now, I was barely on auto-pilot. Now that I'm back and better, I realize I would have done things differently. See, not to be all Disney here, but in my opinion, "Ohana means family." Your people are your people, and you work it out. I wouldn't have kicked her out for one night, I'd'a had words about it then and there. I didn't agree.
People living with you working against you and only for themselves--hoarding, selfish assholes--aren't your people, they've made that clear, but Jasmine hadn't been that.
But it was over, she was content to be in Tracey, moved in with a guy named Josh, and in all honesty things quieted quite a bit when I got back to the Monroe apartments since I originally left--a big difference in November 1 from October 1. But there was also a level of disorientation. For the first time since I moved here, I wasn't hanging out with Jasmine fifteen or sixteen hours a day. After having this relationship occupy my mind even when I wasn't with her--or even awake, for that matter, because I used to dream about her--it was suddenly gone. It was like a chemical imbalance in my brain. I kept wanting to pick up the phone and tell her that I'd be there, and tell her that I really cared. I wanted to ask if we could turn back the clock and just forget whatever put us in this mess, but there was nothing to turn back.
~There's A Light At The End Of The Tunnel!~
~but there's a pit half-way there.~
With that, things were pretty much over in terms of whatever momentum I ran on left. Every ending leads to new complications. We finished out Gyro's, as we were at the end of the run when this happened anyway, and I returned to the Monroe apartments. It was empty, and I had this feeling that I'd completely lost my footing when it came to Jasmine. That's not to say I was not still trying to get back with her, just that when she was living with us, I felt there was a chance. We were still going to be sharing the same room, and maybe things would calm down enough in life that it'd get back on track. Now, it didn't seem as doable, and my brain was so absolutely fried I was literally beyond the drinking-tar stage and clearly into the two like-poles being repelled against each other. My brain would absolutely not compute things that weren't already in memory, and already instinct.
That's not to say we never heard from Jasmine again. I'd get very infrequent updates here and there. She messed up her back really bad at her job (which she managed to keep despite her now living in Tracey--what a commute, and she thought the bus was bad!), she was having constant issues with her mother concerning probably everything under the sun (including the mom taking away her car at some point), we hung out for precisely one day when we went up to some mountains to see her favorite spot in the universe (that was a day full of mixed signals), which was supposed to be spent taking her to the doctor's that she decided to blow off for the fun instead, her getting a paycheck of over $1,000 from our house courtesy of the government paying for her schooling (that her mom was doing her homework for), and of course the most recent and startling of her news, her room mate Josh shooting himself.
~Dead Room-Mates.~
This year was apparently a big year for dead room-mates among my friends. Scott's room mate had taken a gun to his head in the shower only a few months ago, leaving it for Scott to find, and deal with. Alex's room mate also ended up dead, and I was jackass enough to step in it by joking around about why he wasn't there that night at the Gyro's doing his job (Alex tended to not come in sometimes. I was just kidding. Then...the reality of it, and oops.) He knew I was joking and there were no hard feelings, but...then you have this Josh guy that Jasmine was living with, and he also shoots himself. And Jasmine gets to be the one to find it. It is just apparently a bad year for room-mates. I felt for the people that lost their friends and companions--I remember how I felt, and still feel, about Sterling's own death--but I couldn't do anything much to fix it. Useless again.
I'm no stranger to dead friends, or dead room mates, or being around suicidal people. Hell, I used to be that suicidal person, and nothing short of Zak and Rahan was able to save me from that. But, due to Rahan and Zak, I can't actually feel as sorry for the guy that did himself in any, either. I mean, I do feel bad that he suffered so tremendously as to want to end his own life, sure, but...willingly killing yourself is messy business, especially with a gun, and it goes to show the degree of your selfishness and willpower. And I don't mean the unfortunate cleaning bills of the many, many questions you've loaded your friends up with the cops, either, or the family that's gotta pay your outstanding debts now that you've left this plane of existence.
Are you saying there's no one else out there to care about enough to keep on going? Sure, your life is shit, but do you honestly want to make these other people feel horrible about your death too?? No. Of course not. You didn't think about that, you jus--exactly. Selfish. You could be there for someone else, right now, that needs you--but where will you be? Dead. You say, "I can't think of a situation where I'd be useful so"...but, you never do think of that situation. You never know when something will come up that you could help with, Hell you could inadvertently cure cancer right? Only, now you won't, 'cuz you're not there to do it. Life won't always be horrible if you do what you can to get out of it...and even if it is? At least you fought your hardest for it, and for your friends, instead of letting Life win--'cuz it did. It wanted you to give up, and you obliged, and it now laughs.
I don't mean to go off on a rant, but shit like that really pisses me off. I saw through her MySpace and Facebook status-feeds that Jasmine had all these nightmares, and that things were horrible for her 'cuz she saw his (non-existent) face, all that blood...and she was just miserable, and I was pissed at the guy for putting her--and many other like her--through that. It's a time like this you realize how much you care about someone. That was about two weeks ago. She was suffering, so I suffered. That is until a very particular news woke us up, through her Facebook feed of "Jasmine Courtney is going to be ok. i am in love" followed by a whole fruitbowl of new photos of the Prince Charming posted to the MySpace feed to go with it.
~New Boyfriend? Or... ~
As of a few days ago, I saw that status update along with Matt Darnell, and just kinda...blinked. Shock doesn't begin to cover what I felt.
Jasmine Courtney is in a relationship with Larry Babli, it said.
I didn't have to investigate that, or ask anyone. There was enough "I love you, baby" and fun, excited, lovey-dovey crap all over their pages to clearly see it wasn't a hoax, or some hacker. I thought to myself, "The way it's performed, this had been a long-time coming, and well within the motion. Something like this didn't happen overnight." So why the "I love yous"? The hand-holdings? I wondered, was this in the mix when we were together, was that why things never got as official as this, all published on Facebook? I don’t know for sure what happened here--I don't like to assume, but I felt like I was possibly played, and I investigated. I couldn't confirm anything, 'cuz she also, out of nowhere, removed me as a friend on Facebook, and that's not the only boy she did it to--I'm guessing for the same reasons, which only she would know.
Here’s what I think happened:
It’s only my impression, but I think probably not. But asking around brought me across Justin Strout and her ex Tony, and I realized maybe not with Larry, but with others. I start adding shit together. At best, I was merely on a list of possibilities, and that's what she probably meant when she said, "Even if I did want to be in a relationship, I wouldn't know who to be with!" when she broke up with me. It wasn't a "I'm not sure I love you", it was a "I'm not sure I JUST love you". At worst, those were very explored possibilities. From what I read, this was true. Ow. It's shady at best, and if she wants to end things on such a low note, that's her problem. She IMed me just last night, telling me she didn't remove me and I was still her friend--but I could clearly see that wasn't the case. We didn't get to talk long, and I figure I'll figure it all out down the line.
~I Was Stale?~
Is it possible that I'd become stale? Sure. Did it matter that that I had her back, through all the confusion, through all the abuse she got from her mom, that I cared no matter what anyone said? Gave faithfulness and honesty? Evidently not. I felt kind of burned, 'cuz I was willing to do so much for her--but maybe that was part of the problem. Super-supportive boyfriend might'a just been too boring. Or maybe I was just a pastime, something to latch onto during her tenor at the Monroe apartments...once you got a car in the works, all those doors open up right? By now, enough time had gone by that indifference took over...she wants it this way? Well, fine. I did what I could, and I gave it all. I could get mad--very easily, but what would that do? She even went so far as to tell people, there never was a relationship. Right. Better to go with the guy ten years older than you.
I figured, chivalry might just be dead. Not dead as in no longer practiced, but dead as in no longer a factor: a man is measured by the cars, clothing lines, ice links, money, and minks he's got available to him, not the way that he thinks. Always being there for her, and throwing tremendous amounts of energy into doing anything I could for her--which admittedly was a lot of contacts and legwork only, but still, everything--didn't really add up. It's not thrill-by-the-second, it's not partying or kinky, it's not an asshole treating his chicks like shit a la Edward from Twilight. Fact of the matter is, it's been a terrible year for relationships on Team Walker too; Jeff, Matt Townley, Chris138, Sarah Bronson, and Sarah Cowles make up just a few of the names suffering from the bad endings. My bitching about it certainly won't help them through, and there's too much to be done in this world for me to hang up on this one.
Something always goes wrong whenever I try to have a relationship, it's not to be pitied, it's simply fact. What's important now is that I help change this world for the better, helping others.
~The Sun Is Coming Back Up.~
~Moving to Sunnyvale~
While it'd been in the making for a while there, the ability to get a new place was always a bit uncertain, financially. We went from me and Matt moving in with Jim and Ridgway in a four-bedroom house, to it just being me, Matt, and Jim since Ridgway wasn't paying his dues (according to Jim) in a three-bedroom apartment, to then going to move with Matt, Jim, Jasmine, and I into a three-bedroom, to then Ridgway coming back into the fold to move in with me, Jim, Jasmine, Matt, and Ridgway into a four-bedroom, to then Jasmine leaving and--with her leaving--no financial power to consider a four-bedroom again at this point. Not to mention how many of these houses/apartments we blew through looking for in the process. It was a mess.
The worst of it was, that half-a-year in Florida was completely unnecessary. We could'a lived in Monroe apartments as long as we stayed there already, and been ready to go by the time the lease was through. ...Oh well.
Anyway, as it stood, we needed a new place. Especially with the crime. The idea was to then take over Wally and Cheri's place, since they were moving out of it! It wasn't the most ideal of places to live, trailer homes and all, but they were very nice trailer homes considering what they were, three bedrooms, and down Henderson Avenue which...is a street I avoided for years during my times getting over Abby haha, but it's really not a bad street. It's within walking distance of the PetSmart job, and while there's no 7-11 down the street, the Henderson corner store is nearly good enough. Carl's Jr. is also there, but as far as fast food goes, it's extremely expensive. The move down the street also puts me squarely back in Sunnyvale, and I've always liked it better than Santa Clara or San José anyhow.
But we didn't move into Wally and Cheri's old place.
Turns out, upon looking at the place and if it could be done, they offered Jim what they considered a slightly bigger one, fresh off the market, and Jim took it. I didn't care, so long as we got out of the Monroe spot. Unit #38 was the one we eventually got, although I didn't see it for a very long time. By the time I got out of Gyro's, negotiations were done, and now they were waiting for a deposit--just in time for that Gyro's check. I ended up putting down $800 total that month, which is a good amount; when you start at an apartment, you start with first month's rent, and deposit. $400 would have been in my first-months rent with this place, and $400 went into deposit. Not bad. When I got back, Matt and Jim moved out of the apartment to the new place. With Ridgway barely there, and Jasmine long gone, it was just...quiet.
Oh, and there was absolutely no food. Not like Matt who won't eat certain things because he's somehow managed to be picky in this high-and-dry times, but no, literally, nothing. Not ramen. Not...well, I guess cockroaches? And whatever I got hanging out with Jamie! Which, again, a big thank you to her. ...But we'll get to those down the line. For now, the new place! Things had come to an unfortunate end at the Monroe apartments, and in the end, I suppose we can be thankful that they did. Even still, it was a big chapter in the story of our return to California (or my return, Matt's first time), and it marked the end of the book that would be the Monroe apartments in the first place.
~The Move~
We started the move a few days before the first. By now, I'd gotten a look at the new place. It was...ok. Not great, but for six months? It was better than where we were, by lots. The kitchen was huge compared to our previous places, but it went and took away from the rest of the house; small living room, small hallway. The main bedroom was enormous, but this had the same effect with the other bedrooms in that it's size made them small in the grand design. All the same, I got my own room, and that's more space than I'd been allotted since I left the Troyer's...I wasn't gonna complain. The most daunting thing of all was the move itself. It loomed over our heads for days up until this point. Most really didn't want to do it. Thankfully, we had help offered!
It was in our mind that we split up teams. See, due to the bed bugs and cockroaches, we couldn't move over all our stuff immediately. We had to check it all first, steam clean it, and basically eradicate anything remotely related to our insect nemesis. Wally and Brian offered to get a truck and share that truck with us, but we warned them we can't just swing by and get the things...we have to prepare them. Steam them, repackage them, and without letting them hit floor again, take them into the truck and get them over. We'd put off a lot of packing days for this day, but for some reason, no one liked the two-teams idea; basically the first team would go and get the stuff ready while the second team moved Wally and Cheri's place, and then we'd swing by and finish up.
Instead, they wanted us to help them move first. And then they'd help us move after. Sounds like a fair exchange, right? So, we went to it. Me? I worked PetSmart all morning, an eight hour shift moving heavy shit everywhere. And I don't sleep before my shifts, I sleep after my shifts, so I was absolutely exhausted getting off of work, and injured to boot, and yet I still went in through with the plan. It was Wally, Brian, Jim, Matt, and myself. ...And Brian's new girlfriend Nikki, but she wasn't there to help so much as watch. We moved Brian's stuff, and we moved Wally's stuff, and eventually Ridgway dropped by for an hour to help out even after. And we worked long, and hard, to get that stuff into the truck, and even longer getting it out.
See, the thing about Wally's new place is that it's on the third story of a refurbished hotel; it's been converted into an apartment complex, and wouldn't you know, Wally lives on that third floor. This means elevator or stairs are our means of travel, and in our case, both. And there is nothing that Wally owns that is light except maybe a desk, and even then I think that was Brian's. Not that I minded! I love my friends, and I love helping them, but I felt a little useless because I was worn the fuck out walking into this mess. Brian got cheesed at me for being slow or unresponsive to spoken word, but I gotta say, I didn't mean to. I was strictly just very, very done. What was worse? As soon as we arrived at the new place, Nikki (Brian's GF) took Jim to go get her washer and drier "real fast". He never came back.
However, we were in for a tremendous surprise. Remember Randy, my friend and co-worker at Gyro's? Well, turns out, he lives literally a door away from Wally's. Neighbors. Such a large city, and such a small world, there he is. I was sitting there guarding the door to Wally's place that was left wide open, and I see this hooded fellow come in through the door. He starts walking down obviously, and then...starts to slow...in that way where his head tilts, and you can tell he's considering you. Like he knows you. Like he knows me! What a small world! Not only did the guy give us a hearty hello and greet Wally and Brian in their moving in, offering any help they may need in the future, he helped us move the rest of their things. It was tremendous.
~Gliding Like A Brick~ hours</i>
When we were done with Wally's place, it was time to do our own...we'd spent hours on the job, and we were very done in, but we were optimistic--our friends were going to come with us. Not Randy, mind! But he never made a deal in the first place, so we waved a goodbye, but we were excited to be working with Wally and Brian on getting this shit done, and Jim to meet us there. Only...that's not how it worked. When we got there, Brian thought he might need a lamp for his bedroom, so he went back to his old place to get one with Wally...and they never returned. It was just me, extremely fucking spent, and Matt who was extremely fucking crippled, staring up at our apartment and realizing we were going to be the only ones in it riding this round to it's completion.
Matt was beyond pissed. I hadn't seen him that mad since Troyer wrote me up.
We worked very hard. Every single piece of furniture was moved from upstairs to that truck after being thoroughly wiped down with bleach or steam-cleaned. Sometimes both, if the situation called for it. Every piece of furniture except Ridgway's, which..he wasn't here at all, and we had no idea what to do with his stuff. 'Sides, me and Jim made a pact years ago to never move a Captain's Bed again! So everything was stuffed to that truck, and we were beyond spent. Hell, I was beyond spent before I even got there on my limited sleep and full-time stocking with injuries. But, fuck it, had to continue--and by now, Jim had finally arrived...but we needed to get the show on the road.
Thankfully...Wally remembered us! And sure enough, he busted his ass to help us unload that truck. I stayed in it, pulling things to the truck's edge, but for once in a long while, I actually felt pretty useless. Unfortunately, I had no idea how bad it would actually get--the shit storm wasn't over. We still had to do all those boxes, including the ones in the closet that didn't belong to anyone that lived there--from room mates long past. ...This was something along the lines of eight people's worth of possessions. The four of us, plus the two room mates of the past stored in that closet, plus a mixture of all the girl's stuff they'd left behind (Vi, Cheryl, Jasmine). We didn't get to it 'cuz we were tired, but after limited sleep and another day of full-time job...we were at it again, Round Two.
~"You Stay 'Til The Job's Done!"~
The next day was me working 'til 1pm or so, which I was then retrieved from my work by Jim to the house. They'd gone and messed with my things in the Living Room even when I said not to, and consequently threw away some of my things (this is why I told them not to!), but that aside, things were just starting, and underway. Andrew Nagel and Chris Steinwinder were there, and I think Wally showed up too during this afternoon-cinema, and it was all a lot of re-packing, throwing out what we didn't want, and selecting what we did, handing the boxes over to Ridgway and Nagel, and they'd take it down to Chris to be taken away. Sometimes, Ridgway would even come back. Nagel, on the other hand, stayed the whole way through 'til he decided we were probably not going to get it done that night, and left for a dinner with a girl.
But we weren't done, and I wasn't going to be done. The remnants of Ridgway's furniture gone, Chris Steinwinder also went home, and so did Wally, and Ridgway wasn't seeming like he was going to back. I remember Jim suggesting we just stop and give up, and I was fucking livid. I went into Pikey and instructed, "WE STAY 'TIL THE JOB'S DONE!" and, with that inspiration in us, we didn't dare cease. We boxed up fucking everything that was of use, and threw away tons of shit that simply wasn't. Variously, bits of (much appreciated!!) help would show up in the forms of Ridgway, Mike Kempton (AKA the good Mike), and Mr. Chandler Cord--a very cool dude from Jim's workplace. We all shot the shit while packing up old room mate's things from the closet (such as Thomas Bush's stuff--do you remember that fat bastard??), but ultimately they, too, needed to leave.
The only cats strictly with it the whole way through so far had been me, Jim, and Matt--and even Jim had his time kidnapped by Nikki. But we fucking pressed on.
~Wally Comes Through!~
One of the most prominent things in this was Wally. We got help from Chris, Nagel, Chandler, and Mike--I'm not denying that. But I thought in this event, the real tremendous source was Wally. He really went out of his way that last second when we needed him--we were on our "E" tank, and while he'd showed up to help last night and earlier this day, he did it again. Despite Brian, who never once showed up and had the kindness to say "I'm giving away your grill I was going to give you as a gift if you don't pick it up tonight" even though we couldn't 'cuz we were packing up (after helping him, and he wasn't here to help us! AND he gave it away before the night was over anyway!!), Wally was there 100%. He worked, and he over-worked, and he thought he still owed us. I thought he was out of his mind, but it's all perspective I guess. I know he got flack for it, but thanks again Wally. And everyone else, at that.
Finally, at ridiculous in the morning, we were more or less done. We didn't get done everything we wanted, mind--there was still lots of shit we didn't want discarded all around the house. There was still vacuuming, the cleaning itself to be done, but the packing? It was through. We'd packed and moved it all but the shit we didn't want, and a few remnants of Jim's room like a box here, and a battery generator there. Matt was definitely shot by now, so Ridgway took him home, and me and Jim--standing in the center of the mass--took one final look around, and then decided we needed a drink. James had recently come across a brewery for hard liquors that he appreciated and visited enough, and so he had with him a bottle of Hanger One Straight Vodka and St. George Single Malt Whiskey.
He gave me the whiskey, and we drank, and we reflected.
See, me and James had been on-and-off again room mates since 2002. The things we found backed up in that closet were things we saw in our day to day lives years ago, some of them even our own. We'd realized we'd come this long way, this tremendous friendship of ours, and though we had our rocky roads...they were brought about by outside people looking to rock the boat. The point is, we'd survived it all--the hardest times in my life were shared by James, and it was often me and James alone keeping a place afloat. We faced down poverty the likes of which made the poverty we faced getting back here from Florida look like child's play, and we walked home in the worst of storms, and we dodged the greatest of law suits, and weathered the worst of break-ups on our shoulders. ...We'd done it all, and this was one more notch of victory. We were damned pleased with ourselves.
Krystal, the downstairs neighbor, broke up this event by asking where Jasmine was, and Jim saw fit to give her our third bottle--the white brandy. I didn't approve, but hey, she left. And we decided, before it all gets interrupted again, we better leave.
After all, there was tomorrow. Jim had his first day of work, and we all volunteered to come back to do that cleaning--me, Matt, and Ridgway.
~The Cockroach Massacre of 2009~
Round Three. The final showdown with the Monroe apartments starred no one but me and Ridgway. Matt was too done in, and while I was absolutely sore to the limit by now, I can push through usually--and I did. It was up to me and Ridgway now, and no lie, he earned his manliness that day. We went back, and we spent the day cleaning the shit out of that apartment. While everything but a few (very heavy) things were taken that needed to be taken (these few things fit in his car), the place was far from over. There were piles, and piles, of trash and things to throw. Hundreds of little things, hundreds of large, large things. Many, many boxes, stuffed to the brim, with things. We worked muscles 'til they couldn't stands no more, scrubbed every corner, and pretty much kicked fucking ass.
One of the most satisfying events was The Cockroach Massacre of 2009. Basically, we moved the 'fridge to clean under it, and we found their...their base of operations? No, that seems too..small. Their congregation? Their country. There were thousands. It was ludicrous. I got the squirt-bleach, and the toilet-cleaner bleach, and with a Southern zeal that could only be described Yosemite-Sam, I proceeded to aniggalate them. I exploded every thing there was with bleach, dumping, spraying, crushing, it didn't stop. Then we'd move the 'fridge to a whole different spot, and there were just as many then too. ROUND TWO, I'd scream, and a "YEEEEHAW!!"...it was a stomping party with bleach. I think Ridgway might'a been terrified, but I was having the time of my life. It was revenge, pure and simple. There was a linoleum matt made of the same stuff the kitchen floor cut out and put under the 'fridge, presumably to keep it from scratching the surface...
When that was removed, I soaked it with bleach, 'cuz that's where they were most.
By the time I was done, there was probably a funnel-cloud of roach-souls exploding out of the walls of the apartment. It was great. And what's better? We cleaned that fucking place as spotless as it ever could be. Only one, final, challenge remained...it was easily the most difficult thing about this whole ordeal, and it was also the most satisfying of them all. Walker and Ridgway vs. The Couch! With a brief interruption by the apartment manager Tim (which it's funny, 'cuz the worst and best managers I've ever had were both named Tim...and this Tim wasn't the best.), we set to work on that couch, not at all prepared for what we had before us. To be frank, we were pretty done. I was extra done.
After all, we'd filled up three dumpsters worth of trash by the time this was done.
The couch wasn't a light beast. Maybe not the heaviest couch I've ever lifted--that'd be Patricia's one made of steel and hate back at the Townhouse--but it was not too far off. It was cheap, and everyone hated it, and we had no intention of keeping it. My only question was, how the fuck did it get *IN* here?? It was huge! And it didn't fit through that door. No, we tried. Every angle. Multiple times. Holding it in the air for hours, pushing for hours, shoving for hours, every possible way. It was always close, but never, ever, close enough. I was furious, absolutely enraged, and I was looking around--I thought, "If I could only smash it!" and I was thinking a hammer or something, thinking out loud. Ridgway looked like he wanted to give up, but I was too angry to. Then...suddenly. An idea.
My combat boots are steel toed. They're old, so they're God-awful terrible shoes--three years old, and I'm extremely hard on my shoes. But, the steel toes? Good as they've ever been. I slipped off my shoe, reared back, and began to smash it against the legs of the couch. The legs were made of plastic that were sealed into the couch, and screwed in with massive screws just in case. We had no other object to swing, no screwdriver to use, it was this and brute force or nothing--and fuck it if I wasn't angry enough. Ridgway stepped away, and watch me break thick, extremely hearty and durable plastics with a few clean smashes of the boot. Half of them were gone, and we then started for the door...no go. Then Ridgway and I had the idea to throw it out the fucking window, like we promised to do to Nagel and Peter's things in the past.
We had Adam move his fucking car (how he's not arrested yet is beyond me), and dragged it across the house, spent 15 minutes struggling to get it through Ridgway's door with every ounce of our might. In this process, I grabbed the end of the plastic that wouldn't break--the leg that refused to break by steel-toed hammer-boot!--and wrenched it completely off like a man's neck, twisting it around with a thunderous set of very satisfying snaps, and hurled it across the room. It fit. But not through the fucking window. What a fucking let down. I was running out of everything. I was mad. Ridgway wanted to try the door again now that I ripped a third off, figuring if I ripped the fourth off? We might have a shot...he might be right. We went to try, but the huge unforgiving cushions wouldn't give.
...Pulling it back to rest again, we heard jingles. I remembered it had my money.
I wanted to gut it, but I had no knife. Curse me, I didn't even bring my box cutter! If only I had something to cut with, if only!...wait. Another idea. I spied the legs with the screws poking out of the bottom of them, broken on the floor about the room. I picked one up, and using the screw, I slowly cut it all.
When Ridgway cut on, we proceeded to not only gut the couch's tummy and rip into it's back, we cut everything. Literally, every cushion, every ounce of thing in our way, we rended. We then broke it. We broke the shit out of this couch, no man would ever use it again, through rage and Ridgway's weight, it was finally done. I got a LOT of change from it, and we pushed it back to the door in it's skeletal, broken husk...still wouldn't fit, so fucking close. Finally, I said, I was gonna kick it. Ridgway fled down the stairs, and I eased back, and proceeded to give it the Hulk Hogan Big Boot with a charge. It erupted out of the door-frame and down the stairs. We had finally conquered the self-serving Demonic entity that was this couch, and we proceeded to haul it off to another dumpster. Fuck that fucking thing, and fuck anyone that complains about it being in their trash on Monroe Street.
~Aftermath.~
Jim came by shortly thereafter. All that was left was the vacuuming. One look at us, and he insisted he cover it. It took a while, but he did it. Then, we left. On the way home, Jim noted I'd been the only one there all day, every day, through all of it, like he was weirded out I'd do it. I reminded him he should know me by now--just like everyone from Rahan to Fax knows, I help people because that's what I do, and friends are even more to that. Sure, my things were pretty easily done. Sure 98.6% of what I did was every one else's problem, but that's not the point. We're a fucking team, and like I'd said several times before, teams need to fucking stick together. He dug it, and we went back to reminiscence of our long and checkered history 'til we got back...home.
You know, it's still interesting to call this place that. Home's still kinda the Monroe house for me, my aura hasn't settled into this new spot exactly yet. That's not to say I would prefer it there--fuck no. But, it's also not to say I won't miss the place. The single, most greatest moment in my life happened right there in 2129 Monroe Street. Because right there in that Apartment #3, I realized so much that it put me on a great path. Words cannot describe...words cannot describe how it felt to stand there, and look at that place, for one last time. I'm not ashamed to say it, I'm going to miss that place...it's the worst place we've ever lived, but a lot happened there. And just as quickly, we were gone to the next place, and I have a feeling it won't have the same impact on our lives. We'll see. For now? Time to move on. Finally, we were in December.
Getting On With Life,
Walker Pennington.
Thanks: I want to thank the people that helped us make that move. Wally, Randy, Mike, Chandler, Nagel, Chris--you were all tremendous. I'd like to thank my co-workers at Gyro's and PetSmart for being so tremendous and helpful in my life, and I'd like to thank the many that helped me get through my personal-life problems like The BSG (Chris, #2, Mitch, Zeke, Bender, Jacob, Kurtis...), Jesse, Hannah, Jamie, Derek, Sloan, Scott, Anna, Raph, both Sarahs...and finally:
Special Thanks: I'd like to say special thanks to Chris Steinwinder. Many people were there for me, but this dude went tremendously out of his way for me. He saw how absolutely horrid I looked when I heard the various bad newses with Jasmine (all three), and through many of my other hardships surrounding them, and he went completely balls-to-the-wall out of his way to see it undone and me restored. He kept me sane, when that was all but up. Thank you so much.
current mood: accomplished
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12:00 am - ~Shit Storms.~
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Alright, I promised everyone details on the last month or so. I know the last time we touched on any subject of real update was about a month ago (minus recording our incident in Sacramento), and even then it wasn't very detailed-oriented. I worried about upsetting people, tipping the scale the wrong way in some people's eyes, and then I realized...while I was biding my time, it's not very me-ish to keep things that level of bottled up. Like ol' Freddie D said, "You can't have something to say if you're always saying something. Right about now, I think I've been quiet long enough. So I'm gonna say something sayable! I'm a say something once! And I ain't never gonna repeat it again because this is how I'm feeling!"
So, to those that might take it to the chin, this is just how I feel. I've pretty much always called things the way I see it, and I'm not very subtle. We'll just walk down different points in this month, and see if we can clear up the noise.
~Unraveling~
The whole month things went on, keep in mind I wasn't doing so hot. Things had just gone from bad to worse, and there'd be a moment of hope before that was taken away along with something else next to it. Things got progressively worse, too; not only was I working very nearly 24/7 (I got maybe 12 hours of sleep a week), but things in my life weren't looking any kind of good either. My friend Sean (Walker #2) had been diagnosed with some unknown cancer, my professional life was looking like a roller coaster ride of sleep depravity, and my love life had sunk to the bottom of the ocean, under pressure and all. And that was just the *beginning* of the month. I wouldn't say I was suicidal, but I had them tendencies.
As if life was, quite frankly, not worth going through any more.
I've lost enough in my life, and maybe been in situations even worse than this, but it's the sheer volume of the problems--the several different ones almost as bad, if not just as bad, as older worst ones all at once--that really began to bring me down. The top of that list was, as everyone knows, the girl I'd been seeing previous to a little before the October month began. While she wasn't around much after her initial fallout with, well, Life, her impact on my life didn't pull any punches. I want to be careful what I say here, because while I don't want to not talk about the situation, I also don't want to take cheap shots at
Jasmine, or even give people the impression that I am.
Everywhere I went when it came to down time, there was a memory to be reviewed. You'd think, now I'm out of the apartment that I'd spent a tremendous amount of time with her, but I wasn't always gone from it originally, and Zeke's place isn't exactly any better. I ended up more or less living there during my run at Gyro's, since it was right there and made commuting easier on every. But..plenty of memories existed with her there, too. Thankfully, I didn't tell anyone about any of this, and I didn't let it affect my outside world--it just caged in my mind, where things would replay over and over, and pretty much drive me to a severe depression. My friend Aaron once compared this sensation to tar. He said:
"My thoughts and vision are so clouded right now that it's as if I'm drowning in a lake of molten tar. I can't even see my hands in front of my face. And I'm getting to the point that I can't take it anymore."
And that is exactly right. I couldn't even *begin* to say it better, myself. I was drowning in a lake of tar. But I thought, there was no way I was going to let this relationship fall apart. It was the most asinine, absurd decision that she had made so far. I knew I either had to fight or walk away. I almost walked away. I should have. I went to Zeke's after it was said and done and drank myself under a table over it, deciding I could do nothing. Ultimately, I changed my mind. To this day, that is probably my single biggest regret. At that moment, things were so fresh that I might have been able to fight the fight. By walking away, I would have let things smooth over so much that it might have caused her to reconsider at a later point.
But that's not my nature. My nature is to fight--"I'd rather fight than have sex, on any given day." I prolly didn't make things easy for her, in this respect, but I was way nicer about it then most. The more I tried, the farther I seemed to push things. My morale went into the toilet. I don't think anyone noticed but Jim and Zeke though, and possibly Brian, who are the only cats that have known me long enough to know me that well--to know the subtle nuances that show I am clearly way off my usual. As time went on, it became clear to anyone who knew me *that* well that emotionally I'd thrown in the towel. Zeke and James saw right through whatever great pretending I attempted, and each made their concerns very present.
Zeke wore a tremendous frown. He's one of those few guys that really thinks I'm worth every ounce of fight to keep me if a girl could, and to do otherwise was just ludicrous. He thought me and Jasmine looked good together, and he was disappointed that it'd gone this direction, and honestly so was James. I think it may have affected a lot of Jim's decisions from then on, he was so upset; surprisingly, he really was happy to see us getting together. It definitely figured into his attitude. He got very protective of me, but I assured him I'd end up ok. I don't think he believed me. All the same, I felt...at least she's still living with us, even if her time there wasn't often, and that'll likely increase the moment we get a new place.
I said to myself, just give it time.
I tried to concentrate, instead, on work. That's what I've always done when things got so miserable, was just to launch myself into work. People will recall hours and hours of drive-in dedication from my history--Hell, I'd go on days I wasn't even supposed to work. I'd just sit there, wait for a chance for work to present itself, and go full throttle 'til work was done, and drink up with Cody and Larry (and sometimes Dan) 'til the next day, and repeat the process. I didn't wanna deal with the loss of Abby, I didn't wanna deal with Sterling's death, the drama at the apartment. None of it. I wanted to put my eyes on, like Sarah said, something that gave me a clear-cut direction and purpose, a distraction.
And this time was no different.
Sometimes, it'd work. Hell, I imagine it worked a lot better than if not. But this wasn't the drive-in where you were the Gopher if you were a Projectionist; you didn't thread movies, then sell tickets, then check one-punches, then make food and clean out the popcorn machine, and thread more movies, then do security, and so on, every single day. Sometimes, you'd just be sitting there in the dark waiting for the next set of customers, or off in the dog food isle hucking bags into corners. Gives a lot of time for thought, and you can imagine what most of it was devoted to once again. This, combined with the severe lack of sleep that slowly started to really catch up to me produced an effect I like to call Unraveling, because my mind very obviously going a direction no one wanted it to go.
I think at one point I walked into the apartment for the first time in weeks, and James nearly clubbed me on the head to get me to sleep. Quite frankly, even when I rarely had the time to sleep, I didn't even want to. I was shot. And it only added to the roller coaster. Was I angry? Yeah. Sometimes I was depressed, sometimes just flat-out pissed. This was one of the most miserable times in my life, where everything I tried to achieve just absolutely fell apart, from trying to get money for a new place to failing at my multiple attempts to get Katie her much-needed swords. It seemed everything dried up, and no one wanted to help but me.
I'd lost my passion. I was so disillusioned and bitter and betrayed about everything that I didn't have the desire to wrap my head around much else. By the end of the month it went from tar to just plain brain-dead; my ends were fried, and my brain was burnt. Anything complicated just drew blanks for me, anything that required actual *thought* just made me wince. It didn't hurt, but it was like two magnets when they're placed with their like poles together; and when you place the like poles together, the opposing fields repel one another. Try it sometime, if you have two magnets around, to try putting them together backwards. It's exactly like that, any attempt to compute a truly thoughtful process just...pushed away.
I could do simple, very well practiced things no problem--typing, fighting games, cooking, anything that'd been done so many times that it didn't *need* thinking, but anything beyond that--even role-playing on AOL--I was just too fried to do. This sensation didn't let up 'til mid November, either...although it did dissipate. It was just a slow healing while I concentrated on the work in front of me, where I'd disengage emotionally as much as possible. So, like I said, a great deal of October's time was spent with me living at the Elliot's household, and getting twelve hours of sleep a week. That's how I handled business, and it actually went pretty well most of the way through...all things considered.
~Too Much~
~Gyro's~
The first thing to look at would be Gyro's, since it's the less recent of the news comparatively. Now, as some of you might remember, I wasn't sure about this Gyro's gig going in. If they'd asked Jacob, they'd have gotten someone so sure on signing up it'd have been hysterical, but I was never the run-around-scaring-people buff. I *can* and *have* scare people, but that wasn't through cheesy lines or banging on shit, just sheer size and legitimate problems with them. I'd heard about the Gyro's job shortly after landing, and was pretty sure when we got hired by Kirby that I wasn't going to do it. We were making "real money" was my theory, and didn't need to bother with a temp job.
Boy, was I wrong. And I'm glad I was!
While on the first day I was shaking my head with uncertainty, by the end of the gig I was almost sad to see it go! I say "almost" because, well, our voices were shot, and those of us with other jobs (such as Juan) were exhausted straight to Hell. But still, while I won't say we were friends with everyone there, a lot of people found a group of people they enjoyed seeing daily, and I was no exception. Hell, I had a rather large group of people I respected! All a buncha renegades in their own right, no one here was your traditional law-abiding citizen. Not to say that everyone were criminals, either, but everyone obviously marched to the beat of their own drum in life, and couldn't give a fuck what anyone thought of it.
~The Cast~
While I already knew Zeke and Rebecca, and to a lesser extent Juan, and I knew even less of Kassy or Skyler, but the majority of the people I came to know were new to me. The first people I'd gotten to see there other than Zergog (we'll talk on him later) were Angela Silva and Eddie Saenz, so it brought me some immediate relief that this place wasn't just a total clusterfuck of tomfoolery. They brought a professional air that Zergog simply didn't that really helped to balance out some of the actors coming through, but NO ONE presented that air more than Andy. Andy showed up to the first day in a full-blown suit, loafers and all! VERY classy, haha, I'd thought he was some kinda higher-up coming to oversee us! Introduced himself and everything.
I'm not clear what it is that Eddie did at Gyro's. He was only there for the first week before returning to his home in Sacramento, but it was clear he was instrumental. My theory is, he oversaw all of the work that wasn't acting or security. Since Zergog was traditionally next to useless, Rebecca did most acting and wardrobe projects, and Carlos being tremendously capable himself oversaw all of security. Anything else? Eddie was your guy. But that's just a theory. Anyway, I was surprised when he didn't stick around, but then again I'd been surprised he'd been there at all--someone from Sacramento working every day at THIS gig? Sounds like they should'a called Jacob down here after-all, it turns out Jake's worked for them before.
Angela, along with Diane Cortez and AJ, were our makeup people. I think we may have had a fourth wheel on the makeup bandwagon, but I never met the guy, so...anyhow, these cats worked their asses off on the two hour windows that we showed up to present us with scary faces. Angela and Diane did things like paint spray, touch-ups, blood, and do what's called prosthetic makeup, which is the process of using prosthetic sculpting, molding and casting techniques to create advanced cosmetic effects. They'd literally put a whole new eye over your old eye that was zombie-fied and terrible to behold, for instance. One of the hardest parts of prosthetic make-up is keeping the edges as thin as possible. They should be wafer thin so they are easy to blend and cover giving a flawless look. And they were flawless indeed.
The next people I really got to know were those in my immediate team. I say team, because they were, and if you read the last journal entry you'd see why. Alex Johnson and Gabe Garcia were in the rooms before and after my little hole in the wall, respectively. Alex's birthday occurs a day before mine (if I recall correctly) and he traditionally played the role of the Spider Man (not to be confused with Peter Parker). His room was decked out in spider stuff and had a small device that churned out the smell of heavy soil, like you might expect from a cave or freshly dug grave. He had a projector of a spider running at you that was tremendously annoying, and I nearly killed them when they cranked up the volume on it the final night!
Gabe, on the other hand, had a room with a skeleton feel to it. While less "decked out" then Alex, his projection (a mass of skeletons dancing around a bubbling pot of blood) was far cooler to watch (AND far less annoying to hear). Gabe was the guy I'd go to if I ever needed to step out, but I'd often find myself chatting with both during the down times to keep my mind free, and we'd all bullshit in Gabe's corner of the world (much to the ire of Rebecca haha XD)...and like I said, we helped each other a lot in the end. My ears wait for Alex's cry that scares people from his corner, they SHRIEK and come shuffling into the corridor to get away from that, and BOOM there I am!
As they're running away, I chase after. Pounding the walls above their head, a mere inches from their fleeing bodies, they're collapsing over each other, paying attention to me, pinning themselves against the wall and--while all that's going on, BOOM, there's Gabe in the next room I just chased them into, right next to them, they're absolutely not expecting him their terror's so on me, and it just completely drives it over the top. There's an energy, and it's a play like that which makes me, Alex, and Gabe do a fuckin' dance and grin. Even when they AREN'T so spooked to go running, trying to be tough or whatever, I'll still follow them. And they find it even creepier that I'll follow them anyway. And they watch me in case I got a new trick.
...Right into Gabe. We're supposed to scare 65% of our customers. I say we scare more like 95%. And the rest I'd say are jarred and acting up. More on that later.
We began a network from there. James was the next person from Gabe (not Erickson or Major, obviously) and before Alex was Ollie, so we stretched it out some. From there, beyond James was JJ, and beyond Ollie was Chris 138 (not Harris or Steinwinder or Merritt or Bennett). All these guys were some tremendous people, and they were probably the best part of the whole 4D experience. Other parts of 4D were questionable, some coworkers from PetSmart ended up going and they weren't impressed 'til that point, but I was solid that our little niche was a great success, and I was honored to work with them and get to know them as people and as friends. This, naturally, wasn't the only people in our little operation I'd gotten to know, however!
Some other names worth mentioning would be Ben David, Rocky Yong, ol' Phil and his girlfriend Karissa, Randy Clark, Robert Garcia, Raye, Andy's girlfriend Lenette, several Justins...the list goes on.
~Management: Gyro's Edition~
Management at Gyro's was ridiculous, at least as far as the acting side of things was concerned. It was the one thing that had made me real uncertain about working there at first, and even after I got exposed to other and better elements, it still had me raising an eyebrow. Even Rebecca, when she put her manager-cap on, had me shaking m head a few times. There's a certain way a company should be treating their employees, and that's not one of them. The man immediately in charge of us over Rebecca was a man named Zergog. Prolly I've mentioned him before, but I can't stress it enough, the man is something of a jabroni. I honestly fail to see what his job actually is, and not in the good way like Eddie. Eddie, you saw running around and doing things.
Zergog just walked around trying to remind everyone he was "the boss".
If you asked him, he would tell you that for the past eight years he's been the performance director for Gyro's haunted house, and that he hires, trains, and oversees the run of over fifty actors to scare the crap out of anyone "who dares to enter our asylum." But really, aside from the "hiring" process, he just walked around and griped for attention. Rebecca handled most of the real work. And by that, I mean drives them around, outfits them, plans what they should do...there is no "training". It's just, go in and go. I dunno, I suppose he wasn't the worst manager ever--that'd go to Eric Peterson--but he was bad enough to note.
Other managers to note was a man named Kurt who apparently oversaw finances, and was the guy me and Zeke worked for when hanging those signs. Indeed, the puddle of piss that refused to pay us our wage. The entire fucking run, we never got a dime of it, and we were supposed to get it before the show even began. He doubted we put anything up or that someone else took it down, and the boss--"Dan"--refused to step in and do anything about it, so it was just Kurt putting us off and us getting pissed. But Zeke didn't want to do anything about it 'cuz he needed the money, and Rebecca was a lackey to Dan anyway. We only ended up getting $100 each for the work, and Zeke kept my $100 to be paid back........some day. He needed the money. I was fucking livid.
The last manager to note was Carlos, the head of security. Carlos, as near as I can figure, is just downright awesome. His team is a buncha security buffs that basically do whatever they want to, and make sure that this chaotic world has some sort of balance after all. Anyone gets testy with us? Security throws them out. Sometimes literally. That's their job. Oh, and to close the various haunted houses down. They're split into three different houses--4D, Armageddon, annnnd...Hell, I don't even remember the last one. I just saw mine. Anyway, Carlos was legit and JJ was his brother, so everything was good in that respect. They offered me rum and employment, can't go wrong.
Above them all was Dan Nelson. Now, as we all know, when I think of "Dan", and especially when I'm working for one, I think Dan Frausto. But this wasn't him, no, this was Dan Nelson. Dan looked (and sounded) an awful lot like Kevin Pollak and was the owner of the business. In fact, he owned a lot of businesses, and was walking rich. Through him, I got to meet several stars, including Daniel Baldwin and Vincent D'Onofrio, which was great. But really, he was still no Dan Frausto. They'd call him "Dan the Man" and I just shook my head, haha--"No. I know who Dan the Man is, and that ain't it."
I don't think he much ran anything either, but I suppose when you're the owner you don't have to. He always treated me well, and he had a reputation for being fair. On my scale between in Manager Comparisons, he wasn't so bad off. But Zergog?...man. I'm not even sure how Zergog remained. One thing I did learn about Dan was, he liked money, and he cut every corner he could. If it meant throwing his team under the bus for a little more profit? Sure, no problem. Some people may wonder what it is I'm talking about, but if you worked there, you prolly already know. For instance, their policy on hours of work:
When we were brought in, we were told--straightforward--that we had to be here at about 5pm and we were done at 10pm for weekdays, and 12am for weekends. We got $35 for the long months and $50 for the slow nights, and that's before taxes obviously. Basically, that's what we got paid, which was less than minimum wage. When I explained it, Rebecca told me that we ACTUALLY didn't start to get paid 'til 7pm, and it was 7 to 10, or 7 to 12 respectively. Well that was certainly better, but how were they gonna insist we were here any earlier then seven o'clock?? But even if you could explain that, what was absolutely intolerable was keeping us after closing without getting paid.
Oftentimes, when in a place like this, you'll get stragglers. People who show up last minute, as you're closing the doors. You close them behind the people, and they do their thing and leave. This is true for any business, and while you're still serving them, you're still on the clock--you're getting paid for spending more time on the clock. Right? Makes sense. It's also not supposed to happen very often. Dan and Zergog, on the other hand, tell you to expect you to stay over, and did not pay you for your additional time. This also got increasingly worse as the weeks went on. They'd come get us at like 12:15 at first, then 12:30, 12:45...and that's just getting us.
By the end, my team of Alex, Gabe, JJ, James, Ollie, and Chris 138 would be joined by Lenette, and we'd wait...and wait...and wait...and then just leave, when we weren't supposed to. Not paying us? We're not staying. This became our ritual. But no matter when we were collected, we then had to sit for the meeting. "Meetings" here were a tremendous waste of time. If I had my own car, I'd leave every single time, but I had to wait. They really thought they could force someone to wait, too--I'd hear Rebecca or Zergog saying, "You have to stay for the meeting!" or shit like that.
Meetings consisted of Dan saying stuff about volunteering for Evil Jack points, Zergog parroting exactly what Dan just said word for word, and then plugging in his own local radio show. Then awarding some Evil Jack points to someone that didn't really do anything special. Yeah. Evil Jack Points.
~Jack Points~
Evil Jack is the mascot for Gyro's. He's a tall, Demonic jack-o-lantern with rows of sharp teeth and gleaming red eyes. And a knife. But when I hear the words "Evil Jack", that isn't what I think of...I instead think of Jim's evil genius character Evil Jack who tried to take over the world, one quarter at a time, haha! Anyway, associated with this mascot are "Evil Jack Points". Jack Points were Gyro's attempt to motivate their employees to do several different voluntary deeds, such as spending entire days promoting their event by walking the streets in makeup and delivering fliers to passer-bys, or the grueling task of putting up, repairing, or taking down the entire three houses of the Gyro's thing itself. Sure, Dan Nelson would also buy pizzas, but I mean...a few bucks at Little Caesars did not replace true hourly rates. What were they good for?
Jack Points were worth Jack Shit.
Theoretically, you could get Evil Jack merchandise with them. Shirts, bottles, hats, jackets, sweatshirts...the list doesn't go on. That's the end of it. And these were all things we could get for free anyway, if you knew who to ask. (Like Zeke.) Even if you COULDN'T get them for free, the trade-off just wasn't spectacular enough for me. I usually love to volunteer and help people out, but this wasn't volunteering, this was being a cheap-ass--especially when Zeke informed me that, previously, they PAID their people to spend all those hundreds of hours doing those jobs. This year was different, evidently due to the recession. The scope of just how bad things were at Gyro's would not reach us until some time later, however. For now, most people just laughed when Jack Points were offered--myself the loudest. I'd say:
"Oh hey, Jack Points! Do Jack Points pay the rent?"
"...Well, no..."
"...Do the Jack Points fill up my gas tank?"
"...Uh..no..but..."
"OOH! Do Jack Points get me a lot of food? Maybe from Jack in the Box? That'd make sense!"
"Well...um, no...but uh...we buy you pizza?"
"How many?"
"Oh you'd get two slices!"
"....... No."
~Gyro's Outside Of Gyro's~
Usually, many nights consisted of us getting off from our posts and getting rides where needed. The most popular lineup for rides was actually what we deemed to be the "Nerd Ride" or "Nerd Mobile" or any other variation you can think of. Basically, it was Juan's large truck fitting me in the front seat, and in the back it'd be Andy, Lenette, and the Zekester 'cuz he didn't wanna wait for Rebecca, who was on salary so had to stay behind 'til everything was said and done. THOSE were fun trips. We nerded out about every damn thing, from anime to cell phones. You name it. It was a lot of fun just shooting the shit outside of work. Gyro's was, if nothing else, a good venue for making good friends.
The other things that happened when work wasn't in order was to party. They were rare, but we did them, and what we could get were a lot of fun. Randy and Raye would gather Chris 138, Justin, and others while we got Juan, Zeke, Rebecca, and so on, and we'd all go to the Elliot's home. We weren't slobbering drunk fools like some parties, I don't really see the point of parties that tear a house up and you wake up not remembering a thing next to some other girl or guy you've never met huggin' 'em or whatever...party animal-type bullshit just never made sense. But having good times, drinking to drink, playin' some games (board or video) or even just shooting the shit or watching movies, that's all tremendous.
A large gathering of friends? Makes perfect sense to me.
Plus, whiskey was the only well in my life that was running deep at this point, and I took full advantage of it. We tried to get Andy or Lenette along, or any of the others for that matter, but that just didn't work out. Anyway, it was good times. We'd often spend the whole lot of time playing Halo (or for me, playing King of Fighters with Randy 'cuz we rock the 2D Fighting Games), and a lot of Kessler. Kessler is not my whiskey of choice, but as far as the cheap-ass whiskeys go, it's prolly the best on the line, and that's what Zeke would buy--along with some Coor's beer. I'd bring the jar of Captain Morgan's me and Jasmine never finished off, and Juan often brought other things like Malibu and Sparks. With our powers combined, no one left home sober. In fact, no one left usually.
Unfortunately, the parties also weren't long-lasted. We had very limited hours to work with, and when we did them, it was after working tremendously exhausting shifts. With my job pairing with Gyro's, I was just utterly exhausted and often fell asleep!
~If I Were In Charge~
Working at Gyro's, you found plenty to complain about. I want to make it clear, however, that I'm not saying I could possibly do better. I'm saying I could *absolutely*, do, better. If I was given creative control of Gyro's, there'd be so many changes, I can't even begin to tell you...what Gyro's had was a lot of cheap scare tactics to rely on, and not much else. Their slogan was that everything was "4D", with the theory that there was a fourth dimensional effect in our company's work. In physics and mathematics, a sequence of n numbers can be understood as a location in an n-dimensional space. When n = 4, the set of all such locations is called 4-dimensional Euclidean space.
Such a space differs from our more familiar three-dimensional space in that it has an additional dimension, indistinguishable from the other three. This fourth spatial dimension is a concept distinct from the time dimension in spacetime, since time is functionally very different from any of the spatial dimensions; formally, spacetime is not an Euclidean space but a Minkowski space. In short, there is absolutely no fucking way we have this available to our crowd. Instead, what they meant was that we have the sensation of smells available to our experience. Now, a room can smell like a swamp, or a cemetery. The fourth sense was accomplished, not the fourth dimension! That's not a slogan you bank on.
Secondly, smells are what you're hoping will attract your people in a horror house?? I mean, the rest of it is just cheap walls painted black, and even cheaper stuff decorating it. None of the props looked real. The knives were plastic, the skeletons were plastic and goofy-looking (seriously, cartoon eyes? and tiny at that, only the size of a doll!), they used spray-paint that glowed in black-light for effect, I mean...it's sad. So, they rely totally on us, and they've a set method of creating terror. Sometimes I'd think about how I would do it if I were running things. I go back to that formula Eric Bischoff used with Nitro—SARSA. Story, anticipation, reality, surprise, action.
Action is pretty easy to create in a haunt. But it’s not the only thing in scaring people--it’s just one of those five elements. The others are just as important and usually even harder to create. Gyro's thinks they can force-feed conflicts to the audience without bothering to make them believable. The scare suffers as a result. The scaring is suffering because the reality is suffering. You require story, and you require ambiance, and build-up. And if you have a weak story and no reality, then you don’t have anticipation--because no one really cares enough to anticipate it. We did the best that we could in our little corner of the world, but Gyro's suffered as a result. Elias and Josh made sure to point that out in their run-throughs. About the only things *really* believable outside of us, as far as I saw, were Zeke running around with a real-life chainsaw. THAT'S the kind of shit they needed.
If I was in charge, first and foremost I'd work on that setting. You need ambiance, like I said, and screeching one-second-long videos on a wall don't do it justice. No one gives a crap about looking at 3D screens through glasses when they're here to be scared. It's cool, but...wrong venue. The spraypaint glowing in the blacklight also doesn't make sense--this is a horror house, not me and Alex tagging a wall in 2002. Sure, maybe somewhere, but certainly not written out or goofy skeletons or shit like that. Come on, we can use better effect! If we had sound systems to use, which we did, I'd instead use them for environmental sounds; ambiance was already mentioned--you know, the low rumbling of a place. Hands thudding around over and over everywhere would be cool, in all the walls. Maybe scrapes here and there, or that...really unpleasant sound of demonic groans going off in unison. Thunder.
You know. Environment. And not DJ music blaring love songs and techno.
Also, if we were gonna decorate, let's go top-notch. Real-looking skeletons, no eyes. No fake masks, all prosthetics (there were a few people with wolf masks and crap, for instance). Real knives; not sharp at all mind you, but make 'em metal man! Toss some corn syrup and red dye onto them sumbitches! Buy a few granite gravestones for the site of your graveyards, right? Sure might be more pricey than cardboard, but they'll last very nearly forever, and it'll give the look a person *wants* when showing a performance. Better hiding spots, and more to it than just pop out and scream--you could have whole *skits* in there.
One of the cool things me and Juan came up with is, while he's walking through (because he wanted to scope out our part of the place) was that I beat up on him. Not anything serious, some harmless slamming, but it's *look* real enough (especially in the poor lighting) that any e-thugs thinking the place just wasn't scary would suddenly think twice when a seemingly random customer got hucked into a wall. It just makes sense to be innovative in a business like this. Creativity is what makes money! You're *entertainers*, don't rely on some piece of crap anti-Glade Plug-in to win you the big bucks just 'cuz a room now smells like *dirt!* God DAMN! And this is just the start. There's a lot one can do to fix a place like this to being even better.
~Clusterfucks~
One of the biggest troubles was crowd control. The idea of a place like this is that they're supposed to only allow entry to a few people at once. Unfortunately, no one ever listened to this. The guy in charge of the door was Mike Townley, but he was often in the bathroom talking to his girlfriend who was breaking up with him--it was a bad month for relationships, so I didn't blame him too much. The end result was people pouring in through the beginning of the maze! They come in lines, and especially in my little area, it made things very difficult at first. You can either scare the first person through, or the last few through, but the sheer quantity had you completely missing the middle. SOMETIMES, people would get scared that were there, but sometimes they just shrugged. You had to change it up.
And I did.
Often, this consisted of following them, and smashing walls. And we pounded the Hell out of those walls! That's when we came up with various scare tactics we did that included Alex and Gabe and networked to the others. We knew when each of us were going off, the basics were that it started with Chris 138 screaming "MY CAAAAVE~!!" and it'd go from there; Ollie would scream "GET OUT! GET OUT!!!" and then Alex would make a sound--originally just a sharp hiss and slam, and then he changed it up to just screaming in terror right next to their ear, right into me. And I'd just roar real good, or throw out some lines. Then into Gabe, who's make a shrill cry at them from behind them 'cuz they were lookin' at me, and then me and Gabe chased them through the Skeleton room into James and his pitch fork in the pitch black, that he would slam--and sink--into the walls, rattling the foundation. And they'd flee into JJ. It was a hoot.
The last few nights was very literally a conga line of people. It never ended, for hours.
~Toughguy Boyfriends & Cheerleader-Type Girls~
One of the more interesting things was the variety of people that came through, but there were some stereotypes, and the most amusing ones were the tough-guy boyfriends and the cheerleader-types. Tough-guy boyfriends were the kind of people that thought of themselves as too manly for a haunt, but it was a good place to bring their girls and they often did. They'd bring 'em through so that we'd scare them, but weren't being interested in being scared themselves, and had no problems telling you just how scared they weren't (which, to me, was a challenge to just scare them anyhow!) They'd do typical shoulder-checks and upturn-nods, an occasional "sup?" and always some line about how they "saw me" or that they're not afraid. I'd usually let them know that their seeing me wouldn't change anything.
It usually didn't, they'd get scared 'fore it was over, if for no other reason than they would stare at me to prove they weren't afraid for Gabe to get 'em.
The other even *stranger* stereotype were the Cheerleader girls. Now, I'm not saying I know for sure that everyone of this type was, in fact, a cheerleader...for all I know, none of 'em were, and I missed the real cheerleaders who went through there, but they were the athletic, all-American-girl faced, and typically blond type of girl that matches the looks of Hayden Panettiere very closely in resemblance. THOSE kinds of girls. They were straenge and amusing because they were the one type/category of person consistently *not* afraid of anything. You could do it all, and they were--at best--amused, and at worst, bored. I could have prolly killed one of them in front of the other, and they'd'a just shrugged! Maybe Heroes had the right idea casting after all, because nothing budged these little ones, and it was just both funny and impressive!
~Replacements~
Sometimes, things beyond Gyro's control would unfortunately happen as well. One of these would be when one of the people in our network wouldn't be there that day, and that person was replaced. Rather than finding new ways to fill the room, they'd just refill that person's role, and it was about as ridiculous sometimes as Rick Bogner playing Razor Ramon instead of Scott Hall, or Glenn Jacobs portraying Diesal instead of Kevin Nash! And they were always terrible, pale imitations compared to their original, with the exception of Raye who did the best she could with what she had to work with (she ended up replacing Alex once and Ollie once). It was abysmal. One complained endless about when he had to replace Gabe or James, and the another was famous for replacing Alex for only an hour, before leaving Gyro's entirely because his break didn't come quickly.
...What lame-asses. Seriously.
~Break The Walls DOWN!~
The final weekend of Gyro's was intense. Like I mentioned before, it was a conga line of people flowing down the rooms and hallways we were all in. It was *also* a lot of fun. There wasn't any time for hiding again at all, and my personal hide-spot was useless by now anyway--the weeks had seen hardships for the black cloth, and most of it had been pulled down. And by the end of the weekend, it'd all be gone, because I wasn't taking anything softly. Often, this consisted of us just scaring people constantly using anything we could--there was no hiding-to-surprise, so it was scaring them through genuinely making them feel in danger. The walls got to be the basis for most of this.
This was our final performances, and I wasn't going to take it easy on them. For performance sake, me and James had already done some minimal damage to the walls, but now we were going all out--especially me. I broke those walls down. When people ran, I came after them and kicked just above their heads, sinking my foot into the wall they were next to. I'd slug holes into every place they were, making sure to lunge at them in a manner that showed I was coming so they'd move--and *JUST* a hair before their move, is when my fist would be there. I roared, I shredded, and I threw chairs, and the very foundation paid for my performance. I was damned proud of myself for that much carnage. And people were *terrified*. It was great!
We didn't even get to leave our *stations* until 2am, and we did not get paid for those last two hours, although me and my crew, we stayed true to the plan, and refused to stay after a certain amount of time. We told Zeke we'd do him a favor and wait 'til 1, buuut...I just don't have respect for a company that doesn't pay it's employees, or tries it's best to do as little as possible. Between Kurt (or whatever his name was) not paying us for the signs and Zergog and Dan not paying us for staying over for stragglers and forced meetings and demanded two hours of makeup, we had no idea just how truly tremendous these cheapasses would be. I thought Dan was an alright guy, if not a cheapskate...but, the level of failure to pay up would be legendary.
The last night was pretty tremendous. Everyone had gone from being complete strangers to being a (very) ragtag sort of family. Rebecca was furious with my little group for leaving early, but I just called out that "you don't pay me? I ain't sittin' in freezing cold for two hours!" and I got cheers and props. Andy said something like, "did I ever tell you I love you?" Hahaha..I didn't mean to put down Rebecca, but her tone and demands had always been a little dictator-esque at Gyro's anyhow. She's still my friend, and friends remind their friends when they're being unreasonable, right? Right. I said goodbye to everyone, and tried to get every single soul's number--to keep in contact, even though I had no car to see them often with. Carlos and JJ, who were brothers, brought by a water bottle of rum and coke, and we drank and Carlos insisted I come back next year as security for his team.
I agreed. Carlos was a great guy, and I saw it as a fun opportunity.
~PetSmart~
PetSmart was the other, more mainstream, job I'd been working at around this same time, and continued to work at well after Gyro's was over. While Gyro's was very taxing for all it's running around, PetSmart was a kind of taxing because it required a great deal of heavy lifting...something I generally don't mind, which is why Peter Yee hired me. He figured my large size would lend itself to quickly doing jobs with large bags (Dog food, Kitty litter), and I could work for very long amount of times without getting tired. If I hadn't been working all the time at Gyro's, that would have been even true for October, and for most of it, it was. Initially when I was hired, Peter said I was going to be working for only ten hours a week from 4am 'til 9am, on Wednesday and Friday, and rarely weekend evenings. That stability didn't last.
~The Crew~
The people immediately in my section of work originally consisted of Elias, Jim, John, Joe and our lead Denise. I got to meet Jim and Joe first, and it was Joe that showed me the initial ropes--in fact, Joe was pretty much the only guy (other than Elias) to do anything that could be considered "training". Most of this job, they just expected you to know what the fuck was going on, and counted it as a mistake when you didn't. I was ok with that, I figure I'll learn via trial and error--a kind of learning I'm obviously good at! Joe seemed likable enough, but unfortunately for me, I wasn't hired to be his co-worker, I was hired to be his replacement. It turns out Joe was, according to Peter, not the best employee, and the very next day in, Joe was given permanent suspension. He was real depressed for a bit after that.
As I've said before, Jim reminds me of an older Ridgway. Same build, same mannerisms, same general looks. He's very wiry, but full of energy, and he uses the knowledge he's gained working here longer than any to chuck out what he needs to do quickly and efficiently. Why he isn't a manager, or at the very least doesn't have Denise's job, is absolutely beyond me. He absolutely should be the shift lead, no question, and not even Denise denies this fact. He's very serious and dedicated to his job, no doubt. John, on the other hand, is another great guy with a much more zippy and comical personality; that is to say, he's always got a smile on his face, and is always doing things that are cheerful and full of good spirit and nature. He takes practical jokes well, and laughs a lot, which is good because Elias is do those jokes. Both are tremendously helpful when you need them!
Elias was the next guy I met, and he and I hit it off really well. Elias and I both grew up in impoverished lives, at about the same time, and in neighborhoods that were similar to each other. We had the same street mentality and a lot of what we talked about was consistent with the way we grew up. So when Elias would bring something up, I related to it right away. He was also extremely helpful in getting me up to speed, because during what few times we got to work with each other, he was very informative and always insisted I go to him to find where things go rather than anyone else. When I felt bad that I wasn't as fast as, say, John or Jim, he insisted that a) we're big guys, and b) I'm still new. I shouldn't be stressing over this or that, if Denise yells it's not my fault, because I'm doing the best I can. He's been a real good friend, through and through.
I've met other people in PetSmart by now too, and many of them seem very cool; Josh reminds tremendously of Mr. Kennedy and (as near as I can figure) runs Doggy Day-Camp, a place people take their dogs to be babysat, and Geoff is actually a fellow gamer who trains the dogs. Fern and Stephanie run the fishes, Ariana and another Stephanie are apart of Grooming with Marcus as their manager, and Sherri runs small pets and so on. Like I said, I got along with nearly everyone. Then again, I'm as apolitical as possible. I don't hang out with too many people, 'sept maybe Elias, or whoever's in the back room. For the most part, when I show up, I read a book or work on this journal entry, and stay out of everybody else's way.
~Management: PetSmart Edition~
Peter Yee was the man that hired me when I came to PetSmart looking for a job. He was a somewhat portly man of Asian descent, but to hear him speak would immediately tell you he probably was born here. Besides being PetSmart's hiring man, Peter was also house manager of PetSmart. This meant Peter oversaw the store, the employees, and inventory and stocking. He worked closely with his boss on store issues and store planning. But the first day I met him, I could tell--very clearly--he was not at all meant for this job. He didn't inspire inspiration, and he didn't know what he was doing--and that was even more evident the more I worked with him, from the way he tried to get more sales (it was always about numbers and trying to get customers to want more of our product) to expecting miracles in places he wouldn't find any.
I want to make it clear: I didn’t like working for Peter Yee at the time. Peter Yee was--I won’t say a tyrant, but he was a miserable Human being. A lot of that had to do with the fact that he reported to his boss and had to take a lot of that boss's shit. Peter had to support his boss's decisions, whether he agreed with them or not. He had to be his hatchet man. Peter took responsibility for a lot of what that man chose to do. It was a miserable position to be in. One of things I respect about Peter Yee is that he's an incredibly hardworking, loyal person. If the guy above him says, "This is what I want to do," he goes and does it with one hundred percent effort. With respect to whoever ran things, that put Peter in a very difficult position.
Peter believed that, if he told his lackeys--us--that he really wanted the numbers to go up, this would somehow translate into the customers doing what we wanted. So, telling us would make us come up with some incredible, brilliant plan to make the changes necessary so that customers would become suddenly very much wanting to buy everything we had and leaving their dogs here for hours in the meantime. I'll give you an example: Josh is the guy who runs Doggy Day Camp. This is one of the few stand-along Doggy Day Camps in the nation, most of them are connected to hotels. And in that respect, it is the best Doggy Day Camp of it's kind in ratings. Still, Peter is comparing last year's numbers to this year's for monetary expectations, and is then *also* adding a 75% to it. ...Did he miss that we were/are in a recession or something? And he'd sit there and tell Josh, "We need to get this up!" and wait for Josh to get it, as if Josh didn't know this already.
...Or like, Josh was supposed to do something different than stand behind the counter when a family brings in their dog to be taken care of. The Hell did Peter want, for him to do a dance outside with a sign? Fat chance!
Another example is the first day he and I worked together. It was for something called a Hole's Report, which is where you go down the isles and find a place where there is no product, theoretically because it's sold out. Then you go check that bar code with the inventory to see if it's really a sold-out item, or if it's actually just misplaced, and then you go and find such an item by digging around the shelf, then the back room on the palettes, and if you found it on a palette you had to work that WHOLE palette as if it were a brand new palette right off the truck, and put everything out that you can fit out. It was kinda bullshit, but I'd'a been find if I had any idea what I was doing--I know *now*, but then he was just babbling out nonsense and showing me a piece of paper that made even less sense than his words.
When things don't go right and exactly as Peter expected--which apparently was often--he had this habit of panicking. This was another reason he just wasn't good at being the store manager, he was absolutely not leader material. He couldn't inspire his troupes to do better at doing things faster by being their fellow man and getting his hands just as dirty as them, he couldn't relate to anyone, he had the social skills of a...well, not. He couldn't take the heat. In this instance, he kept telling me that we had to get it done by 9am. I'd say I'd try, still confused. Finally after the third time of him telling me this within a thirty minute period, I just looked at him and said, "Sure, absolutely, but I've never done this before. I'll do the best that I can, but if you need this done by some certain time, possibly you should have brought someone more experienced to do this with me. I'm new."
He just stared at me for a good, long minute. He couldn't compute his own error. Then he fled into the office and called in Jim and locked himself in there for the rest of the day, panicking. I'd never seen anything like it. On the grand scale where Dan Frausto ranks #1 in Manager material, and Eric Peterson ranks the lowest, Peter wasn't far off from Eric. He wasn't an asshole, but he was helpless and silly at best. Peter Yee, because he was so miserable, contacted Vince. It became obvious to Peter that someone else would hire him. So Peter called his boss and asked if he would let him out of his contract and he could quit. And quit he did indeed, leaving Genie and Denise in charge of the store until a new store manager would take his place. This started whole new problems, but we'll get to that later.
Seriously, I could'a brought in Dustin Welton at the drop of a hat to take ovwer Peter's job, and he'd do a tremendously better job on last-minute short notice.
Denise seemed to be an ok person with me, but my friendship with her has diminished little by little as things went on. I'll cover this later, but for the most part, I've never minded working for her. She's the kind that'll work you until the last minute, but if you do a good job, she generally finds you a good addition to her team...but I think it's more in the way that she finds you useful, rather than really important as a person. Her biggest issues have been with the assistant manager Genie, and they tend to have conflicting goals; Denise wants things to go out as much as possible because our back room is pathetically small, and Genie wants less things stacked around so that they look pretty to a customer. It's very Dwarf-vs-Elf mentality, for a brief D&D sideline. And they often didn't talk out these problems.
Genie, herself, is pretty cool too, in most instances. She's caught between a rock and a hard place being both the girl that kind of runs things and also the middle-man for a lot of important concerns fielded from the people working under her. She's too cautious to really befriend anyone, and that's mostly to do with a time previous to my working there where she had a friend that was an employee that ended up stealing from the store. Genie didn't know about it, but she did get questioned after her friend raised red flags, and she did tell that friend that she was questioned. They didn't like that, and removed Genie, nearly firing her under the grounds of "fraternizing" with this girl. ...Like, suddenly, it's wrong to have friends in the business?? Fuck that, and fuck PetSmart for thinking so. I love what friends I've made at the place, and I'm not backing down for any.
That being said, Genie is waiting 'til one of us leaves 'fore she'll add me as a friend on Facebook or MySpace, hahaha. She's that worried about being fired.
~Issues With The Job~
The job, itself, sounds pretty plain: Our job is to fill the inventory on the shelf where it'll fit. Take palettes off of a truck, take them down to their isle, huck items into spaces, and you're good. Unfortunately, it's not that simple at PetSmart. Now, despite the fact that I've carried several inventory jobs in my time, I've never been a stocker...which is strange, 'cuz I'm a big guy and you'd think I'd fit right in there, right? But anyway, it's been told to me by people who have had stocking jobs that this isn't really how other stocking jobs are done compared to how PetSmart does it. We don't just stock an item, we also create places for them, and search things down, and basically do a lot of the jobs that managers are supposed to be doing. A lot of this is due to the lack of employees working there.
One of the biggest issues I have is the fact that we are so tightly timed. I understand we shouldn't sloth our duties to the point where not getting anything done, but most stores leave ample amounts of time for stockers of all shapes and sizes to get things done. Safeway, for instance, generally stocks somewhere around midnight, or earlier, depending. Each palette is, by company policy (or so I'm told), supposed to only take one hour exactly. Denise expects it done by even less. On big things, like dog food and kitty litter, people like me and Elias have no problem with this. We're large, and we can lift plenty at once, and it just goes out no problem. Smaller items though--leashes, cat cans (or *any* cans really), shit like that, we just don't finish as fast as, say, John or Jim.
Not to be offensive, 'cuz I love 'em, but Jim and John are skinny fucks. You don't hire big fellas to be speedy at delivering a buncha little things or dexterous, you hire us people like Elias and Walker to deal with your big things without tremendous effort and to have high endurance--we keep on keepin' on without any trouble. So, for Denise to compare us to Jim and say we aren't working fast enough? Especially when I was new, it didn't make sense to me. I wasn't tremendously slower, and when you're a new guy, it's expected that you're still finding things. That's when Elias gave me the speech about how I shouldn't let it get to me, and that kind of mentality just totally made sense for me. Especially coming in at four in the morning. Come on.
Overstocking was another bitch of mine, although this was less management's fault, and more just PetSmart as a total. In most jobs with a big inventory, there is a system that, if someone buys something in that inventory, it's bar code is scanned and that item is then flagged in the system as having been purchased. This is a clue for the inventory guy to then order more of this to replace what is on this list that is missing...right? Well, not at PetSmart. Instead, it appears that it's all guess work, and it shows. We get *tons* of supply that is, literally, nothing but overstock. We'll get a palette, and all manner of the product on it is so stuffed already, it'll have it's own section of the back room dedicated just to putting more of them up. It's sad.
One of the biggest problems we had was an issue of sickness. Genie came to work while sick, and got John sick and, eventually, me sick as well. This turned into a really big incident for everyone in our section. I came in most times, but there was two times where I just wasn't having it--I was sick to the grave. John also called in several times. It was bad. Unfortunately for me, one of those two times I tried to call in, I was threatened with termination for having taken too many days off, and like John, I was forced to come in--against CDC procedure--and work while I was very ill. And, like John, we were sent back home after they saw we couldn't work. But they literally thought we were lying. This was after Peter left, so it was just Genie and Denise now running things. Bad idea.
The reasoning behind all of this--or at least that I've been told--is that PetSmart employees are only allowed six days off a year. I'd had five so far...one was to visit Sean when I found out he had cancer, it was a huge deal to me and I wasn't going to let PetSmart keep me around when I could be going to my brother's side to give him a damn good send-off 'fore he went to get blasted with radiation. It was a lot of fun to go with Zeke and Becca hang out with him, Jake, Sarah, Jonathan, Bobby, no lie, but it was also very depressing to see such hard times fall on my brother. Genie said I should take a second day off for it, and when Jim insisted I don't go to work, I took her up on that offer.
In another incident, Rebecca flipped out when she didn't take her meds for her bi-polar because she forgot that I'd told her I had work in the morning. She didn't want to take me, and I had no money to make it happen, and no bus started up at any point where I could get from South San José to Sunnyvale by 4am. It was just impossible. So, I called it in, and apologized profusely. The next time there was an issue, Peter had forgotten I worked at Gyro's, even after I filled out paperwork with Genie that specifically stated I could *not* work on the weekends at PetSmart. Genie cleared it 'til Gyro's was over, and during this point, Gyro's was still in effect and when Peter scheduled me for it, I called him and told him, "No. This wasn't part of the deal." He ended up having to call someone else in, and this was considered an absence and my fault...I guess.
Then came this sickness. I called in once, and this second time I called in, they forbid it on the grounds that I'd had five absences already and I was only allowed six. The Hell? Then give me six! They were also pissed that I didn't call an hour before my shift. Well, the PetSmart store opens up at 4am, and I was scheduled at 4am. There's no one there before then, and PetSmart has absolutely no answering machine. I know right?? What kinda company doesn't have answering machines?! So, that was impossible, and the fact that I'd had five incidents plus I didn't call an hour beforehand caused them to not only threaten to fire me if I didn't get in there and work despite being sick, but to get written up for the deed. In fact, by now it'd spread to Elias, and he took days off as well.
The end result is, we all got written up for taking days off for being sick. Not just me, not just Elias, and not just John, but all of us. That last write-up got Elias fired even, on Thanksgiving...what poor taste. Except Genie, who took days off and had attendance issues but, of course, is running the show and would never write herself up. Hell, there was a point where Genie flat-out no-call, no-showed. I've never done that once in my entire life, I've always called and kept right on trying to call 'til I got someone. It's shit like this that gets me mad, these special interests that broke apart a friendship with me and Nick Troyer. When managers do unto others as they don't do to themselves, it just bugs the rebel in me. When Denise yells at John and Elias, for example, for exchanging a few words with one another, and then goes and has a half-hour conversation with Fern or hangs out in Grooming just gabbing away, it's just unacceptable.
(Seriously, who doesn't have an answering machine at their place of business? James could fix their overstocking problem AND give them voice mail all with one machine, and it wouldn't even take him a week! Seriously, hire someone, guys!)
Anyway, I remember that last day of Gyro's, I was beyond dead in the morning from the night right before--Friday night, which was just as bad as the last night would be. I remember telling them, I'm gonna be tired--real tired, I'm gonna be slow, don't expect much. I got in trouble for being slow when I said I'd be slow anyway. They were supposed to tell me what I was supposed to do, and I would do it to the best of my ability. That's how I work. I didn't expect them to be *happy* about it, but I at *least* expected them to understand. But, they just looked confused after I explained it to them only an hour before about why things weren't optimal, and then lectured when I gave them the same answer. I didn't get it, and this wouldn't be the first time. But it lead me to...
~Best Buy~
Best Buy actually gave me a call about getting a job. They really wanted someone, and so I came in. It was a great interview, and I'm sorry it never became anything more--apparently, they had a tremendously large pool of people to select from. But, on the table was a full time job making more than PetSmart gave me per hour, guaranteed, for eight weeks--and more if they liked me. I said I'd take it in a heart beat. This wasn't out of any desire to leave PetSmart aside from the tomfoolery listed above, at this point I just wanted more money--and still do. They wanted me in sales, which is a venue I excel at a lot better than others because, despite my initial appearance throwing people off, I'm actually really good with people. What's more, they wanted to put me into video games. Who knows, maybe they'll pay me a call soon anyway.
The only other place that had wanted to hire me so far was Cutco, courtesy of Matt Townley, intending to hire me for $16 an hour..but in that it was similar to when we worked for Kirby, it had a little flaw to it. This flaw was that, unlike Kirby who drove you from appointment to appointment and got those appointments for you (or was supposed to), Cutco wanted you to show to your friends, and then get them to tell THEIR friends, so that word of mouth would get you business. A neat idea, but I'm not a soccer mom nor do I have soccer moms for friends. No middle-class family looking to buy a tremendous knife set. I'm just flat-out broke, and know only flat-out broke friends, and with no car or ability to get my own customers without door-to-dooring (something I wasn't willing to do), I declined the offer. But they'd made it hard, because they really wanted me.
This is all a tremendous set up for what we like to call, Shit Storms. Part 2's coming.
To Be Continued...
Walker Pennington.
current mood:  productive
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 25th, 2009
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1:31 pm - ~Survive.~
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"Life for you's been less then kind..? Well, take a number, step in line! We've ALL been sorry, we've ALL been hurt...but HOW we survive, is what makes us who we a-are~!" - Rise Against, "Survive".
It's six o'clock at night. The weather's finally turned slightly crisp, a tad on the chilly, and this ability to see my breath ever-so-slightly as I breathe brings my memories back to a different place...always, in this weather, does my mind go back to Sacramento, or Sunnyvale, during the times when great cold was constant, and we were poorer than we are even now. When the *true* definition of "the struggle" was performed, and the whinging of today's impoverished is scoffed at briefly by those who went through the worst with me...those who allow themselves to remember, anyhow.
Matt is nearby, taking away my book. Eric Bischoff's "Controversy Creates Ca$h" on the grounds that neither he nor I are allowed to have nice things--God obviously decreed it so, we're still doing horrendously, both financially and spiritually. Our luck is never to our favor. But while I jest with him, my mind isn't fully here. I've consulted the Bischoff since my last journal entry didn't fare so well, and had been trying to find a way to bring myself out of the gutter I'd managed to find myself in...or shoved in, more like. And then, moments before Matt entered...there it was. And that's where mind was, even as I offer Matt a gold-plated Pikachu card thingy from Burger King back in the 90s as incentive to get my Bischoff back, joking still.
Mere moments before, I had taken the time to let the world know that I was finding it hard to feel good, 'cuz each time I'm up there, I knew I was gonna fall. And my friend, Anna Warren, responds simply, "I used to feel like that. Then someone I dated told me how he forced himself to not live in the future. He's less disappointed in life now." Like a lot of the advice I've gotten these last two weeks, I nodded...considered it, and took it for the attempt to cheer me up--as it is just that. Then...the sense of it slowly builds. I start piecing it together with the advice given previously from Zeke and Chris and Mitch, or from Derek, or Jesse, or Sloan, or Sarah, or Raph...this was the missing puzzle piece, this made it all work. Had I been so blind?
And then right after that, James came home, and we went to Brian's to watch Gurren Lagann.
For the first time. Witnessing Kamina. For the first. Time.
Now, I'm a weird guy, in terms of where I find my happiness. Success, to me, isn't measured by clothing lines, cars, girls, or cash. It's in helping people. Roots in the community, see? And what bothers an Akero most (that's me), more than damn near anything in this universe, is the inability to help...to be useless. When I'm in the pits, when my life seems...beyond repair? It's time to start helping others, and there's no better place to start then in my very own place of living...the people around me. The impact of last night, from Anna to Kamina, hasn't even begun to drain from my hands. When I returned, I spent the evening telling a friend I was in their corner. They knew that already, but they needed to know more.
They needed to stop being depressed.
Look at yourself. We could go on and on about believing in yourself like we did back here, you know..never giving up on yourself or your dreams, but you should know that by now. You gotta believe that you can make it! All manner of people were in seriously shitty situations before they made it big; Henry Ford, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Will Smith, Michael Jordan, Eric Bischoff--Hell, even William Shatner had roaches climbing his apartment walls! Success doesn't always come instantaneously; just make sure you always step in the right direction, and expect things to go slow--"give it a second! It's going to space!!" hahaha. There's a reason all those quotes were thrown out about Rome not being built in a day! Here's a look at Eric Bischoff's life alone (since it's right here):
"... I was reluctant to leave the business. That decision took a significant financial toll on me and my family. My car was repossessed out of my driveway, and I fell four or five months behind on my house payments. My kids ate rice and beans and hot dogs. My wife worked nights as a waitress in a restaurant, but the money wasn't enough to keep us going. The reality of my situation came to me when we came home from visiting my parents one winter night, and the house was freezing cold. We were out of propane. And we weren't going to get any more, because we owed the propane company money. I had to heat our house with a couple of portable kerosene heaters. I needed a miracle."
And THIS is the guy who didn't really start his life 'til he was 26--everything before then was martial arts tournaments and partying. This is the guy who's one of the most legendary and successful businessmen in the world. He never graduated from college, he certainly didn't start out with any manner of money, and? He did it. His philosophy was to just make sure every step was in the right direction, and to do everything you can without abandoning your team.
...That's right, your team.
It's one thing to be morose over things you can't change that you may very well never see again. Things that...will never be in your decision to make, or your friends to help you make. Like losing a friend, that depresses you? No one can give that friendship back but that friend. So, it makes sense that it would depress you. But on the things you *can* change..? The things you can face another time should this time not work out? Yeah, maybe you don't see a way--but guarantee you, with a team? It works out. And that brings me harsh into the real meat of this journal entry. What I told this friend? I told her to stop it. An amazing depression? Absolutely, I been there--Hell, I am there. We all know it's hard to get out of those. Especially when you turn around and see that so many are in it this month.
Seriously, these last thirty days have been extremely bullshit for couples everywhere. From Chris (Gyro's Chris; not Harris, or Steinwinder, or Bennett) having his girl leave him over the most simple-minded nonsense crap, and many in between, all the way to my boy Scott getting it all thrown away from the girl'a his dreams! Dude finally found the woman he could love forever..his best friend for years, right? And then, just when she was about to come out here to California like they'd planned, she changed her fuckin' mind! Last-minute like and shit! Decided she couldn't leave her family and life behind in South Carolina. And then Scott, being the real man that he is, offered to go out to South Carolina instead--what the fuck does she do? She said she'd lose respect for him, ditching my family like that.
Like hold the fuck on, isn't Scott over 18 years old? Yes he fucking is. Isn't Scott capable of making his own decisions in life? Fuck yes, of course! Ain't his family very capable folk rich off their goofy asses? Yes, yes they are. What the fuck is THIS shit?? Most importantly of all, most importantly of all, doesn't the girl of your dreams take the front seat in terms of priorities, and all the rest of the world (much love to them all the same) take the back seat?? That's how me and Rahan used to tell it, and I still firmly believe it--yo, that girl in your life is your fucking team, man! That's your partner, every buddy-cop movie you ever seen shouldn't even be able to touch that!
That's some Kamina and Yoko shit right there, some Cordelia Naismith and Aral Vorkosigan team-up right there! That's how it should be!
Still scared things might not work out in the future? Get the fuck over it, there's always that risk, but that doesn't mean you drop the fuckin' shit all together--anything worth a shit in life takes a fuckin' risk, you should know that shit! "lose respect for you, ditching your family like tha--" THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!?! My fucking God! If Scott's family need him or some shit, they'll call him down! Naw man, that sounds like excuses to me, fear and some shit over the indeterminable. A friend of mine once said that, just because something's a song doesn't mean it's lyrics don't hold truth; someone believed that enough to write it. So straight from Freddie Mercury, "Remember: Love's stronger. Remember, Love conquers All".
And I do seriously believe that shit.
Like, it would be an honor for Scott to live near you lady, be with you, help you through life and be together with you! "Well I might not have time for him and so that'll be unfair to hi--" NO. It hurts him way, way more to just not be with him at all. Dude felt like someone had stabbed him all over my soul. Wanted to fucking die it hurt so much. Seriously, he's a big boy. He's got patience, and he don't need daily coddling. "It's long distance, so--" NO. You work that shit out. It brings me back to this conversation we were having about a month ago in the car, me and Zeke--this was during our time of hanging signs around the San José neighborhoods for Gyro's and shit, right? We're in the car--Rebecca's driving, Zeke to her right in the passenger seat as he always is, me in the back just listening in.
And we discuss how sometimes people that are angry say things they don't exactly mean (or don't exactly say right). It's why me, Chris, and Zeke take walks when pissed. And we discuss drugs, right? And stopping drugs no matter what, 'cuz that shit's bad for you and Zeke knows that first hand, from pot to otherwise--just none of that shit is very sound with him, and he's talking about his meetings he's had to see in his time where people are giving up and not working together and launches into this:
"It could always be worse. You know? You could be homeless, you could be in a car accident so bad that your dick gets blown off, or BOOM there goes your titties! It could be the end of the world--you could be the last people on the face of the Earth after some meteor crashes, and it could still always be worse--do you understand? You work together. Love is two people working together taking on whatever no matter what. When shit goes down, you know the person--and that's what's so cool about you, Walker--when things got hard, no matter how hard, you stuck to it, and you saw it through!"
Which I mean, that was real nice of him to say at the end there on me, but it's fuckin' true! You fucking stick together, man! Not just through the hard times, man especially through the hard fucking times!! You stick together, you communicate, and you work together, 'cuz here's the reality: Life isn't pretty. It doesn't fucking love you, and it isn't here to be fair. No matter what you give up thinking things will be easier, it won't be. It'll just get worse, and it'll just get harder, 'cuz that's what Life was created to do--to test you, do you understand? It's forced evolution. Every thing you conquer, there will always be another thing.
Peace isn't the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with those problems when they happen calmly or, at the very least, confidently. With a team? You can do that. But, what's important is that you have a *team*. Like I've told Jasmine that I'm in her corner and to depend on me when the hard times hit--run to me when you need me! I'll never leave. Am I saying this for an angle? Fuck no, I know I'm likely not getting shit in this. That's not the point. People sometimes say they got me all figured out as if that's something special haha, it ain't hard! I put my soul to bare for the world to see, it's all in the light, and it's all about giving my last dime to see that good people are helped. Look at the friends you got now. Can they say that? Will they say things to make you happy?
Will they say things that're true to help you regardless of whether it makes you happy or not..? Will they kiss your head when you do right, and kick your ass when you do wrong? If so, that's the kinda friends you want in your corner. Not assholes with alternative motives. "But they do this for me--" no one asked that. You're better then relying on scum, right? So depend on me! Depend on friends! Depend on your team. Doesn't have to be more than one, doesn't have to be limited to just one either. Kid Rock said it right:
"It's a matter of salvation from them patience up above,
So don't give up so damn easy on the one you love, one you love!
Somewhere you got a brother, sister, friend, grandmother, niece or nephew
Just dying to be with you..
You know there's someone out there who unconditionally, religiously, loves you
So just hold on 'cuz you know it's true!
And if you can take the pain
Then you can withstand anything,
And one day stand hand in hand with the truth!" - Kid Rock, "Amen".
Indeed. Exactly. There's someone out there, someone for each and every one of you. It's not necessarily romantic (it could be?). It's not necessarily family (it could be?). But it's someone, damn it--so partner it up! I know some'a you cats got that huge independent-streak, "Gotta do shit by my lonely Walker 'cuz rigmarole and jibbajabba nonsense", but...you don't. Believe me, no one had the independence more than Walker once upon a time--well...almost no one as big as his, lately even that's been capped, but the point is: People want to help you. They want to help you because they care about you--to deny them the ability to lend a hand? Makes 'em feel useless. Then you're worse off 'cuz you ain't got the backup, and they're worse off 'cuz they're rendered to the sidelines.
Lemme give an example of some simple teamwork I've seen recently make shit all the better. Here I am at the Gyro's, and I remember asking on training day, "How do you want me to scare these people?"...'cuz I know two ways to scare folk. Be big and imposing (comes naturally), or shake 'em 'til miracles come out. Or be really, really silent and just stand behind them haha (scared Matt and his mom like that many-a-times XD) so I guess that's three, but I mean...it didn't seem like that's all they wanted. And Zergog's like, "just scare them in ways that scare you, without touching them." ...How I get scared? Losing my girl? Tell people they might lose their girlfriend, that's what you want me to do? 'Cuz not a whole lot else gives me a scare. Oh wait, IRS? IRS could be frightening..oh! Telling me I'm behind a few weeks on rent? That shit put a scare in us.
Remember when we was getting sued, James? And I had to call down Angels to help?
Yeah, good times. Point is, I don't get scared by the traditional shit. Cautious step, startled by a suddenness, but never scream-run-run kinda shit, I usually just strike at shit that seem suddenly dangerous (as Alex found out haha!) So Rebecca gave me some tips on how to scare folk the way they wanted, and we go to it--I'm in my corner, standing, waiting for someone to pass by, and then I'm jumpin' out and givin' the roar, and sure enough people are startled and I go back into my hidey-hole. But...as you work here, you begin to realize a certain chemistry. What makes this shit work isn't being big or menacing, it's teamwork and knowing where to strike. Now-a-days I don't stand, I sit. My ears wait for Alex's cry that scares people from his corner--he's a spider guy in black, and since he's also black, he just blends into that darkness.
They SHRIEK and come shuffling into the corridor to get away from that, and BOOM there I am! They're running away, and man I chase after! Poundin' them walls above their head, mere inches from their fleeing bodies, they're collapsing over each other, paying attention to me, pinning themselves against the wall and--while all that's going on, BOOM, there's Gabe in the next room I just chased them into, right next to them, they're absolutely not expecting him their terror's so on me, and it just completely drives it over the top. There's an energy, and it's a play like that which makes me, Alex, and Gabe do a fuckin' dance and grin. Even when they AREN'T so spooked to go running, tryin' to be tough or whatever, I'll still follow them. And they find it even creepier that I'll follow them anyway. And they watch me in case I got a new trick.
...Right into Gabe. We're supposed to scare 65% of our customers. I say we scare more like 95%. And the rest I'd say are jarred and acting up.
See that shit?? That's fuckin' teamwork. Our network grew from there to include Oliee and James (Gyro's James, not Erickson or Major) and we get a five-man nonstop shriek fest just converging on them, way, way, waaaay better then any one of us could produce. And that is fucking team work. Sure you can get the job done alone, Hell maybe even with flying colors, maybe you're a one-man army...right? But a team of one-man armies would be even more unstoppable. So rely on your partner, rely on your team mate, rely on those who want to help you 'cuz that's what teams do. They WANT to help, and your alone shit just might not cut it! It's someone to fall back on if your independence streak fails, and if shit looks bleak? Just fucking tough it out for a while you big pansey--it'll work out. You got people in your corner.
Even fuckin' Mr. T has partners and team-mates.
*Could* you do it your own? Sure, maybe. Probably, even! But why not get it done quicker, and funner? Not like you won't do the same for him or her right? Right! Teamwork, with a team of friends, makes you unbeatable...even if the team-up is just two. So grab your Ken Masters, your Rally Vincent, and get your shit together--and don't expect it done over night! Nothing fuckin' worth while happened over night, right? Even if it seems sudden, it built itself up. An inclining, an obsession, an infatuation. It doesn't usually ever just come in through the wall like the fuckin' Kool-Aid man, right? And if it does ... Damn, to quote Sean, "Must be nice". The world could be at it's worst, indeed my life is worse now than it's been in so many years...but you know what?
I got my team. I got so many I can go to, and they can come to me. We'll make it.
"When we built these dreams on sand,
How they all slipped through our hands,
This might be our only chance...
Let's take this one day at a time!
I'll hold your hand if you hold mine.
The time that we kill keeps us alive." - Rise Against, "Rumors of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated"
I mean, do you understand?? Does this shit ring clear to you, or are you still spinning on that fucking doubt you keep to your chest! This ain't for the cats that know better on team work--Hell the BSG know alla 'bout that team work! This is for the cats sitting there festering in their fear that shit ain't gonna fuckin' work out, that they gotta do shit alone, people I've spent hours and shit trying to tell through the e-mails and through the words of advice, don't you fucking give up! I fucking mean that shit, you stick to your guns, if not for you--for your boys! Fuck selfishness, that goofy shit is for jabronis and two-bit pseudo-thugs, the bitch-ass chumps that'd gladly shank you in the back without a moment's notice--why emulate that motherfucking crap??
God fucking DAMN am I done with this shit--if you're on that manner of thinking? Then fuck that, and fuck you, I'm outta here to slam with my brothers and sisters and take back this fucking world, one way or a fuckin' 'nother! Can I getta witness??
Real Updates Next Week,
Walker Pennington.
~John McClane Sez~
Al: Hey, I'm right here partner. Well, what is it about?
John McClane: Oh, just a feeling I have.
Al: Ouch. When you get those feelings, the insurance companies start to get bankrupt.
current mood:  annoyed
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
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8:20 pm - ~When It Rains ... ~
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Last night was, without a doubt, one of the best nights I've had in...well, it's been a long time. Not since the last time it rained had I smiled so much, under some fantastic trees I intend to go sit under again with this kind of weather. Not since Metrocon had I felt such comradeship, not since I left Sacramento the first time had I felt so much love from so many different people at once, all just standing around the ten of us, the eleven of us, having a time just...to chill, tell stories, and have good clean fun. It was absolutely tremendous to see everyone again, a west-coast BSG reunion and then some, and here's how it went:
One of my best friends this whole world's tossed my way is a man named Sean Terrill, from ol' Sacramento area, and my bro here has had the cancer in his past already. For some reason, that didn't stop him from smoking the cigarettes like he ought to! But anyway, we used to jam to all manner of shenanigans, from D&Din' it up to nWoin' down the streets to the Denny's. We called him #2 'cuz he'd decided to become Walker #2 (I'm #1), and become the replacement Walker should anything happen to me. Him and Jake were the last two people I saw before leaving Sacramento for Florida, and the only time I'd seen him since was at the New Years party at Jamie's.
So, ever since I got back to California I'd been intending to go up to Sacramento and see him, or him come down and see me. He was gonna grab like Jake and Kurtis and make a run down here with Penny, but Penny broke proper so...we just weren't sure. And then, I got this e-mail...and it got serious:
"me and kurtis have the most drain, but dont show it... we miss you, even if not for dnd, but for sunday monopoly, or for random hey lets go to the walks house and go walkin around places ext.
i got some bad news from my doctor last week...
my blood count came back high....WAY high
they did a CT and as a first consult they think it might be small cell carcinoma(lung cancer)
funny enough he said smoking contributes but its most apparent in stong muscled (like lungs and heart, not like arms and abs) individuals who dont work them out.
i work out but i dont go jogging to help expand my lungs and shit. so they think thats what it is.
if it is, they said its in stage 0 at the very worst, which is a short outpatient opperation, and 2 days of chemo, nothing super scary, not even a tumor, but small cell is the most aggressive.
leukemia is not very aggressive, but i had a HUGE tumor and it only took a month, if its small cell, i could jump from stage 0 to stage 4 (massive tumor and spreading to other organs) in a few weeks!
so im making sure im getting that looked into and such, now that ive written a walker essay i do feel i should hit the Z.Z.Z. Mother Fucker! bed."
Damn, the hardcore worry. I hate hearin' on my people bein' that kinda ill, and I knew I had to go see Sean as soon as we were able. What's even more, I hate hearing my people in trouble or in troubled times, and I can't do anything to help. An Akero hates being useless. The theory was we'd go just after Gyro's 'cuz that's when we'd suddenly have a ton of free time, Zeke'd have his license back, and the little bit of cash it'd take to make the day worth it--some pizza, some whiskey, you know. Old crew finally hangin' out reminiscin' of the times we kick that ass. You know, BSG reunion--#2, Jake, Kurtis, and whoever else wants to come along when me and Zeke go down there. Only...then, a few days later, we got this:
"you need to come up, this weekend or next... we need you....i need you more than most... especially right now, any way you can get zeke to drive? im sure we all can pool together like 40$ for gas."
So, feeling the urgency, me and Zeke told him we'd be there, Monday. I'm not sure if Rebecca wanted to come, but without Zeke having a license, she more or less had to and agreed to drive us. Last night. Coming back from no sleep (working While he'd have preferred me on the weekend just because it would be AFTER his being blasted with radiation to take care of the cancer his doctors now have no idea what it exactly is, it was to me imperative we get there as soon as possible...and weekends we worked. So, we set the date for Monday, and I tried to see if anyone else wanted to jam on down for the task...and by everyone, I meant Jasmine and Matt haha--both who declined to..I'm not sure. And then--I had an idea. I hadn't met Sarah yet...why not now?
Sarah Bronson is someone I met through....I don't even know! At some point I saw her page, I think I was looking for Sarah Cowles, and there was Firefly on it and Helluva other stuff there that I'm into, so I said I thought her page was awesome, so I said as much, and she 'friended me, and...I think...anyway not the point HOW it came about, point is, I moved to Florida damn near right after and we never actually got to meet despite being Sacramento-based folk. But we talk all the time, often just hucking around Firefly quotes and advice on Life and shit like that. Good times. Anyhow, as I hadn't been back to Sacramento since I left for Florida precisely one year ago..!..so, I asked, if she wanted to meet and hang out. And it was agreed.
So, my notion was to keep it simple--'cuz I wasn't sure if #2 or Sarah wanted big crowds mullin' about. I'd head down when I got off of work (STILL having no sleep for over 24 hours by this point after working at Gyro's and PetSmart back to back) around 10am (I got off earlier, at 8) and then hang out with Sarah 'til she had to go, hit up #2 whenever it is he home from whatever he was doing, and then top it off by hangin' out with Jake at the end. And if these occurrences overlapped, all the better. Instead XD Sean tells the whole wide world (everyone on his MySpace anyway) using bulletins that I'm gonna arrive, and they got hyped! So, I let the Facebook world know I was coming too!
What ended up happening is that I called Zeke at 10 (hung out with Jasmine some before that), and he said he'd be right down. But Rebecca was tired and didn't wanna get up, so I ended up waiting...awake...for hours. Finally Zeke said they'd be there by 2pm and ended up arriving at 3pm. The ride down was slammin', and since no one else had come along, Zeke had me burn Limp Bizkit...all of it. So jammin' down to Sacramento straight *blaring* the LB, we felt alive! Been too long since I've had the music loud and immersing me. On the way, we tried calling the people that were on the list...I called #2, no answer. I called Sarah, left a message. I called Jake...his grandma hates me so she just said nothing and put the phone up to the TV 'til I left haha.
So...we decided the only thing left to do was go visit my old house in Sacramento and get some of my stuff that I left there! I'd told my brother not to touch any of it, so it should be all stacked neatly there in the garage right? And I could see my brother again.
...Well. Remember all that grass we put there? Gone. Remember my room I had? Gone. My brother took it over with Ashley, and they gave their room to Ashley's brother who is now ALSO homeless and living there. ...What the F? The place was more of a mess than ever, and the number of animals grew sharply, including two more dogs (one a Chihuahua, the other...I don't even know. Just large.) And my brother, MAN he got...large. Sideways. Uh...but his hair was long, that was innerestin'. We eventually to go get my stuff out of the garage, and there...were things, everywhere. Remember when we cleared out this nice path in there? Everything that was boxed, was boxed to the center? Gone. Wally would'a cried tears.
And my stuff? All knocked over, all on it's sides, all spilled out. Lord Jesus.
So, at least my brother (so far) hadn't taken all my things haha. He just put my table that Brian Randall built me outside in the rain. What the fuck, is nothing sacred anymore?...damn I should'a known better. Anyhow, we spent about an hour and some change just scooping aside things and trying to dig through the madness to eventually, EVENTUALLY, collect what it is we came there for. We didn't get it all, but I got the Highlander series, so I'll happily show that to Matt when I get the chance...and any else who wants to scope it out. In the meantime, we'd continued calling around, and eventually learned from Sean's mom that #2 had gone to Bobby's house!...well, Hell yeah! That's right down the road. Away we go.
When we get there, Bobby and Sean have already moved on back to Sean's house...so, we get in the car, and we try to catch them walking--and we do (with Zeke making a police siren sound at him XD), and it turns into a big hug-fest for real haha. Then we decide we should up the anté since some crew is gathered, and get the rest. We start it off righteous by goin' to go get Kurtis and his girlfriend Nessa, and head there...only to find she's stormed off somewhere (to Safeway). Well alright, we'll go find her. And we did, but no Kurtis with her so I went to calling him (his ass is in Orangevale) and during it, Sarah calls back! Yeah, things are starting to pull together.
Denny's is what I'm thinkin', so I tell Sarah to meet us there while we drop Nessa off (since she can't hang out due to...homework?) and go get Jon. When I get there (or AS I get there), everyone's looking at Mountain Mike's as a better option. It's closer, and we all been cravin' the Mike's for a long time now. So, we ask Jon if he can spare the cash (thanks so much, Jon!!) since we have YET to get paid by that puddle of piss down at Gyro's (whoever's holdin' back our cash, or even THOUGHT about reducing it to only $100...) and then call Sarah back so we can lead her to the Mike's in question to meet everyone. We take off in the jeep after droppin' half the cast off at Mike's, and (with a beer stop on the way) make it to Denny's to meet Sarah there and lead her back to everyone else.
Sarah was a very, very awesome person to meet, and I was surprised at her tolerance for dealin' with so many people. Not only was she meeting my loud ass (albeit dropped down from my voice being half-stolen from Gyro's screaming) and #2 and Zeke (all loud folk!), but also Bobby and Jon on the side (and later Nessa decided to come back haha). I figured our geek talk would drive her over the edge (D&D, Firefly, Cellphones, WoW, old video games, Cordova/Sacramento's ghettoness and the things we used to do as little thuglettes versus why Santa Clara's better...you name it) but she fit right in! Not only did she keep up, but she did all that stuff too ("Didn't I tell you? These are MY PEOPLE!" she said haha), so I'm glad we didn't scare her off any and she dug everyone!
Seriously, Sarah, thanks for joining us! Don't forget you kick ass.
Once we finished at Mountain Mike's, we set out to do away with the beer we had. We didn't have a person's house we could just...hang out in and be rowdy, so we decided in front of my house like old times (when me, Zeke, and Kurtis drank beers back in the day) was good enough. Once more we split up into teams; Zeke took Rebecca and Nessa to go get Kurtis. Me and #2 went in Sarah's car to go show Sarah the way to my house. Bobby and Jon walked it because there were no more cars. ...I feel really bad on that, can't wait 'til I have a car. The next big goal. Since we were going with Sarah the direct route, we got there first. My brother was there, and I spent time saying hi to my mom while #2 talked with Sarah and my brother hucked his football around with his future brother in law.
As I came back out, Jon and Bobby had arrived and we went and jibba-jabbed 'til the rest of the crew showed up ("Nessa took me to Oregon to pick up Kurtis!!" - Zeke XD)and suddenly...there were all these people here. Ten strong, counting my little brother, and we just all started bullshitting about this and that--it was amazing. Like, everyone immersed in conversation like this was a thing we always did, like we'd all--all--been friends for years and years, and this was our Friday night routine. It was great, and it wasn't even done yet. Jacob FINALLY gives us a call back, and I'm like "get your ass down here to my mom's house! We got beer and homies!" hahaha soon as he heard Zeke and #2 were chillin' the most, he grabbed his girl Heather and headed over.
Once they arrived, we were now 11 strong (my brother went back inside), and again Jake comes in, and we all just...start talking. No catching on corners, no awkward "don't quite know" silences created from time or people not met, it just launches right back into bullshitting and good times without a pause, all manner of topics covered--I couldn't even begin to list them all. Haunted houses, video games, movies, AR Campaigns, cop stories, and we even get on back to my Samoan story 'cuz Sarah hadn't heard it before, and Zeke had been explaining to everyone else that he actually SAW this Samoan cat in the courts he went to being told to keep away from me. Small world, eh?? So, everyone got to hear the story again!...damn thing's a keeper, we all had laughs.
Finally, however...Rebecca wasn't feeling 100% even at the beginning, and Zeke said it was prolly best that we pack up our game and head out back to Sanny J. I really didn't want to, especially since Jacob and Kurtis had JUST gotten there relatively close! But...man, she was done, and I guess it was time. But, we made up for it like this: we're having an encore return NEXT Monday! And this time, Jake's got a place we can hit! Hell yeah!! Smash Bros. tournaments, Street Fighter and MvC2 out the walls, whiskey, pizza, and most importantly of all? Bullshitting with the best of the best, BSG reunion and then some. I really, really can't wait.
And this lets me get a hold of all the people I didn't get to see this time around like Derek, Bryan, Dustin, Brent, G-Mile, David, Mason, DJ, and so on.
With that decided, and wanting to dodge that storm, we hugged and everyone split into groups again and drove off--the world was empty very suddenly, just us all over again like a massive, badass dream. A dream I needed. So everyone, thank you for the tremendous reception, every single moment of it was a complete blast, and I rediscovered some spark in myself by seeing some of the very best this world has to offer. The way home was more Bizkit blaring dodging the storm 'til we got back to Zeke's house. The days without sleep and shit ended up being so much that I didn't even go in to sleep, and I hope--truly--that #2 survives his radiation and lives this cancer off. I hope this wasn't my last chance.
The world is raining, and it makes me smile. I'm'a visit some trees soon and sit.
Got treated like a chump as an older man,
Mixin' rock with the funk as an older man!
Learned what a girl was as an older man,
Now I know how to love as an older man!
But I'm still a big kid as an older man,
And I'd much rather give as an older man!
Still I'm singin' in the rain as an older man,
Ain't nothin' gonna change as an older man...
PS: I found Shaun and Emily here on Facebook!! My old room mates from 2002! Badass!
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
~John McClane Sez~
John McClane: Hey, can you pick locks?
Zeus: Is this one of those black things again?
current mood: untouchable branded unfuckable
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 11th, 2009
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3:15 pm - ~I'm Exhausted, Barely Breathin', Holdin' On To What I Believe In!~
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The quick updates on my life! Lotsa questions e-mailed my way, so I'm'a answer 'em. First off, where I been? The work! Last we left off, I was to start work last Wednesday at PetSmart, and then the very next day start my gig as Stryker; Wrongly accused serial killer, Stryker, put to death in an electric chair, comes back to life seeking vengeance. Keep in mind, I didn't even *go* to the interview for this job and they *still* called me and hired me in. That's how good I guess I am at this concept: tall and creepy. Totally, you guys should come check us out--Gyro's for the scares, PetSmart for the pet stuff haha! Anyway, lemme go into details of both, starting with Gyro's:
The job's pretty easy, all things considered. The training day (the only training day) was pretty bullshit...we stood around hours waiting for the guy to shut his jabroni mouth so we could go and get makeup on us. Why were we dressing up? No one knows. No customers. But the notion was that we'd come here, and we'd get shown a tour of the house and where we'd be and what we should do to scare the people that come through it. We should have been done at 7 or 8pm...maybe *9pm* at the worst. ...We got to go home at midnight. We didn't even get to the damn tour (for whatever reason no one knows) 'til 9pm, and then we stood there in our "spot"...in the freezing-ass cold...for something like two hours.
Now, I get it that this is supposed to be part of the job. Stand in a spot, for hours. And scare folk. ...Only, there were no folk. It was just silence and standing. Not allowed to communicate to the next room over, not nothing. We did anyway eventually, and several damn near walked clear off the set for that shit. I know me and Zeke wanted to--but we need the money something fierce, so we shut our mouths and dealt and finally got to home! I met many cats there, some of them really cool...my personal team is Gabe and Alex, they're the rooms before and after me, and for this I consider them my crew--well, that and Zeke and Rebecca obviously. I met cool people like Eddie, like Oli, like Sabrina, etc etc...cool cats all around. Well, some.
There were several moments on that training day that I wasn't even sure this is what I wanted to do. I was confused about what was going on, the communication was crap...it was just all bad. And this wasn't my first time being indecisive about this job--all the while leading up to it, I wasn't sure this was something I wanted to do, for many of the same reasons (and I didn't like how Zergog or whatever treated Matt). The reason I went to go get this job, however, was more important. When this shit's over I'm getting something close to a $1,000 right? I figured...after rent to Jim, I'll throw that shit down to a car for a friend of mine. Or, more likely, I'd get a car for myself she could use 'til she has the cash to afford the car off the lot that she wanted.
...Too little, and much too late, I guess. She got her own through her mom, and with the car she hardly needs mine. ...Or me, come to think about it. Huh. Anyhow, that was the goal. Now? Dunno.
Then came the first day! Whoo! And what's best is that PetSmart was right after. We got into better makeup, faster than before, and were out in the hiding spots by 7ish. And boy, we scared the shit off those kids--and it was even *better* the next time around! Aw man, we've roared our voices raw, and we've had all manner of things delivered to us for scaring them. Some person peed their pants, a girl curled into a ball on the floor and sobbed, I scared folk so bad they tripped over themselves and *all four* fell into the wall (damn near broke that sumbitch too)...Hell, I even got a *knife* pulled on me! No lie! All without touching them. Crazy jabroni should know better right? You're not scaring me with that--that'd be assuming I actually treasure my life at this time and want to live, and I don't hahaha...O Lawdy...
Anyhow, it's a bit tiring. I hate that mask. It's a lot of running around back and forth down that hallway. It's a lot of waiting around sometimes, too. But, it's a job that's a Hell of a lot more fun than I expected it to be. The only major hardship is then, immediately, going to PetSmart. What a different environment...change from black hammerpants (read: windbreakers) to khakis, and gogogo. PetSmart is...it's cool. It's not my preferred job, but I'm right alongside Dustin in thinking it's good enough. The hours are shit, and while I love picking up things and hucking them around (I think I terrified folk when I picked up four 40 pound bags of cat litter at once and carried it off), the sheer *variety* of food (especially canned cat food) is alarming and irritating as all Hell haha. It'll all be about memorizing.
I got to meet some cool people there, too--the trainer is a nice older fella that looks like Ridgway if adding on about 25 years, and funny enough his name's Jim. And there's Joe and Elias, both happening guys I've enjoyed jibbajabbin' with, and I briefly met John and Fern, and...yeah. Peter's an interesting house manager. ...Interesting, is the best word for it. I don't think he's got what it takes to be a manager--as we all know, I rate every boss I ever had on the Dan Frausto scale, 'cuz he was the best of the best in my opinion. I've fought with the idea of going back to the Drive-Ins ever since I've come here, Hell even before that--it'd bury me, but sometimes I wonder if it'd be worth it. I dunno tho, without Cody and Larry there, it just might not be. I miss those days.
Last but not least, questions on me being single and the lack of information in the last journal entry...yeah, I don't know why I'm single. I won't talk about her in any specifics, but I can tell you I never got a reason why. You'd figure, no matter what, we'll work it out? Mm. All in vain maybe. I don't know about that. Since then, there've been people asking me out or trying to hook me up with this and that--gonna say it clearly, there's only the one girl I want. So stop. Why did it go south? Why the very sudden turnaround? Got me. Heard some reasons, but none were ever really a why. Maybe I dropped the ball...hey, I'm a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time? But that *does* remind me of when Will Smith said that line in the Hitch movie...and his other big line:
"Basic Principles: No woman wakes up saying 'God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!' Now, she might say 'This is a really bad time for me,' or something like 'I just need some space,' or my personal favorite 'I'm really into my career right now.' You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cuz she's *lying* to you, that's why. You understand me? *Lying!* It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is 'Uh, get away from me now,' or possibly 'Try harder, stupid,' but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say?"
Hahaha, oh Will...anyway. The point is, I'm committed. Whatever it is that made her decide to take the little game of love, fold it back up, and put it back in the box? Hopefully she'll figure it out, and work through it. And maybe then, she'll see me as an option, and I'll be there waitin'. 'Cuz I'm *damn sure* better then the 90% of the competition out there, guaran-damn-teed, right? Right. Dignity, integrity, honor and...'til then, I will sit on the bench at the Zekesters alone. I will journey to the trees, and sit there also alone. I will walk to the Valley Fairs alone, I will hold my own hand, and I will be strong. Why? 'Cuz I'm Walker Pennington, I should be used to this now, and it's no sense in doing anything less but bein' the best. 'Til she's ready. Alone. ::RKO Pose!::
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
~John McClane Sez~
Grant: You're the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.
John McClane: Story of my life.
current mood: amazing
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| Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
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1:27 am - ~End of the Road..?~
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It's been too, too long since we've had us an update. Yeah, I've posted several times before, but they've all been philosophizing about rights and wrongs while I hold back some of the biggest updates in my time...waiting for them to become official, and well...I guess in a manner, they're exactly that now. Before I left for Florida, I took some time out to talk to God (a la Fiddler on the Roof) and I asked him that maybe he could help me out...this time, since I'd never gotten a decent chance at them, could I get a decent job, move in to a decent place, and be in a relationship worth my love? So since August 2009 of my getting here, this is two long months to wrap up, and we'll summarize them all in exuberance! So without further ado...The Pennington Sagas (as Zeke called it) continues ever-forward on one of it's final issues:
~Track One - The Job Search~
First, the job side of things. Within 20 days of our arrival here in Sanny J, me and Matt were officially employed, and were proud sellers of the fantastic Kirby model of vacuum cleaner. This is that door-to-door stuff you heard about back in the day, but bought out by a new company, the typical heavy-handed door-to-door tactics are extraordinarily frowned upon by the management of the current regime...or so we had been told upon our hire. But anyway, our job wasn't to set up the appointments or convince people to hear us out. Our job was to go to the appointments already scheduled by interested parties!
It's what they call a "warm sale", meaning they're already interested in how it performs (or might just want their stuff shampooed for free--more on that later).
We get this job when Derek comes on down for a visit. It had been about two years or so since last I saw the guy, and he was talkin' about swingin' down into the area and hangin' out! Derek's a cool motherfucker, always had my back, and I was glad he came down, 'cuz even if the time was short, it rocked the house. With Matt and Chris in tow, we showed Derek to the world of San José, and the Bay Area as a whole. We took him down to Dave & Busters, and enjoyed many-a-stories along the way! He got to meet Chris, James, Matt, and of course Jasmine, and I think he got to have some good, clean fun. I really hope to see him again soon, and with the previously-mentioned new job pay him back for the meal he got all of us.
Anyway, while he was here we got the call from Rebecca (Zeke's girlfriend Rebecca, not Oakland-based Rebecca) who'd been lookin' for work herself. She tells me that she found a job at a place I couldn't quite hear well over the phone, but I hear $2,000 a month and "they train you". I thought I heard "Kirby's", but it was hard to say. Turns out I was right! Derek was worried about their practices, for sure, and to be fair I went over how they've been in the past...and it wasn't so hot. But, reassured by Rebecca getting the story on their new ownership, and indeed talking to the manager of us Mr. Corey Burke, I saw that this company--or my wing of it, anyhow--is as honest as ever.
Kirby is here to sell a product. It's superior in the market to anything sold in stores...and it's been shown, he's got all manner of vacuums old and new to contrast with, and has shown us numerous tests, this Corey, and his boss Sean O'Riley. Extremely charismatic, and with me and Matt brought in with Rebecca, I thought we'd be one of his number one guys. (Some of the rest just seem like Jabronis, not to speak ill of the co-workers in training.) When we're brought in, it's the shortest interview I've ever had--just explained how it works, liked how we presented ourselves, and we were hired like that. Let me explain to you how this works as it was explained to me and Matt:
We get a guaranteed $2,000 a month if we do 60 appointments. Period. Multiple times they tell us they have no quotas. Less than 60 means less than $2,000. We attempt to sell vacuum cleaners to people already interested, and each vacuum is like...$300 for us. Not to mention bonuses on other things we can do. We get that money at the end of the week, no matter how much we make...$300, 3,000, whatever. Now, if at the end of the month we didn't make $2,000 total the whole month? They give us, give us, the rest so it will be $2,000 that month in total. So, if I only sell the one vacuum and get the $300, and I sell no others, then by the end of the month they will give me $1,700 to make up the difference!
Always $2,000, or more. Now, the more is if we sell more then that...if we make more than $2,000 for us that week, we get to keep it. If I sell three vacuums a week, four weeks total? That's $3,600 for me. I get to keep that $3,600, and they don't pay me anything. We work from 10am to 9pm.
Ain't that fucking solid?? It's real easy, you go in and you show a product to someone--this badass product. The end result is, it's going to be better than their vacuum, there isn't a question of that. Now, it's convincing them it's worth the buy, and these cats are already interested in the machine to begin with! Not only does it suck up dirt and stuff a million times better, but it transforms into four different kinds of vacuums, into a leaf blower, a plunger, a computer air-sprayer, a ballpump, and more. Like, this vacuum doesn't fuck around, and it's made out of metal with two fans (NASA-designed), so fuck if it's gonna break down on you ever. (they say 30 to 50 years.)
The downsides to this job? Well, first off we offer them to shampoo one of their rooms. The Kirby is also a shampooer now. So maybe they just want the free shampoo. The second part is, the presentation takes about an hour and a half--no joke. I guess not only to show off all the wicked shit this beast can do (often making them involved in it), but it seriously convinces them of how cool it is, shows the price ($2,200) is worth it 'cuz they'll never have to replace the fucking thing and carpet replacement will be dramatically reduced and so on, but also makes sure that they if they're gonna get that free shampoo, they're gonna earn the son of a bitch. The whole pitch is full of interesting facts, and you'd be surprised some of the shit you learn.
Anyhow...eventually, training ends. Our first day...it rolls around. We're on the ready. We get there, and are introduced to the cats that will drive us around the city to these appointments. We have a good opening ceremony, they do a silly chant, everyone's ready in high spirits, we get bags packed up with itemry, which takes forever, split into teams, etc etc...the guys we get dropped with (and the three of us have to stick together 'cuz we all take Rebecca's car back home when we're dropped off at the office) are named Mario (who vaguely resembles Wesley from Angel with the mannerisms of Matt's stepdad), and his team: Aimi, José, Maria..uh..I don't remember everyone, anyway. Team, seemingly cool cats. Go.
When we get into our van after a good after of sorting through the newbies and their packs, we drive to a local gas station (this isn't the "lunch" I was told we'd get, but whatever, here for snacks). At first, it looks good--we're being bought sodas, they're so damn confident in our ability to do this. Then they start telling us about the fact that we could go kinda far, or very far...so we chose close, 'cuz hey. And funny thing is, it ends up being right next to--right, next, to--our very own apartment. So, we just lol'd at that, told them it was our neighborhood. He was a little astonished, that Mario. Didn't seem so happy about it either, something about how he didn't want us just walking off. We wondered why that'd matter?
...And then the changes began. I thought it weird that their knocker (Aimi) was int he car with us; her whole purpose is to get us the appointments, so she cold sales. I always thought they'd go out and get the appointments, and then the next day we'd go out and fulfill them and we'd just rotated around like that. Naw.
So I figured, she goes and gets us an appointment and then that day we go fulfill it. ...Wait, why are they passing us flyers? Ahhhhahaha. Turns out, everything so far is ...True? Sort of? But, also, this withheld. Yes, we don't *have* to go and do anything but wait in the van. But everyone else...they were gonna go out and cold sale as well. It was pretty much expected, and they'd drag their feet if we refused to right? Like, frown. Serious. Why? Because, in order to do 60 appointments a month, we need to get three appointments a day, five days; if we didn't knock ourselves in, we weren't going to make those three guaranteed to us. They sure as Hell couldn't.
Hell I knocked myself into the ones I did, 'cuz I felt bad and participated. No one else. Which was apparently unheard of that someone get their own appointment on their first time out. So...I mean, knocking myself in? I got two this day. And I was considered doing WELL?? Hoollllly shit! I'll NEVER make 60 by this rate! Then more surprises. Turns out, for instance, sure we stop at 9pm like the Corey said. ...Unfortunately, this means we stop knocking. At 9pm. Different than going home at 9, if any one of us makes a knock and goes in at, say, 8:59? We gotta wait that cat out, every one of us, 'til he's done...or work it, if it's us.
Suddenly, we're not getting home quite right. Further, this door to door shit is a tad ridiculous. We're told not to stop pitching our product 'til we get six--count 'em, six--nos. I refused to do this bit, maybe that's why I got in? Dunno. Either way, Aimi's a pro at this 'cuz she's a girl with charisma to back her savvy, but...even still, we sucked. Going door to door, Matt got a knife pulled on him, threatened with dogs, chased down...good times. And he ended up just tearing up those knees he destroyed in that car accident years back. Matt? Was done. By the time it's done, laaaate at night, we ask to just be dropped off at our house since that shit's right there. Surely we do, and in we go.
Jasmine pulls me aside in her great concern, and tries to help me out. Says, she thinks they're bad news, playin' us right? But..naw. I like to think the best in people, my big flaw in life...and I figure, Corey and Sean wouldn't sell us short! Good guys, those two. We were told, specifically, that we didn't have to cold sale, and that we could just hang out in the car (Hell Corey made it sound that that was the norm!) and that we wouldn't mistreat The People. We signed a document that said we had zero, none, in the way of quotas. So, maybe this was just Mario, Mario was oldschool Kirby before the changeover, maybe....maybe. So, I put Jasmine's worries to rest, and off I went the next day. Alone. Matt was done too injured.
Rebecca was upset too, 'cuz she was told she could have time off to do Gyro's 4D horror house thing with Zeke, right? When he got out, that is. And Corey and Sean said that would be fine, she could leave half-days or something. ...Mario told her, no. That's not the case. None of that. So she had a bone to pick, too. I talked briefly to Corey when I could, "must we go door to door with the door-to-door peoples? Or can we wait in the van like you said?" And of course, Corey said sure--but, he couldn't guarantee us the 3 appointments a day that way, that we'd have to work weekends to ensure the full 60 days if things didn't work out. ...What? But it was time to go. A new quest, a new day.
This time, we went to Marina, California. Helluva far away. I walked without stop, knocked myself silly, got myself into a place where this dude thought all blacks and Jews (his exact beef with those two "factions") should be burned in the oven (seriously, what is with that lately??) and failed to sell him shit. Almost!...but wanted to be able to blow up his car tired with it. The fuck? And the next person at the end of the day, acted all manner of interested, had a bad spot in the closet he wanted done with the shampooer to demonstrate. Worked my ass off hucking that product, and then? Kicked out right after I finished the shampooing. He just wanted the free ride, fuck it if I didn't even get to count this appointment (which I didn't 'cuz my boss didn't get to certify I did my work).
Furthermore, due to being gone so long, and José there...he got in at like 8. He leaves at like...11:30. We don't hit that highway 'til like midnight. We don't get home 'til about 1am. Me, Aimi, Rebecca, and the others sans Mario and José are so extremely bored to tears in that car in the foggiest of cold, we're makin' farm-animal noises into a recording device for teehees and mixing it up. It wasn't cool. But what was more? Jasmine was upset...when I talked to her, she was worried for me. And so...she waited up, waited on the stairs, waited for me to come home. And we talked.
Jasmine tells me she's sure it's ridiculous scam shit. She hears what I say to Corey, and I say...I wanna check on something first, to see if I get paid something if I don't make those 60 days...right? No quotas? I figured it's $33 an appointment, that equates to $2,000 after 60. So...maybe less, just means less? But she sees it's raggin' me out, and she says she'd be disappointed in me if I went back...and that struck me. Not just because, I didn't want someone I tremendously respected to be disappointed in me, but 'cuz she cared so solidly, and I could tell--we could both tell--if I keep at this job, I'll barely see her. So no, fuck this job, even if it did work out...
I realized, then and there, it was no good for this reason, she's more important. ...More later.
So, still, I decide to check on this. Rebecca says she's gonna go in, but I'm pretty done and pissed today from all that..so I ask that Rebecca ask Sean or Corey about the money concept. Turns out, TURNS OUT...if you don't make all sixty of your appointments? You get nothing. 59 appointments, you say? Nothing. We done just did a buncha free advertising, if we don't make their scale or somehow make more than the $2,000 mark by sales! Holy fuck, that is a quota. They lied to me. I was really, really mad. I barely felt like I owed them anything--double checked with Chris Steinwinder just to be sure! But it was the weekend now, so I'd wait to go in with Rebecca to quit with her (because she was gonna quit hearing that too!)...had me a line ready and every:
"Now, I did a job. Got nothing but trouble since I did it ... so let me make this abundantly clear: I do the job..? And then I get *paid*." - Captain Malcolm Reynolds.
...Only, I never got to do this. Rebecca decided not to even bother, didn't feel like she owed them a thing after stringing us along like that, so..there went my ride in to tell them anything. We just...didn't show up, from that point on. Whatever. On the plus side? Got out of a bad situation. More time with Jasmine. Plus, interesting training skills on the side. But on the downside? That buzz on me getting more money then ever before, to be able to provide for my people more than ever, it was killed. If not for Jasmine and such, I'd'a been downright moved to prompt depressed. But nope! Good things would happen, and I was moved to happiness despite the bumps right? Well. On the job front, it was touch-and-go. James wanted me to go try the Drive-In again (no one would ever see me ever, you know!) but Chris and Matt told me no.
In the meantime, me and Matt filled out apps for Gyro's 4D that Rebecca pretty much runs. We didn't *exactly* wanna work at some haunted house, but whatever right? Money's money, even if it's seasonal. By now Zeke is out, and we had a blast seeing him again man, and the very next day or so we hit the place where the director is shooting rehearsals to see if anyone's worth it. We go, but Zeke refuses to do his out of disliking the guy, knowing he'll get hired for the same thing he does every year anyway. He does me first, and I...this guy? Not cool. And I feel ridiculous, but I perform. He says he might want me. Turns out, that was fibbing...he *really* wants me, he wants me to be the star of the show, some guy names Striker! ...What?
But Matt? The dude treats Matt like shit, 'cuz Matt don't know what he wants from the guy. Asks him all manner of questions never asked on me...possibly for the same reason as to why I never got knives pulled on me or threatened back at Kirby; I'm huge, don't test me. But Matt? Naw, he's naturally a nice guy and comes off as it. It's the Hawai'ian shirts, I'm tellin' ya. Anyhow, so treats him like crap 'cuz he's like "would you shake someone or touch them in any manner?" and Matt goes, "if that's what you want me to do, then sure?" and so, the guy says he can't use Matt. ...What? But!...What?? So, he comes back and tells me and Zeke, we call bullshit to Rebecca, and Rebecca goes to talk to him, reversing his decision.
Unfortunately, the show don't start 'til October, and we needed money now, now, now. Why? Well my main motivation, again, was Jasmine. I've lived in worse, Hell I lived the streets, but she's tryin' to do that college thing and needs her own space. We're stuffed into the low-income two bedroom apartment at the Cockroach Hotel. Me, Matt, Jasmine, all sleeping in the living room. She needs outta there, so that means we need to get our shit up and going. ...More on this later (again). I tried to get multiple places...people were hiring! Party City, Chevron, Peet's Coffee & Tea! ALL hiring! They had signs!
They had confident people inside, "Sure brothers we'll hire you!"...but to talk to the managers, they put us off. We'd go in, we'd call, daily, whatever. No still looking, whatever. Never got back to us. And believe me brothers and sisters, we filled out so many applications, Kenney said it best--we filled out enough documents to paint the Sahara with ink. And that's before we discuss the infinitely more irritating (albeit consistently more convenient) online applications that most jobs now send you to. Save the trees, go green! Also, we'll add in a MILLION questions to the application process, just to IRRITATE you!
"Do you think stealing from your boss is ok? Yes or no?" WHO SAYS YES?!?! NO ONE! Waste of time!
Finally, as of...a week and a half ago or so, one of the many online apps I filled out got back to me. A man named Peter from PetSmart, the same job Dustin Welton worked at. It turns out, putting Dustin's name as a reference on the application is what caught their notice--Dustin there is a stocker, and that's exactly what they needed in me! So they call, and they want me in. Hell the fuck yeah! I take my time, then and there, to call on Dustin and thank him for his name--even if he wasn't contacted, it was my shoe in the door. I had an interview to get to the next day, but tonight? It was relaxin' time, and what better way then to hang out with Dustin himself right??
That's right, by sheer coincidence, Dustin is actually *in* San Francisco, down from Sacramento for the day! Coincidence alone!...well, if you believe in such things. Obi-Wan would tell us there's no such things as luck. So I tell him, Hell, he should stop by, and he says he'll find out if it's even possible--'cuz he's with Tilly. Turns out, Tilly now works as a...the exact title evades me, but she's essentially a Union's Champion. Fights for people's rights in the job. And she goes to where the work is, which in this case is San Fran right now. Stays there all week, comes back up to sleep at her and Dustin's apartment that they share with Brent on the weekends. Well holy fuck, time flies! And Tilly's makin' bank!
And Dustin's here to visit her 'cuz they miss each other, like couples will do.
So, Tilly's down, and they head on over to us, meeting me and Jasmine on the lawn (good times). We four walk back, and Tilly's on the hungry and is craving Indian food. Well, Santa Clara's all about that, so I say I got a place she can go but no cash at the moment (all on Matt's card somewhere, and she offers to cover!...Not just me, but Matt and Jasmine too! Jasmine says she can't go 'cuz she's got Helluva homework to do, but the rest of us go. Then we come back with the alcohols, and...unfortunately, it turns out Jasmine's got schooling she *must* get done tomorrow. So the whole notion of Dustin and Tilly staying over? Turned out to not be the best time, but *damn* was it good to see Dustin again, and to hear their various tales also had been very interesting. I felt caught up on Sacramento for sure.
Then the next day, with Chris Steinwinder's help, we shot off to interviews. It went well, and I'd be called back after he looked at one more person, with words that I got 100% on the questions asked and that he was pretty sure I'd be the guy due to my size and determination to working even if it is from 4am to 9am. Damn good news. In the meantime, I helped out ol' Zeke makin' Gyro's signs and putting them around the city. The notion was that we'd make 300 signs, getting paid $1 for making 1 sign, and $1 for putting up 1 sign. We spent all night puttin' them down, 'fore comin' home and takin' ol' Jasmine back to the Zekester's house to hang out and for work in the morning...damn good times. ...More on this later (again).
Unfortunately for us, as with most of reality, no one actually likes me and anyone I hang out with 'til they finally drop me off haha. Whatever work we put into this? Undone by the next day. That's the theme of my return to California, work your ass off and ...Nothin'. Some jabroni, no doubt competition from the other haunted houses, went about following our fairly obvious routes and uprooted all our signs we put down Wolfe, El Camino, Steven's Creek, Tully, Keys, Monteray, Capitol Expressway....gone, all of 'em. Well fuck. We told the big guy Dan, Zeke's boss (funny that word Dan...not the Dan at the Capitol Drive-In, which I've circled by often this last month!...might go work there again, what else I got? More on that later. Still, wouldn't be the same without Cody or Larry there...)
But they haven't given me and Zeke our money, which we were gonna split down the middle like a boss. But unfortunately, either they don't believe we did the work or they're simply being too busy to respond, but..as Jayne said, "Only fluid I see here is the puddle of piss refusing to pay us our wage!" I also went back to PetSmart to go take a drug test at the local clinic, and just yesterday gone and helped Rebecca fix their wardrobe HQ, putting stuff on the racks like Jasmine does at Nordstrom's haha...only, Halloween-based! So many crappy costumes...anyhow. PetSmart called during that, and confirmed I'm on board. I start Wednesday at 4am (thought it was today!), so....Finally, The Walk has come back to employment!...it's only 10 hours a week (sometimes more if lucky), $9 an hour...but hey. Better than $0. Dan and the Drive-In, you're next on my to-call list. Fuck poverty.
~Track Two - The Home Search~
The initial lineup, if you recall, was that me and Matt (Darnell) would move down here with Jim and Matt (Ridgway) into a four-bedroom house. Then Ridgway was obviously not paying his dues (Jim's words), so we changed it to three bedrooms between me and Darnell and Ridgway. Then, Jasmine got introduced into the feature but we stuck to the three-bedroom plan 'cuz it was just fine for me and Jasmine 'cuz........well, more on this later. Still is good, as far as I know, but we ended up upgrading from there back to a four-bedroom scenario when Ridgway started the scenario of intending to huck in more cash, and that's where we stand now. It'll be me and Jasmine to one room, and everyone else in their's, and with the help of some good friends (Jarrod, Nate, etc), we're able to scrounge up enough to just slam down and get it.
...Now all we do is wait, 'cuz today we look at a place!
But that's not to say there weren't hardships. This has been a tremendously difficult situation for nearly everyone...it's compact, and a lack of communication nearly tore things asunder. I fought tooth and nail, and everyone knows why--and I'm damned glad it worked out. We didn't get the three bedroom at the oldschool Greenpointe Apartments (the ones me, Brian, Jim, and Peter stayed at back in the day circa 2006) the first time, and passed up on the second time the moment the notion of a four-bedroom came into play. Again. We lost out on our first four-bedroom gathering funding, the second was just...weird...and now we look at our third later today, should be fine. I can't express how much I'm thankful for the help of everyone that has, from Bender all the way to Jarrod. You guys are tremendous, and I'll pay you back ASAP.
Sorry it's been so shitty so far.
~Track Three - The Love Search~
The biggest update of them all some of you already know due to me putting it up on the Facebook as a matter of proving a point to someone...someone that means a great deal, even now. When I did put up that I was "In A Relationship", dozens upon dozens of people flocked to my IM boxes and e-mail slots asking/demanding details on the kind of girl I'd choose...'cuz as anyone knows, I don't accept a girl very easily into my life, and the last relationship I was in was circa...five years ago? Right? Got usually no kinda need to be with anyone, so I look for the right one, I wait it out, and things go from there. To those that didn't ask, this very girl I ended up choosing was a girl named Jasmine Ann Courtney! Untraditional circumstances that they may be for me, it'd been a tremendous change in my life...for the better.
Now here's the thing, while this had been going on for a while, I never updated on it...more or less 'cuz I was waiting for things to become official before I announced anything. While we had this interest, this love, she'd come out of this real bad relationship with this jabroni Tony, and many other guys she'd been with just weren't good, and she was weighing in whether a relationship was even worth it...and me? I'm a slow guy anyhow. I don't rush. In fact, I even told her--I'll follow her lead, and she can let me know how far we go in her own time, her own pacing. So we've never actually been formally "boyfriend" and "girlfriend", and I was waiting 'til she gave me that go ahead, I was waiting 'til she made things official. The only reason the Facebook got the change is 'cuz she was remarking on how bitter it made her that the previously-mentioned jabroni that is Tony, the man she used to date, used to say he didn't have a Facebook!
...Even though, in reality, he just didn't want to bear her as his girlfriend so he could flirt around.
This struck me as downright madness. Who wouldn't want the honor? The honor So, to prove my point, I adjusted my Facebook meter to "In a relationship with Jasmine Courtney" so it would send her the invite, basically showing that when she was ready to accept it, it's there for her--that I, indeed, would be honored to display such a greatness on my Facebook, and anything else for that matter. ...Only, I've never done this with Facebook, and I didn't expect it to post I was in a relationship 'til she confirmed it. She didn't confirm it, so it didn't say who I was in a relationship with, but it did post I was in one, and by the time I realized what'd happened, people were spotting it and comin' down to my IMs in droves! They wanted to know! Hell, even my own mama was interested! So, there it stayed...because I thought about it, and Hell I considered myself taken. Off the market. Period.
This is the most amazing girl man, and I mean really. It's a funny story how this came about too, how I found out that Jasmine liked me--that's right, she told me! I was shocked, too! We were talking about that girl a few logs back...the one I thought canceled my trip to Oakland 'cuz I was too poor to go, that I'd been punished for being poor. The next day after, Matt Darnell kept in contact with this girl and found out that, after canceling, she'd explained that she had been very very jealous over the notion of me going to spend time with Jasmine instead 'cuz this was canceled on me (and it turns out that's the whole reason she did it was jealousy over Jasmine and her thinking we were already together or something--but I didn't find this out 'til later!), and Matt was like "well...of course he spends a lot of time with her compared to you, Jasmine lives here."
And we were explaining to Jasmine 'cuz she had overheard Matt explaining this to me, and how confused I was by this madness, and Jasmine waits on Matt's leave to say pretty much, well...at least Rebecca got one thing right. That, indeed, Jasmine liked me...and she tells me this, right then and there.
Man, jawdrop. Awuh?? And sure, other girls have--since five years ago, since my last relationship--tried to get with me, or there've been considerations. Who here remembers Britney circa 2006? Haha, but, in all cases it was one of those "hey let's get to know each other, and if I dig you and I think you're on par with the admittedly-high standards I got, then...sure." ...No one had the patience to do that scheme, tho. In this instance, it was a big difference tho, 'cuz I had already gotten to know Jasmine a lot, and even more from there on forward--like that fit of jealousy someone else had opened up doors for this, and Jasmine ended up fitting the perfect girl from years back in the mind--ever read the preview for the sequel book to Princess Bride, the chapter on Inigo Montoya? Things with Jasmine were exactly like that, damn near down to the appearance of the girl through the door in the shop. I mean, damn.
And it got bigger and bigger to the point where I was like, "no...this is the one I wanna be with for the rest of my life." Through the Kirby, through the joblessness, through the hard times, she was there for me to love and care for me, and I did everything I could to help her and do what I could...which admittedly ain't much, but I had my morals right? I mean, morals go a long way. You're a moral upstanding guy, shit doesn't go wrong 'cuz karma's got you ba...uh...well. I mean, at least with morals, your friends trust and resp...well? Ok, ok, lemme try again, morals gets you into jobs t....fuck. Well, at least someone special will alw...huh. ...Yeah, never mind. Point is, I'm a good ol' fashioned type, and I tried to show her I ain't like these other cats she ran with--I'm worth her time, and she dug it and seemed to agree. Things went very, very well.
And lemme tell you about this girl, lemme run down her stats...or scratch the surface of 'em anyway. She's incredibly smart, for one. Stress clouds, but when she's on the happy and calm, she gets shit all manner of right; she scored 100% on both placement tests to enroll into college (I only got 100% on my English!), she's resourceful, cunning, gorgeous, independent, benevolent, works well as a team player...I mean I could go on and on! She outshines the star brighter than any sun! The eyes! The hair! The smile! The sheer personality of it, nothing like it, the only place I ever saw anyone like it (and it was indeed exactly like it) was in my mind years and years previous. Something like this? Just doesn't come that often, and ever since she told me she liked me, it was like..damn, I got a chance with this, this could be happiness finally at last right? Well, let's do it!
And like I said, took things slowly--let her decide what's when for how. Hugs went to hand-holdings, that turned to kisses and "I love yous", I mean...sure there was stress about, but there's never going to be an end to stress in life. Like the song says, "Storms will come--this we know for sure, this we know for sure--but can you stand the rain?" And damn sure it seemed we could. I mean, my soul sang here, man. Angels are dancing in my head again, I'm skipping down the road singin' her name, people might be laughing? But I just don't give a damn, 'cuz here I am, crazy in love! And like I said, I didn't post any updates here on this--or any, 'cuz this would be required in any update-entry!--'cuz I wanted it official before I really did blow any horns, even tho I accidentally leaked it somewhat with the Facebook blunder...and, well, things eventually did become official. Just...not the way that I expected, or hoped.
A little bit of background sets the scene right: Jasmine, when I met her, had a job at Nordstrom's at the Valley Fair mall, one bus ride away and 20 hours a week thereabouts. She wanted to enroll into college (who doesn't?) and decided her first time through to enroll 15 units into said college--count 'em. Now, anyone familiar with college knows that 15 is a lot, even if it a "full time student"...it's on the heavier side of that, Chris Steinwinder being a teacher for colleges in his past estimates it at about..48 hours a week's worth of work. Now, normally when starting out in college you wanna treat it like a cold pool--slowly get in, get used to it. Few units your first ride in, test that shit out...especially if you intend a job on the side, and Nordstrom's is no normal job. They're very superficial there, these girls; it's like Sorority Life, but beyond High School and still alive and well. Expectations, expectations.
And being in a living room with no room of your own, no cash to bus to the library? Makes studying hard.
Anyhow, what she didn't expect is that she was so kickass at this job that, within four months of having this job, she'd get promoted to doing The Rack as an Assistant Manager, which is essentially where they train you to become something bigger in a few month's time. Awesome! Raise, and leadership!! Downsides? Well one, it's learning new shit quickly rather than doing what you already knew. Always stressful. Two? Her hours went from about 20 a week to about 50 a week. Three? Her location moved from Valley Fair to Westgate, a much farther distance, especially as far as the bus is concerned--you gotta take two to get there, and it can be an hour to an hour and a half bus ride. No car, still...something she'd been working on, but whenever you wanna make big changes in life--especially several like move, college, car, promotions, etc--things take time, and patience. Rome wasn't built in no day. (or month, for that matter.)
Now, sidebar, I know what some of you are thinking--it was already brought to my attention a few times before. "Walker", they say, "YOU used to work 12 hours a week, six days a week, doing an hour and a half bus ride there, and an hour and a half bus ride back, taking two buses each way, all the time, while also taking college! Why is this so tough for her??" Well there's a few factors that make the difference here. First and foremost, I worked for the Capitol Drive-In. Sure, more challenging in terms of the many jobs to do and the many fights you had to break up? But, not in the atmosphere itself. You gotta wear black jeans, and that's it. Here? There's so, so much that goes into every detail. Everyone expects you to be a model citizen--emphasis on the "model". Bus rides are not conducive to the image, and while I couldn't give a fuck what people think about me--even my employers (who remembers how many rules I broke?? Haha!), not everyone can be expected to be this beacon for maverick and freedom as I always am.
Secondly, I'm a dude. Scratch that, I'm a tall dude that's apparently tall and creepy if you ask some folk. People that are not giant Samoans on PCP do not mess with me. She? She's a chick. Not just any chick, a hot chick--the bus? She gets hit on constantly, and none of the ways are complimentary or flattering or even safe. And last but not least, when I did do the college thing while working at the same time, I took two classes down at the San José City College with Zeke and Megan; Philosophy and History, two things I adore, and that's it. Six units, not fifteen. And me and Zeke would just library that shit for our homework, something she can't rightly do. And while I got this immeasurable willpower to deal with things even if they were worse--I've been through more pain than that, right? Lost people more important than that!--I couldn't say I was entirely very happy, if you remember those days. Not that I'd quit either, I'm too bitter about losing.
So...I mean, fuck loads are on her plate as it is. So at this one point, she gets an F on a test that had none of the material she just got through studying. She was really, really upset by this because while her grades haven't been fantastic, an F is apparently very unheard of for her (I "never got good grades as a little boy", myself...must be nice!) and it was depressing...but we weathered through it through the power of rum and Firefly. And man...when the day's at an end, we're at the highest moment so far in this relationship, it's just fantastic. I'm on cloud 9, life is beautiful. ...Then the next day happens. This was about a week ago. She goes to get her driver's license, which means driving around with her once-abusive step-dad (I say once, 'cuz he's got the cancer now and can't do heavy-handed anythings...in fact, now he's gotta be babysat more or less.) and passing the test. Which, of course, she does--she's a little genius! Prodigy even, maybe.
Then she wants to go down to the car lot to get a car...which she really doesn't, for some reason, want to get a car off the streets. Used car, tho...so she goes there, but they won't finance her. And either before or after (or during?) all this, the notion of her test and grades comes up in conversation with the mother (who isn't the best person to tell things to, she does things like "do this or you're not gonna see your sisters again"...as a starter.) and the mom here flips out and argues with Jasmine for at least a half hour, summarizing that if she doesn't get at least a B average, she's gonna have to pay off that laptop her mom bought FOR her. Well fuck, right? Hardships all over, and the used car lot won't even finance her 'cuz her credit ain't stellar in this day and age of recessions (no one gets a car off the lot easy without shit-tons of cash, it's common knowledge.)
And I guess doing this stuff cost her two more tests or some such? So coming home to that, after all that, Jasmine pretty much careened into depression. Real good. And her notion of fixing depression is what she's labeled as the "Fuck its", which is everything is just shrugged off. She was talkin' like she was quittin' ("I'm not Triple T...I'm not a hitter, I'm a quitter...") on the college, just giving it all up but the focus on the job. Not something I agreed to, and I tried my best to pull her out that and give her the hope, up to and including a journal entry dedicated to the very notion. Like, I was extremely worried. But not half as worried as I should have been. In this despair, she became kinna unresponsive...and told me, "hey I act weird when depressed, don't worry it'll wear off" and explained to me this "fuck its" process good and clear so I wouldn't worry too much...
But I mean, little things like the "I love you"s and the "I miss you"s didn't much get a reply.
She ended up spending a lot of time away from home, partying off her problem. Who could blame? It's a shame what she's been through. Only, when she'd come back, it was more of that...I dunno, something didn't feel right, right? Even if they smile, the short answers and the lack of hugs or more, it's not that I require these things--I don't!--it's that they were so freely done before, and suddenly there was this massive turnaround. And at first I was like it's gotta be the depression. Right? Makes sense. ...Then, I started to worry. And that worry grew into a pit. Even the usual e-mails sent to cheer her up added up to nothing. I walked to Westgate to help her out, but that's about the most excitement I got out of her (and I missed her anyway XD 12 mile walk without pause for the win!)...in essence, I worried that I'd done something to make her angry. And that bothered me more than I'd like. But folks said, naw dude, it's just the hard times, she'll be back together for you know it, and even Sarah did a great deal to calm my nerves on it.
But it wasn't working. I got restless with the worry, racing and pacing, standing and sitting. Asking for hugs when she was around felt forced, holding hands wasn't allowed, something intangible in the air! And then she came back home from her mom's with a new car. Essentially, her mom dropped $5,000 on the car, and now Jasmine only has to pay her mom back. ...Being in that pocket wouldn't make me happy, but oh well good news right? Jasmine's ecstatic! And I feel myself, driving in that new car, believing my worry dissolving...and I thought, Damn Walker. You silly for thinking any wrong, Sarah was right. Things're gonna be just fine. Went home, asked on a kiss, it was a no-go...but that's 'cuz she was sick right? No worries. I stay on awake 'til the wee hours to ensure she wakes up for work without trouble, and then proceed to bed.
...Only. I give an "I love you", as she leaves. Testing the water. Just a wave. Suddenly it was back again, that inkling something wasn't right, something was held back, purpose and intention...pit in my stomach, worry that I'd lost what's most sacred and important to me. And I held it 'til she came back and said she was going to her friend Katie's house, and..wait, she's sick. Why there? Is she uncomfortable around me now? I couldn't take it anymore. Friends said wait, but my heart said communication is key in anything, and so off I went to communicate. She'd left and so I decided an e-mail the most readily at this moment and drew one up, basically expressing everything I've jotted here--that I worried on upsetting her, didn't want to lose her, and was this just her needing space, or indeed was I just seeing things?
Well. It turns out I wasn't wrong. She returns a little faster than I expected, but she tells me essentially that she figured I'd figure something out...indeed, she says she doesn't have time for a relationship. And, here I am a little confused. If I had cats to look left to right to, I might'a eyed my imaginary buddies and wait for them to translate what I just heard. Did I seem like someone that needed time spent on me? Really, I'm not usually one for coddling, and even less for being coddled. ...If he needed to back off from doing things with me, that's no call to split a relationship right? Togetherness is about loving one another, and if she loves me...hey, there you go. She didn't *have* to do things like jam with me at Zeke and Rebecca's house for the good times that she had! I just figured...you know, if you don't do something to take a break and enjoy life every so often, you'll run yourself dead in the ground and be downright unable to function.
For real, if you're not *living* life, what're you doing?? The Rock recommends this, so it's kosher.
So I didn't get it, I was confused, I wasn't someone who insisted on time. I didn't get it. Sometimes, I'm not very smart, and sometimes I'm just downright wrong. And I was bewildered, and upset, and while unmanly sounding, griefed. But I said what I said here, I don't ask for time, and relationships are a thus-and-so, and she was like "...Walker you don't get it. I don't want a boyfriend, and even if I did, I wouldn't know who I'd want." and I was like, damn! Forcefeed my whole foot into my mouth kinda damn! *Damn!* ...Well, I knew she had homework to do, and I...for some reason, I thought fighting wouldn't solve anything. I resigned it to a "do what'cha gotta do" and...I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do.
So if you were all curious, that's why I was upset earlier. But, she did no wrong, she's good people. Here's how the rest of it goes:
I gotta admit it, y'all, I felt *bad*. So who'd I call? I called on the BSG. While most were throwing down their support--Mitch, Chris Harris, Bender...Zeke was the closest away from here, actually in this city (second closest would be Jake and #2 in Sacramento), so I gave him a call and he heard it in my voice man. He needed to get me out, and we needed to hammer out the problem. ...Or drink it out. He was on his way to a meeting, so he told me to wait here, and I did--got a shower done, some laundries, but more or less just kinda...paced.
I wanted to turn back time, and dropkick misfortune. I had now wondered maybe she found relationships worthless, and I wanted to show her...no! That ain't the way! Like, I thought we were a team, you know? Tackle the problems, her and me, Barack Obama and Michelle, David and Fox Xanatos, Cordelia Naismith and Aral Vorkosigan! We *got* this!...if they can do it, we got this!...then it'd just settle in again. No, we didn't. It was done. I consulted the K-Ci & JoJo, and I ended up at Milestone's "I Care About You" to sum it up.
A sidebar, the last time I played in an Alternate Reality Hero-System RPG campaign, the girlfriend I had at the time (at the time, in spring 2003) was NPC'd as someone I'd watch over to make sure nothing happened, and she died. And that very next time I talked to her, she broke up with me after that two and a half year relationship. I hadn't played a Hero-System AR campaign since 'til just last Saturday when Brian started one, and sure enough Jasmine was the girl watched over and...tidal wave! She's dead!...then breakup. Well, we weren't ever really together I guess?.. Am I cursed? ...Ok, joking aside (although it is true). Fuckin' Brian. Anyway, back to the story:
Well Zeke got me, and we took off. Headed to his sister's to move a bed to his father's, and then got the whiskey and headed back to the house. And we did what any depressed man would do, and that's to drink sorrows away. Only, it didn't work like that...none of it did. I was downright morose, I didn't really even want to live, and I certainly wanted her back. No distraction would do, for to blink would be just to see her. And any other number of corny-sounding things you can come up with that were actually true, 'cuz that's what happened. Hadn't felt this kinda way in...well, forever. Due to BSG spreading news, other friends of mine got on the concern. Nate asked me the haps, and I told him...and he said, "you just let her go? You didn't fight for her? That doesn't sound like the Walker I know...oh well." ...And he was right. My brother then calls me on Zeke's phone and he says much the same, tells me his view of it, relating it to a story of Grendel and Beowulf...
Fight for that shit, but also give it space. If it was meant to be, it was meant to be, but don't give up.
Then, *then* it dawns on me, through them, from that. In the middle of it all, I suddenly...amp up. Things connect. Hey, yeah, I'm Walker Pennington. Ain't we browncoats some Big Damn Heroes? Well, if Lindsey taught us anything, it's "Every day you sit behind your desk and you learn a little more to accept the world the way it is. Well, here's the rub...heroes don't do that. Heroes don't accept the world the way it is. They fight it." So...why accept this?? And with this new determination, and that rattlesnake smile, I done went back to the drawing board, back to typing. I didn't get it, it didn't click for me why it had to be this way for her...where I'm from? You work at love 'til it works, and you never give up. Money, college, jobs, that shit's just material, and that shit'll always be there, but like ol' Xanatos said..."True Love is so much harder to come by." ...And I truly loved this girl, so as an OldSchool Walker would, I'd fight for it.
I realized, Self? This happens all the time, you never win. What's this glum? No sense in it. Just be true.
So I wrote her that next letter, sayin' a similar things. That...just because she's taken that love, folded it up nice, and put it back in the box, doesn't mean I gotta follow suite. The facts are this: I love her, and that is not going to change. I didn't mean to be an asshole, although I guess I came off as mean? I didn't mean to sound mad even, either times I talked to her since, I was just so very turned around by it. I told Nate what was up, and he's like "that's more like the Walker I know. Let her know how you feel", and I couldn't agree more. It's not like I was expecting her to change her mind, Hell that'd never happen. But, I aimed to prove that taking a chance with me would be worth her while, and like ol' Freddie Mercury said, "Remember: Love's stronger. Remember, Love conquers all." I promised her once I'd fight for her happiness even if she didn't want to be, and damn right I am. It doesn't matter if she doesn't love me, 'cuz I love her! And'ja done! I remembered ol' Zak from '99's advice even now:
PiccoloESF: Walker
PiccoloESF: this will possibly be the biggest decision of your life
PiccoloESF: but, if you know with no doubt in your heart WHAT SO EVER, that you will EVER want anyone other then her
PiccoloESF: then know now that Koo-koo-whatever will pass
PiccoloESF: but if you dont know, i advise that you let go for a period... at least...
PiccoloESF: and try to move on
PiccoloESF: ive seen others take their stand and tell you whats good for you
PiccoloESF: but you need to make the choice for yourself
BladeESF: heh.. I am certain.
PiccoloESF: im glad
PiccoloESF: then the rest is not as hard
BladeESF: yes.. I've made that choice...
PiccoloESF: Walker, if you have chosen the hard road, that you will stick with her
PiccoloESF: then i advise a few things
There it was, that same ol' advice, applyin' today. ...In short, I told her I'd be waiting. And I dotted that sumbitch with a <3.
Well like I said, she thought I was mad at her. I tried elaborating, she read, but the only reply is that she didn't like how I was handling. I suppose 'cuz I sounded damned depressed--and I was, not gonna lie. How else was I supposed to take that? But, I was also alive, electrified, and I assured her I was coming home without worry, without the pressure. We could talk when she wanted to. Getting home, she did try to, and so I tried to explain my position some more--I loved her. Period. And maybe some day she'd take me back, but 'til then, I was here to help and I was on her side. I think she got frustrated at this point though, and it's obvious it's 'cuz I'm sounding pressuring by using the "L" word. ...Yeah. I shouldn't elaborate so much. That's when I then had to take off with Rebecca to go help with the wardrobe place. And then after, I went to hang out with Chris Steinwinder...and from there, it was all figured out. It clicked, what she was saying.
...and I got it.
Steinwinder said it best, "it's not a matter of you not needing time, when she says she doesn't have time for romance right now, she probably means she's thinking about you a lot in her mind because she loves you. So, it's distracting her work, and she probably feels that maybe that's why she's behind, and right now she needs to catch up to where her life is comfortable before she can continue that line of thinking." ...Wow, there it was, so that's what it all meant. And that's when I took a different stance then my usual win-that-shit-back. This is when, while I don't agree for all the reasons that I think love ought to be priority ('cuz how often does it happen? With worthwhile people?), that...what she wants is more important. This isn't about me, if I love her, she's gotta have support...especially in a life as chaotic as she has right now, she needs stability, and someone she can rely on.
Even if she's not my girl, I'm still her friend, and I'm here for her when she needs me. That's how it is.
I'm not gonna give her up, I'm not gonna stop loving her, naw...like the Zakster said, " if you know with no doubt in your heart WHAT SO EVER, that you will EVER want anyone other then her"...then you keep on keeping on. And I intend. But, I'm also not throwin' anything around. Don't push. No pressure. I ain't mad at her, I got nothin' but love for her, and she has to do her thing...and maybe, someday, somehow, I'll be honored by her love again, I'll earn it again, maybe some day she'll give me another chance, another go. I have faith. I'm here to help her in her life any way that I can, and that's what I'm gonna do, right here in front of her. She's still gonna be here, and I can still keep an eye and do what I can to make sure she's ok to the best of my ability. That's what it's all about.
So, that's the two-month wrap up in it's entirety. It's a lot to soak in, a lot to read, but if you don't see me around, or I ain't as chipper as most? Now you know the whys. It sucks the things you want in life don't actually happen sometimes, and I should be used to it, but don't worry on rumored suicidal tenancies...anyone who knows me knows I'm *way* too bitter to ever give up; can't let anyone who'd gladly enjoy my death and loss have their reward. Spite alone will spin me forward, as it always has. Depression? Yeah, I got it. I also eat e-thugs for breakfast, what else is new? The point is, I met the most amazing girl--like some sort of bad ass ninja RKO Princess! And she's amazing, and that's the best thing that's...ever happened to me. This is Walker Pennington signing off. PS: I ran out of Mr. T and Eric Bischoff quotes for the end of my journals, soooo...John McClane it is from now on! ('Til the next guy.)
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
John McClane Sez: "Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothin'. You get shot at. Pat on the back, blah blah blah. 'Attaboy.' You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. [I do this] because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so *I'm* doing it. That's what makes you that guy."
PS: Hey, yo. Now, I'd already done a big chapter dedicated to this very important person, but...that person has since requested that it not be available to the masses, so it's been taken down...most importantly because I do not want to offend the most important person in my entire life. I'm in her corner, and that's all that needs be said anymore. So instead, we're gonna fill this space up with a diversion on similar concepts--the last great thesis, the last great act, the last great piece...written by Peter Molski on our feelings on love, you might hear me call him Rahan more like. Oldest friend I got by far, knows tons about me, and when he wrote this--it just sang our mutual beliefs. So, if you've never read it before...ladies and gentlemen, here we are, the Divine Pursuit of the One True Love!:
What is the Divine Pursuit of the One True Love?
It is an acknowledgment that you are searching for the one person who is your absolute, 100% perfect companion. This person need not be "perfect", that's an impossibility. This person is simply the one who absolutely compliments your very being, and you absolutely compliment theirs.
Being a follower in said divine pursuit is not a religious affiliation It is simply an undeniable statement, that you are standing up for what you truly believe in.
There is such a thing as a one true love.
Being a "follower" is quite the literal thing. You are not required to pay tribute or tithe to any one god or goddess, nor to a pantheon of them. The only thing required of you is an honorable and just pursuit of your one true love.
You will not allow any minor obstacles get in your way. You are not Romeo, nor are you Juliet, and the world is not a tragedy. If two people are truly determined, and truly love one another? They can conquer all.
You will not debase or degrade yourself for the sake of "love". Anyone who requires such an action does not truly love you, and chances are they never will.
You will conduct yourself in a way becoming that of a truly honorable gentleman or lady. You will not resort to lies, deceit, or treachery to achieve your goal. What sort of message would you be sending to the one you love if you only show that you are willing to be deceptive to gain their hand?
If you are in direct competition with another being for the hand of your love, you will treat them with as much respect as you, yourself, deserve. If you truly believe you are the better, more suited person, then your own actions should speak for you and make the decision obvious. Spite and rage only make the decision against you easier. We may be reckless, we may make rash decisions, but above all, we are honorable. We are just. And we are infinitely more loving than the average human being. We are the followers in the divine pursuit of the One True Love, and under penalty of pain or death, we will not waver in our search.
True love conquers all.
If you at all agree with this, feel free to post it somewhere on your MySpace, with a simple credit to the author. I hope these words strike a chord, and that I'm not the only idiot on the Internet to think these things hold merit.
While the following is truly directed at solely one person... I would appreciate it if everyone told me this... if these words mean something at all to you, especially coming from me? Please, tell me. Let me know, in the greatest of detail, what you think.
Thank you, and good luck to all." - Peter Floros Mouzes Molski, RahanAkero@aol.com
current mood:  down another day
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| Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
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10:22 pm - ~Guaran-damn-tee: Shadow Dreams.~
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Another quick one, as I watch Matt play Zelda, as I watch Jim type it up, as I watch Jasmine sleep off her hard day...you know...sometimes, emotionally, we get spent. There's a scientific thing for it actually, the part of your brain responsible for hope is closely tied to your memories, and the ability to have hope draws from memories of good times through the use of these...serotonin. Anyway, it's all a buncha scientific mumbo-jumbo, but what it equates to is this: Everyone, and I mean everyone, gets emotionally spent. Everyone gets depressed, everyone feels like they've hit the end of their rope, everyone feels like there's just no way to do this or that, and they try to huck logic at it to assist their decisions to...cease.
Cease what? Cease their goals, cease their dreams. Let me be the first one to tell you, it never quits if you refuse to quit. You never, ever fail 'til you choose to fail. You never lose, 'til you're giving it up. Sometimes..? Sometimes, the answer to your problems takes time to get to you. Sometimes, it seems absolutely impossible, and sometimes? That's your lack of serotonin blocking your way. Here's what's reality: anything can happen, if you put your mind to it. I know that sounds corny, but that's a guaran-damn-tee, courtesy of someone who loses out, and has lost out, in many of his attempts to see things done...and still came out on top.
I'm not saying my life's perfect. But, my life's also not over. I got a lot of goals, a lot of hopes, and I'll be the first to admit, I've been at that place where I was positive, absolutely positive, I was done. That, there was no hope. That, I'd never make it back to California again. That, I'd never get to see college again. That, I'd never be able to replace the friends I've lost like I have...that, I'd never find love, real-deal love again. And you know what? Each and every time, I've been proven wrong--Hell, each and every time, I've proved it wrong, to myself. So, I implore...anyone, everyone, and a specific someone!...don't you ever give up.
It may not happen now, or today, it may not work out instantaneously. Hell, it may not even work out exactly the manner that you planned it, but you'll get what you need if you stick to your guns. Need a car? You'll get it. Need something to go right? You'll get it. Need a hand? You'll get it. Give it a second, it's going to space! And Life's an interesting beast; often times, when you tell yourself you can't do something? You can't do it. So, don't do it.
Just remember to never give up on the things, or more importantly the people, that matter most, and remember to not let the emotionlessly logical step cloud what's more important...because while we can be logical, we're creatures of emotions, and those emotions define who we are. Logically? Sure, maybe if my boss mistreats my fellow employee, speaking up against it at the risk of losing my job doesn't make sense right? But fuck that. That friend's a million times more important than any job, just as surely as rescuing and living with his sister was more important to Simon Tam then being a successful doctor with loads of money and prestige and his own house and etc.
You see, the thing is: things, happen, for a reason. I'm not saying I go so far as to believe in fate without question, no I think Humans got their ability to have their own decisions when the down comes to the down. But, you're put on paths, and there are roads, and while we choose what roads we decide to follow..? The roads all lead to somewhere, we don't make those roads. At least, not usually. Divine plans? God? Not saying anything about that, but I am, absolutely and without a doubt, saying things'll work out. And sometimes, that means things look bleak for a minute--Hell, going offa my luck? Things look bleak all kinds, 'til the last possible second! ALWAYS happens, always. Hell, when it's me in the scenario, it always goes off my luck for EVERYONE, so for EVERYONE it looks bleak...'til the last possible minute.
"It always gets worse, before it gets better." Or, alternatively, "It's always darkest before the dawn." Right?? So, no sense in giving up.
See, my granddaddy before me was a lot like myself...he tried hard in his life, to get things done for the people he loved. And, of course, he got knocked down again, and again. Life beat him down but good, and as he's slow to learn like myself, he was always...a little behind other folk. But once he learned it, once he got in? Hell, he did better then any of 'em. So, even at his darkest hours, I'm sure he sat there and said...I'm never going to succeed. I'm 25, I'm unmarried and single, I've got no job to speak of, college shaky, all of these things--felt like a real failure. By the time it was all over, though? Owned his own company, best for miles and miles. And I could give you a hundred more success stories, just like that one.
I think a buddy of mine said it right, "persistence prevails and never fails." Old High School friend, Stuart Westphal, he said that. And that was easily, easily, the best way to summarize my outlook on things, and exactly how true it was is breathtaking. Doesn't mean every task you perform will be met with 100% success, no...what it means is, "at first you don't succeed, you try try again", and that sumbitch is gonna cave eventually. Again, guaran-damn-teed, courtesy of someone who's many-a-time seen a mighty despair, and with patience, and sheer spite (so bitter, I refused to quit even if I felt thoroughly sure I'd lose), beat back hard times left and right and proceeded to win the day.
In short, we'll make it. And we'll make it together. I know, I know, there are people out there that hate relying on friends, that relying on friends makes you week...well, fuck that. I wouldn't be here today without the friends that helped me when I needed it, Hell I'd be dead, and now I'll be in a position to help people when I can, and right back at 'em there are friends out there who, through my help, are in places in their life they'd'a never gotten to without the helping hand. Everyone needs a helping hand, and while miracle cures aren't dime-a-dozen, you give me the chance..? I'll find us a way. But don't ever, ever, give up on your dreams, your passions, even if what you would prefer to do doesn't seem feasible", you go on to chase it anyway. Like ol' Will Smith said:
Shadow dreams, they seem so distant
But the light is strong, and no you can't resist it
Keep on pushing, hold out your hand
But light is your friend, go on in!
It's always darkest before the light,
Nothing's worth having if it's not worth a fight,
No love without labor, no labor? No love.
Draw on the strength bestowed from above!
What can go wrong *will* go wrong,
But if you fall off a horse just get back on!
...
Fourteen years old, I used to want a Beamer
I guess you could say I was what you'd call a shadow dreamer
I told my father that I didn't think I'd ever get in
I said I might as well just forget it.
My father said, "Son, don't be talking so dumb
Hard work and education makes anything come!
And plus a shadow dream ain't as far as it seem
Son, you used to *be* a shadow dream."
Life is a mystery, but let's check history
To see how many people's shadow dreams came true
And if the other people's shadow dreams are equal,
Then why can't the next shadow dreamer be you?
That's the philosophy I live my life by,
When things get hard through the stress and strife I
Keep on pushing with a full head of steam,
Like a train through the tunnel to my shadow dream." - Will Smith
So bust out some Beatles, some Ray Charles, and "let it be, let it be! There will be an answer, let it be." 'Cuz I absolutely promise, things will get better. Never give up, I'm here for you.
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
"I know it seem hard sometimes, but uh..remember one thing. Through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out, keep your head up...and handle it." - Tupac Amaru Shakur.
current mood:  hopeful
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| Thursday, September 10th, 2009
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12:15 pm - ~Fight For What's Right!~
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Yet another journal entry with less "updates" and more "tellin' it like it is", so skip around it if you want to, but here's some facts for the whole world if they didn't know already...doing the right thing? Sometimes leaves you up Shit Creek without a paddle. And doing the right thing was never, ever, about that.
That's right, this goes out to all the cats out there that continue to do things to, or for, people based on a checks-and-balances book that is their own reward system. "Oh sure I'll do this good thing, if it's not too far out of my way"--NO. Do good BECAUSE it's out of your way! People don't seem to get that, they think they're the good guys 'cuz they do good things, even though they're only willing to do a good thing when there's something for it in the end, or when it's not an issue for them--shit that's on the way anyhow. That's not what friends are about, and most importantly, that needs to not be what PEOPLE are about.
Doing the right thing isn't also always about HELPING people, either--although that's a big one, because doing "good" is often defined by sacrificing The Self for the sake of Others. But sometimes, doing the right thing is about not rewarding those that commit the bad. What are consequences in this world if they're made of paper? Why do we forgive people who are not truly repenting of their terrible deeds, people who aren't even *sorry* for the things they've done to you? ...Wait, 'cuz you need something out of him? I'm the first person in line to let people I don't like buy me a meal if they want to talk to me about how much they fucked up or other strictly-business scenarios, but that's really it.
GAIN something? I'm being in this person's life, I'm hanging out with them, I'm expecting others to appreciate them, I'm being FRIENDLY with this person that bought himself toys, that bought herself clothes, instead of paying any rent, and I'm still hanging out with this person, I'm still SMILES with this person? Mother-fuck-that. "They buy me these things", "they pay this amount", I don't care. Like I said in the intro, sometimes doing the right thing? Ain't about helping your situation. In fact, sometimes doing the right thing may very, very well hurt your situation, sometimes tremendously. That's not what doing the right thing was ever about. It's about showing the bad folk out there that doing what they've done to you is unacceptable, and you're here to do good for those that deserve good.
What is Courage? To the great armies of the clans, Courage is easy. But what is Courage when victory is assured? What does it mean to die for a cause when it is certain others will carry the tales of your glory? To deny the employment of a wicked master and face cold and starvation, to die in a shallow grave for a worthy cause no one will ever remember--that is the Courage of a Ronin. - Honor of a Ronin quote.
Take it from Mike the Denny's Cook: Fuck 'em.
THAT being said, I am NOT saying to never, ever forgive someone either. If someone is truly sorry, if someone really didn't enjoy your reaction, if someone really, really realizes they've fucked up? And they apologize, sincerely, and then make an active move to change their life away from the villainry? Then that's someone you can forgive. And that's also not to say you can't learn things from the bad guys, or you have to hate everything there is to hate about them just because THEY hate it...naw. I had this talk once a few weeks ago where we detailed that just because someone's fucked up and is no longer in our lives because of it, doesn't mean we didn't learn a valuable personality trait or appreciation for a certain thing they did.
“Only a Human would allow their feelings get in the way of admiring another's work!” - Ghim the Dwarf.
And it IS very Human of us to do that, and to realize we're doing it is also pretty important. Take the people that've burned me over the years real bad...think I got no mutual respect for some of the things Justin can do, the philosophies he's had? No, I learned a lot from that cat. You think 'cuz me and Tommy, just 'cuz we're on the worst terms a man can be, that I didn't learn so much from that man?? No way! Dude was a mentor, even if he used his methods for bad in the end. Howsabout Nick Troyer? Think just because we're having our thing now, means I think he's worthless guttertrash? Think again--I know Nick's got badass shit in him, we wouldn't have been friends in the first place without it.
...That's not the point.
Hell, you can even LIKE someone you shouldn't forgive, but the point is, they still fucked up, and they know it, and you know it, and they're not sorry, they'll still do terrible things like mistreat people, mistreat their girls, lie and cheat and steal from inside your own home, so why should you be forgiving? That's not to say never be forgiving--me and Jacob, for instance, had our bad times, right? Real bad. But in the end, he came down from his bad and he apologized, changed his ways, I saw that for what it was--now the guy's one'a my best friends all over again, completely revamped from the man that stole my computer over a year ago. But that doesn't mean just accept any ol' apology--accept one off the bat, but if they don't change their ways (read: Seamak), fuck 'em.
And if a person apologizes multiple times, and still doesn't change? Don't forgive 'em 'til they change their ways first--Hell, don't even associate with these kinds of assholes. They aren't worth your time, and even if they WERE worth your time, making your life easier and richer in the end? That ain't what doin' the right thing's all about.
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
current mood: bitter
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| Monday, August 17th, 2009
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6:18 pm - ~You Know What's BULL SHIT~
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Those so-called friends, that break when the tape ends. Yeah, you know the ones. Listen, I know, I know, this is a little rant is prolly gonna be looked at as bitching, but I've really fucking had it. If hearing about what people do wrong out there disturbs you, stop reading. If you wanna hear a tale or two, see a lesson to give to others, whatever, pull up a fuckin' chair and let's do this shit:
So last weekend, I had someone I wanted to go visit. Not far, but far enough...like, it'd be me taking a Bart, and spending $20. Unfortunately, at the time I didn't have any money when this offer came up. Just got here to California. So, she says hey, I'll pay the cost, you just come up here and let's hang out right? Right, no problem--and I kinna feel bad, but she assures me it'll be fine, I can pay it back or at least half, all of this. So, it's on. Only one problem...she's gonna pay me when I *get* there. Meaning, I need to borrow the money to go to it.
It becomes quickly apparent that any money I could borrow from, say, Jasmine for instance wasn't going to be available--I borrow money from my mom, but she could only send it after Friday...couldn't borrow from Jasmine 'cuz Jim had not yet given her money back (all week). So, it was looking like I couldn't, even if she found a way to reduce the fee to only the $5...we just didn't have the means to get that $5 to meet her half-way. She got very, very upset about this, and so what does she do? Deletes MySpace, Facebook, and decides to cut off all contact with me when I said it wasn't looking like I could go.
What the fuck kind of shit is this? Did I just get punished for not having money, again? Am I seriously losing friends over green toilet paper? I fuckin' hate money, I really do--I with transportation was free, I wish I had a job, I wish for a lot of fucking things, but for fuck's sake give a guy a break, he just got here! This was with other things I've argued with this person all week...including "I can't borrow your book 'cuz your poor", "you can't hang out 'cuz you might miss a job opportunity", and my personal favorite, "take me off your top friends 'cuz I'm a different number than I was before".
Seriously. Really? Like...those people I put up on there were from Metrocon Star Party that I thought fucking rocked, and I don't really have a "favorites" order with my Top Friends, that's just who they fucking are--these 40 people are worth my mention. If they could scramble only those 40 people, I'd make it do that, but it fucking does it. So what if Katie's above you? Listen, here's a short history lesson using Katie, one of the people on my Top Friends due to jammin' with her and her crew as Tech Crew at Metrocon:
People cooler than Katie? Not very many. Like, no seriously, Katie is fucking awesome. It'd take miracles for a person not to like her, she's full of life and coolness and so on. People getting to be on the same "these people fucking rock" list as her? If I were on that list, I wouldn't be like, "BAH GAWD KATIE IS HIGHER THAN ME BAWWWWWWWW", you know?? I'd be like, "Aw Hell yeah, people think I'm as cool as Katie!"...or, if I didn't fucking know Katie, I'd not be jealous and/or upset, at Katie, or at the person who put me below her on a list, I'd be like "this Katie person? Must rock the fucking house!" and any research would show me that.
But asking me to take you the fuck off, 'cuz of a person like this? Are you fucking serious?? What were they THINKING?...yeah, that was bad, but no more friends 'cuz I couldn't make it to hang out with you on your request, 'cuz I'm poor? For fuck's sake, I might as well just quit friends now, right?? This isn't at all logical! Now, granted, she has a depression, but that's no excuse no matter how bad it is...emotions are feelings, depression is bad, mania is bad, and she might experience both...I dunno, maybe I'm being the jerk here, but it made me feel kinda terrible, and then I was like, "hey wait. What the fuck is this?" and so there's my bitch on that.
Then, THEN, I also hung out with another friend, and our mutual friend has said she doesn't like me anymore. Now, I've talked on this same person before, and we haven't seen each other since that incident, but before I was worried--now it's confirmed. What a load of shit! I get, ok, not liking me for some valid reason would be a-ok. Some people just don't find other people cool. But this isn't one of those things, this is a perceived notion that I'm creepy! I got that I'm a tall guy. Six foot five, no lanky build, long black hair, goatee, long coat...people see me? First impression is probably not going to be flowers and sunshine--try intimidating.
But this girl knows me, or at least I had an idea that she did--we hung out every New Years (and some times outside of that, whenever get-togethers would occur) for what...eight years or something? I mean damn! But then, we went working together, and she thinks I'm *creepy*? By what the Hell right did I come off as creepy? The few times that, in passing as I'd go to the food room, I'd ask if she wanted something from it? O LAWDY, WALKER DONE WENT AND GOT NICE TO PEOPLE! HE MUST BE MANSON! Fuck that...and to say that I was uh, stalking the other co-worker we had? Sydney?...what, 'cuz we were working at the same table, having many jokes? Or is it 'cuz we swapped MySpace/Facebook info to keep in touch? Or maybe I'm stalking her 'cuz she asked me what my phone number was so she could keep in touch. Yeah, really stalking.
Now, I'm upset by these sort of ridiculous accusations as any...I mean, is it so hard to believe that a person can think you're cool, and want to hang out with the cool that you are, without it being a stalker thing? Am I stalking badass Dustin Welton 'cuz we decided to be friends after a project together in school? I thought he was cool, hey, let's hang out sometime? Am I stalking Casey 'cuz she was the bomb and helped us out at Metrocon after we helped her and her crew? Am I stalking Black Kyo now, am I stalking badass Mike? Am I stalking fucking Samuel L. Jackson for joining his Twitter now, is that what this is??
I don't mean to sound irritated, but I really respected this person--very much as a friend, I'd never date her, and always talked highly of her, and every New Years I wanted to see her and Justin again (looks like I'm stalkin' you, Justin!) and this is the shit I get. Yeah, thanks Tori. Thankfully, I'm also told this isn't the first time she's done this before, and has been dramatically paranoid over nothing and inventive of scenarios with people before, typically other guys. Is it a guy thing, does she just hate on guys? I don't know, I can't imagine what's through her head, but I really hope she gets over herself on it. That shit sucks, and it's gotta make things difficult on her relations--old and new. Good luck.
And then the last thing, the thing that chaps me the most about the news I've gotten since I've come back--bad, bad boyfriends, or friends that want to be boyfriends. The ones that are your friends 'til you don't go along with what they say, and then they're terrible people...I just heard, and seen, a dozen examples the last few weeks of guys being too pressuring, or too smothering, or creeping a girl out to the point where she has to move, or move on. Or the guys that, when you don't want to do what they want, they hit 'em? I mean, for fuck's sake, are you out of your MIND? Did you just forgo any sense of honor and respect for the ones you claim to love? And then you have the gall, the man-marbles, to beg her to come back into your life??
Seriously, if I catch or hear anything about guys treating their girls like shit or being creepy--and I mean *proper* creepy, the kind of creepy Tori obviously has no idea about, the kind of creepy dealing with a dude touching a girl while she's trying to sleep or shit like that (like this José kid I've now heard stories about!), I will drop you. Like, it won't even be funny, we don't treat our women like that, we don't treat anyone like that! You don't hit girls, you don't flirt with girls that aren't flirting back, you don't touch the women 'til they want you too--Hell, put on "The House Rules" by Christian Kane and listen. And to stop being her friend 'cuz she won't dig you? You can't say you love someone, and then have it all about yourself. 'Cuz that's bullshit.
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
current mood: aggravated
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| Thursday, August 13th, 2009
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2:41 pm - ~The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.~
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~The Good.~
You know that bit about how life doesn't ever go exactly as planned? Yeah, still in effect. Let's get things first out about being here back in California though...it is great. I can't speak for Matt, he'll tell you on his own time what the changes mean for him, but personally for me? It's great. The weather's fantastic, the company--while a difficult scenario to be explained later--is awesome, the community's teeming with versatility and culture...I mean, things aren't great now? But I feel better now being here than I did in Florida, by lots. Maybe I'm biased 'cuz I have so many friends and experiences here, I don't know.
It's not even on the friends, because I have great friends in both places--and indeed equal amount, in both places. Just scoping out my Facebook the other day, and in the section of "Networks with the Most Friends", I had 31 in California, and 31 in Florida split up between two cities/networks for each: Sacramento, Sarasota, Silicon Valley, and Tampa. So that ain't it at all--I LOVE my people, they're all great people. It's the feeling of opportunity. Maybe if I lived in Tampa instead of Sarasota or Bradenton, I would have felt differently--indeed I like Tampa whenever I stay there for Metrocon, nice feel.
But that'd be because of the bus system, and the city life. Job--nay, career opportunities. Shit like that. I dunno. I just think it's all better--more experienced folk, more room to grow. So we are here, back in California! Lemme tell you, the trip wasn't so fun. We sent down the computers ground (because air was just gonna be ridiculous) and some various boxes, two each really. Things cost much more then anyone could have expected however (and thanks so much, again, Bender!), up to and including the on-board luggage, which cost $100 for me and Matt to put on our two bags because they were over 52 and 55 pounds, instead of straight 50. What a fucking load of shit.
Anyway, on our last day or so, we went out with Fax and Mitch and had a farewell dinner that couldn't be beat, and I got to say goodbye to them--and that was really fantastic. We then got to go to Tampa, deal with airport bullcockery, say goodbye to matt's folks (who I am extremely grateful to), and took our flight. It was a long flight too, I don't know how Matt survived it--lots of cramped space and bullshit. Stopped over in Texas, waited around, then off again to California. Upon touching down, the first person we find is Rebecca! Zeke's Rebecca that is, forever here just called Becca to not confuse her with the other Rebecca haha.
Becca and I get our things and we're still also looking around for Jim and Rebecca, who were also supposed to meet us here. I call Jim up, and he went to the wrong baggage claim, but unfortunately the number I had for Rebecca was old and no longer in use. So...we just hoped she was there! We went down to Terminal A, found Jim, and proceeded to search high and low for Rebecca. LOTS of time doing this, before we finally gave up and decided to get back to the apartment where hopefully we could contact her using AIM. ...Only to find out once we got back that Rebecca was waiting here in Jim's apartment all this time!
Now...as you know, Jim's living situation was told to us as, we'd be moving into an apartment here in Santa Clara, his two-bed, where we would stay 'til we have jobs since Jim can safely pay for this apartment by himself. Matt Ridgeway, the Matt that was Jim's room mate, was asked to find a new place (possibly in two weeks time?) and we'd be moving into his room. Unfortunately, this is not how reality worked. First off, the apartment is BAD...like, way, way bad. like, the fence is made up of mattresses. The insides just...bad. It's not my old house bad? But, it's bad. Cockroaches climb the wall, very reminiscent of the song "Common People", and this isn't the first time I've been in a place like this (who remembers NYC? I do.)
So...then came the surprises. The first big one was that, Ridgeway was not leaving. He's on the lease, and Jim can't force him out, so...yay us. And the SECOND surprise is this girl named Vi, the SECOND surprise Jim neglected to tell us! Now, this is no crackdown on Vi, she seems like a nice person, but this wasn't in the deal when we were brainstorming this. I knew Jim wanted to leave very very much into a new place leaving this place behind, but he didn't tell me it was because of the fact that other people were living here--he just said he had a problem living with the cockroaches. This? Now I can see why--it's a little cramped in a two-bedroom low-income home. And we just made things worse.
Well...I needed time to mull this situation over, and Matt had never experienced himself a Mountain Mikes pizza ever in his life...so off we go. We still didn't have any computers here, and it seemed like a good idea. The only one Becca knew about was the one next to Chris Steinwinder's house, so we gave him a call and had him join us! By the time we got there, it was me, Matt, Jim, Chris, Becca, and Rebecca all around a mountain-sized Pepperoni Pizza. We laughed, had good times, told some stories, and the whole thing was great! Then Becca went to take Jim home for his own scenario, and we went with Chris Steinwinder to tour San José for Matt's sake, with me and Rebecca jibba-jabbin' on the side.
That evening, we all reconvened minus one Chris Steinwinder and two Rebeccas (they had to go home) to eat, where Jim called down Brian and Mike to join us. We had a good decent dinner, though I found out they discontinued my Pineapple Dream (T_T bad call, Denny's...) and that's where I found out my THIRD surprise. That the girl Vi also has a friend, Cheryl, who is ALSO staying at the house. This just promptly escalated from three people in a two bedroom apartment to six people in a really, really shitty low-income two bedroom apartment...right fast. My head was spinning. I felt like every time I left and came back, Jim had a new girl staying in the place, and that's exactly the joke I made. Turns out...I wasn't wrong! But at least the newest addition would rock the house.
The next day, we bring our biggest concerns to Jim and create a plan where we can live on our own and succeed here. He then brings up that next surprise, that there's someone else he wants to bring in on this. This, was also, not part of the plan--this puts us back to finding a four-bedroom, which is much more expensive and difficult to find than a three. But, hey, he's saying this person we don't know rocks, and is exactly like him, and so on and so fourth, already has a job.....not so bad. I'm iffy, but that's me, I don't like making decisions 'til I meet people, and so he tells me he'll bring this person down.
I ask the name, and he says Jasmine. And I'm like..."who names their son Jasmine?" and it's not a son at all, it's another girl! But he assures me, this is going to be awesome. So, I'm trying to imagine this female version of Jim, who thinks just like Jim and so on. ...Kinda weird, but whatever, don't judge. He's gonna bring her by the next day. Instead, we go over to Brian and Wally's house to jump in on their game and meet everyone again. Unfortunately for us, the D&D game is full, and that's too bad 'cuz I was part of the original story's team that this game is offshot from. Mark's there, also, as well as a new guy I'd never met before named Andrew Nagel.
He seems like a real interesting and cool dude, and especially when he offers to pay our foodage when the game breaks and we're off to the Korean version of Mongolian BBQ. No Wally and Brian this time, tho. We had damn good eats, damn good laughs, and a damn good time. Finally getting, we kick back, relax, and wait for our PCs to arrive. The next day, James brings by a girl named Jasmine--the room mate. Immediately upon speaking to her, I realized I wanted her in the crew. So, we went back to the Denny's (ahhh good ol' Denny's) and proceeded to plan with her the rest of the way. It went REALLY well, although it seems Jim would like us to move into a three-bedroom apartment.
Not sure who's sharin' a room in this one. Ain't me and Matt, or me and Jim, 'cuz they like their own personal space, and I'm always about. Ain't Jim and Jasmine, either. So...we'll just have to see. But the point is, we'll be out of here either the 1st or 15th. If not sooner. 'Til then, we have to wait and see! We have no means of getting jobs really at this point however, since Jim has no phone here whatsoever for us to put on the application, and we have no Internet by which to e-mail and fill out online apps (which 75% of the application now-a-days are). So, we have to wait. 'Til FRIDAY. And even then, on Friday, it gets delayed, so we gotta wait 'til MONDAY! Agggh, like a week and then some without computers man. Brutal.
But we kept ourselves occupied, hanging with Jasmine and such mostly, and eventually convinced Jim (wasn't very hard) to let Jasmine move in with us in the two-bedroom, since she was staying with a fatass 46 year old man who was a severe drug user and was extraordinarily obsessed with her--like, lusts, and pines, and sobs for her. It was bad. So by the time our computers got here just a few days ago (which is why it took so long for me to update anyone or respond to anything), we had seven people now living here. Madness. We'd clean the place up and it'd get unmade faster than we can count. Not cool.
Now, we have our computers back though, and things seem to be returning to some semblance of normal. Jim asked Cheryl and Vi to leave (for room, you see), and asked Matt to expedite his leave as well since we'll be leaving also. Things are now clean, and we aren't utterly cramped--especially with that daybed good and folded up forever into a chair. I got to see Jamie on fight night meeting her boyfriend Nick (I knew Silva would win, and guessed BJ would too), attend Anna's babyshower, say hi to Rachel, Hell, I even got to see Alex again!!!! Jasmine rocks the house, and Jim and Matt are (as they always have been) excellent room mates, and while things are under a very slow start, they seem to be flowing in the right direction. We'll see--still trying to find my ground here. Sent in a buncha apps, feelin' good.
~The Bad.~
Unfortunately, the BAD with all of this is that my buddy Zeke is still in jail for a misunderstanding dealing with not completing his probation's last day or some bullshit. He thought he was done, but no, he wasn't...two years ago. So, they've caught him and I had to go to his court date to ensure he was getting the support he needed! This was yesterday, and O LAWDY was this some silly shit. So in I go, happy to support my brother 'cuz that's how I do, and it's just the silliest damn court case. Nick Fury presides (literally this grizzly old war vet with an eyepatch) as the judge, and he's decided that this is his church sermon rather than a house of law.
So he starts preaching to everyone for about an hour on second chances, and what to do, and what not to do, and examples, and going over what he just said, and rephrasing, and bah gawd...THEN we get the actual trials, and all these guys go up 'fore Zeke so whatever, then when Zeke's up he's like "I'm giving him 16 months" and Zeke apologizes profusely and pleads for a second chance, and the judge gives a speech about how excuses are worthless--and even though he, himself, was late, there's no excuses, and then starts listing his excuses for why he was late ... Then takes pity on Zeke, says he'll review this case on the 9th. This was further helped by me making friends with the bailiff, who put in a good word for us.
Meanwhile, the people who came with me are Rebecca--Zeke's girlfriend--who is really cool, and Zeke's sister who no one--not even Zeke--likes. Like, she does nothing but talk. Forever. Nonstop talking. About nothing. And every time I tried to talk, she just talked right over my voice as if I wasn't there, and keptt right on talking. I hate her. So anyway, we get in the van after shit's done, and I'm like "what now?" and she's like, "well Zeke said he wants to call us, so we'll wait for him to do that at my house--how about a BBQ to celebrate?" and I'm like, yeah that's dope, my room mate Matt and my room mate Jasmine would love to come too since they're all worried about ol' Zeke, and Rebecca's cool with it...
But then Zeke's sister wants to bring her fiance of seven years and their daughter instead, citing that family's more important. So, our friends don't get to come, instead we have to put up with nonsense. We go to the sister's house and she takes an age to get ready, and then we're off. The daughter's not so bad, and the husband seems quiet, so no problems...we get to Rebecca's house, and I meet her brother and her father.During eating, me and Rebecca's father talk about tanks and guns and his old war stories since he was a soldier and other good times, and he seems really cool.
Then we all separate, and while we're waiting for Zeke to call--which we learn could be anywhere from 4PM (when we got out) 'til 10PM--Zeke's sister and her fiance wanna watch Valkyrie, the movie with Tom Cruise about a German rebel faction wanting to renegade against Hitler for his slaughter of the Jews. Saw it with Bender in the theaters--not the greatest movie of all time, but worth a watch sure. Then the sister leaves, and I'm like thank the Lord finally...and I'm left with her fiance. And we start talking...first he tells me he's big into politics, but he did several felonies so he's not allowed to vote or have guns.
Then, he has a gun magazine he's reading, so we start talking guns--he likes the M-16, I like the AK-47 instead, shit like that. Then, THEN, Tom Cruise on the screen places his plan out for everyone else, and someone insults him saying "I thought you'd have more honor"--and I'm like, that's weird, most German soldiers at that time didn't care about the concepts of honor, it's why they kicked ass so hard in the beginning and shit, and he goes:
"No, the only person that ever got treated badly were the Jews, and to be honest there's only one reason for that, and it's not because their hair and eye color. In all honesty, Jewish people get a hold of key financial communities, and then change the economic scales to fit their own schemes. They're doing that even now here in America, and American people are starting to see that. The only way to deal with them, was to kill them! And I know most people don't want to say that out loud, because it sounds mean, but we all know what we have to do...we have to kill the Jews to stop them, it's the only option."
And I'm sitting here kinna flabbergasted, and I'm like, "uh...bro, do you know who you're talking to? I'll give you one hint: the size of my nose."
So, he walks off promptly. I learn later he had a swastika tattoo on his back. So...I had to wait, all day, for my friend to call, with a really, really irritating girl and her nazi skinhead boyfriend, who avoided me like the plague after he figured out what I was, 'til 10pm--and my buddy didn't even get to call. And my friends got to not eat at a BBQ. And I got to be home by 11PM--a 12 hour shift of bullcockery haha. It was pretty bullshit, and me and Rebecca laughed about how stupid it all was all the way home. Still, I was glad I got to hang out with Rebecca, and see Zeke again, which I can now reassure our mutual friends like Andrea, Cody, Jim, Matt, Larry, Jamie, and the Sacramento crew of their being ok.
~The Ugly.~
The last item on the list today is, as should be no surprise to anyone by now, my old buddy Nick Troyer. Now...this guy apparently took my last blog pretty seriously, and that means that it must'a stung somewhere. Good to know. But, I wanna address it (and him) as I usually do, so from here on out, I'm gonna say this like I'm talking to him...'cuz, I am. Nick, I aside from the wrap-up, I've been pretty much like you--I've just not really mentioned it, and you can ask on Mitch and Chris--I just want an apology, and that's all. I've mostly done what I can to not talk on it unless people really want to know the story of what happened (like Dakota and Huan did), and even then I tell my side of it as fairly as I saw it. Can't say the same for Matt.
The wrap up? Not me trying to insult you, that's just a list of things you said that insult yourself. If I wanted to Demonize YOU, I'd go on (and on) about how you accused me of comic book theft, or snooped through my room after I left intentionally every day, or threw shit on me for possibly taking 150-point comic books out the door when we KNOW you've taken things of a much higher value from there all for yourself and your fun, or your pranks you pulled (or the lectures we got for pulling might milder pranks), or go into greater details about the blow-up ball incident or the e-mails you snooped through or the write up.
I wasn't trying to dig things up, that was just the wrap up--the big events, and I specifically let you say on you, rather than us say on you, to avoid digging things up, and just highlighting what everyone found funny and knew about to begin with. ...That being said, you outlined some things. Let's touch on them:
Unbolded and italicized, are Nick's words from his recent journal. Mine are my usual bold after.
1) "I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this arcade!" And Matt's input Blood: Maybe cut himself once. Sweat: That place was an oven 100% of the time, so sure. Tears: Maybe he cried when he cut himself? Who really knows. All in all, TILT was serious business, and you should have some gorram respect for your manager. OH LAWDIE! NICK ACTUALLY -LIKED- WHERE HE WORKED AND CARED ABOUT HIS JOB HOLY SHIT STOP THE PRESSES! As far as Matt's input, I've never cut myself over TILT, and I've never shed literal tears over TILT. Its a figure of speech, obviously. And before the responses from them roll in, I know that you know its just a figure of speech and you're trying to make fun of me. Durr hurr.
1a) Dunno about Matt's input, but he claims you did cut yourself. But I think his stab was less at making fun of you, and more making fun of how someone could take that job so seriously. Take it how you will, though. You enjoying your job? I'll bet you did. Too bad at the people's expense. More on this later.
2) "I threw Walker's cup away to be a dick" IF this is referring to what I think it is, which is me throwing away a used Subway cup that had been sitting in the back of TILT, I didn't know it was his until Matt told me. And then I said THAT as a joke. This was when we were all still friends. Hooray for context!
2a) According to Matt, you'd asked and knew that it was my cup well before you threw it away. If this isn't fact (and you'll know deep down which is--I couldn't know, I wasn't there), then the joke still wasn't funny.
3) "I know this makes me sound like a dick, but I think it's all Bender's fault." Nope. Not what was said at ALL. Here is the context, and what was actually said. The context is this is back in January when all of this started, I was trying to explain to Walker and Matt that lately they hadn't been doing a good job at TILT anymore. Nick Bender was back in town and had spent a significant amount of time hanging out with Walker and Matt all three together in the store. What I said was, "I know this makes me sound like a dick, but I think part of the problem is too much Bender." AS IN, too much hanging out at the job. A point towards that I made was that there was some crusty taco bell sauce that had sat there the night before from them all hanging out and eating taco bell in the store. To me, from my point of view, it made sense that those three hanging out together at work meant work wasn't getting done. More on that for the next quote.
3a) Now you're misquoting your quote. I'll give you "sounds like a dick" rather than "looks", but you certainly said it was Bender's fault. And I KNOW what you meant saying it, but you weren't talking about Taco Bell--you were talking about the dusting of a machine, and Bender wasn't at all there that day to distract us from doing our jobs. He was in Ellington visiting Brandon. So you insisting on that, was uncool.
4) "That's the kind of guy Nick Bender is. ... On a personal level? That kid is gutter trash." This came about because of when I told Walker and Matt that I thought Bender hanging out at TILT was making them not do their job well anymore. Apparently, this all got turned into somehow everything was Bender's fault. Evidenced above by Walker mis quoting me by saying I said it was all his fault. This is what Walker actually believes that I think, or thought. And I'd put money down that this is how he conveyed it to Bender in the first place when they all started riding the Hate Nick Troyer train in the first place. So why is that bad on Bender? Well, it pissed me off pretty bad that Bender thought that I was blaming him for everything and was jealous of him just because he was told so, and never once tried to find out from me if that's the way it was. That really bugged the shit out of me, and made me say that. That's why I said that shit. Do I really think Bender is gutter trash? No, he's not. 9 times out of 10 Nick Bender is a good guy, a generous friend, and he's more than willing to help people out less fortunate than he. And he makes a living protecting the United States of America by serving in its Army. If I could go back, I would have probably chosen my words towards Bender a little better. And I apologize for calling him something so extreme like gutter trash. But at the time, I was pretty pissed at him for acting like that. It was pretty bullshit from my point of view. Obviously we don't talk anymore but I hope the guy is doin' good.
4a) I told Bender straight up exactly everything you meant by it--that by his being there, you were somehow distracting us from doing our job. I don't paint you wrong, brother, even if we disagree on the exact quote--I get your intention across, word is bond, 'cuz I like to make sure at the end of the day, everyone knows the situation and what side they're on from that point on. And he thought it was bullshit. And his notion of jealousy, didn't come from me and mine--it came from himself, and his own personal observations. Hell, I didn't even think of the "jealous" conclusion 'til he did. And while I wasn't ever sure on it, Dakota kinda confirmed it. So uh...here's to America's military subtle interrogation tactics? They figure shit out. Good on you for finally apologizing for the name-calling, but this runs deeper than that.
5) "Steve Snyder does his job. The rest of you don't!" Uh... props to Steve? He did really well at TILT. The only time he left the place messy was when he was in a car wreck with Chris and was hurting. He handled customers really well and was eager to do extra whenever he could.
5a) Steve did as much work as everybody else on good days. Sometimes, he did none--like some of us admittedly did. Matt tried to point that out to you when you wrote me up, by walking right over to what Steve had crossed off his list and running a finger along it to show you the dust. Hell, you even saw it. It should be noted his list was a mighty lot smaller than mine, and my lift of checked-off itemry had mysteriously vanished for the proof of this. So anyway, making the joke that we were expendable, but Steve wasn't? Not cool.
6) "I don't steal from TILT. Sure, I borrowed money from the store's safe a few times, but I ALWAYS paid it back." Nope. What this is referring to is me using one, maybe two quarters to buy a soda I didn't have enough change for from the machine outside. Which was always paid back the next day. I didn't take handfuls of money from the safe unless I had to go buy something with the Petty Cash money for the store.
6a) Nope. Maybe that's what your quote is referring to, but what makes it funny for us is the time you stole money from the TILT to pay your cell phone bills. Bender, Mitch, and Matt all got that tale to me. So stop your high-road, you got no ground to walk on.
7) "Do it or you're fired!" Nope. This is from the holiday season of 2008. The pump for the puffer balls we needed filled up had gone missing, and Matt had spent the entire time on shift(in between customers) looking for it for me. The store had not been cleaned or anything all day because of it. I wasn't mad at Matt, because he had a choice of making the place look nice, or finding something that was important, and he chose to look for the important item. That's a shitty choice at work and I didn't blame him for it. I'm sure I came off like I did because I was upset and frustrated, but I understood that choice because I've been there before. I asked Matt, for the first and last time ever, if he would help Walker clean up a little bit even though he wasn't on shift anymore. He told me no, his ride was on its way and he'd be leaving soon. I told him okay, no problem and I asked Walker if he would clean up the -best he could- that night, since I also was having him pump up puffer balls, which he wasn't happy about already, and he responded that he would try. And, already frustrated and upset, I said "I hope so, or you might end up fired." Matt was right there and later told him and we talked about it and I apologized for being an asshole to he and Matt and went over one more time with Walker what of us from all of our bosses, not just me. It was a sour day but it had ended on an okay note with watching some Angel, or Buffy, or Firefly. I forget which we were on at the time.
7a) No, you said "do it or you're fired." That's how even Matt heard it. But again, we can stick with intentions--you meant a threat. You weren't upset that the store was a mess either, you were upset that something was lost, and you were UPSET....like, I'd never seen anything like that from a grown man before. And slammed shit around. Loudly. And not just a few things, but all over the place, for a good long while. Customers were worried.
8) "OR YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND SLAM SHIT AROUND!" Same day, but happened before. Like I said I was trying to get them damn balls inflated for the crane, haha. I couldn't find the pump, but I improvised and switched the tips of a different kind of pump so it could hopefully work. While I was searching for the old pump, I was getting shit out of my way. A mostly discarded piece of Wood that Mark and I were keeping in case we needed it, but never did, and also some empty boxes. In my frustration I was removing things placing things back into the tool box. Loudly. I handed the new pump and the puffer balls and asked him to fill 'em up for me. He threw the box onto the glass counter top he had broken once before. I said that quote and stormed out of the store like an asshole. This was also already apologized for and talked over that same night with the rest of the shit from the quote above. I never met a man alive that hasn't at one point been angry and frustrated. Sorry I'm human, bro. But at least I was man enough to talk to you and apologize about it. You know, almost 9 months ago when it happened.
8a) On the note of apologies, you never said "I'm sorry"...you just said thing that amounted to reasons why you did it--excuses. But, again with intentions, if you INTEND to apologize, then by all means I thank you for it. You are Human, this is true--I know, I make big mistakes as well--and made them there.
9) "He's been a good friend to me for over a year now and that is no lie. But I'm not gonna bend over backwards for him either." After Walker wrote his big huge blog throwing me under the bus the first time, I made a pretty long one in response. At one point I said the quote above. What looks like me saying I wouldn't ever help him out even though he's been a good friend, was me trying to say that I'm not going to do his fucking job for me. Because that's what started all this stupid shit in the first place, me feeling like he wasn't doing his job, and feeling taken advantage of because of it. What I was trying to say is that even though he's been a good friend to me, I wasn't going to bend over for him. The "backwards" part should have been left out.
9a) This one isn't true. This wasn't a replied blog, this was a personal e-mail (which I have saved, along with all of them), in which you were discussing reconciling with Matt who was upset with you. I thought this particular piece was funny, 'cuz it seemed to me to say "he's been a good friend to me, and bended over backwards for me, but I'm not going to return that favor because I am currently upset with him." And PS: The blog throwing you under the bus was well after you threw us under the bus. We made up, had a good Denny's, and then you threw me under the bus again. Not cool.
10) "The glasses needed to be cleaned, so I drew CLEAN ME on it." - a foot away from the glass cleaner." This isn't even a quote. This is just what happened. The Tekken screen was hella dusty and dirty, and after cleaning up several things in the store, I drew clean me on the tekken screen with my finger. The way I grew up, this is common practice. My dad used to do this to our cars, our tv screens, whatever. To get us to clean something. Its not malicious, its pointing something out and being somewhat lighthearted about it. I guess their whole problem with it was that I did that on the screen's dust when a bottle of cleaner was right next to me? Okay, fine. But the idea was to share the work load so one person isn't doing everything. I had just spent my day cleaning up over half the store's games up until a half hour of my shift was left. And yeah, I know one screen wouldn't have made a difference as far as the "work load" but I didn't think it'd be that big a fucking deal to point out a screen was dirty either.
10a) Share the work load? SHARE THE WORK LOAD? AHAHAHAHAHA...O Lawdy...I won't touch that. Instead? Maybe you thought it wasn't a big deal, and maybe it wasn't. But it reflects character. You'd rather draw "CLEAN ME" then clean it yourself. It's not our TV that you drew it on where the responsibility falls solely on us, it's the store's monitor, and we've got a job to do. Rather then play Tekken all day with Steve, you should have done it--you were on shift. We all did our part, maybe because you weren't there to oversee it you never took notice of the things we did do, but by playing Tekken with Steve it's obvious you were just partial to having to do any of yours. ...And you did say this, after I asked why "CLEAN ME" was written there. So, that's why it's a quote. Also a moot point.
11) "I can tell you I definitely didn't go through your e-mails. Do you remember how many times you've had to trust me with that password because I simply cannot remember its jumbledness?" - Shortly before MySpace confirms Nick Troyer used the e-mail to hack MySpace password. </b>
This shit again. All I can say to this is that they changed the e-mail address attached to the BSG myspace without having to go INTO my e-mail. Apparantly he thinks he is the only one gifted enough to do that?
11a) NICE SAVE! Ya still did it, dick, and you didn't rob from me--that was supposed to be a page for all of us. I didn't remove you, see? 'Cuz it was a page for you, me, Bender, Mitch, Zeke, Steve, and so on, to represent us as brothers. Damned selfish of you to take it. And anyway, MySpace already tracked back the way you took it and confirmed, so...you can say you didn't use the password, but we already know you had to get the password to look up on my e-mails anyway, since only two other people other than me got the quotes you used to begin with on that one blog--Rebecca and Matt. And since neither told you, you had to do it. Or, maybe you had a friend type it in and read it off--I don't care, it was you, and you know it was. The People knows it was, those who had their e-mails read through by you in the past, know who it was--it's following a pattern, and it's ruling out any doubts. Piss off.
12) "Tilt is NOT your toybox, Walker." We all took small stupid toys from TILT once and awhile. When we were feeling particularly silly we'd even play with some of them. They obviously weren't worth a whole lot, being cheep hunks of Chinese plastic. Matt and I used to throw handfuls of the bouncy balls around the store and run and go pick them back up. What the quote here is referring to is when we were all sitting around at Denny's, Walker took out a whistle that was in TILT(It wasn't even a prize of ours, it came in a pack with the air pump I bought because it was a sports package or whatever), and I noticed it as such and said that. I was joking around. I know I'm good at "straight facing" a joke and seeming serious until I laugh with the person and assure them I'm just joking around. Maybe I didn't do it that night so it was assumed I was serious? I don't know. I do know that I was somewhat irked that I found the remnants of a new TILT prize in Walker's room everytime I went and hung out with him in there. It seemed like he didn't care about moderation. And that's the part that ticked me off. None of us took toys or stock -all the time-. It was a once and awhile thing. Except for eating candy. We ALL over-ate the candy there.
12a) The only toys you'd seen in my collection by that point was a chess board game we got out when we played Chess on my first day of work (you opened it, I might add), a checkers board some kid didn't want (thought the pieces were shitty, I just liked the board 'cuz I could use the chess pieces on it rather than use the shitty cardboard one...which didn't work out, I might add), possibly some candy thing (like you said, we all snacked out). This does NOT constitute as me taking toys all of the time. Really, really nothing out of the ordinary. If you were joking, you didn't seem like it--you didn't seem merely serious, you seemed downright irritated. It just so happens that this sort of thinking--that TILT was not our toy box--was the backbone of your lectures during the comic book scene, too. I'm sorry dude, that shit just really pissed me off--it wasn't that you were just an asshole for assuming the worst on me, no, it was the hypocrisy behind it. You did worse than all of us, and you had the nerve, the NERVE, to act high and mighty. Yeah, I'll admit I'd had the trinkets, sure, who didn't? But that was my point. And we certainly never did things like pay cell phone bills or have the large prizes. And you didn't come at us with these lectures as a means toy-theft being a sometimes-activity. You came at us with a "stealing is wrong, and you should have never done it" ordeal. Followed by quotes about blood, sweat, and tears. That shit pissed me off. Seriously man, you are so damn indignant, and you got ZERO ground to stand on when you do it.
13) "As you know, I now go through walker's room every time he's gone." When I found a TILT basketball from the Rage in the Cage game in Walker's closet while he was in California for new years, that's when I thought he had been taking too much. Little toys and stuff were one thing. Small 2 cent chess sets made out of paper you know? Whatever, yeah? But this was too much. I didn't do anything about it then, because its a delicate situation. From Walker's point of view it wasn't a big deal, but to me as manager it was a lot more serious than a couple of little BS Chinese toys. So after he came back, when he went to work I'd take a quick look in his room to see if anything else showed up. I didn't go turning his whole room upside down like some pissed off parent. It didn't matter though, from Walker's point of view its the same thing. And I didn't blame him for being mad about it. Anyway, what the quote is from is when I did one day decide to be bold. And found in his dresser two STACKS of comic books from TILT. When I did that, I told Matt about it because I was livid. Matt's response to the situation(at first) was that he didn't approve of the methods, but understood that I had reasons, and that the find was quite a lot to take and it wasn't right. This, in my head, reaffirmed my right to be angry, and the angrier I got, the more Matt defended Walker. But before I was being out of line in the conversation, Matt for the most part agreed with me. So that's where that quote came from.
13a) Sorry, but if you're gonna tell this story, tell it right. You stole things worth 500 points and more, I had in my possession things that were only 150 points. My means of getting them were legitimate, and you didn't have the sense in you to ask on how I got them before you decided I was less than shit and stole them away from my room, AFTER you condoned snooping which...fuck dude, you just never do, that's room mate etiquette 101. I can't wait until you guys ever get a REAL room mate where you have real people who will smash your face in for shit like this. I love you like a brother, random lesser folks wouldn't be so kindly, no matter your excuses. PS: I won that ball, fair and square, in a manner that any customer would have.
14) "I can't wait until you guys ever get a REAL job where you have real managers who..." This was mostly directed towards Matt. Whose first job was TILT. The idea behind it being when Matt finally has to work for someone who didn't see him as a friend and wasn't lenient on the whole store like I was with everything up until the last moments, it would probably be a rude awakening for him.
14a) I should hope you meant that at Matt, even if it was incorrect to say. 'Cuz a decade of work experience having your job and bigger, tells me I know what I'm doing, and I can see what you did wrong. It's your first time running a show tho, yeah? So hopefully, you'll do better next time and do all the things you were supposed to, like carding kids buying alcoho--oh wait. That was your NEW job, after you quit TILT 'cuz you didn't like it anymore (read: had to do all the work by yourself rather then lobbing it at us).
Anyway, after clarification's over...I get that you are like everyone else, and that you are Human. However, these weren't taken out of context, or misleading--they were the real deal. Making mistakes is one thing, but it's not a crutch--you claim to have owned up, but apologies were never delivered here. In fact, very specifically I'm reading a paragraph from an old e-mail (concerning the snooping and comic books) where you said you WOULDN'T apologize, because you thought you did these things with good reason. Ain't the point of an apology man--an apology is up front, and it's to say "I was wrong." not, "I was right under the conditions I made up, but I guess not anymore, but I WOULD have been right!"...get me?
I know this blog seems like I'm joshin' you a lot, but fuck dude! I'm not trying to make you into some atrocious villain--I've met cats way worse than you, and I'll gut ol' Rick like a fish if I ever see him, but I do paint you as someone who's so busy wanting to be on top that you neglect your peers and center your attentions on one man: yourself. As for the doing-more-good-with-Bender bit, that wasn't a stab at you, that was a praise on Bender. I felt like I was doing things with him, 'cuz he actively went out and searched for people in need. That doesn't make you, Nick Troyer, any less of a human being, that's him being above and beyond the average man and I'm respecting him of it. Good energy, man, good energy.
And, if I came off as making that kind of guy--if I came off saying that as a comparison, I'm really, really sorry. It wasn't meant to be. That wasn't to downplay you, I was just like--holy fuck, this little time with Bender was exceptionally different than that lot of time with Troyer, where I was living previously, and it felt awesome. And if there's any point to bring on your character, it's that you did some things to me, that I would have never, done to you. And as for needing to feel like I left Florida triumphantly?...I don't think I did. In fact, I'd say I left Florida failing in my goals entirely, for the most part. The only time I left anyplace triumphantly was when I left TILT.
You're not the bad guy? Please. You're the instigator--or were. For every action you did, we just brought a reaction..and your actions were way worse. From hypocrisy and power-abuse to thieving on a serious level on your own brothers and e-mail snooping--or hey, snooping in general. Escalated? I'll say.
But...let's pull that to the side for a moment. That's a lot of bashing, and my arms're getting tired. Allow me to instead extend some congrats. You're not who you are anymore? Alright. I've yet to really see it, although yes you did offer the ride at Metrocon and no I didn't forget about it--I just don't trust anymore, see. But if really and truly, you're changing directions? Fantastic. Don't act petty? Sweet, s'not what some'a your boys've been saying, but...I'm not going to weigh that in. Hell, it's mixed signals anyway, since Mitch says you are clearly extremely sorry for all the wrong you did on us. Only problem with all of this...you didn't bring the apologies here, where they matter.
Maybe it doesn't wound you so terribly, that we aren't friends anymore and that you did this to ME, but it wounds me. You were, my BEST friend. You, not other people. We tackled everything together, and disrespect was never one of them 'til you decided I could be one of those guys you push around for whatever reason. Half a year? Ten years? Doesn't make a bit of difference, moving on's already done, but it's not going to be a session of skipping away. It's a big deal. I'm sorry, if you've felt wrong in any of this--Hell, I'm sorry if I've ever really wronged you without reason, but I'm pretty damn sure that just isn't a fact. To even think, to even LET some dumb shit like me stealing from YOU, creep up in your head, was mistake one, and you let it just snowball from there.
Hell, you were power-tripping before I even stepped on the scene--Steve said as much, and we all thought he was foolin' 'til we saw. Not the bad guy? No one is? Well, I don't think so. Hell, you should know better--that I will never do a thing bad 'less it's been bad at me first, in fact you know as well as any that I'm usually the #1 moral guy out there...above nearly anybody. I always try to do what's right, and to all the people here today? Know that from here and forevermore, I still always intend to do what's right. Any time I do an harmful deed, it's just me payin' some debts, 'cuz someone did it to me first. And I will never, ever, put a job above my friends, no matter what. Glad you "moved on" tho, bro, and good luck to you in your future endeavors.
Anyway, to the rest of the world? Sorry for the mix-up and to-the-side shit. I really, really am moved on from this, even if I Florida wrap-up didn't seem like so...the point of a wrap-up is really that you do over everything that happened that you can recall being significant to you. Is Nick Troyer the most evil thing in the universe? No. He's done his share of good things, some for me, some for others. It's just my opinion that he wants to be the head guy (self-admittedly it was always his dream to be the head of his crew), and he didn't like it when people didn't just do what he said 'cuz he started to abuse that power. Then, he got vindictive over the people vindictive on his power-abuse and horrible accusations--some of those accusations being made by assumptions, which this should learn everyone:
Never Assume. I hope he's really gotten his head on straight.
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
"If you are a fish and somebody gives you a tie for your birthday you'd probably think to yourself 'What kind of stupid present is this? I have no neck. This thing will always be slipping off me. I'm underwater all the time. The pattern's hideous. What a complete rip-off.' But you'd say 'Thank you very much for your thoughtful present.' Because even if you're a fish manners cost nothing." - Mr. T concerning manners.
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." - Samuel L. Jackson concerning Ezekiel 25:17.
"It's two different guys with two different takes. One's opinion is grounded in facts and the other is a delusional, egomanical sycophant. I'll let you choose who is who." Eric Bischoff concerning Paul Heyman.
"Oh, please. A king is just a face for his kingdom. However, sharing his people's suffering is NOT the king's duty. Rather, his duty is to save his people from it." - King Kashu Arnague of Flame concerning how to properly lead.
"We of the Knights have no one castle or capitol, no place where we stand alone and in power. Our fortress is each other. Our territory and kingdom wheresoever we plant our feet and say, "I stand here for honor and justice. And no threat nor wrong shall sway me nor stand before me and survive. And no innocent shall be harmed, nor defenseless one attacked in my sight while I yet survive. I stand proud as a Knight-Protector." - Scott Antman concerning our old group statement.
current mood:  hungry
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, July 31st, 2009
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4:20 pm - ~Highlight Reel: Florida Wrap Up.~
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As you all know (those who read these things anyway), I've been planning a move from Florida back into California for some time now. That goal finally comes to an end August 1, 2009. It's such a fucked up number, man...I mean, seven months here in this mess? But then you realize, it's been even longer. Yeah, since October 2008. Now it's time go back. Not just back to California, oh no! Back to San José, California...which, as many of you may know, did not end on a high note, yet at the same time had some of the best and most defining moments of my life wrapped into it. So...Brian Randall predicted a great return, which I thought, "return to San José? I doubt it", and yet........here we are!
So, to celebrate all this going back, I've decided to give a wrap up of some of my most memorable events here in Florida a la Skillz Rap Up sans actually rhyming haha. Forward!
First and most of all, let's cast back to the set up...who remembers Metrocon 2008? Man, the team of Walker, Nick, Mitch, and Kurtis was like an unstoppable force. Good times were had by many, and we rocked the house. Sure there was little on sleeping, and little on food, but we did what we had to do and saw it through. With the Fran Chant backin' us, how could we lose? And the next Metrocon, the one this year? It's too bad Kurtis missed it, and same with Fran too. But it was Mitch-run and packed with awesome, I'm just so sorry some of the higherups think they're better than some. Maybe they'll some day come down to our level and act the family we're supposed to be, but 'til that day we'll keep that spirit strong.
And the vacation thereafter? Man it was slammin' (and I don't mean there was literal slams Nick), with the Troyer house a thing of warmth and pleasant. I miss those days man, how could things go so wrong? First it was just pay half a cable bill then chip in for food. Then $50 a paycheck, then $70 a paycheck, then $80 a paycheck, and even when I paid more than that, I still did wrong? I figure there must'a been somethin' else at large here 'cuz, I got no idea. Still all the same, I give them respect and thankyous, maybe I didn't agree with the tactics, but I believe in lots of their views. I appreciate all that they were willing to do, even if it went eschewed, and I'll be looking to repay that favor some day for sure.
And who remembers the D&D table? Every damn Thursday we'd be up in there, doin' our thing. Our waitresses were rockin' at the Denny's, and it'd be me and Nick, and Chris and Jill, and Hell even Steve. But do you remember before that? When Justin was runnin' the show and it was fulla crap! Gave us all the "Wish" spell to use as we pleased, and then told us that that's not how our wish spell really worked. Monsters that were just downright funny, with monsters that were made of illusion magic that could bleed blood that really did poison that also existed in an anti-magic field...that kinda shit! So silly, even the Matt of back then took away his DM sheets.--"No, THAT'S how a wish spell really works!" Haha!
And watchin' Firefly with Jordan was a damn good time. Dude didn't even know there was more to Serenity, and damn near lost his mind when he found out! Too bad he never called for the last few episodes. Oh well, maybe some day right? His family is awesome in more ways than I can explain...Sonja and Maddie make me smile as much as he did, with good life to them and good heart. I hope that Jordan gets outta life what he wants, he seems to be as frustrated as I am and on the same amount of time. I hope soon enough he asks Sonja to marry him, 'cuz the way I see it? It seems destined to happen. Good luck to them both then and there, and hey while we're at it? Good luck to ol' George too.
And hangin' with Shadowfax, man what a guy! Gave us whole reasons to even come out of our house. Since Denny's was too far away, something needed to replace it. What an option! Applebee's was the shit, hangin' with Mitch, Matt, and Chris--listening to people sing (both good and bad) and laughing at shitfests (read: Nitro). Man, what impossibly bad rap on karaoke! Nitro would go up and sing Gangster's Paradise or California Love adding in his own brand of extra white nonsense all over it, and whoo! Between Mitch's ex Erica and Jessica re-singing "You ought'a know!", we were about done! And while we barely got to see the DJ, we could help him set up every week it happened. And when the Metrocon came, man I'm sorry for what happened to your dad...here's hoping things go better from here, especially with your mother having to cope. Thanks for keeping us apart of your team, I only hope we can be even more helpful next year. You ever need us for any, you'll sure let us know? Hell, I'll take a plane flight down just to solve any problems you have, and that's no bullshittin'.
And Mitch my brother! Stood tall, stood true...without you, there would be so much unaccomplished. Rubbin' your belly to the music is still one of our funniest moments, as well as weirdin' poor Matt out. It never made sense to me why you stuck with guys that've proven less than loyal, but that's always been you--forgiving and diplomatic, and maybe we've all got a lot to learn from you! And Mitch here made sure we had a BSG page, by sendin' in the photo when they took it over and convincin' MySpace who it really belonged to! And Mitchrocon, where we ran Ballroom A? There's no Metrocon that's been funner since 4.5. Remember doin' Tech Crew dance with the crowd behind them? They didn't know WHAT to do. Man good times...I'm sorry that we didn't get to hang out as much as we would have liked--that's right, once a week not good enough for you man. You're gonna be one of those things I miss most of all!
And biggest moment ever? Nicholas Bender. How the Hell can I sum up you? You came here for a few weeks and turned the world upside down. While things were unsettled to begin with, you pointed out where they was, and made it right. I did more good with Bender in two weeks in his passenger seat, then I did in four months livin' with Troyer! It felt real good to get shit done for people, just for the sake of them, regardless of what time was sacrificed. There was that time we drove a city away just to save a girl from her punk-ass boyfriend, remember how he was talkin' shit? I hope that poor girl gets a better boyfriend than a jerk like that. And man, we ate at Outbacks more time then we ever needed. Got a lot to thank you for man, so glad you're finally home...Florida needs it's champion. I hope to see you all the more.
And Nick Troyer? I would say something on him, but I'll let him sum himself up with some quotes:
"I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this arcade!"
"I threw Walker's cup away to be a dick.
"I know this makes me sound like a dick, but I think it's all Bender's fault."
"That's the kind of guy Nick Bender is. ... On a personal level? That kid is gutter trash."
"Steve Snyder does his job. The rest of you don't!"
"I don't steal from TILT. Sure, I borrowed money from the store's safe a few times, but I ALWAYS paid it back."
"Do it or you're fired!" - to cleaning up his own mess
"OR YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND SLAM SHIT AROUND!" - Angry after slamming shit around for a half hour.
"He's been a good friend to me for over a year now and that is no lie. But I'm not gonna bend over backwards for him either."
"The glasses needed to be cleaned, so I drew CLEAN ME on it." - a foot away from the glass cleaner.
"I can tell you I definitely didn't go through your e-mails. Do you remember how many times you've had to trust me with that password because I simply cannot remember its jumbledness?" - Shortly before MySpace confirms Nick Troyer used the e-mail to hack MySpace password.
"Tilt is NOT your toybox, Walker." - From the guy that took many, many toys from TILT.
"As you know, I now go through walker's room every time he's gone."
"I can't wait until you guys ever get a REAL job where you have real managers who..."
Man, I could just go on. So, on to the next guy!
Steve? I don't get where he's comin' from. Sometimes he's workin' for Nick, and sometimes he's tryin' to chum it up. But one thing's for sure, we had good times, hangin' out late at night at the Denny's when no one else would. And remember when that Twilight shit first was gonna come around? We summed it all up at once, with several laughs and good times. And the Denny's crew? I'm gonna always remember you--I hope to visit you, too. From Christina (sorry 'bout spillin' those croutons! We made up for it by cleaning up after the Italian Jersey guys, right? XD!) all the way to Kelly and Patrick, and J.T. and Mike...Charlie! Everyone! And those crazy kids who tried to have sex in the bathroom? XD Man that was funny, interrupting their high note. Christmas and New Years was a blast, and I'll never forget all the free stuff we had. Pineapple Dreams, they rock the house! And we'll be back.
Fran...what more can I say? The very times we see you, it makes our day. And I'm sure you know that much, that people love to hang with you, but just in case that wasn't clear, we made a Fan Club dedicated to you! I'm sorry you miss Metrocon this year--let us know if you need help attending the next time, 'cuz we'll prolly be able to get you in. Don't let Gabe trash talk on Terry Bogard, and make sure you don't let anyone ruin your good times--stay true to yourself, you're a light in the lives of many. Good luck on graduating and achieving your goals, and I hope you'll stay in Florida...'cuz anywhere else you go? We'll miss you there. ('Less you come to Cali!, haha!)
Star Party? This year you were amazing. It was such an honor to work with you all! Everyone was so good to meet, some from previous years, and some whole new peeps! And wasn't it crazy that everyone's outfits were so good? Our Misty was spot on if not even greater, and our Meryl looked better than the original girl she was tryin' to portray! (then again, that was true when Iris played Penny as well!) Katie, I hope you feel better on yourself, don't give yourself such a hard time! Good luck on cheering up, and we'll be around if you need us. Your story was great, thanks for letting me read it! And Mike and Casey, thanks for all your help at the end of the night--we packed that shit up faster than we ever have. Sorry about being too heavy when you tried to pick me up Mike, and Casey...we're serious! Keep off your injured foot next time! Frankie? You give Black Kyo a big "Hello", we never get to see him much, but he's always a good guy. Make sure you play the shit outta KoF 12 and lemme know how it goes! And thanks for making us not feel so out of place when the Cast Party came around.
To all you people, good and bad--to Florida. Man, I'm gonna miss you. I'll be back around, Metrocon don't stop, and I'll come down for other things to. We got family here, no matter how rocky the past--and we'll make the best of it and make it up to you all, you just wait and see. For now, this computer's gotta be packed up and we gotta leave! I'll update you when I get back to California, hopefully tomorrow but possibly Monday at the latest...who knows man, might be a shit-ton of things to discuss! It'll be good to be back in the land where folks like Kurtis Dustin reside, and #2 and Jacob...the whole San José cast is gonna be there for sure. At bag check itself, me and Matt will be met by Rebecca, Rebecca (Zeke's XD), and Jimling. First order of business? I'm gonna be pulling for some Mountain Mike's. 'Cuz the lack of that here in Florida has me shakin' my head. Maybe some Green Sauce burritos at Taco Bell, since they don't have Green Sauce here either! See you there.
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
PS: Happy Birthday, Jamie. And thanks so much for all this help, Bender!
current mood:  ready to go!
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 14th, 2009
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5:17 pm - ~Metrocon VII -- no, excuse me, Mitchrocon!~
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KATIE~!! Katie, what in the specter'a Hell are you playin' at?? My play don't crash! If it crashes, you crashed her!!
-An excerpt concerning Katie showing up last minute for the Star Party (but she did, and Star Party was awesome as Hell!)
Prologue to Metrocon VII
So when we left you off, we discussed Metrocon as an event that would star me, Mitch, Kurtis, Matt, and Chris! I'm sorry the lateness of this journal entry, but there was a Cast Party a few weeks after the con, and I wanted to get that included in this...so, the notion was that Chris and Mitch would pick me and Matt up on Thursday on their way from Sarasota to Tampa, and the four of us would meet Kurtis there in Tampa because that's where his plane would come in. Unfortunately, hardly anything works out the way it's supposed to this year revolving room and travel plans, and so several upsets occurred that changed things here and there. The big one being, that Kurtis wasn't able to pool the money enough to make it this year whatsoever...so it was down to the four of us.
The next big surprise on our menu few weeks before the convention was that Chris wasn't able to drive us down due to a fireman's training session they apparently scheduled for him on this same exact day--Thursday. This threatened to be a monkey wrench, that ruined our plans, but we had a few last-minute alternatives from kindly parents of Matt and Mitch, with us accepting Mitch's dad's offer over the rest just because he probably made that trip a lot and he was (as Mitch said) happy to do it. That problem out of the way, it looked like everything was set! Drive down to Metrocon on Thursday! Mitch figures we should go over Wednesday night, so's we can leave bright-and-early like.
Then the NEXT big thing, and this was very much last minute, like...within a day or something, Chris says he can't drive us home either because he can't make it for load out either (and without being there for load-in or load-out where all the work is, I worried he wouldn't even be able to have a free tech badge X.x)...because apparently he didn't get his day off on Monday that he should have asked for at least three months in advance. Man...like me and Nick used to say for years, nothin' stops our Metrocon plans. Especially jobs. I remember when jobs tried to pull shit on me, last-minute telling me I can't have the days off I requested hahaha, I was like, "...No, no, sir, you misunderstand. I said I'm not going to be here on those dates, I'm not requesting them off. I'm requesting that I keep my job despite it."
Because fuck 'em.
But anyway, this posed another real big last-minute change. So, Mitch calls about and gets Lauren to be our ride (and thank her very kindly for doing so!), and we're on our way...we think. That very evening, Chris poses for us a conundrum...a riddle, if you will. Not really, but it's something else we didn't expect. He would like Dakota to fill in for the two days he's not staying, by staying two days with Chris. So, four days total for the both of them, but they'd spend all four of those days on two days...if that makes sense. Anyhow, Matt apparently talked to Mitch enough on it, and Mitch talked to Chris, and Chris said to Mitch that they'd pay $100 each and that it'd be $200 total, for the room. Which is $25 more than what Chris would pay if Chris had stayed all four days alone.
So...with all of this, the next-day comes around and we're scrambling our last-minute Metrocon supplies together all packed, when Mitch proceeds another change-up...and this one is to help Fax load the truck from his house. Now, I have this faint impression that we've done this before for him, but if not I've certainly unloaded the truck--me n' Roy n' James were pretty much all of Fax's help doing it last year. All for helpin' Fax (or 'least I was), I was rarin' to go...with the slight dilemma that my traditional Metrocon blunders with my feet and/or legs kept true this year. But rather than it being some giant fall injury as previous that take out the knees or something (tie your shoes children!), this time around I'd gone and messed up my feet real good.
See, back in San José, me and Jim walked everywhere barefoot. Like, dry desert heat, every summer day 90 to 115 degree weather, and we'd just walk barefoot to places near us. Laundry room? Barefoot. 7-11 across the street? Barefoot. We had developed callouses on our feet (feet looked normal but were harder than simple babyflesh) purposefully for this cause, so it was never a notion that we couldn't do this. And even now, in this new apartment complex, it never occurred to me that all this time not doing any walking on the hot asphalts of California would take away my ability to--but, it sure did! I went and gathered my laundry, and proceeded to go and take it to the cleaners in the mid-afternoon, walkin' along on my bare feet 'cuz this is how it's done to the laundry room.
...Whole way there, no pain or anything beyond slightly hot which is to be expected.
Same with all the way back. Then, once finally back on carpet, my feet feel a tingly. Like, a little painful even, a little bit...raw. But I go out and I do it again right after 'cuz I forgot to drop off an article of clothing. Whole way there, no pain again from asphalt, whole way back, good to go...then on carpet again, feeling was even worse! Finally I figured they just needed to cool off, but what really happened is I got what Mitch deemed a "water blister". It turns out, second degree burns may result in blistered skin. Blisters can also form on the hands and feet as a result of tissue damage incurred by what's called scalding; it's a "bubble" in the skin filled with serous fluid as part of the body's reaction to the heat and nerve damage. With no callouses, this is what I got--burns, and eventually, blister.
This haunted me for the first half of Metrocon in varying degrees, and this is exactly what I had to work with while down at Fax's house loading the van, but man we did it anyway--me, Mitch, James, and Matt doin' heavy-lifts (Matt on serious PB&J Sammich creation on the latter half), while ol' Prismcat got smaller things, and Don stopped by momentarily to load up lil' truck thing as well. And Fax...drifted about, pointing and mostly dealing with the problems in his life (which were that his father was in the hospital). It got loaded in no time, and to Mitch's we then went. We walked to 7-11 with Mitch's room mate Dan, got some BC Powder which is an over-the-counter analgesic pain reliever. Because of its powder form, it dissolves faster than pain-relief tablets, and thus gets to work faster. Good stuff!
We then go to sleep, and wake up proper-early in the morning, and off we go!
Thursday, June 18th
Steve, Mitch's dad, is an excellent guy, and I am very thankful for the ride, because we had good fun and damn good music. And you know, the ride itself haha! Upon touchin' down, I felt immediately at home again. I've lived all over the place, lots of it in California, but not even goin' back to the Folsom or Marysville houses would ever feel like more home to me than Metrocon. Even without it being here yet, it was still the epitome of the concept--I could smell it in the air. I wasn't sure how Metrocon would go, or even feel, without Nick in my ranks this time around. There were also several people not returning this time around that were considered (by me) to be Metrocon staples, such as Jean, Suzy, aforementioned Kurtis, Sam, Fran, Adrianna or her crew...
Hell, even Roy wasn't gonna be here this time around, as I understand it. In fact, between Roy's problems (and Fax trying to put out the fire caused by them) and Fax's father in serious medical condition, this is why we didn't have official BSG Tech Crew shirts or official BSG Tech Crew badges with our names on them made out for me and my crew's part of the Tech Crew. It's totally understandable, and unfortunately not everything works out right...but we'll get to that later. I wasn't worried, but at the same time, I won't say it was feeling right either 'til that very moment. It felt very good to be back, and I knew Mitch felt it too...because he completely forgot his cellphone in his dad's car XD!
The first hour of us is trying to check in--we're here damned early, Fax ain't even here yet, so it was me and Matt trying to make it happen all correctly while Mitch went to find a phone--any phone--so he could call his dad. Unfortunately there was none, so he had to use the phone in the room. And unfortunately, Mitch's dad was far too gone. Since Chris was coming tomorrow, it was the notion Chris would bring it by tomorrow. It's then we met Prismcat on the way, four of us wolfed down an early breakfast courtesy of the hotel, and proceeded to walk our way (or, for me, hobble my way--where's Steve at to call me House??) to the big ballroom in the convention center to start this bad boy up. We're greeted there by Fax and James and a few nondescript side helpers (one of which--Isa Sherry--stuck by a long time when she didn't have to--so thank you, you person you! It's appreciated!) and we fairly quickly got everything up an running, if I do say so myself.
...Even if between every major lift-and-move, I was sittin' down as to rest my feetsies.
Still, me and James busted out on the wall-hangers pretty quickly (or what I call the things that go on the diamond-shape truss, which was a much better truss set up this year I might add...you know, the typical egg lights and such.) Mitch was also kickin' ass, but he had to leave to perform Tech in Ballroom A which is the very thing that Mitch is taking over this year! Running it completely! And we being Mitch's very good friends, that means we'd be there too to assist him with whatever. This little slice of Metrocon we'd soon be dubbing Mitchrocon, because it's the part of the convention where furries wouldn't be as appreciated. (Seriously, they were everywhere for the first half of the convention. Mitch just glared at them and shook his head in disapproval the whole time.)
This would end up being the center-stage for a lot of events, with two speakers on either side, and a nice little sound system. It was then that we were met with several rehearsals thereafter, first with the ol' Metro Star Party! Now, I'd never seen this event before unfortunately, but I hear it's been a big hit, and I didn't realize Mike (Mario-Mike Harrington, not Kyo-Mike Burgess) was runnin' the show! Involved also was Maddie, who we (me and Nick) tried to help out many times in our past if you recall...she got her camera stolen and we went looking all over everywhere for it, and then the other con where she collapsed of some sort of heat stroke? Or...something to that effect, at the rave. In the days when Vicky and Liz had a lot of time to talk to folk, hahaha! Poor girls workin' a lot these days, but I imagine that's same with everyone at the Chess Match and Masquerade stuff.
Anyhow! Along with Maddie (who was gonna be Peach) was also lilo' Katie playin' Kasumi/Misty from Pokémon (who you remember was the chica in the doll role doing that badass intermission!), and several new people I got the honor of meeting and befriending! First was Iris, who was gonna play Meyrl from Metal Gear Solid in this and also had another show in the same Ballroom with Mr. Sherman Christensen (a Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along play), James Wood who I'd met briefly previously but never had the honor of working with (he played Solid Snake from same game), Casey Ritchie who played a badass Samus (Metroid), Frankie McMahon (who looked very excellent in a suit by the way), and a whole slew of other folk that, while I didn't get to interact with as much as these previously mentioned, were all great people. By far, these people were the highlight of my stay here at Metrocon--no, excuse me. Mitchrocon.
We watched the rehearsals for both the Star Party and the Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along play, and seeing both rehearsals was well worth it because they were a lot of fun and you got to see insight to everyone's character, and how they looked out of costume before they re-performed it in costume the next day...got to see how Mike ran his crew (did Metrocon seem a little militant to you this year? Lots of "yes sirs" and barkin' orders...might just be me, tho.), got to meet all these wonderful people and see how they tinker with ideas, and mostly just had a real good time with it all. After this was completed, we went to help out Mitch in his set up, and then we all eventually moseyed on back to the house to collapse and die. I was fine mostly, 'sept for my feet--I really, really don't like this curse of traditions haha.
From here-on out we pretty much slept, with the only brief wake-up in it bein' Nick Troyer callin' in the wee-hours of the night to tell Mitch that he, himself, was going to be bringing the phone for Mitch. I didn't even recognize him I was so out of it, not 'til Mitch told me who it had been the next morning hahaha. Matt, as so far, didn't quite understand what Metrocon meant the poor guy...the rehearsals weren't enough to spark it, he didn't get the notion of what this place was about...he felt like he'd wasted money on something he didn't want to do, and I hoped that with this very next morning--when Metrocon officially kicked off--we would be able to show him once and for all that Metrocon is not something you miss, even for your job's sake. And, it turns out? It worked.
Friday, June 19th
Day started off, kinda cool--we got up later than Mitch, took our showers, got dressed, and went to breakfast. As typical of me, I'm not hungry when I first wake up, so it was mostly Matt stackin' up on the donuts and me getting a glass of 98% Water (read: 2% Milk)...which, mind you, today tasted like it had insecticide in it. Not fun. But in the plus side, we ran into Vicky there and got to jibba-jabba for a bit before she took off, and then I guess off we went too. We wanted to hit the Metrocon Star Party good and proper, since we knew they were gonna do another rehearsal and we wanted to be there with Mitch when it all went down, and see the others. This is the very thing that Katie showed up last minute for (Matt: "She's a girl after your own heart, Walker--always last minute!") that I tossed out the Malcolm Reynolds line at, and the second rehearsal was all in-costume and as fun as the first!
Then came the real deal, and lemme tell you...these guys know how to ad-lib and fix dialogue when something doesn't go right, 'cuz like once or twice it went down, and it was seamless transition. The crowd that was let in got all into it, and that's where Carrie--if you remember her from last year--showed up in the middle. Asked on her oogie-woogie bear (Kurtis), but no go...so just hung out with us and had good times haha. The Metro Star Party is several short skits based around Super Smash Bros. (and other inside jokes developed by them), and between each skit is a series of games the Star Party heroes initiate for the audience to go about and play, and collect "stars" from the cast to turn in for various prizes. Katie and Logan (who played Ash) covered Poké-trivia, Samus did Galaxy-Bowling where you rolled a giant smash ball at large, hand-crafted bowling pins, I think James was doin' various exercises? Regardless, it was good, and throughout Mike's givin' out prizes with Madison.
Then they come back for the final act, cheer away, and show's over...ran about two hours, and it was a blast. We proceeded to do what's now known as the Tech-Crew Dance, which I'd used variously in my life as a modified Jim-Erickson-Waving-Around-In-The-Back-Of-James-Major's-Car-Like-An-Idiot dance, and really caught on. Now everyone tech crew knew the dance--it's just wild flailing crab-like motions in place. It's fun. Anyhow, we did this during the dance-scene too, everyone loved it and thought we were goofy--later down helping them with the cleanup, Casey did it too haha, so she started doing it with us. It was awesome. Later down we took a look around, grumbled at the massive amount of animal-suited people that refused to talk that tried to hug us and invaded our space, and saw more rehearsals for Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along play (is it me, or did he just go through it with a new girl one-by-one? Better to walk through all at once, would be my figurin'...)
We eventually left for Publix, to get sammiches, and that was fun. Did plenty of exploring, too, using last year's badge (we had this year's, but fuck it last year had my name, and they accepted it at face value. All 'sept that one bastard! >/)
We finally ran into Chris and Dakota, so me and Matt went back to the room to bring them in, and Chris then took off to find Mitch while Dakota hung around for story-time. (He got curious as to how things ended up the way they are with Nick Troyer, and so we told him what we saw), and...then we realized we'd been late for the Masquerade! And I always try to make that 'cuz I know Vicky's involved in directing, and other friends of ours would prolly be in it (Sherman was for instance), so off we went to check out the show. Dakota split off from us to go find Mitch, while we went in and sat down at the VIP table we always do (like a bosssss.) and watched on. We'd missed some of it, but the tale was pretty easy to catch onto--it was a mix-up of The Prince and the Pauper. Like last year with Katie's performance, it was the intermission that stole the show though, with another talented mechanical-doll style set up this time by Anne Tully (who, it turns out, is also in the Dr. Horrible Sing-Along play.)
After it was over, tradition mandated that our boss ol' Fax perform his usual DJ jam. Unfortunately, something had gone wrong with something or rather and he could no longer get a signal from his computer to the rest of the system, so he had the DJ that was supposed to perform with him tomorrow night, go on tonight instead. This was particularly disappointing not just because Fax puts on a damn good, clean fun rave, but there'd be no Thriller played, a Michael Jackson beat that I told Fax to play one year. He told me the people wouldn't go for it, but we assured him they'd love it, and sure enough they did after he put it on (we bet him pizza on it), and surely he's played it ever since. I'd hoped he'd play it, as per tradition ('cuz he's put it on ever since them) tomorrow night, but....no. Nothin' makes a party shake like MJ, you say what you want about him as a person...and what happened a few days later? Michael Jackson dies! T_T Should'a kept up the tradition, man!
...Anyhow. Mitch shows up, and after a few jams from this new guy (who, mind you, is league's better than Greg), we decide to uphold a different tradition. The break-from-rave-to-walk-to-Walgreen's-Friday-night tradition! And away we go--all the five of us walking. Well. They walked. I hobbled. But, you know. We made it there, got anti-blister bandages (that helped minimally) and hung out. Then, we went back, and proceeded to lounge about the con 'til sleep time, where we spent several hours in the dark making really, really horrible Pokémon puns without pause or cease except to give long-winded, haggard man-giggles. I don't know how we eventually went to sleep, but we did, and the day seemed to go off perfect and without a hitch and it was by now that Matt had learned what the Metrocon Spirit was alla 'bout! Soon enough, however, he's also learn about the traditional balancing Metrocon Dramabomb that would come along with it...the next day.
Saturday, June 20th
Saturday seemed to begin as any other would. Chris and Mitch got up first, showered, and left and their leavin' woke up me and Dakota. Dakota hit the shower first, and came out, and I went in then after. By the time I got out, Dakota had gone off, and Matt was still sleeping so I left as well. The morning went by amusingly--I hung out with Mitch right outside Mitchrocon (read: Ballroom A) and laughed at shit, and philosophized about what exactly made Metrocon, Metrocon--that thing that really captured the essence of it. It isn't about Roy, it isn't about chess matches or even costumes, it's...freedom, and being with your friends during this time of vacation and expression, and just havin' a fuckin' blast laughing at shit. I mean...that's really it right there. Family, and comradeship, and unity through common interests, and just getting some days away from...everything else.
I dunno...but, then suddenly, we see people doing this line-dance of ear-wiggles and such (someone called it the Caramel dance or something?), and me and Mitch interrupt it with Tech Crew dance--a FAR more sudden and silly dance, haha! Here's a video that doesn't catch us well:
Anyhow. Later down, me and Mitch go in to listen to the torturous sounds of Random Encounter. It's nothing horrible in a sense, but the...I dunno, when they get to singing, it kinda kills it, and they aren't doing much new here (although they're trying with the accordion). In the end, however, we all just kinda shrug (or hate them when they do something particularly kill-worthy). Dakota and Chris join us half through, and when it ends they leave to go back to the hotel. I stay back to help set up the Outland Armour: Steampunk Costuming show as best as I can, but the pain in my feet is just immense by now, and no silly blister-bandaids are helping any by this point. Mitch mentions (as he had this whole convention) that I should just pop 'em with his knife (sorry for the visuals!), but no one's seen his knife anywhere.
I'd done this already Friday, but a slash via a knife heals fast on me, so they just went and healed up. So...deciding I should do this again, it was off to the hotel room. Now, it turns out that Dakota and Chris still hadn't gotten there, so I joined them--if nothing else, I could wake Matt's ass up since we hadn't seen him. So we walk (or, again, I hobble) on down to the hotel and go up. The room's vacant, Matt must'a gotten up some point, so I flop down upon that couch and cool my heels...literally, I really don't want to move at all anymore. I can't see Mitch's knife anywhere from my spot, so I just have no idea what'm gonna do. Chris walks into the bathroom, and proceeds to explain (in grand irritance) that the bathroom was fucked up beyond repair.
First, he mentions that the floor is wet. Keep in mind, I hear no splooshes or anything, so it couldn't have been that soaked, but even then a wet floor on a bathroom from four guys taking a shower isn't that unheard of. Mitch did a number on it all by his lonesome the day previous, haha! Nothing a quick towel can't fix. Then he goes on to say that the bathtub is clogged by some unknown means, going on to say he can't see why, and then Dakota and him go on to joke that Matt must'a dumped in there or some crap like that. Meanwhile, Dakota's also gone in this to spot his towel on top of his backpack--his personal towel he brought only for himself. And he honestly and truly believes he put this towel away when they left, and now it's out! And since Matt was left here by his lonesome, they turn all this onto Matt.
Right. Matt looked through their things, grabbed DAKOTA'S towel, and destroyed the bathroom.
First and foremost, Chris goes on to say there are dry towels unused in the bathroom already--hotel towels. The bathroom is between where Matt was sleeping, and where Dakota's stuff was stuffed into a corner behind a dresser and hidden. Now, let's set aside that Matt would never do such a thing...let's say it's possible. Now, I know Matt better than most, and I know for a fact this dude's a lazy. He'd walk right into the bathroom and take a shower using hotel towels right there well before he traveled across the entirety of the two hotel rooms to the other ride of the room, pulled out Dakota's backpack hidden behind the corner, rifled through it and retrieved a USED towel from Dakota's arsenal just turn around and use it again. MWA HA HA HOW DASTARDLY, I SHALL USE THEIR TOWEL!!!!...come on. Even if he did, even if it were at all possible, grow a set man, towels can be washed! It's water!
Anyhow, they're both apparently lit up by this apparent breach of contract. Dakota says he won't even go to the bathroom without shoes on 'cuz it's wet in there, puts them on, and goes stomping into the bathroom. Not a single sound of water from that stomping, those are dry floors. But, that's just what I hear--they're kinda in the doorways, and my feet kinda hurt a lot, so I don't get up any, I just watch on and try to sort out their anger right? And Chris here, he's real indignant sounding here...he wants his money back, says he wants his 30 bucks back or some shit. And I'm like, there is no $25, there's only $25 additional he threw in. And he goes on to say he only agreed to pay $160 for both of them. And, that didn't even begin to add up--I says, "It's supposed to be $175 from the both of you, 'cuz that's what four days is, and you staying two days and Dakota staying two days equals out to four days. 'Sides, the extra bit's supposed to be for Lauren."
And he's mad--he's like, "Who the fuck cares about Lauren? I'm not her caretaker, who agreed to that shit?" and I said, "Well no one, you already said you intended to pay $200 between you and Dakota, we just thought that was awfully nice of you and decided to SAY the additional $25 was Lauren's bit, since she's staying Sunday night haha!"...you know. Teehees. And he goes, "I wasn't supposed to pay $200." And I say, "Well according to Mitch, that's what you were gonna pay, so go on now and talk that out with Mitch, 'cuz I'm not handling cash this time around." and then he goes, "Well...I did tell Mitch we were gonna pay $200, but that was money I threw in to him because I was being inconvenient." and I said, "Well...see? There you go." and Chris ends it with, "But now I'M being inconvenienced by the mess in the bathroom, and Dakota's being inconvenienced because someone used his towel, and now we want our $25 back!" and they proceed to leave in a huff to go and find Matt on exactly this matter.
...Keep in mind I'm still in pain haha. I proceed to do a long look for that knife now that the place is quiet, and as I do I peek into that bathroom. No, the floor is dry, like I thought I heard. The bath tub IS clogged, but the water is very clear. And you can (very clearly) see WHY it is clogged, because Matt stepped on the clogger when he was getting out of the shower. It's HARMLESS. So I undo the plug, and hobble out to continue searching 'til Mitch and Matt come in. Apparently, Mitch already found Chris and Dakota, and heard from them that Dakota wanted his money back. I was like, "no that was Chris. But, it's prolly extended to both by now." and I fill them in on exactly what happened, and Mitch here's like, "Oh God damn it, Dakota prolly just left his towel on his bag and thought he put it inside the bag...he's always doing shit like this!"...and I can see that haha. Matt resolves to deposit the money now and work it out with them that issue over the $25 when they come back, leaves mad.
While up there, Mitch and me get to talking...just reflecting how awesome things were just the night before, and how really, really lame this shit is, and how Dakota and Chris prolly just wanted to go room in Nick and Steve's room and didn't wanna tell us so they concocted this whole ordeal, when suddenly Mitch mentions that Cass is here at Metrocon looking for me. ...WAIT, HOLD UP, STOP.
If you guys remember (or search back far enough), you will find that Cass--Cassandra Lewellen--was Troy's girlfriend that I met at Metrocon I, and had been room mates with there all the way 'til Metrocon IV. That whole original crew, that I'd'a gladly been with again 'sept she didn't make it Metrocon IV, and I hadn't seen her since Metrocon III's stay over here in Florida. I used to go to her house when the deed was done, and stay there with Troy for weeks. Her, her brother, her mother, all wonderful people, and I miss days at their house like you couldn't believe. Like, I'd pay con money just to attend those fun times at that house again haha. She always said she'd try to make the next con, but you know, never really did, so when she mentioned she might make this one...you know, grain of salt. Then suddenly, WHAT?! She's fuckin' HERE?! O LAWDY! Time to go see my old friend! Just then though, Matt comes back in with Chris and Dakota in tow.
Chris and Dakota already asked on the deposit of the cash, and Matt's like "Yes I did put the money in" and they start packin' up their things. "Alright, but we're leaving. We can't trust our stuff not to be looked through, and the bathroom--" and I cut them off. I'm like, guys, the bathroom was fine, I looked it over perfectly, and found the reason why the tub is clogged up. And no one took Dakota's towel out that's just ridiculous! And Chris goes on to say, "Well I have paranoia problems, even if there's no reason to suspect anyone, I do, and now I can't sleep here because of them, so we're gonna just go back to Sarasota tonight. We want $100 back, since we're only staying one night."...and we try talkin' them, but we really can't right? And unfortunately, we didn't expect them to do this whole "go home early, gimme back $100" bit. Matt could'a returned the $25, but $100 we just don't have, and we tell them as much. I say, we'll try to give 'em their dues at a later date, and they leave.
Now, Matt and Chris are pissed at one another but good--and I think Matt's got a good reason to be. In Matt's mind, once he found out they lied to him (they didn't go home, they stayed at Nick Troyer's room like me and Mitch suspected), he adamantly refused to pay them back on the grounds that they can't just commit to a deed and then back out half-way back and expect a refund, akin to how you can't use up a product at a grocery store half-way and then give it back for a full refund. ...I agree with that notion, although I still think Chris is owed something for not getting anything out of that $100 spent. Now...I asked the hotel (Embassy Suites) how they handle a situation like this, and they say if anyone pulls out of a reservation half-way through attending it, they require that person pay $75 of it still regardless, for the hassle of pulling out of a commitment. This, again, puts Chris back at $25.
I'll get it to him soon as I got a job, for sure, if he's really that concerned on it.
But, I agree that whole situation was extremely dumb. Plus side? It's back to the three of us, the Mitchrocon Tech Crew, and it's good and silent because of it! Mitch and Matt take off again to do the next big thing--Who's Line Is It Anime, I guess. So, I'm left on the couch, no knife still (no one knows where it is), and in considerable pain if I try to walk on these feet again, with the packing of the water-blister smashing against the skin and such. I remember Cass is here, and it drives me crazy I'm not there right now saying hi! So I figure, fuck it, gotta find that knife and start looking everywhere for that sumbitch. No go. I sit down frustrated from looking, and then look over to my coat, trying to think of anything else sharp I can get in this place. Knives? No, butter knife won't do. Pen? No...wait. Pen. Pin. I look over to my coat.
The Barack Obama pin I always wear on my coat!! I drag myself across the room to where my coat's been tossed to the side, and get the pin off, and use it. Sure enough, it works like a charm--immediate relief from pain with the pocket of liquid opened up, and this time not with a knife but with holes--they won't heal near as fast as a sliced cut. Now, I'm 100% back-to-badass Walker, and I feel all this energy I didn't have (or couldn't) use swelling back in me...I feel like a million dollars. I can run, jump, kick, crush, and Hammerdance all over again hahaha. So! It's off to find Cass! I rush down the several floors to the lobby, and find Mitch and Carrie there again with Matt, and bug on Mitch for where she is, what she looks like--it's been a few years, dunno what she's wearing or what hairstyle she's fancied. Mitch, however, has no idea. He's never met her, he says...which I know is nonsense, but prolly never well. This information came right from Nick, it seems, and some other guy.
So, I hang out with Matt at the door after Carrie has us bodyguard the door (check badges and such), and I'm trying to spot Cass from my post...no good. I inform Matt all about who this is and what she's all about, and he digs the history, when suddenly I SPOT her. On the damn escalator. I spring with the quickness and like lightning disappear, leaving Matt behind to keep on door duty (which he seems to be very much enjoying) and go to Cass, and with Cass is her mom! Man, memories!! I say hi to everyone, hugs are exchanged, and Metrocon feels back to right again--like Dakota and Chris who? Cass wants me to follow her up into a few panels, and we do, while I try to convince her that she needs to be out of Indiana. Apparently, Troy's become a jerkface...and I kinda knew this, it's why we all lost contact. Troy painted me in a bad picture, I'm sure, and I had my problems with him, and Cass was very, very loyal to Troy...so, if me and Troy weren't gonna get along, no way was she going to either.
BUT THEN HERE SHE IS!
We're all caught up on things, when Cass' mom wants to hit up the concerts up in the main event room, but she's like "I really don't wanna stand in that line..." and I'm goin', "are you kidding? Step right this way!" And I take her past the lines, and into the main event room. This works out well, because I can show her what I do here...'cuz when they last attended this thing, I was just a convention attender as well. Volunteered for a few things like door watching and security bits, but you know, not an actual member of the team--that didn't happen 'til the next year, at Metrocon IV. So, here I am, now apart of this big deal right? And I'm showing her what we do, and how things've changed since last she attended. I introduce her to Shadowfax (who's mostly busy as always), and then find her a seat front row and center, catch up with her and try to help James and Jamis wherever I can.
But, there're technical issues with the sound, so there's no concert for quite some time.
I would have prolly stayed longer, but I went up to find out some tidbits about a Masquerade Cast rumor that Cass' mom heard on from Lil' Katie, who prolly knows everything there is to know about everything, and she's in a bit of a panic. Roy's on the PC (I gather?) and they're looking for Fax's oh-shit boxes that are missing, and about to send some jabroni down to Ballroom A to look (and, in fact, did send him before I could make him stop). I'm like, Ballroom A's my territory, and Katie's like "Well get down there and find the box then!" and, with a salute, I'm on my way. That lands me back downstairs into Ballroom A, and there's no Mitchums to ask on--just a Matt. So, I look around and find no such thing, and then tell the guy to tell Katie I'll ask Mitch on it. Off he goes.
Mitch eventually does find return, but we don't find anything. With Matt, I then go take Cass back up to her mom and tell Fax the bad news...and then we sit. By now, me and Matt are starving hungry, and we figure Mitch must be as well, so we depart their company for now to go get pizza from the hotel, order in proper. We get that pizza, and then we take it down to Mitch to eat with us since he hasn't had anything to eat all day, I imagine. We devour good, and then I call Cass to see what she's up to...and apparently she's gone and looked for us at the hotel...and naturally, we aren't there! Um, I think she also went home at this point...didn't feel very good. Argument with Troy, I guess. So...off they are. That means, sticking around for the Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Picture Show!
Despite the fact that I've not watched this before seeing the show, the show was a lot of fun. Sherman's good at his part, and Iris and Anne are both there as well, with Iris getting involved with the crowd as much as her own stage presence--they really dig it. Starts off with an evil-guy contest, and a whole lot of contestants end up joining in. Including this guy wearing nothing but orange spandex, shockin' ol' Colleen who was dressed up as Misa in the very same act. Then tried to ask Mitch if he wanted to get shocked, and Mitch replied "Wanna get hit with a hammer?" while picking up the hammer LOL. Turned that guy right around. At the very end of the show, Cass gives me a call and says she's comin' on back, so me and Matt split off from the madness to meet her.
This took a long while, but that's 'cuz we didn't realize she was walking here from the Sheraton haha! On the way to waiting for them to show up, Colleen is given a congratulations for her Evil Award from the show, and then suddenly some guy shows up pointing at me. Some guy I don't recognize immediately. Head tilted back, and he points...and closes the distance. So I do the same, and then when he gets to me he gives me this big hug right? And, I figure...commonplace here, really, so hugs on back--Metrocon's a family. Then, he pulls back and tells me the girl who fell on the floor in the rave (currently going on) is alright, just had Epilepsy, and I ask how she is...you know, bein' the concerned guy 'cuz this guy's sad up, and he's like, she'll be ok, and I tell him to give her my regards, and he turns around to the other people that are with him and says to them, "This guy has the biggest heart ever."
And at first I'm confused. Me, a huge heart just for sayin' that? I do got a big heart, sure, but anyone should'a said that. Then he goes on! "Years back, there was this Ryo-Ohki plush I really wanted that he couldn't afford, and he dropped like $35 out of his own pocket and bought it for me without a second thought, just because I was bummed out on it." and I remembered him! This is Steve, ol' Steve Sorato Steve!...I didn't recognize him, 'cuz the dude grew up. No clean-shaven kid anymore! And he proceeds to turn back around and tell me I did a lot for him, and he was really appreciative about it, and...I dunno, say what you want about the guy, I don't know him really all that well, but it felt amazing to be remembered for something I thought was not a big deal. And remembered well!
So, that was done, catching up with Steve here...and off he goes, and Cass shows up later down and we follow Steve into the Rave. We of course go get our usual VIP Table started by me and Nick at Metrocon 4.5, and hung out there exchanging stories over watching the light show. Then Cass gets a texting, and invites a friend of her's down to the table--the guy's name is James, real cool dude (gotta drop character and talk sometimes, bro XD!) and the bunch of us hung out, and Mitch joined us after closing up Ballroom A briefly, 'fore he and Matt left to retire to sleep. The rest of us stayed 'til the show was over (this is where I requested that Fax play Thriller, and he did not do it >:( ) and then left, splitting ways with James so I could walk Cass and Cass' mother home. We ran into Baru and Dakota briefly on the way and they caught up, Nick Troyer joining us. ...But, nothing really on that to mention. More on this later.
Finally walking Cass back to the Sheraton with Dakota and Nick and Cass' mom, we stop into the Sheraton lobby and me and Cass just talk there 'til the break'a dawn, just catching up even more and exchanging stories--and man, just good times an overall. Was real good to see her again. Then we split ways, and I walked back to the Embassy Suites to crash and sleep. Saturday was over, and in a way it's a good thing it ended so Goddamn early in the morning, 'cuz I figured we'd need to be burning serious midnight oil to get all the stuff down and back into that truck the next day. Boy was I wrong! Mitch was crashed out on my couch (JERK T_T) so I hit the chair, and slept like peace 'til Sunday--and the end of Metrocon--was upon us.
Sunday, June 21st
Sunday consisted of waking up and getting out, 'cuz we had the follow-up Metro Star Party to attend to! Our favorite of all things! This time around they didn't do the whole play aspect of the their scenario, none of their rehearsed skits, just devoted entirely to hours of games with the locals...but, because of how things ended up happening, they ended up doing many, many more skits than their previously-done! All ad-libbed, and the whole Goddamn thing was absolutely amazing! So many funny things came out of them just staying in character and going on the fly, and everyone looked like they had tremendous fun--as I was having a damn good time too. I spent the most of it helping Casey in her Samus roll, and her mini-game featuring bowling a giant Smash ball at giant bowling pins. I stood them up, she handed the ball back and gave out scores. And ordered people to keep off her Galaxy XD (you rolled the ball on a galaxy.)
That went on for HOURS, and I can't say enough how much I loved it. When the thing was over, as all good things must come to an end, it was here that I helped Star Party cast take their itemry back to Con Ops or what have you, nice and packed away. Then when that's over, we help Mitch pack up Ballroom A, and then me and Matt go on a journey to get everyone left (me, Mitch, Matt, and Carrie) some subs from Publix as we had the day before. Easy stuff, now that my foot's all better--and had been ever since I fixed it with the Obama pin XD We get back, and eat on the stage, just the four of us. We finish everything there, joking around and just having a good time. And I realize man...I'm really gonna miss this place, there's no doubt on that. And, I also realize it's about time for Metrocon's shop to be shut down.
Later here, we go to the Main Event room where Fax resides, and proceeded to watch closing ceremonies as it ended. What happened after everyone left was just tremendous to see...as always. As we go about dismantling it, we get to see the cast giving inspirational speeches to one another (again, sorta militant? weird?) and we got to see a lot of tears and emotion here. Everyone's going to miss each other and more. I give my goodbyes to various--hugs to Mike, high-fives to Katie, and so on. Say goodbye to Cass and her friend James and Cass' mom at the door, say goodbye to Sorato-Steve. The place cleared out mighty fast unlike usual, the gaggle of giggling girls uselessly following Roy not here because there was no Roy to follow, and the only people handling things now were actual dedicated staff peoples. The groups were split as usual--Roy's stuff packed up by Roy's crew, and Fax's stuff packed up by tech crew.
Only this time, Fax gave the supervising of his tasks on over to Don! Who was in lead of packing up Roy's stuff too. This had us actually helping out to pack both sides without fail, and it was a good time. In fact, the only girls that stayed were Katie helpin' out ol' Roy's crew and Casey! Katie I kinda expected, 'cuz she's always kicking ass and volunteering, but Casey I didn't...and Casey ended up helping us tech crew load up well after Roy's team had left...and she shouldn't have haha! Her foot was Hella swelling and messed up from her work with the Star Party, but she was persistent and badass and just helped us get it done. Mike showed back up to lend a hand too (and failed to pick me up haha!), and with their help man, and no interference or having to wait forever for Roy's team, or goofiness presented by our own members at times (read: Steve), we got done by 12AM.
...You read right. Impossible? Yes. But there it was, completely done. And we had an amazing time doing it, all kinds of laughing. Mitch and James were efficient as Hell (not to be confused with Cass' friend James or Snake-James from Star Party...there were four James here, no lie. Jamis is called Jamis for this very reason.) and, Hell, even Matt was donning his best work face and hucking things around like a boss. We got done in record, record times, and this meant we could enjoy the rest of the night with an early sleep. Right?...NOT. There was a party to be had! One we rarely get to go to 'cuz we're usually stuck here! Running back to the hotel to shower (Matt, literally, running so he could be first!), we cleaned up, and proceeded to the party.
Upon entering the scene, it's the typical set up with people in the pool and Metrocon-staff-only flag about near the pool. Some people I recognize, some people I don't. Good ol' Scotty McNeil bein' popular as ever, a guy named Q handlin' drinks for everyone--and man did we get the alcohols. Well, not Matt...but me and Mitch sure did. It mostly consisted of me and Matt hanging out like wall flowers nearby (we had no swimmy-trunks), and then later down me and Matt went back to the room. I got burritos for me and Mitch and went back to the party (Matt wanted to sleep), and the rest of the night consisted of me and Mitch talking to people by the pool side, 'til there was no one left but Scott and his girlfriend--and us four talked further on for many many hours beyond that, 'til Mitch was falling asleep in the damn pool XD Hahaha.
We return to our rooms after hugs and goodbyes with Scott and...damn I can't remember his girlfriend's name, Amber? I dunno, I suck with names. Anyhow, then when we get back, Lauren shows up with her pal (I forget his name too), and it's lights out for everyone from there. Sunday may have seemed shorter, text-wise, then Saturday, but I mean all of these events were long-lasting and fun as Hell, from Star Party 2.0 to the fun times had disassembling Metrocon (I haven't had that much fun doing that since Amano's World!), and the party after...I mean, it really felt like we connected to a lot of great people. Next year, I gotta get Katie to join us at the party 'cuz she was bummed out she couldn't go, and I really don't see why she couldn't. I mean, James was there and he's 16, and he's drinkin' up a Goddamn storm and fallin' all over the place, so Katie--several shades more responsible--ought to be there.
I'll ask them if it's possible, and I'll even say I'll not drink just so's I can keep an eye on her. Not that Katie needs it, but. Still. The party's for the Metro family, and she's that.
Metrocon: Aftermath
In the morning, we got in with Lauren's car and drove back to home. Upon being dropped off, everyone locked up the house soundly and we had no key yet, so me and Matt slept outside the apartment like bosses, and then eventually got to go lay down. Mannnn...we slept good and long, and then woke up all sorts of sore, but I missed the Hell out of Metrocon man like you wouldn't believe. It was like it used to be--this is the first time in I've gotten to do more than just work and sleep at these things, and I felt amazingly connected to everyone that I saw, and I just...then, we're here! Middle'a nowhere Bradenton! Noooo! But wait, hold up STOP...there was a cure for this. Mentioned by Katie, the Metrocon Cast Party was around the corner, and I was like...hey, wait. Can we attend? And she said, ask Fax. And Fax said, ask Roy. And Roy said, as Nick Fazio. And so we did, and eventually from Nick there was the ok! More on this later.
Uh...there was some questions here, I got a lot of them over the weeks, asking how things went with me and Nick Troyer. Did we run into each other, did we avoid each other, did we fight, did we speak to one another...let's just put an end to all that here and now. Yeah, he was there, and yeah he was occasionally standing in the same circle of friends as I was, but...I'll sum this up like Tupac did about Biggie Smalls, "Naw, but even if we saw them, we're not--We are businessmen, we are not animals, it's not like we're gonna see them and rush them and jump on them...if they see us, and they want drama? We gonna definitely bring it like only Death Row can bring it, but we're here as businessmen to enjoy and support the Video Music Awards from MTV because they support us!" We were cordial, and what few words were exchanged were pleasant. It was good to see him there.
Concerning Metrocon itself? I mean...a lot of people didn't get to go this year that should have. I mean, if I had it my way? All of my friends would attend this fantastic event, anime fans or not. It's not about the anime, it's not about the costumes and the chess match, it's not about even the Star Party or the Masquerade, or any of the talents done by Mike Femal (although his student did do the performances, the Anti-Troy could not make it this year), or any of that shit man. It's about family, and I know I've said this like...a million times before, but that's what it is. I'm not even sure if these people see me the same way as them, I dunno if Mike and Iris and such sit there and go, "You know that Walker guy sure is swell", Hell they prolly don't even think a thing about us Tech Crew, but man them? I think about them all the time, 'cuz they're family, and I'm gonna miss them, especially when we move.
Speaking of moving, that's coming off very slowly (as obvious by the fact that initially we were supposed to be gone by July 1st and here we are, July 15th, not gone!)...the hangup here is that Jim and the Matt down there was supposed to be getting a four-bedroom place with me and the Matt here, and I guess the Matt down there hasn't been really paying money for rent or anything, and Jim can't find an affordable place can just continue to pick up Matt's slack with, so he's gonna need to ask THAT Matt to step out of the deal for now--go back to mom's or whatever--and leave the two-bedroom to give a chance for me and the Matt that's here to move into THAT Matt's room and, since Jim can afford the two-bedroom by himself, use this as a security-blanket to go and get us jobs right then and there, and apply the money we intended to use towards a three-bedroom house once jobs are secured.
...That's the current plan, anyhow. Hangup is he hasn't asked Matt to leave 'til just now, and he's gotta be nice and give him a deadline, not just...toss his stuff onto a curb.
Last, but not least, is the Cast Party. This was a tricky thing to set up without rides! It was on this last Saturday, and Matt's mom was off to Miami for an anniversary thing, and so that meant...while she could drive us to Mitch's house to spend the night there Friday night (because Mitch is right next to Don's house where the party's being held), this doesn't secure a ride back home. I tried the bus system, but the party ends at 11PM and no bus runs after then, and Sunday morning Bradenton's buses don't run whatsoever. What the fuck? I guess people don't travel on Sundays! So here I am, I say "fuck it I'll risk it" and don't care if I gotta wait 'til Monday by loitering in front of the 7-11 like Silent Bob, I'll make this fuckin' party. ...Matt? Not so enthusiastic, he decides to stay behind haha, not wanting to risk it.
Well, the thing got solved by a ride with Lauren once more! She was gonna take off with Mitch and Summer and that guy I still don't remember the name of to a concert in Orlando on Sunday, and she figures why not just drop me off along the way? Badass, badass. This means I step on the scene at Mitch's house without worry, hang out with Summer, Mitch, Lauren and Dan (and see Mitch's dad) 'til they take off and I fall asleep. The previous night, I'd only gotten three hours of sleep, so I fell asleep at an actually reasonable time, and ended up waking up sometime at like 6am. I dallied about until Mitch woke up, and then Mitch's dad came in, and we exchanged stories until Dan and him left and it was just me and Mitch. We watched the 1,000th episode of Attack of the Show (two hours of hilarity), and then left for the part about 1pm.
Getting there, some people had already showed up. Logan was there, and Kurt, and my main man Frankie. They was playin' Smash Bros. and havin' a good time with that. Then we're talkin', and Logan says he's never played Street Fighter before (due to not getting our Shoryuken reference), and Frankie and me are sad for him 'cuz 2D fighters rock the house, and Frankie mentions he used to play CVS2 daily at the arcades, and I'm like "Hella! I love that game, used to play it daily too--I've got it here, even." and he's like WHAT??...and we turn our fullest attentions to playing Capcom vs SNK 2 just as Sherman and Mike show up. ...Mike had no mustache, I almost didn't notice huim! And CvS2, sirs and ma'ams, was the party starter, 'cuz everyone gathered around for battles of the 2D variety. We had a lot of fun with that!
Later down came food cooked up by Terry on the grill (delicious), and then watching people go off in the pool hahaha. The pool was WAY crowded, too! Too crowded for me at first, although Fax insisted I come to this party with trunks. I borrowed Matt's, since he wasn't coming. All manner of people showed by this point...Patrick, Katie, Hellfish, Roy, Liz, Vicky, Anne, James (Snake-James), Isa, Iris, Luke, and much, much more. Hell, even Casey showed up! And she said she wasn't gonna be able to. I eventually got into the pool, hung out with Fax and Mitch there, and eventually help Nick Fazio fight off the opponents at the opposite end of the pool. Just good, clean fun the whole time there, and I'm glad Nick let us come--even if he was a little unsure about us coming to begin with.
The day ended with me and Mitch and Frankie wanting to go get Slurpees at 7-11 (free Slurpee day every 7/11 of every year), and Fax deciding he wanted to go! So rather than us walking, he drives us, and we get several more people for the trip like Sherman. Upon coming back, many many more people wanted to go, so we turn right around and decide to do the walk anyway, showing them where to find the 7-11 and getting refills for ourselves; it was me, Frankie, Sherman, Iris, Anne, and many more. We invaded the 7-11 for the second time haha, the whole while me and Frankie jibba-jabbin' about all sorts of stuff from Black Kyo and arcades to tales of our wallet-losing burdens, when finally upon getting back...Mitch informs me it's time to go.
We said our goodbyes again, and again, I realize I'm gonna miss everyone about here very much. As me and Mitch walk home, we get balls of ice hucked at us--mine hits me center-mass in the chest, and Mitch in the shoulder. Left a bruise to both, and the guys who did it were some punks in a car...what bullshit, pissed us off real good, but the ride home from there with Lauren's crew was fun. I got back home, rinsed all the chlorine offa myself, and rested off my mind being blown away by all the awesomeness for a few days before getting around to posting exactly this...my journal entry for Metrocon 2009. To all the people I attended these events with, it is--and always has--been a tremendous honor. A rich man would never have that kind of power, and precious few lovers could ever be that satisfied.
To The You,
Walker Pennington.
current mood: honored
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